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The first time Kotetsu proposed, was when he and Izumo had just graduated high school. It had been a bit showy and got them a free meal from the local restaurant they were at. Ko had gotten down on one knee and didn’t even stutter as he spoke and Izumo’s face flushed redder and redder. Izumo had laughed awkwardly and held his boyfriend’s hands in his as the restaurant cheered. He said yes but not now once the crowd had looked away. Izumo explained that while he absolutely wanted to marry him, he wanted them to focus on their future and education first. He said they were too young. Ko knew he was right so he nodded and put the ring somewhere safe still grinning like the fool he was.
The second time had been after they graduated college. Again, Ko got down on a knee but this time in their apartment without prying eyes. Izumo still blushed and Ko’s speech was less flowery but it still held all of the things he had said previously. Again, Izumo declined with mention toward focusing on their careers. Again, Ko nodded and put the ring away, grinning at his boyfriend’s flushed face.
The third time was when Izumo’s mother was ill and he had to postpone his masters. Kotetsu had just sort of brought it up one night when they were lying in bed together. He asked it like he was saying I love you. Izumo, will you marry me? Izumo had smiled and said, not right now and kissed his boyfriend’s forehead, I love you too but not right now.
The fourth was when Kotetsu got his masters. Drunk and a little too in the moment of being in love with his best friend, he asked with half slurred speech and half exclaimed declarations of love and adoration that made Izumo blush. Izumo tucked him into bed and placed a cup of water by the bedside and laughed. He told him to go to sleep before being pulled into bed by his arm to lay next to Ko.
The fifth time was two weeks after Izumo received his doctorate. He had presented his dissertation at the university and when he was invited back in and addressed as Doctor, he immediately reached for his phone to call Ko.
Ko had still been on the island finishing the season and preparing the headquarters for winter. Ko, of course, had been overjoyed for his boyfriend. When they met back up, they had a whirlwind of running around and meeting up with friends. Celebrating the news.
It was during the car ride to one of those events that Ko just placed the now well-worn ring box on Izumo’s leg.
“Zum, will you marry me?”
“Ko. We’ve talked about this.” Izumo stared at the box. He knew what the box felt like in his hands. He knew exactly what the silver band inside looked like. Knew what it felt like on his finger. Knew that Ko kept it in his travel bathroom kit so it was always on him. He knew because he had taken it out several times over the years and thought about being married. Played pretend. He thought about when not if. He wanted more than anything to marry Ko but something always made him say no. “You know I want to but,”
“But not right now. Yeah.” Ko’s voice was a little sad but he still smiled, “we’ve been together for nearly fourteen years you know.”
“That long already?” Izumo felt the weight of the small box on his leg as he gingerly picked it up and tried to pass it back to his boyfriend. Ko looked at it sadly as he took it back but said nothing more on the subject. Just put it back in his inner coat pocket and climbed out of the car to meet their friends. The night went fine. It was fun. The two of them acted like nothing was amiss. And nothing truly was. It was just as it always had been.
About a year passed after that when Izumo stumbled on the ring again. Ko had moved it to the back of their closet where he kept the odds and ends of his childhood in a box. It felt weird for it to be there among the faded action figures, a matchbox car, a few postcards, and the letters from his boyfriend’s distant relatives. Izumo had been looking for a photo Ko kept in there from when the two of them had started dating in Jr. High. It was a dumb and crappy quality photograph of the two of them covered in mud after rolling down a hill in a park. But Izumo never got over the pure joy on Ko’s face in it and it lessened the sting of him being so far away for the start of the pupping season while Izumo was stuck at their apartment preparing for his new job.
The ring sat tucked into the corner of the box. And Izumo realized with dread that only comes in afterthought, that he had messed up. Five times was a lot to ask someone to marry them. Five times was a lot of times to be turned down. Fifteen years was a long time to date someone and not know if it was actually going anywhere, despite the conversations they had about what they wanted from their future. All Ko had to go on was Izumo’s insistence that he wanted to marry him but that it wasn’t the time yet. And what really, was Izumo waiting for? Izumo’s phone buzzed in his pocket and made him jump. He put the box under one arm and saw a text from Iruka. Another followed shortly. Then another. Then another.
Save me.
So bored.
Was let out of the house for a doctor’s appointment but I don’t want to go back home to house arrest. I’m stuck there all week while Kakashi’s at a conference and Naruto’s off having fun with turtles and Kakashi's dogs.
Heeeelp.
The last one had a photo of Iruka’s foot in a walking boot. His crutches just in view. He looked to be in some sort of doctor’s office.
Izumo snorted,
Want to grab lunch?
Iruka sent back the prayer hands emoji. Which only made Izumo chuckle some more.
Izumo paused as he went to place the box back in the closet. Hesitating for a moment before he took the ring out and put it in his pocket.
Iruka and Izumo sat at a table in a small café near where Iruka had been at the doctor's.
