genre: angst, fluff.
words: 3.752
warnings: kise is an asshole, like a really mean asshole. a car accident, and a little physical pushing nothing too serious.
request: carinacassiopeiae said: Hiii i saw that you’re accepting requests for knb!! 😍 Um, i’d like a one shot (??) for kise please!! Like showing off his asshole side maybe where he has a fight with his s/o and says some terrible things to her (maybe wishing that they weren’t in a relationship in the first place, i dunno, up to you!!) so lots of angst!! but if it’s possible, to still make it hea? Thank youuu ❤️
(i do not own the picture, naturally. i own the edit though. the picture is from here.)
ryota has successfully reopened his old wound — his high school ankle injury as he fell down when a sharp pain overtook his leg from ankle to thigh.
he has been like this lately — clouded, cranky, unfocused. it was kagami who jogged up to him at once on watching him fall and offered a hand. ryota took the hand and stood up at once as if his ankle is not clearly twisted and in the wrong place.
“dude, be careful,” kagami reprimanded him before helping him to the bench.
the usual ryota would have thanked him with his signature smile but today all ryota did was nod at him, his eyes trained at his feet.
it’s not like the rest of the boys have not taken notice of this aura change in him, everyone has, painfully so, but no one has approached him yet because of just how much darker his aura has gotten day by day. they are not afraid of him, they are just uncomfortable with bringing up any topic of conversation in front of him. if they can, they would rather avoid him all day till the end of the practice.
after maybe a minute or two, ryota grabbed a towel as he wiped off the sweat from his forehead before heading towards the locker room.
‘y/n should be here. tending him and caring after his injury. but you are not.’ ryota’s jaw clenched as he changed swiftly before leaving the gym.
the moment he walked out of the gym, ryota was surrounded by his usual fangirls. he shot them a small smile all the while thinking, ‘she comes to see me everyday. also that blonde. hell even that brunette one is always out there in the crowd.’
letting a small sigh, he threw his duffel bag in the back of his car before ascending in the driver’s seat and driving away.
‘y/n should be home by now,’ ryota thought to himself as his knuckles clutched tightly against the steering wheel.
much to his dismay, he was welcomed by a cold untidy apartment. you are not one to leave things in a mess but today you had an early lecture to attend so you had run out of the apartment in a hurry all the while chewing on a piece of bread with some butter and jam slap-dashed on it which led to ryota waking up to an empty, cold bed, your side of the bed straightened out like you never lied down beside him. and to think that it has been four years since you two have been together.
ryota does not know how to feel about this honestly. is it his fault that you are not affectionate towards him? is he not likable, lovable? or is it just hard to love him because he is trying to be the best he can be for you but clearly you do not have the time to give him.
you were on your way now back from the café where you had a small hangout with two of your close friends while you guys discussed some study plans for the upcoming end semester exams. you checked your phone, it was still early in the evening so ryota might not have come back. lately he has been distant, he moves away from your touch and avoids looking you in the eye. today was the last day of your classes for this semester so you thought of doing something special for him. you quickly stopped by the convenience store to buy the ingredients for onion gratin soup, his favourite.
as you waited in the checkout line, your eyes fell on a couple and all you could think about is how happy they looked with each other. the laughter they shared, the intimacy that reflected in their eyes made you wonder — did you and ryota ever share any of that?
it was an odd match, you and kise ryota. you are not someone who is overly reserved but you were introverted compared to his outshining personality. you did not mind it because underneath it all he was nothing but a warm person, the warmth in his heart has time and again thawed the ice which had formed because of the issues you faced with your past relationships. he is special like that, he knows just what to say and do and is always the right amount of skinship, the perfect boyfriend and certainly not a copy in this sphere.
but lately you cannot find that ryota anymore, all you get under the outshining extroverted personality is a cocky person who is actively picking out fights with you. even at nights as you are lying by his side and you look at his peaceful peace deep in sleep, it’s like you cannot recognize him. and honestly, as the days go by, you are not sure why.
ryota entered the shared apartment after taking off his shoes and turned the lights on as the sun set over the roof of the buildings. the towel from when he showered in the morning was still lying on the couch where he threw it before getting dressed for the day. he had not eaten breakfast, usually you cook breakfast and you had been gone before he even woke up.
ryota heard his stomach grumble in hunger and headed for the kitchen directly when on turning the lights on, he noticed the dirty dishes and let a sigh.
soon enough, he heard the door of the apartment opening, announcing your much awaited arrival.
