Chapter Text
The tundra's cold winter was finally starting to lift. They still lived in a tundra after all, but finally the heavy blankets of snow were leaving and bringing a brighter sun to make the harsh wind chill more bearable. It was nice, peaceful, exactly the retirement that Techno had wanted. And Phil was happy for him. Hell, he was happy for himself. He didn't think the trembling in his hands would go away since joining the server since killing Wil but the quiet snowfields seemed to help the tremble, if only slightly.
"Ranboo back yet?" Techno calls from the bee farm to Phil on his porch. He had built his own home only a few yards away from Techno's. They respected each other's space but also their want to keep each other close. They pointedly ignored the dirt that was still lifted around the area where Tommy and Ghostbur's home sat.
"Nah, but you know how he is," Phil shrugs, "he likes to stick around Tubbo. The two are glued at the hip it seems." Phil waited for Techno to make a snide remark about Tubbo, call him a government, or belittle his new home in the Snowchester commune. But nothing came. Phil knew that Techno respected Ranboo's friendship with Tubbo- anarchy was about freedom of choice, after all, and Tubbo wasn't actively creating a government so Ranboo was free to see who he wants. Techno still loved to poke fun at the boy, sarcastic remarks with no real threat behind them. The absence of those remarks made Phil's shoulders tense. "Why do you ask?"
"..." Techno stares at the bees buzzing around his farm, silent in thought.
"We can go down to the Greater SMP if you want," Phil suggests, keeping his voice casual. "He has been gone for a bit, and it wouldn't be bad to wander down there to get a read on how the egg is." In all honestly, Phil had wanted to take a trip down there anyways. He was bargaining with Sam to try and get some kind of access to the prison a few days ago, maybe the man will let him simply visit. He never got the chance to get a good read on Dream, and there was no better place than where they're both completely powerless.
"Hm, why not? Carl could use the exercise," Techno says, just as casual. Whatever was bothering him obviously wasn't severe enough for him to bother Phil, and Phil trusted that he would mention it if it was important, so he lets it drop in favor of gathering a small amount of supplies for the trip. They gear up silently, strapping up their horses and pinging Ranboo for his coordinates. Not bothering to wait for a response they head south. Few people still stuck around the central SMP, instead spreading out throughout the lands after L'manberg's destruction and Dream's imprisonment. If they couldn't find Ranboo around the lands they could just glance around the edges of Snowchester; Tubbo would never let them close but maybe they could spot Ranboo from afar.
They keep small talk during the trip, only about 45 minutes on horse. The conversation helps ease the tension in Phil's shoulders. They talked about meaningless things like the weather and cooking for the first time since joining this server, and it settled some guilt in his stomach. Being on the server did nothing but make Phil feel like an awful friend and father maybe he was, but the casual conversation with a good friend eased his worry.
They quickly approached the SMP, the lands looking rather unchanged. There are a few new buildings, most notably Tommy's hotel that he offered Techno a stay at. Phil smiled at the reminder of the both hilarious and heartfelt mail Tommy left them. Their fundamental ideals may clash, and Phil felt hurt on Techno's behalf for betrayal, but Tommy was still a good person at heart.
"I might stop and try and find Tommy while we're here," Phil muses, and Techno coughs to hide his choked noise of surprise.
"And why would you want to do that?" Techno chuckles.
"The kid's practically family, and I'm hoping maybe I can get him to see our side," Techno eyes Phil cautiously and Phil waves him off, "I'm not saying I'm gonna make you forgive him mate, I'm just saying maybe I can actually sit down with him and talk."
"When has that ever worked?" Techno laughs.
"When have we ever tried?"
They both fall silent at that. It's tense and heavy, and they both quickly fill it with more small talk, but it doesn't ease the tension in Phil's shoulders this time.
The tension only rises when he spots Sam standing next to Tubbo and Tommy's bench, watching the sun in the sky. It wasn't sunset or sunrise, why Sam was standing there was beyond Phil. It was a surprisingly nice day in the SMP, though Phil can see a storm out the very outskirts of the city.