“… been cleared to wear just the boot. They said the crutches should be used for long periods of walking though. Then I have to go back to see if it's healed enough to not need the boot.” Iruka finished his story before watching Izumo check his phone for the fifth time in ten minutes. “Hey, I know I am the one who wanted to do something but you’re the one who suggested lunch. You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
Izumo looked up and smiled apologetically. He had honestly been mostly checked out of their conversation, switching between re-reading the email about his new job offer and fidgeting with the feel of the ring in his pocket.
“Just a lot on my mind.”
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Great actually. I just heard back about a job at the University.”
“Teaching?”
“Yeah. I’ll be a professor. I did some lectures there during my masters and doctorate so it won’t be too big of a change.”
“That’s great! Congrats!”
“Yeah…” Izumo fidgeted again and looked at his phone.
Iruka gave him a concerned look, “But that’s not all that’s on your mind, is it? Is everything okay with you and Ko?”
“Hmm? Yeah. At least I think so...” Izumo looked up before grabbing his cup of tea just to have his hands do something, “I’ve actually, sort of, been thinking about proposing?” Iruka’s face lit up.
“When? How? Do you have the ring yet?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead. Probably soon. I’m visiting him and bringing supplies in a few weeks before the interns get there… I was thinking then.”
“Do you have a ring yet? Can I see it?”
“No, I don’t have it. Not yet.”
“Then the first thing you need to do is get a ring. We can go after this!”
“What? Now? So soon? I just decided to propose like three hours ago!” Izumo’s heartbeat quickened.
“Yeah, you have the rest of the day free and I can come help. This is exactly the type of distraction I was looking for. It will keep me from having to go home and give me something to think about besides sea turtles for the next few weeks. Besides, if not now when?”
Izumo’s hands tapped nervously against the table. He knew Iruka was right. He had already prolonged this long enough. Iruka smiled at him sympathetically, “It’s going to be fine. Small steps. Let’s buy a ring then work on a plan.”
Izumo nodded and took a deep breath. He could do this.
The pair entered their third ring shop in as many hours. Izumo was starting to feel even more overwhelmed with every interaction he had with a salesperson. For starters they all thought that Iruka was his fiancé and once corrected they didn’t even take a moment to look ashamed just quickly kept going, trying to make a sale. Like Izumo wasn’t even a person. Like he was just another number to be reached.
At each location, they had pulled out what felt like all of the rings the shop had and sorted through them trying to figure out what Izumo was looking for. And he had no clue. He knew very little about jewelry. He just knew it had to, well it had to be Kotetsu.
A small bell rang when they entered the shop. Izumo was relieved to see that the shop was a local jeweler and not one of the large chain stores they had just retreated from. Even Iruka who had started off with a good amount of energy was starting to look tired.
“Alright. So, no jewels because they will get lost and hold too much gunk. Has to be resistant to damage of just about all kinds. No too much gold, if any, because Ko doesn’t like gold.” Iruka listed off requirements as he started toward the first display case, his crutches clicking along the floor.
“And it has to look like something Ko would wear.”
“Right.” Iruka immediately moved on from that case when he saw it was all gold bands. The second case was a bit more varied. With some silver and some gold.
“What about those? They come as a pair so you can get the matching one.” Iruka pointed at a simple silver band in the back.
“Oh.” Izumo rubbed the back of his neck, “I already have a ring.”
“What? You bought yourself a ring but not Ko?”
“Uhh, no. Ko’s already proposed to me.” Iruka blinked, “...five times actually…”
“I’m sorry. Did you just say five times?”
Izumo nodded.
“And you didn’t say yes?”
“Well, I did but I also said no. The timing was never right.” Izumo tried to defend himself.
“Zumo, the timing will never be right.”
“I know. I guess I was just scared. I’m still scared actually.”
“I mean, that’s understandable but, poor Ko, you’ve turned him down five times? How long have you two been dating?”
“Ugh, I know. I know. That’s why I have to be the one to propose this time. And we’ve been dating for fifteen years.”
“Fifteen years.” Iruka looked into the distance, “That’s a long time. I’ve barely dated anyone longer than three years. Though this new one already feels like it’s been a lifetime.”
“You really like him?”
“More than I can even put into words.”
“I feel the same about Ko.” Izumo ran a hand through his hair, “Ruka what have I done? What if he doesn’t want to marry me anymore?”
“Then you’ll just have to propose again.” Iruka clicked his way over to another case, “And again. And again. And again.” Izumo huffed a laugh, as he went to join him at the new case. “What about this one? The black tungsten?”
“Maybe.” Izumo wandered around and glanced at a few of the display cases while Iruka perused that one. Seeing Iruka stand there for a bit, a woman came over and started to talk to him. He gestured over to Izumo who was looking at a small case of on-sale items. The two of them chatted amiably about what Izumo wasn’t entirely sure. His attention had been grabbed by a ring in the back of the case.
“Ru,” Izumo looked up at his friend and gestured for him to come over. He pointed at a Hammered Damascus Steel ring that still bore small indents in it from where it had been hammered out. The inside was layered with a wood lining. “This one.”
“It’s on sale too. Do you know if it’s his size?” Iruka looked at Izumo who shook his head. The saleswoman came over.
“Did we decide on something or do we want to take a look?”