“welcome home!” you spoke out in a cheerful way the moment you noticed ryota’s shoes on entering the apartment but were met with an angry kise who appeared out of the kitchen, still clad in his practice garments.
“where were you?” ryota asked, he was fuming.
you shot him a confused look as you leaned down to take off your shoes, “at the university.”
“for so long?” he reiterated.
“yeah, i had some extra classes then i met up with mina and yuto and went to the convenience stor —”
“oh so you have found another outlet to shower your love?” kise cut you off.
‘is he doubting me?’
“excuse me?” you walked towards him placing the groceries on top of the coffee table.
“i never see you anymore, y/n. i wake up to a cold bed, an unwelcoming unorganized apartment. are you my girlfriend or just a roommate because you do not even come to my practices and last time you also missed our quarter final match.”
“yeah.. ryo i have been busy with university. also you do remember that your quarter finals was in seoul? i could not go because i had mid sem exam the day after.”
yes ryota knows, he also knows that his words sound so selfish and rude but he does not care, “i do not care! i expect you to be there. you are always fucking out. not with me though but always out, you do not have the time to even sit with me or ask me about my matches.”
“wh-what are you getting at ryo?” your voice stuttered as you took in his demeanour. it was scaring you which was something highly unusual.
you did not notice when he had advanced towards you until his hand came pushing on your shoulder causing you to fall down. oh he pushed you down, physically. you were still processing everything when ryota crouched in front of you and slipped his finger under your chin making you look at him, “look at me when i am talking to you.”
“i d-don’t understand ryo-kun,” your mind was in a whirlwind as you let a whimper, he was not hurting you but it were his words at jabbed at you like daggers.
“don’t call me that! you have lost the right. you know who comes to my practices? my matches? every girl in this godforsaken city other than my girlfriend. remember the brunette who glares at you every time when i winked at you during a match? even she comes to our everyday practices. where the fuck are you?”
“ry- kise kun, do you not want to be with me anymore?” you had tears in your eyes from the very fact that he compared you to someone else, someone whom he does not even know personally.
ryota let a sadistic chuckle, “i will admit, it would have been easier to get rid of you if you were not so beautiful,” the tip of his finger traced your jawline.
you locked eyes with him as you pushed his hand away in disgust, “did you just compare my love to my appearance?” glaring you stood up at once and rushed to your shared bedroom to grab your stuff. you were not going to stand in this apartment for a moment more than necessary.
“so now your solution is running away?!” kise’s yell boomed in the apartment as he followed you quickly, ignoring the pain in his ankle when he stood up from his crouching position.
“you are not the person i fell in love with! hell, i do not even recognize you anymore,” you stuffed your clothes in a suitcase, letting your tears fall.
kise grabbed your arm making you look at him, “oh so i am not the person you thought i was? well newsflash y/n, but neither are you!”
you tried to free your arm from his grip but it only tightened around your elbow.
you have had enough of his jabs, “you are a fucking self-centered asshole! i have given you everything kise. i used to travel hours in the local train for three years just so i could attend every single match, every single practice of yours. i gave up on my dream to go abroad and stayed back. i gave you my mind, my soul, my fucking body but all you can ever think about is yourself! you push me away when you lose a match and yell at me and the next moment you expect me to shower you with unconditional love. now that i think about it, did you ever even love me?”
ryota slowly let go off his grip on you, his towering figure taking a step back allowing you to get back to your packing. you finished quickly and headed towards the door at once. wearing your shoes you opened the door when you heard him again.