"Hey, Sam!" Phil calls cheerfully. The two of them didn't talk much, but he respected Sam's dedication and they had friendly conversations before. That's why it was surprising to see how Sam's body tensed at Phil's voice. "Have you seen Ranboo?"
"...I think you should leave him alone for a bit, Phil." Sam's voice is hard, he still hasn't turned to look at him. Techno shares a nervous look with Phil.
"What's wrong mate?" Phil asks, concern evident. Techno is visibly uncomfortable next to him.
"Yeah, Tommy finally make you snap or somethin'?" Techno jokes, he never really knew how to handle emotional situations like these, "I know he's pretty annoyin' but-"
"Don't," Sam's voice is still harsh, but it's shaky as he snaps his head around. He looks positively seething, a faint hissing noise coming from his throat and tears running down his face. He doesn't have his usual gas mask on and Phil can see the now uncovered creeper scales around his jaw and neck. "Don't you dare talk about him like that."
Techno looks defensive at the aggression and before it can escalate, Phil steps between the two of them. It's awkward, with both hybrids towering over him, but his commanding presence causes them both to look at him. "Sam, what happened." His voice leaves no room for deflection.
"Tommy-" Sam chokes on Phil's son's name, a terrible sign that he doesn't want to fully think about, "he-, God. I couldn't secure the prison in time. He was stuck with Dream-"
"What, he annoyed him to death?" Techno just couldn't keep the sarcastic comment to himself. Phil could sympathize, Techno was obviously nervous and uncomfortable and completely confused on how to deal with a furious creeper hybrid that reeked of gunpowder. Sam, however, couldn't or didn't care to sympathize, and punches Techno square in the nose. Phil lets out a startled squawk as Techno stumbles back, hand already summoning his ax. Sam doesn't give him the chance to swing as he's shaking with anger and grief, all directed onto Techno and Phil.
"He's dead!" Sam cries out and Phil freezes, "Dream beat him to death and I had to sit and listen because that damned prison is still in lockdown from the explosions and now he's just rotting in that cell with Dream!" He takes a sharp gasp of air, coughing and choking on his tears. Phil can feel his own pouring down his face. "Fuck!-" Sam let out a scream as he punches the fences next to the bench, a small explosion popping with his knuckles. Phil still felt his feet glued in place. The three of them stand there, the silence only broken up by Sam's sobs.
"When?" Techno asks, voice uncharacteristically soft.
"This morning," Sam whispers back, "I went in to tell him that it might be longer than a week, I still can't figure out what happened and I couldn't-" Sam lets out a bitter laugh, "I told him Dream getting out wasn't worth the risk," Phil feels a confusing mix of anger, resentment, and understanding for Sam's situation sit in his gut, "He just went back to yelling and pissing off Dream but something about it- I don't know, something about the yelling changed," Sam's voice is barely above a whisper, "I went to go check the cams when it went silent. He was..."
"He was what," Phil says harshly, "I need to know, Sam, he was what."
"He was dead, Phil." There's no way to sugar coat it. "He was laying in his own blood. Dream beat him to death, probably blunt force trauma or brain swelling or a rib puncturing his lung that killed him," Sam sounds like he's reading an autopsy, numb, "He's still there. The prison is still in lockdown, I can't get into the cell until the security breach is dealt with."
"How do you know he's dead then," Techno snaps, "Can't get to his body, so how did you check that he's dead."
"He hasn't blinked, Technoblade," Sam's voice cracks, "his face was turned towards the camera and he was staring into it, staring at me and hasn't blinked in hours. He's laying in his own blood."
It was such an average day. Phil was talking about the weather not even half an hour ago. It wasn't raining or slamming down thunder or booming explosions or final duels. It was a sunny day with a slight wind chill and the sun was about halfway into the sky. It felt like Phil's world was splitting apart and it was sunny and he started the day talking about the weather. The kid he raised like a son, the kid Wilbur called a brother, was dead and the world didn't seem to care.
