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NOVEMBER 1ST: Or, Fuck The Atlanta Airport
I woke up at three in the fucking morning because my shuttle to the airport left at 4:15. The trip there was uneventful; the driver was super nice and good to chat with (I hadn't slept much but I was running on adrenaline and excitement and was thus Pretty Fucking Chatty), but there's not a whole lot more to say there?
Both my trip there and my trip back had layovers, fairly long ones--a two-hour layover in Atlanta on the way there, and a whopping three -hour layover in Minneapolis on the way back. I mention this entirely because this trip has left me with an intense hatred of the airport in Atlanta, for one reason:
IT'S TOO FUCKING MASSIVE.
It was two goddamn miles from the terminal I got off at and the one I departed from. That's not an exaggeration. I had to get wheeled to the "Plane Train" (that is seriously what it was called and ngl that is the one thing I liked about the airport) because my fibro-and-arthritis-riddled ass was genuinely not capable of walking that far, especially since I think my plane there must have arrived a bit late--the layover felt a lot shorter than two hours, and by the time I got to the Plane Train (TM) I only had forty minutes before my flight departed. Thankfully the Plane Train (TM) got me there pretty fast, so I wasn't in too crazy a hurry to board.
The flight to Atlanta was surprisingly okay. I'd been assigned a middle seat, and my autistic ass gets Super Fucking Anxious when I'm squished between people (concerts are the Spiders Georg of social situations tbh), but the lady who'd been assigned the window seat in that row very generously let me switch with her. (Thanks, Nice Lady I Got Seated Next To On The Plane From San Jose To Atlanta!) The plane was p fancy--it had a fair bit of legroom even in economy class or coach or whatever it's called, the cheap seats, you know the ones I mean, and there was a screen you could watch some shit on (including being able to view the plane's trajectory on a map and seeing the distances and ETA and such, which I liked) and a USB charging port above the tray table in front of each seat! So that was nice.
The plane to Buffalo was a lot less fancy, but I got an aisle seat and it was a much shorter flight, so it didn't matter so much.
My friend Justin picked me up at the airport. I've known him since I was twelve --we met on the Homestar Runner Wiki Forums, and we both got into TMBG through H*R--and he's just as rad in person! We then set off on our journey to the greater Toronto area, stopping at Tim Horton's to get me a snack and him a coffee and at Little Caesar's to get pizza and Crazy Bread (which is SO GARLICKY I ADORE IT OMG) for us and his spouse, Katie, who we were staying with--he's currently still living in New York, but he's going through the immigration process and soon they'll finally be able to live together!
The one hiccup on our miniature road trip was crossing the border--the border dude was kind of a dick in general, and he didn't seem to believe me when I said that yes, I did fly all the way from California to go to a concert. :/ Ah well, we got through eventually.
I'd never met Katie before or interacted with her online a huge amount beyond being Facebook friends, but she was super nice and cool! She also had a cat, Louis (or is it Louie? Idk man), who is A LITTLE SHIT but also absolutely adorable, and we all chatted and hung out before we all headed to bed. I had a long day ahead of me!
NOVEMBER 2ND: Or, A Meeting Someteen Years In The Making
I will say that Friday did not get off to a terribly auspicious start.
I had arranged to meet Jessa (AKA my distant cousin), who I hadn't seen IRL since I was 17, at 11 AM, but unfortunately, despite Justin accompanying me due to my complete and total lack of familiarity of the Toronto area's transit system, we ran into some snafus getting there. The bus was late getting to Toronto due to traffic, we got a bit lost at one point, I had a bit of a meltdown...yeah. (The one nice thing: Justin ran into a friend of his PURELY by chance at the subway station, and I got to chat with her and her friends for a bit--they were all really nice!) I did eventually make it there...around noon. Fortunately, Jessa was super understanding, and we proceeded to have an AWESOME time having a good talk and wandering around Kensington Market!
A probably-incomplete list of Highlights (TM):
- We got Jamaican curries for lunch! I got curry chicken, they got curry goat. The chicken was SO FUCKING GOOD and I tried a bite of theirs as well, which was also delicious!
- Speaking of delicious, we went to a shop that they frequent that sells a zillion different flavors of popcorn. They let you sample them, and they offered to buy me a bag (partly, I think, since I'd smuggled a big-ass bag of Paydays across the border for them—they’re their favorite candy ever but they don't sell them in Canada, much to their despair) of any flavor I chose. I sampled a bunch, and they were ALL delicious, but I eventually settled on s'mores! It even has little cocoa marshmallows in it!
