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Lucas wakes up to his alarm at 7 AM.
It's the day after a big I♡B solo live, so they have the day off to rest, but that doesn't mean he can slack off.
He changes into workout clothes and goes for a short jog around the block. When he comes back to the sharehouse, he showers and gets ready for the day, and by the time he finishes, the others are gathered around the table for breakfast.
"Morning." He sits down in his usual spot next to Rabi.
"Good morning, Lucas." Noah smiles.
Sebastian places a plate in front of him. "Today's breakfast is eggs and bacon."
"Merci." Lucas nods in thanks.
"My pleasure."
Before Sebastian walks away, Lucas remembers something the butler said the previous day. "You said yesterday that we'd be having corn for dinner tonight, didn't you? I'm looking forward to it."
"Of course." Sebastian bows with a smile.
---
They spend the afternoon practicing together in the basement studio.
Lucas points out the mistakes he noticed in the live the day before, and they decide to go through the setlist again.
They finish the first song, and Lucas furrows his brow in slight confusion. "That was much better than yesterday."
The others share a look.
"Well, we were pretty nervous going out on stage," Rabi suggests. "Maybe we just messed up more than usual."
"Were we...?" Lucas frowns.
"It doesn't really matter, does it?" Noah places a hand on his shoulder. "What's important is what we can do now. Let's just move on to the next song, shall we?"
"Right." Lucas shakes his head to clear his thoughts. "I'm ready."
Rabi gives the count, and they start again.
---
Dinner is a chicken dish with corn on the side.
After they finish eating, Lucas goes back to his room to work on composing. He picks up the sheet music on his desk, and pauses.
"...Was I this far in the song?"
He doesn't remember writing this much. But as he reads through it, it does match how he envisioned the song. Maybe he worked on it half-asleep last night?
He shrugs and continues.
By the time he finishes, it's almost midnight. He looks over the sheet music one more time. It still needs a bit of work, but it's late, and they have school in the morning.
He'll give it another look tomorrow.
Lucas wakes up to his alarm at 7 AM.
It's the day after a big I♡B solo live, so they have the day off to rest, but that doesn't mean he can slack off.
He changes into workout clothes and goes for a short jog around the block. When he comes back to the sharehouse, he showers and gets ready for the day, and by the time he finishes, the others are gathered around the table for breakfast.
"Morning." He sits down in his usual spot next to Rabi.
"Good morning, Lucas." Noah smiles.
Sebastian places a plate in front of him. "Today's breakfast is pancakes with maple syrup."
"Merci." Lucas nods in thanks.
"My pleasure."
Before Sebastian walks away, Lucas remembers something the butler said the previous day. "You said yesterday that we'd be having corn for dinner tonight, didn't you? I'm looking forward to it."
"Of course." Sebastian bows with a smile.
---
They spend the afternoon practicing together in the basement studio.
Lucas points out the mistakes he noticed in the live the day before, and they decide to go through the setlist again.
They finish the first song, and Lucas furrows his brow in slight confusion. "That was much better than yesterday."
The others share a look.
"M- Maybe we messed up more because we were nervous in front of other people...?" Chaoyang suggests. "I know I did...I'm sorry..."
"Were we...?" Lucas frowns.
"It doesn't really matter, does it?" Noah places a hand on his shoulder. "What's important is what we can do now. Let's just move on to the next song, shall we?"
"Right." Lucas shakes his head to clear his thoughts. "I'm ready."
Rabi gives the count, and they start again.
---
Dinner is steak with corn on the side.
After they finish eating, Lucas goes back to his room to work on composing. He picks up the sheet music on his desk, and pauses.
"...When did I finish this?"
He flips through the pages in confusion. He doesn't remember this at all. But as he reads through it, it does match how he envisioned the song. Maybe he worked on it half-asleep last night?
It's pretty good for something he doesn't remember writing. He plays through it, making adjustments and fine-tuning here and there.