“I’d like to take a look at this one please.” Izumo pointed down at it again, “The hammered steal one.”
“Oh! Wow. I can’t believe someone’s finally interested in this ring. It’s been here for almost ten years now. It was one of the jeweler's first pieces. He will be ecstatic that it’s finally going. I can probably even get him to knock the price down further if you’d like?” She pulled it out and placed it in a small tray for them to look at.
Izumo picked it up. The outside was cool but the inner lining was warm and soft. It wouldn’t get cold in the field. It wouldn’t get damaged, if, when he knocked it around on counters. And most importantly, it reminded him of Kotetsu. He slid it onto a finger, and while he didn’t know his boyfriend’s ring size he was fairly certain it would fit him. If not then well, they’d just have to try again. Together.
“That would be great. I am definitely interested in it.” Izumo smiled as the women went into the office to call the jeweler.
Half an hour later Izumo and Iruka exited the shop with an additional sixty-dollar markdown on the ring which Izumo had tucked snuggly in the old worn box next to the other one. They walked for a few minutes it finally sank in.
“Holy shit. Iruka. I’m getting married.”
“Well Ko does have to say yes first but, yeah, you are.” He smiled and smacked Izumo on the back of the leg with one of his crutches, “But try not to make the engagement last too long. I think the poor man’s waited long enough.”
Izumo laughed as the two of them walked down the street giddy with excitement.
Izumo tried to stick to the plan he and Iruka created. He really did. He had Kakashi teach him how to cook a dish specifically for that night. Bought a bottle of wine. Had a whole speech written and memorized.
He and Iruka had even spent a day and a half going through every possible outcome. Iruka being supportive and answering Izumo's panicked messages and phone calls no matter what time they were at.
But as he looked down at the burnt garlic still smoking in the pan, and as Kotetsu, who couldn't stop laughing at his boyfriend's astonished face, opened the slider to let out the smoke, he felt his resolve to see this through slip through his fingers.
He’d messed it up the minute he stepped foot in the building and Ko picked up on his distress.
It had been downhill from there. He spilled things. Dropped glasses. Tripped over his own feet. At one point Ko almost even found the rings while looking for something in Izumo’s luggage.
The ruined meal was just the last straw.
As the acrid smell of burned garlic filled Izumo’s senses and burned his eyes, he couldn’t help but start to cry.
He didn't know why he thought he could do this.
He couldn’t do this. Ko could. Ko had already done it five times. He didn’t deserve him. Why did he think he could do this?
“Zum?” Ko came over, his laughter stopped once he saw Izumo with his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. “Hey, it’s alright.” He placed a hand on Izumo’s back and rubbed small circles which only caused him to start crying harder.
“I messed it up,” Izumo said turning away.
“We can start over. It’s alright.” Ko tried to pull Izumo toward him.
“No, it’s not. I messed it up. I can’t do it.” Izumo fought against him for a moment before caving in and allowing himself to be turned and embraced by his boyfriend.
“It’s just dinner Zumo. We can just have something else. It’s alright.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. It’s just some burned garlic.”
“I’m sorry Ko. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey. Shh. It’s alright.” Ko kept rubbing Izumo’s back as he cried. They stood there like that until finally Izumo stopped apologizing and was able to stop crying so much.
“Do you want to tell me what this is really about?” Ko held Izumo’s face in his hands and wiped some of the tears off his cheeks. Izumo’s gaze flickered from his eyes to the wet spot on his shoulder which was covered in snot. He really didn’t deserve him.
“You’ve proposed five times.” Izumo knew it didn’t make sense. Knew it was out of context when Ko’s eyebrows pinched and he tried to guide Izumo’s gaze back up to his.
“And?”
“And I couldn’t even do it once.” Izumo started to cry again.
“Wait. You were trying to propose to me?”
Izumo nodded and closed his eyes as more tears came.
“I couldn’t do it, though. I messed it up.” Izumo felt Ko kiss his forehead and looked up to see his boyfriend wearing a shit-eating grin.
“Yes.”
“What?”
“Yes. Izumo, Yes.”
“But I didn’t even propose. You haven’t even seen the ring.”
“You got a ring?” Ko’s grin widened and Izumo nodded dumbly again. Ko just pulled Izumo into a not so gentle kiss before hugging him tightly. Then seeming to remember himself he pulled away holding Izumo by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “You’re sure?”
“Ko, I’ve never wanted anybody else. The only other thing I’m more sure of is that I love you.”
Kotetsu started to giggle. Then full-out laugh in a way that made Izumo start to laugh as well. Until they were both on the floor laughing out of pure joy. All of the nervous anxiety that Izumo had been holding onto for weeks melted away. When they finally calmed down and pulled themselves together, their burnt dinner forgotten, Izumo went to go get the rings. Ko followed closely behind.
Izumo took the small worn box out of his luggage and opened it up. He pulled the ring he picked out and turned to Ko, “I don’t know if it will fit but,” He took Ko’s hand and slid the ring on his finger. It was a perfect fit. “Kotetsu Hagane, will you marry me?”
“Yes.” Kotetsu smiled as Izumo leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips, “A million times yes.”