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Sometimes, Alice thought she was too reliant on Sanae.
Not for everyday things, of course. Alice could make her own food when she felt like eating, and could brew her own tea when she was in the mood. She was a youkai, anyways— the need for food was beyond her.
No, Alice had come to rely on Sanae for company. The girl from the outside world had plenty of fascinating stories, after all, and was far less boisterous or arrogant than some of her other companions. Spending extended amounts of time with Marisa or Patchouli often left her with a headache, but Sanae was different.
Why she was so different, Alice couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Certainly, she was quieter than Marisa, and wouldn’t even think of uttering insults disguised as advice like Patchouli would. But even so, Sanae made her feel… strange. It was something Alice hadn’t experienced for a long time, if at all.
From the first time she met Sanae, the two of them had been regularly meeting up to talk. It had become a weekly occurrence— when Alice asked about whether or not Sanae had duties to be attending to as the Moriya shrine maiden, she would always laugh and insist her duties had been done to perfection. Sometimes she’d then launch into a story about the recent incident she’d helped Reimu and Marisa with.
There were occasions where Sanae was late, or wouldn’t show up at all to their agreed time, of course. Alice never found herself worrying much, though. She’d pay a visit to the Moriya Shrine, and there Sanae would be, busy with some new scheme that Kanako had cooked up.
It was unusual, then, for Sanae to be late and then for her to not even be at the Moriya Shrine when Alice decided she’d had enough of waiting. The Moriya Shrine was quieter than usual— all of Gensokyo was, as if holding its breath, suspenseful.
“Oh-ho, the puppeteer?” a voice came from behind Alice after she’d barely landed on the ground. Well-accustomed to the three inhabitants of the Moriya Shrine, she knew who’d spoken to her before even catching a glimpse of a frog-like hat. “Looking for Sanae?” Moriya Suwako continued, standing by the shrine’s torii and watching Alice with a smile she couldn’t quite read the intention of.
“I apologise for visiting without warning,” Alice chose to reply, glancing around while towering above Suwako. “But Sanae was supposed to visit me yesterday. I know it’s a bit early in the morning to visit, but perhaps—”
Alice was cut off by Suwako groaning. “She didn’t tell you before she left, huh?” the god sighed, placing a hand on her hip. Though her face was pinched together in a frown, Alice had the feeling she was more amused than she was irritated. Talking to a god was much more bothersome than Alice remembered.
“Tell me what?” she asked, frowning. Surely if something important had come up, Sanae would see fit to inform her before leaving? But then again, if she was pressed for time, then obviously she could explain to Alice later why she hadn’t shown up.
Despite her rational reasoning, Alice couldn’t help but pull the strings that commanded Shanghai and Hourai taught— worry seizing her heart.
“There’s another incident going on,” Suwako explained after a brief moment of tense silence. “That quack in the bamboo forest seemed pretty shaken up about it, considering she sent that rabbit out to Sanae with some weird medicine and then sent them to space or something. She’s still not back.”
An incident. Of course. Alice stopped listening, as Suwako continued explaining the events that led to Sanae assisting in ending the new incident that had arisen. Or perhaps she wouldn’t be ending the incident— if she was sent to space, wasn’t that bad? Sanae was powerful, but she was still at least somewhat human, right? Even as an arahitogami, it was—
“I’ve heard enough,” Alice murmured, turning on her heel and raising into the air. “Thank you for informing me of this, Suwako.”
Perhaps she’d been too curt. But at that moment, Alice forgot about her manners completely. Not waiting for a reply from the god, she took off as fast as she could into the sky; an ugly, uncomfortable feeling stabbing at her gut as she flew back to her home in the Forest of Magic.
What if something happened to Sanae? Was she all alone in space? If she got hurt in a danmaku fight— no, if she was fighting the Lunarians or something, would they… even use danmaku?
What if she died?
Pushing the thoughts out of her head, Alice pushed herself to fly faster; the wind drying her eyes before tears could form.
Time ticked by, and glancing at her old, weathered clock, she could see that it hadn’t even been five hours since Alice had paid a visit to the Moriya Shrine. Despite that, though, Alice felt as if she had been waiting her entire life.