- Also speaking of delicious, we swung by a coffee shop and chilled (well...warmed up, more accurately, haha). I got a hot mulled apple cider, which we agreed was ABSURDLY tasty (and it was delightfully warming without being scalding). They decided to try their regular ol' coffee for a change, and we were both pleasantly surprised at how tasty it was! It actually had a flavor beyond bitterness and despair without being actively flavored!
- On a non-food-related note, we went to a head shop/weed-themed gift shop that had some incredible shit. I am only very vaguely ashamed that I spent 45 Canadian dollars on a Rick And Morty coloring book and a stoner Harry Potter parody. Also they had these knit weed-pattern leggings that were actually legit cute and looked SUPER comfy, but those were pricey and I doubt they would've fit me anyway. ALAS.
- We also went into possibly the best vintage store I've ever been to. It was MASSIVE and they had so much cute stuff, I would've bought the whole store if I could I s2g. (Neither of us bought anything, but we had a blast poking around!) Also there was a mannequin in a Poison Ivy costume wearing weed glasses and I think that's beautiful.
- Another store we popped into: a really cool game shop, focusing mainly on used and retro games and some TCGs (but primarily video games)! They had SO much cool stuff, it was really fun to browse! The people working there were super nice too--I didn't feel creeped on or talked down to, which is always a bit of a concern I sometimes have with game shops (despite mercifully never having had such an experienced that specific scenario myself), and they were just really friendly without being, like...overbearing, if that makes any sense? We chatted with them intentionally a bit, but the only time an employee actively approached us was shortly after entering, and that was just the standard "let me know if you need help finding anything" thing, which I totally understand and appreciate.
- We saw some really fat pigeons and they were SUPER unafraid of humans. There is no fucking way that they aren't getting fed constantly by friendly humans. We apologized to them for not having food, before noting that they're probably getting fed more than enough.
- At one point I tried to say "Niagara Falls" and it came out as "Viagra Falls" and we both laughed our asses off about it for like, a solid few minutes.
Jessa and I parted ways around 4 PM, and I spent a good hour or so just chilling on my own and charging my phone, which was nice because I'm an introvert and I really did need to recharge myself a bit before a long night of fun, fellowship, and song. Around 5, I finally got to meet another friend from the HRWF: Courtney! We all went to a ramen place for dinner, and I've gotta say, it was fantastic. The only problem? The portions were insanely huge.
I ate about half of mine, but I loved every bite and only stopped because I was getting uncomfortably full. I also got a taro bubble tea, which was delicious as well!
And now we get to the most important part of the night: the show.
We got there roughly half an hour before doors--which, a bit unusually in my experience, wound up being early enough for us to get decent spots, despite the show being close to sold out. Not great spots--one of the big speakers was kind of in our way--but near the front and close enough to the side of the crowd that I was able to peace out for a break during the intermission.
The show was, of course, fantastic in its own right--a killer set, complete with some of my absolute faves (just off the top of my head: All Time What, Let's Get This Over With, Ana Ng, The Communists Have The Music, Damn Good Times, Museum Of Idiots, Authenticity Trip, Let Me Tell You About My Operation...)--but for me, one of the best parts was being there with Courtney, because she'd never seen them live before! (Justin had seen them once, but they hadn't played Ana Ng that time, and he was VERY happy that they did at this show!) She had a great time and I was so fucking happy .
Highlights of the show itself:
- A joke about the Dalton (I think?) Nuclear Power Plant, which wound up being referenced much later in the show during the ever-changing and ever-ridiculous spoken-word parts of Why Does The Sun Shine? (this is only the case live, but it makes it incredibly fun live because it's NEVER done entirely the same).
- John Linnell saying (also during Why Does The Sun Shine?) that the sun is 93 miles away as opposed to 93 million miles away. (He said this again the next night and it was just as funny then.) Actually, literally everything he said during those portions.
- It was noted at one point that Flans accidentally put Twisting on the setlist twice.
- John Flansburgh: "This show is only for SEXY PEOPLE."
- "We don't like other audiences."
- They brought out the glockenspiel for Shoehorn With Teeth, and only for Shoehorn With Teeth, after which it was taken back offstage. Every time Marty hit it, the crowd went fucking apeshit. They played it the next night too, and once again, the crowd began cheering like mad when Marty hit the glockenspiel. It was wonderful.