By the time he finishes, it's almost midnight. He looks over the sheet music one more time. He thinks about bringing it to Noah, but it's late, and they have school in the morning.
He'll show the others tomorrow.
Lucas wakes up to his alarm at 7 AM.
It's the day after a big I♡B solo live, so they have the day off to rest, but that doesn't mean he can slack off.
He can hear rain against the roof, and frowns. The weather forecast he saw yesterday didn't mention anything about rain. But he doesn't want to go jogging in the rain, so instead he takes his bass down into the studio to get some extra practice in.
By the time he finishes, the others are gathered around the table for breakfast.
"Morning." He sits down in his usual spot next to Rabi.
"Good morning, Lucas." Noah smiles.
Sebastian places a plate in front of him. "Today's breakfast is omelettes."
"Merci." Lucas nods in thanks.
"My pleasure."
Before Sebastian walks away, Lucas remembers something the butler said the previous day. "You said yesterday that we'd be having corn for dinner tonight, didn't you? I'm looking forward to it."
"Of course." Sebastian bows with a smile.
---
They spend the afternoon playing together in the basement studio.
Lucas points out the mistakes he noticed in the live the day before, and they decide to go through the setlist again.
They finish the first song, and Lucas furrows his brow in slight confusion. "That was much better than yesterday."
The others share a look.
"Of course it was." Leon speaks up. "We've been—"
"Leon." Noah cuts him off with a warning tone. Leon bites his lip and looks away.
Lucas looks between the two, confused. "What?"
"It doesn't really matter, does it?" Noah places a hand on his shoulder. "What's important is what we can do now. Let's just move on to the next song, shall we?"
Lucas glances back over at Leon, who has his back turned, facing Rabi instead. Rabi says something too quiet for Lucas to hear, and pats Leon's shoulder. After a second, Leon spins back around, a smile plastered on his face.
"Yeah, let's keep going! I have some ideas for a new guitar solo I wanna show off!" He plays a guitar riff, and Rabi smiles, giving him a drum beat to match.
"...Right." Lucas shakes his head to clear his thoughts. "I'm ready."
Rabi gives the count, and they start again.
---
Dinner is cream sauce pasta with corn on top.
After they finish eating, Lucas goes back to his room to work on composing. He picks up the sheet music on his desk, and pauses.
"...When did I finish this?"
He flips through the pages in confusion. He doesn't remember this at all. But as he reads through it, it does match how he envisioned the song. Maybe he worked on it half-asleep last night?
It's pretty good for something he doesn't remember writing. He plays through it, making adjustments and fine-tuning here and there, but it barely needs anything before he feels it's done.
Satisfied, he picks up the sheet music and leaves the room.
---
Lucas raises his hand to knock on Noah's door, but before he can, he hears a voice from inside.
"This isn't right."
"Leon, we've talked about this."
"I know, but I don't like it! Why do we have to keep pretending?!"
"What's the other option? Break it to him every morning? You saw what happened last time. Do you want to make him go through that every day?"
"No, but there has to be a better way—"
"At least this way we can still be I♡B. Even if just here. I don't want to lose that too."
...What's going on?
"...Lucas?" He turns to see Chaoyang staring at him with concern. "Are you okay?"
"Chaoyang...?"
The door opens. Lucas looks back to see Noah, a resigned look on his face.
"Chaoyang, go get Rabi." Noah says quietly, and Chaoyang nods before quickly heading back down the hallway.
Noah steps back into the room, allowing Lucas to enter.
Lucas looks between the two inside. Leon looks away guiltily. "What were you talking about?"
"That depends. What did you hear?"
"What do you mean, we can still be I♡B? We are I♡B."
Noah sighs. "We stopped working as I♡B last year, Lucas."
"What?"
"We couldn't exactly continue with your situation as it is."
"But we just had a live yesterday."
"That was two years ago."