When did her life devolve to this, she wondered as she absentmindedly started on another dress for Hourai. The remains of several failed attempts at making doll clothing littered her work table; shirts with mismatched sleeves, skirts far too small for her dolls to wear, and dresses that were falling apart at the seams.
No matter what Alice did, she simply couldn’t take her mind off the idea that she might never have a chance to see Sanae again. Incidents in Gensokyo were dangerous, but outside of Gensokyo, there weren’t any spell card rules to keep humans and youkai alike alive.
Despite this, Sanae had set out. Always eager to help, Alice supposed. It was one of the things she found endearing about Sanae, after all.
Sighing shakily, Alice put down her sewing needle and fabric. She didn’t want to waste everything she had in her house, and her hands were trembling. She’d get nowhere at this rate, and she honestly didn’t feel like sitting around much more.
She’d played with the idea of seeking out Yagokoro Eirin, just to find out the true nature of the incident, but hadn’t managed to gather the courage to set foot out of her house. What if she was faced with tragic news? Surely she wouldn’t, surely Sanae was strong enough to handle everything that was thrown at her, but…
There was always a chance.
But she had to know. Surely Eirin would know something, right? Suwako had mentioned her, after all, so even if she wasn’t the mastermind behind everything, then she’d at least have some answers.
Standing to her feet, Alice took a moment to steady herself. She knew she cared about Sanae— she wasn’t a heartless youkai, she cared about Marisa and Patchouli, and all the others she’d befriended over the years of being in Gensokyo.
But her heart never raced when Reimu or Marisa were tangled up in an incident. Her hands never trembled when Patchouli fell ill. Maybe it was because those things were much more common than Sanae being missing for a day or so. But still… the sort of feeling she felt towards Sanae was confusing. If Alice wasn’t familiar with herself, she’d almost say the feeling terrified her.
But she wasn’t terrified. She was Alice Margatroid, and she would have her answers.
Steeling herself, Alice pushed her legs to move; tugging her strings to bring Shanghai and Hourai to her side in preparation for a danmaku match should it come to that.
Every step she took towards her front door, Alice felt the confidence she’d built up slowly crumble. What would she do if she was faced with bad news? Surely she would be able to take it, right? Even if she wasn’t an unfeeling youkai, she wasn’t so fragile that she would collapse in grief at the worst news.
Either way, she couldn’t just stop halfway. With her remaining mettle, Alice flung open her front door.
Sanae, fist in the air, gasped at the sudden appearance of Alice. The both of them froze— the silence between them only broken by the soft sounds of the forest. Alice didn’t hear them, though; completely focused on the girl in front of her. Clearly, she’d only returned from the incident recently. Her clothes had some tears in them, and her hair seemed as if it had been tossed about in the wind. Quite obvious signs of a danmaku match.
“Um… hello, Alice!” Sanae tried with an awkward smile. “Suwako-sama mentioned that you were looking for me, and it kind of slipped my mind that we were supposed to meet when I saw those giant spider-like machines, and—”
Sanae’s ramblings were cut off as Alice surged forward and grabbed both of her forearms with trembling hands, the last of her confidence crumbling as she clinged to Sanae as if she would fade into nothing if she let go. “You idiot! You rushed into such a dangerous incident without thinking! Do you have any idea how worried I was?! You didn’t even say anything, you just—!”
Alice found herself unable to say anything more, as Sanae’s lips crashed against her own. The tears that had been welling up as she raised her voice slowly dried up— Alice too stunned to bask in her anger and misery.
Slowly pulling back, Sanae offered a small smile. “Sorry, Alice, I couldn’t get a word in… and I’m sorry I worried you. I’ll explain everything, if you let me?” she asked hesitantly, as if Alice wouldn’t give the world for a little more time together with Sanae.
Wordlessly, Alice pulled back and stepped to the side, allowing Sanae to enter her house. Her fingers lingered on her lips for a moment as Sanae passed by, letting herself bask in the feeling that surged forward in the moment of the kiss.