- Flans held up the Lincoln remaster vinyl, clearly intending to talk about it. He then proceeded to go off on a tangent and not discuss it at all.
- "GUY IN THE IFC SHIRT...YOU'VE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DOOOOOOOO...GIRL IN THE GREEN DRESS...YOU, RIGHT THERE...YES, YOU...THANK YOU FOR COMING TO THE SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW~"
I was very grateful to be able to sit down during the intermission, because my legs and feet and lower back were FUCKING MURDERING ME and I desperately needed to be able to sit for a bit.
The one major bummer of the night is that our other friend, Hilary, who I don't think any of us had met in person yet and who was at the show, wound up having to leave early because her boyfriend had a bad migraine, and we never crossed paths. SOMEDAY.
When I got my cheeseburger backpack and winter coat back from coat check, the guy handing me the backpack in question said, "Here's your steamed ham!" I started laughing my ass off, because I fucking love the steamed hams thing. His coworker informed me that he'd been waiting to say that all night.
After the show, I stepped out of the venue for a smoke while Justin and Courtney poked around the merch table (they both got tour shirts--I got one the next night). I sat down on a little retaining wall thing and lit up, and shortly thereafter I heard someone next to me say, "So is that cigarette regular, or 'special'?"
IT WAS............................AMBER!!!!!!!!!!11
We were able to discuss logistics for the next day, which was very good. She left shortly thereafter, and I spent a good like...ten minutes looking for my HRWF pals. Turns out they'd been right outside the venue the whole time. :P (I've got some degree of faceblindness going on, and Courtney had changed into her new shirt, so I got confused and wasn't sure if it was them until they approached me, WHOOPS.) I was so tired and sore, but it was a great night.
After parting ways with Courtney at the train station (but not before a group hug!), Justin and I took the bus back to the apartment. We didn't get there until like, 12:30, and we spent a good hour awake chilling with Katie and her mom, who was SUPER cool. Eventually, though, we did get to sleep.
NOVEMBER 3RD (and 4th): Or, The End Of The Tour (Except They Didn't Play That One Alas)
I woke up before the rest of the household on Saturday, at the wee hour of...around 8 AM, actually. (We'd all been up all night doing stuff, of course we were all pooped!) Of course, at some point after everyone else was up (I think around 11), I fell back asleep...which was a minor issue, because Amber was due to pick me up at noon. Thankfully, my mom had grown a bit worried about me, as I wasn't answering my phone, so she called Justin, who reassured her that I was fine and had just fallen back asleep, and he woke me up in enough time to actually get ready.
CRISIS AVERTED!
Anyway, Amber was there around noon, as promised. We swung by Tim Horton's for food and caffeine (I swear, I'm going to miss those waffle breakfast sandwiches so much --they're like McGriddles but INFINITELY better), and then we went off on our little detour to Niagara Falls!
It's difficult to adequately describe how awesome the falls are in person. Photos really do not do them justice--then again, that's the case with so many awesome things, isn't it? Anyway, here are some photos regardless...or there would be photos here if AO3 would let me paste them in. I need to add them. I’ll do that later. It’s fine.
Once we'd gotten our little detour out of the way, we set off for Buffalo, where we checked into the motel and chilled for a bit before we drove off to the venue. While at the motel, though, Amber gave me some sick-ass presents she crocheted--a little TMBG skull and A PURBLE!
We got there HELLA early, and decided to wait in the car for a bit, because it was cold as balls outside. Around 5:45, over two hours before doors, Amber's friends Ana ("with one N, like Ana Ng!") and Jade, who are also my friends now because they are both super rad, texted her to let her know they were in line, so we joined them. Yes, it was frigid out, but we didn't care. We wanted good spots.
We all hung out (along with another girl, Kim, whose Facebook I sadly forgot to get), and Justin, who was also attending the show, happened to arrive not too long after us, and was quickly absorbed into our little group! He wound up getting delicious pizza, which he shared with anyone who wanted some, and Ana and Jade went off to Starbucks to get us all warm beverages--which, given the fact that we waited there for so long, was a VERY much appreciated gesture. (I got a salted caramel latte, because I love salted caramel so much , okay.)
A few of us had been under the impression that doors were at 7 rather than 8, and this led to a great discussion of how we were going to get in if they didn't open up soon:
"Fresh (one of their roadies) is gonna come out with a crowbar, and he's gonna smash the glass and we'll all crawl in through the hole."
