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It was a warm night in The Forgotten Realms, only Grant, Terry Jr, and Nick staying with Walter as Peaden and the twins were in Oakvale. The three boys sat around a fire discussing the latest get away chase they’d endured. The Granddad’s hired bounty hunters were relentless, a reminder that their lives and their father’s lives could be taken at any moment. Nick sighed more dramatically than intended, earning looks from Terry and Grant.
“You ok?” TJ asked? His brows furrowed and his smile turned to a frown.
When can I escape the fading smiles, Nick thought, internally cringing at how emo it sounded.
“Yeah I’m good man, no worries!” He straightened his back and gave his killer pretend-happy face to sell it.
With a natural 20 insight, Terry wasn’t fooled for a second. “Sure... but I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
The conversation went back to motorcylce chases, then to how badly each of them would kill for some chicken fingers.
Later that evening when Grant rolled off to sleep, Nick and TJ found themselves alone outside, looking up at the stars.
“It’s so weird how many stars there are that you don’t know about because of the light pollution. Like, in San Dimas you could never see all of these, though I suppose these aren’t the same stars. Unless we’re on a different planet in the same universe as Earth and some of these are the same stars. Pretty weird to think about, huh? We’re among aliens.” Nick said, wishing his dad could hear. They’d probably talk about how sick Alien is and if the new one was any good.
Terry just smiled and let the words hang in the air for a minute or two. He took a deep breath, “My dad once took me on a camping trip so I would have some exposure to the real outdoors. But, he knew absolutely nothing about camping, and the weekend was a disaster. We pitched the tent wrong and got soaked by rain during the night, our food was taken by raccoons, and the car stalled out when we finally tried to go home.”
“Dang, that sounds like ass.” Nick replied, not sure how to respond.
Terry laughed a little, “It kinda did. But the one part I liked was seeing all the stars. My dad told me the whole trip was worth it for the stars.”
Nick fidgeted with his hoodie zipper, unsure of what to say. He didn’t want to come across as too dismissive or too sympathetic. This is why he never talked about his mom, it made things awkward. But the look of longing on terry’s face gave him a little bravery to share.
“My mom was obsessed with Astrology. She would always say shit about the stars knowing things. I don’t really know how much I trust all of it, but she had a book of zodiac charts for different people in her life. I would look at it sometimes and wonder about the different people. My mom’s family has like, a bunch of cancer genes or something and most of them are dead. So like, I haven’t met any of the people in the book. I don’t really understand what’s there, but seeing her writing is cool.” Nick stopped himself from rambling when he realized he was doing it. He would cry like a stupid baby if he said another word.
Terry put a gentle hand on Nick’s shoulder and asked, “How many funerals have you been to?”
It was a simple question with a simple answer and it was enough to break Nick open. The tears started running like a faucet, and his face was scrunching into something ugly. He covered his increasingly wet face with his hands and sobbed. Between his mother, her family, and his best friend, there were too many funerals he’d attended by the age of 12.
“Do you want a hug?” Terry asked quietly. A quick nod from Nick and TJ wrapped his arms around his friend. “Breathe deep with me, in, out, in, out.”
After he calmed a little, Nick broke the hug and wiped his eyes roughly. “Sorry about that, man. I didn’t mean to be a total bummer.”
“Life’s a total bummer, Nick. You’re allowed to be sad and cry about it. Especially when you’ve got a fucking dead parent.”
And with those words Nick started sobbing again. His mom was dead, his friend was dead, everyone was constantly dying. And his dad was an idiot who didn’t seem to take his mortality seriously. It scared Nick. Every time Glenn left on tour and Nick was alone with some nanny, the 12 year old would worry himself into panic attacks about if his dad was safe. Would he get alcohol poisoning or be arrested or hit by a car? Sometimes Glenn would take a couple days to call back, Christmas mall tours are relentless, and Nick would be alone with his thoughts. Alone with the fact that he was very alone.
“Hey,” Terry said, pulling nick back to the moment. Nick was hyperventilating and sweating through his hoodie. The darkness surrounded him, only stars providing a sprinkle of light. He began breathing in time with Terry’s counting.
It took 10 or so minutes until Nick felt ok again, but now his head was pounding and he needed to change. “Uh, thanks, by the way. I don’t really cry normally, so like, sorry about that.”
“Again, you don’t need to apologize for having emotions.” Terry said with a squeeze of the hand. “And Nick, I’m not going to leave you.”
A couple tears fell down Nick’s face, which he tried to quickly blink away. Terry hugged Nick once more, and the latter buried his face in TJ’s chest. They would go to bed in a moment, but for now it was just the two of them and a sky full of stars.
———————
Weeks later, when the when The Law’s sentence of Glenn Close rang true throughout the realm, that night would be erased from both of the boys’ memories.