After a moment of finally being able to name what she felt for Sanae, Alice followed her in, and shut the door behind her.
“So you stopped the Lunar Capital from invading Gensokyo… by stopping the Lunar Capital from being invaded?” Alice asked as she served another cup of tea for Sanae. The shrine maiden seemed to find the black tea relaxing, as she slowly untensed her shoulders throughout the story she told.
“I know it seems strange, but that’s really what happened. Well, I guess it isn’t too strange by Gensokyo’s standards, but seeing a civilisation on the moon is really… you know?” Sanae giggled softly, hands wrapping around the tea cup as if it were a mug.
Alice didn’t, in fact, know what was so strange about the concept of the Lunar Capital. But instead of commenting on that, she chose to sigh and take a sip of her tea. The events of before left her feeling slightly flustered… and also guilty. Reimu, Marisa, and Reisen were also in space alongside Sanae— and according to her, Reimu had been stubbornly against taking the medicine that Eirin provided the four of them. And yet here Alice was, worrying solely about Sanae’s wellbeing.
Well, of course, she knew the reason for that.
“So then,” Alice started, placing her tea cup back on the saucer before looking up at Sanae. “The incident has been completely resolved, I take it?”
Sanae puffed up with pride, beaming at the puppeteer. Alice’s heart skipped a beat. “Of course! I’m a pro at this stuff now, Alice!” After a pause, she deflated slightly and laughed sheepishly. “But don’t worry, I won’t try to get into any more dangerous stuff. It was pretty stressful, seeing flashes of yourself dying.”
Alice could relate more than Sanae likely assumed she could.
“No, I should have trusted in you more, Sanae,” Alice sighed, dropping her gaze and smiling at her tea. “You’re not weak, and I know this. I’m sorry for panicking like I did earlier,” she continued, surprised at how genuine her words sounded.
Chancing a glance up, it seemed Sanae was startled as well. “No, no, you don’t need to apologise, Alice!” she insisted, her cheeks going pink. It was cute. “I’m the one that went off to solve an incident without warning, after all,” Sanae emphasised, averting her gaze.
An awkward silence settled between the two. Alice took a deep breath, knowing that one of them had to bring up the topic of what had occurred earlier.
“Sanae,” she spoke, causing the girl in question to jolt and sit up straighter. Her blush had disappeared, to Alice’s disappointment. “About what happened earlier… is it possible that you—”
“I’m so sorry!” Sanae exclaimed, bowing her head so far that it almost made contact with the table they were seated at. Alice reached out, about to tell her to stop apologising, when Sanae continued. “I just, I really needed to tell you that I didn’t mean to make you worry so much, and I really— I mean, it’s just, I…”
Sanae trailed off, and Alice took the opportunity to reach out and take one of her hands in her own. Sanae raised her head; her eyes shining with tears. She looked so vulnerable, and Alice hated that she’d caused this with her unnecessary worry.
“How do you feel about me, Sanae?” Alice asked, squeezing her hand gently. It seemed to be enough encouragement, as she slowly sat up straight and took in a breath.
“I… I’ve really liked you for a while, Alice,” Sanae murmured, so quietly that Alice might not have picked it up were she not listening properly. “It’s… no, this is definitely more than just liking you. At some point, I must’ve fallen in love with you. I’m sorry for forcing my feelings on you like I did earlier, Alice, I—”
Sanae was cut off by Alice leaning over the table, and drawing her in for kiss. Even with her eyes closed, Alice could feel Sanae’s shoulders once again relaxing through the hand that rested on her shoulder. Pulling back after a moment, Alice smiled at Sanae, who could only stare at the puppeteer.
“I’ve been quite oblivious for a while, but I feel the same way, Sanae,” she murmured, able to hear the smile in her own voice.
“Hey Reimu?”
“What now, Marisa? It’s so early...”
“You know how Alice showed up with Sanae to the party last night and also gave us and Reisen like, nice bows to wear in our hair?”
“She said it was as thanks for solving the incident.”
“Yeah, but do you know why they have notes on them that say ‘sorry for forgetting about your existence’?”
“I’m going to take this at face value and not question it.”