"No, Marty's going to come out with his drumsticks and smash the glass!"
Anyway, around 8 we got into the venue, as had actually been promised, and I went to buy a tour shirt and a license plate bracket for when I someday get a car. Unfortunately, I left my ticket at the merch table, which led to a massive panic attack--the show was sold out, so had my ticket actually gone missing I'd be SOL. Thankfully the nice merch lady still had it! (Thanks, nice merch lady!) So all was well.
Us getting there hella early paid off, as we were able to get some of the best spots in the house, at the very front. The stage was relatively low and there was a little metal fence of sorts around it, which I spent a good portion of the show leaning my sore body against, which meant we got a FANTASTIC view of the band! We were also directly under a FUCKING MASSIVE disco ball, and we began joking about what would happen if it fell.
"Maybe it'll fall and kill us."
"Yeah, but what if it just falls and injures us? Then maybe Flans will show up at the hospital with t-shirts."
"Cool, sounds good to me."
The setlist was somewhat similar to the night before, but not identical--and once again, they rocked and played many of my faves! The big highlight for me was that they played Experimental Film, which was Baby Acey's First TMBG Song! Not gonna lie, I may have teared up a bit at that one. Legit the ONLY bummer about the show was that they did not play The End Of The Tour, which I'd really been hoping they'd play. OH WELL, it was still amazing.
Some more highlights of the evening:
- I noted in line that I kept getting mildly confused when Ana was referred to by name, because while her name is spelled differently from my real name, it's pronounced identically. Amber pointed out that it was even worse with her and the other Amber in the TMBG fandom circles we hang out in (who was not there but who is also very cool), which I had to concede was fair.
- Flans: "We are ARTISTS, and we are SENSITIVE about our SHIT."
- EXPERIMENTAL FILM, THIS BEARS REPEATING
- The disco ball lowered eventually. This led to my group continuing the "what if the disco ball lands on us" conversation, obviously. (SPOILER ALERT: It did not land on us.)
- We also discussed my plans to cosplay the girl from the cover of John Henry, and one person suggested that I could probably get a plastic pickaxe intended for a miner costume, which led to me joking about a "sexy miner" Halloween costume. I realized how incredibly awful that sounded the moment it exited my mouth (FUCKING HOMOPHONES, MAN), and we all had a good laugh.
- Marty (I think it was Marty?) gave me a setlist after the show; however, I ended up giving it to Justin, as I already have a setlist from a show in 2015 and he had really been hoping to nab a setlist. He was overjoyed!
- I had the pleasure of meeting Dan (and Marty again!), which means I've now met EVERY PERMANENT MEMBER OF TMBG. Like...holy shit, how awesome is that? They were both really nice and friendly, too, proving my hypothesis that literally everyone in TMBG is Good People.
- Flans gave me a TMBG sticker!
I would argue that the Buffalo show was, in many ways, even better than the Toronto one, for reasons I can't really explain. That's not to say that the Toronto show wasn't mindblowing--it absolutely was--but the Buffalo show just felt special somehow. It might have been the best TMBG show I've ever been to.
After we'd gotten our autographs and stickers, Amber and I drove back to the motel, where, worn out from a fun but long day, she fell asleep pretty much immediately; likewise, I fell asleep as soon as I'd finished packing. I didn't even wear my pajamas to bed--I just wore the outfit I was going to wear the next day.
Of course, that night was Daylight Savings, and I was three time zones ahead of my parents. I'd asked my parents to call at 4 AM Eastern to wake me up.
Unfortunately, my dad not only thought he was supposed to call at 3:30, he forgot it was Daylight Savings there already , which meant I got woken up at 2:30. He felt pretty bad about it, bless him, but I understood. Unfortunately, though, I just...couldn't get back to sleep, so I boarded my flight the next morning on maybe two hours of sleep, tops.
I spent the entire flight to Minneapolis, my layover city, sleeping. God knows I needed it.
I should note that the Minneapolis airport is super nice, and had some genuinely cool shops, as well as tables with wall sockets attached to a small restaurant at the gate I was flying out of. That was pretty nice, and it was a whopping three-hour (!) layover, so I appreciated having some time to relax.
The flight home was marred by some of the worst turbulence I've ever experienced. Like, I was genuinely scared. Thankfully, we landed safely in San Jose, and...well. That was that.
That was the end of my journey. And it was all worth it.