"Show me," Techno snaps again, his voice monotone once again.
"No," Sam replies instantly, voice dropping into his Warden Voice once more, "There's still a security breach at the prison, no one is allowed in or out except me." The three of them are quiet for a moment before Sam's gaze finds Phil's again, "...you shouldn't have to see another son's body." The statement slams in Phil at full speed and he's walking away before he can even process more.
"Phil," Techno calls for him, "Philza, let's go home." Phil just keeps walking. He never visited Tommy's home. The boy had mentioned once, when he was still living in their cabin, that he had an elaborate underground to his base. That the top was just a dirt shack because it was always being destroyed, so what was the point of rebuilding. Most of Tommy's things were always being destroyed. They won't have anything to bury him with.
He was in front of The Embassy before he could process it. Ranboo was there, too, hands digging through dirt in the ground and shoving flowers in its place. They're tulips. Ranboo's crying. There's a faint sizzling sound coming from the boy, but neither of them pay any mind to it as Techno catches up to Phil.
"Ranboo-" Phil starts but the boy instantly cuts him off.
"They're his favorite flowers," he spits the words out like they burn him, like if he doesn't say them now he will never get to, "he told me in Logsted."
"I know," that wasn't a lie, Phil genuinely remembered. He kept every fact about his boys close to his heart. He may have failed them later in life, but he held every memory and fact close to him.
"He never decorated because his stuff was always getting destroyed,"
"I know, let's go home," Phil reaches out for Ranboo but he shakes his head.
"No, I need to go help Tubbo," Ranboo wipes his tears, grimacing as the water stings, "he's- he thinks Sam is lying."
"And you don't?" Techno questions.
"Sam wouldn't lie, not about this," Ranboo sighs.
"I'll go find him," Phil offers, "you should head back home with Techno." Ranboo looks like he wants to argue. But he also looks exhausted. There's a seemingly permanent worry line on his forehead now, and his eyes are dull. He just nods his head and gets off the ground.
"Will you be okay?" Phil now asks Techno, who stares at Phil for just a beat too long for his nod to be convincing. They'll talk when Phil gets home, but for now, Phil sets off towards L'manberg's grave in the direction Ranboo pointed.
He crosses paths with Jack Manifold on his way there, finding him wandering around the crater as well. Someone covered the hole with protective glass. It made the destruction look like a museum exhibit, made it look like it was history instead of something that happened meer weeks ago. Or was it months? Phil missed when time was simple.
"Hi Philza," Jack greats with a curt wave.
"Hiya Jack," Phil greats back, not wanting to repeat his small talk from that morning. It felt disrespectful, in a way. They stare at each other for a while, neither saying anything.
"I'm sorry," Jack suddenly breaks the silence and Phil's brow furrows.
"For?"
"For Tommy,"
"...Well it wasn't you who killed him, was it,"
"It was going to be," now that got Phil to stop.
"I'm sorry?"
"I was gonna kill him," Jack says it so casually, so relaxed, that it gives Phil whiplash, "I guess Dream took that from me, too."
"I'm not the person you should be admitting this too, mate," Phil says with a warning tone, and Jack just shrugs.
"What're you gonna do? Kill me?" Jack says, nearly taunts, "All I was working for was getting my revenge, Phil. He's dead now. I don't have much to do."
They stare at each other again, Phil's shoulders at his ears and Jack so casually slouched. His posture was shit, he got that from Tommy. Phil continues towards where Ranboo pointed for Tubbo before Jack's voice stops him once more.
"I really am sorry," Jack says honestly, "he was my friend once, ya know?"
"...I know."
He doesn't wait to hear if Jack has a response.
It doesn't take long to find Tubbo after that, he's sitting on the very edges of the docks that had managed to escape the explosion. His thick fur boots are in the water, he didn't even roll up his pants. There's a smile on his face that doesn't reach his eyes.
"Hey, Tubbo," Phil sits next to him, legs crossed. Tubbo doesn't turn to look at him, just facing off over the water. "Whatcha looking at mate?"