“if i loved you?” ryota chuckled again, his shock from your earlier outburst washing away, “if i loved you would i really keep you around? love is a weakness and i do not have weaknesses. thank you for leaving.”
you felt your heart clutching inside your heart as you took a deep shaky breath before finally exiting the apartment in a hurry.
your steps were sloppy, your vision blurry from all the tears but you managed to reach mina’s apartment, unharmed and in one piece.
“what’s wrong?” mina asked as she opened the door and took in your appearance.
your hands let go of your suitcase as you hugged her form, “i love him too much. i can’t watch him change anymore, i can’t do this anymore.”
“hey, what happened?” mina asked you, wrapping her arms around you to hug you back.
“i left him. i left kise ryota.”
“why? did he hurt you?” mina asked worriedly as she pulled away.
you shook your head, “physically? no. emotionally? no one can fix what he has done to me today.”
“what the fuck did this asshole do now? isn’t it enough for him that he gets to push you around like some pushover and then pull you back like you are his toy?”
you just cried harder, watching which mina sighed and regretted saying such harsh words to your visibly crumbling mental state.
she led you in her apartment and helped with your suitcase as you nestled into her bed, swearing to never leave this place for the next twenty-thirsty years maybe.
mina brought you some hot cocoa and started talking about anything other than kise ryota but all you could think about was kise ryota. you brought your knees closer to your chest, resting your chin on top of your kneecaps as your mind replayed all the moments that you have spent with your now-ex-boyfriend.
weirdly enough, all you could think about were the bad memories that you shared with him in the last year since you guys moved in together. was that a bad decision? were you guys not meant to be together? yes all your friends warned you that you and kise were an unlikely match and you just thought they were jealous of you both, were you friends correct? was it somehow your fault? you know you are not an overly affectionate person but you have a lot of love to give when it comes to kise and you are always working on fixing your love language. maybe it is not enough for kise ryota.
the moment the door closed behind you, ryota’s figure collapsed. he fell down, his body shaking as he brought his hands to cover his face. his breath was heavy and his vision was not clear either. is that you standing at the door? no, he is hallucinating.
a month later:
mina finally managed to get you out of the apartment and break your moping session after you planted yourself in her apartment when the semester ended. the new semester had started and you were skipping out on classes when mina finally had enough which led to her dragging you out to the university.
as the classes for the day ended, you just sat in the middle of the group in the university café as your friends talked among themselves, you stared ahead of yourself pointlessly, the talks just some static background noise. finishing your drink you excused yourself, you were feeling claustrophobic and let mina know that you were leaving. although mina wanted you to stay outdoors a while more but she understood your condition and let you go.
you collected your stuff and headed towards the door. you walked down the parking lot which lead to the bus station. you were rummaging your bag for your headphones when a familiar car took your breath away. it was kise’s car. the rational side of you knew it was not likely because what would he possibly do in your university? but the similarity was uncanny and you were not left confused for long.
“y/n,” ryota advanced towards you.
you stopped in your steps as your eyes took in his figure causing you to step back, “leave.”
“baby, please. talk to me,” ryota tried to get a hold of your hand causing you to hug yourself protectively.
“leave. i do not want you here,” you threatened him with a shaky voice, your eyes already filled with tears.
it broke ryota’s heart to see you like that and he really wanted to just hear your voice a bit more but he knew he had already hurt you enough so he backed away letting you run away from him.
ryota’s team had lost again. during the last quarter of the match, ryota turned back towards the stadium to look for you in the crowd and shoot you his routinely wink like you see this shot baby? this one’s for you but when he did not see your figure among the crowd it hit him that you were gone, gone from his life. his steps faltered and he missed the pass from kuroko causing the ball to get stolen by the opponent team. the score was already tied and this mistake cost them the match.
ryota had lost himself since you left him, he could not eat, he could not focus in practice. he does not even remember the last time he had slept properly.
he felt powerless as your figure disappeared into the distance. he caused this really. you guys were doing fine until he unnecessarily picked up fights. he pushed you away, he was standoffish, he was unpleasant to deal with and most importantly he stopped showering you with his love when he could clearly see that you were under tremendous stress and pressure from the university. you were one of the model students so naturally the university always had great expectations from you but you always managed to juggle everything from your studies to attending practices till the last few months when your own schedule became more hectic.
ryota should have understood it, right? any rational person would have but guess he’s too immature and does not deserve you.
he fished his phone out and dialed midorima’s number who had given him the advise to visit you in your university to talk.
“what?” midorima picked up after four rings.
“she told me to leave…” ryota trailed off, his voice barely audible.
midorima sighed, “when she told you to leave, you should have stayed.”
ryota had not realized that he was walking when he heard a horn of a car and stopped in his steps, “she does not want m—”
midorima stood up from his seat when he heard a car crashing, “kise?!” he yelled at the phone and when there was no reply he called 911 at once while also calling the rest of the members.
a week later:
in addition to his misplaced ankle that ryota never paid a mind to, he now had a few broken bones which had healed but he kept hindering his treatment. he was adamant on not getting healed. his argument? he does not deserve to heal after how he has behaved with you. he would often rip out his drip causing him to bleed out, or skip his medications.
it was akashi who had had enough now, he could not let his team break like this so finally he called you.
“hello?”
“it’s me, akashi.”
“senpai.. if this is about ryota, i don’t want to hear it.”
“he’s in hospital.”
“what!?” you almost shrieked in a library full of people as you got to your feet at once.
“yeah, he got into an accident after he saw you last week.”
“be-because of me?” you could feel your heart trying to beat out of your ribcage.
“just get here. please.”
it was unusual for akashi seijuro to say please but he knew very well that you both loved each other too much to be away for so long.
akashi did not have to repeat himself as you left for the hospital at once when he texted you the address and room number.
while on the way, you were in a rush but as you inched closer towards his room, your movements grew reluctant, you were not sure anymore if you wanted to see him.
you were still contemplating what to do in front of the room when aomine’s arm around your shoulder caught you by surprise.
“why are you standing here? come,” aomine said as he walked in dragging you with him.
“senpai wait —” you stopped as your eyes fell on ryota’s figure. his right arm was bandaged along with his right leg.
ryota’s gaze turned to you as you both locked eyes but neither of you dare speak a word.
aomine rolled his eyes, “bunch of idiots. if you are wondering what happened, your stupid boyfriend got into an accident but he is fine now, nothing serious. his injuries will heal if he lets them.”
you turned to aomine to say something but he beat you to it.
“yes, i said boyfriend cause come on, look at this loser. please collect him cause we are this close to kicking him out of the team.”
you watched as aomine left you both alone and turned to ryota again, your eyes wandering to his wrist which looked disfigured from the number of times he has ripped out his drips.
“what do you want?” you asked after gathering some courage.
ryota got up and advanced towards you, his arms in the air as he just wanted to touch you when your backing away broke his heart.
“no no no, i swear i am not going to hurt you,” ryota exclaimed helplessly.
you had not realized that you backed away but it was from instinct owing to the memory of him pushing you away last time.
you kept quiet, your eyes trained at your feet.
“i don’t want anything. i know i do a lot of wishful thinking but most of all, i just wish you would not hate me so much.”
there was a crack in his voice and you swore your heart skipped a beat because you have never seen him broken but you were at a loss of words too. just because he is broken does not erase what all he said to you, what he did to you.
“i don’t. i don’t hate you, kise ryota.”
ryota’s ears perked up on that like a puppy, color returning to his cheeks. he knew you had not forgiven him but it was start. a start that he would not trade for the whole world and more. he sat back down on his bed and tapped the place next to him. you walked and sat beside him after a minute or two and the both of you sat in silence but a lot of emotions were in the air and ryota promised to work harder just so he can proudly say one day that he rightfully deserves you and your love.
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.