"I'm watching for Tommy," Tubbo says so matter of factly it makes Phil choke.
"Tubbo-"
"I know what Sam said," Tubbo says with an almost playful annoyance. Like they weren't talking about his best friend's murder. "Sam's a liar. He lied about Michael. Tommy's not dead, he's too stubborn."
"Tubbo, I don't think Sam's lying this time-"
"He's lying."
"...Okay," Phil will get nowhere with this. He wants to scream at Tubbo and shake him sense and sob over his boy's death. But he's an adult and Tubbo is a child, he's learned to cope with deaths over hundreds of years and known peace for hundreds more. Tubbo has seen nothing but bloodshed since his 15th birthday, maybe even before that. He had to step up now. He'll let himself fall apart in the comfort of his own room while his sons haunt him, but for now, he stands and holds out a hand for Tubbo. "Let me walk you back to Snowchester."
"Are you gonna blow that home up, too?" Phil winces at the honest question.
"No, come on mate," Phil gives him a soft smile, hoping it looks caring rather than a grimace. He can see how dilated Tubbo's eyes are now that the boy hoisted himself up with Phil's hand. The normally bright eyes shining with intelligence are dull and glassy, near drunk looking. Tubbo holds his hand like a lost child as the two make the walk back to Snowchester. He sits Tubbo down on one of the beds in one of the many houses, the boy was too out of it to tell him which one was his, and Phil sends Sam a notice of where Tubbo is before heading back to where he left his horse.
On his walk through the SMP he sees a few people. He spots Quackity, who he was expecting screaming threats from. The man simply holds his gaze for a few seconds, before turning and walking in the opposite direction. Antfrost and Bad seemed to be carrying on with their nut-so egg cult thing, and surprisingly the demonic supernatural egg was the least of Phil's concern at the moment. Connor is talking to the Sam Nook robot rolling around the hotel, both of them chatting cheerfully about how excited Tommy will be about his first customer. It brings new tears to Phil's eyes.
The ride back to Techno's cabin is just as uneventful as the ride there. There's no storm, the one on the edge of the SMP hadn't migrated this far north yet. There's no screaming and wailing or dramatic speeches. Distantly he remembers how he was hoping to find Tommy in the SMP to talk with him about their differences. He won't get to talk to the boy again. He's at the door of Techno's cabin before he can register that he's arrived. He doesn't knock, doesn't bother. The reality of the situation is finally hitting him.
He finds Techno with his head in his hands on the couch, the man doesn't even bother to look up at him when he enters. Phil sits down next to him and tips over until he's leaning against Techno's side. Normally he wouldn't initiate the contact without telling Techno first, but now wasn't normally. He can't find his voice.
He sits next to Techno for god knows how long. The sunlight through the windows slowly dims until it's barely golden inside the house. The lighting is too soft, too kind, for the situation. Phil really wishes the world would get the memo that it's supposed to be falling apart at TommyInnit's death.
"Was Tubbo okay?" Techno asks suddenly.
"...No," Phil answers honestly.
"...Yeah, I figured."
They sit in silence again.
They spend the next days in silence. Phil loses track of the amount of sunsets he sees that he knows Tommy doesn't get to watch. He barely sees Ranboo now, the boy had almost completely moved to Snowchester to be with Tubbo. Occasionally he'll get a text from Sam updating him about the security situation at the prison. Neither of them mentions how if this goes on any longer they'll have to bury a rotting corpse instead of something that at least somewhat looks like his son.
It feels like the world was supposed to stop for TommyInnit because the boy always forced it to. But he wasn't here anymore to force the world to care, so it moved on and left Phil to find the pieces of his old life. Some nights he could swear he hears Wilbur and Tommy's voices echo in his head, laughter carefree and youthful. He supposes it's his comeuppance. His hands are trembling again.
Somewhere in a cold prison his son's corpse rots with his abuser. The day he realizes that it's one of the nicest days of the year thus far. The world moved on. Phil doesn't think he ever will.