"...What?" That can't be right. The live was yesterday. He came home, went to bed, and woke up this morning. Two years?
Noah continues. "And this isn't the first time we've had this conversation, either."
"...I don't understand. I don't remember..."
"Of course you don't. Your memory resets every day. You remember everything up through the day of that live, but your mind can't store any new memories, so all the memories you make in a day disappear when you go to sleep."
"But...I don't..."
"Lucas," Chaoyang says in a quiet, pleading voice. "Please don’t think about it too much. Let's just go to bed, okay?"
Lucas looks between the three. He hadn’t noticed earlier in the day, but now that he takes a closer look, they look older than he remembers them. He looks older, he realizes as he stares at his reflection in Noah’s mirror in horror. He looks down at the papers in his hand, the sheet music he didn't remember writing.
“I...”
“You’ve been writing that same song over and over again for months.” Noah picks up a stack of papers on his desk, holding them out to show Lucas. It's the same sheet music, for the same song, in the same handwriting. "You were working on it the evening of the live, so every time your memory resets, you go right back to it."
Lucas feels a sharp pain in his head. The sheet music in his hand falls to the ground. He squeezes his eyes shut, putting a hand to his head.
“No...that can't be true...” It's a dream. It has to be. If he can just wake himself up...
"Lucas?" Chaoyang's worried voice barely registers.
Lucas shakes his head and takes a step back, then another, then bolts out of the room—only to run right into waiting arms.
“Let go of me!” He struggles, but Rabi doesn't budge.
“Lucas, calm down.”
“I want to be alone!”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“Why not?!”
Rabi grabs Lucas’s hand and forcefully twists his arm around, ignoring Lucas’s yelp of pain. He pushes Lucas’s sleeve up his arm to reveal pale skin and— “Because last time we left you alone after you found out, you did this.”
Lucas freezes, a chill running down his back at the sight of the scars running across his wrist.
He doesn't remember it. But he knows instinctively that it was his own doing.
Another burst of pain in his head. His legs give out under him, and he collapses into Rabi’s arms. Rabi catches him and holds him tightly, rubbing his back in comforting circles.
“Do you really think this is better, Leon?” Noah’s voice sounds strained.
The last thing Lucas hears before he loses consciousness is Leon’s sobs. “I’m sorry...I’m so sorry...”
I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...
Lucas wakes up to his alarm at 7 AM.
It's the day after a big I♡B solo live, so they have the day off to rest, but that doesn't mean he can slack off.
He changes into workout clothes and goes for a short jog around the block. When he comes back to the sharehouse, he showers and gets ready for the day, and by the time he finishes, the others are gathered around the table for breakfast.
"Morning." He sits down in his usual spot next to Rabi.
Silence. A heavy atmosphere fills the room.
“...Good morning, Lucas.” Chaoyang finally breaks the silence with a quiet greeting.
Lucas frowns in confusion, noting that Leon's seat is empty. “Is something wrong?”
Noah clears his throat and sits up straighter, giving Lucas a smile. “No, not at all. Good morning.”
Lucas can tell the smile is fake, but before he can press further—
Sebastian places a tray in front of him. "Today's breakfast is a Japanese-style breakfast of fish, miso soup, and rice."
"Merci." Lucas nods in thanks.
"My pleasure."
Sebastian hovers, like he's waiting for Lucas to say something. Instead, Lucas turns back to the others.
"Where's Leon?"
The others share a glance, and Noah answers. "Leon's not feeling well. I don't think he'll be coming out of his room today."
"He probably just stayed up too late yesterday after the live," Lucas idly comments as he picks up his chopsticks. "I told him to go to bed early and rest. Idiot."
But instead of the chiding response he usually gets from the others, he's met with uncomfortable silence.
"...What?"
"...No, you're probably right. That's just like Leon, isn't it?" Rabi laughs awkwardly.
But Chaoyang looks down, and Lucas frowns, trying to read the room.
"...Has he eaten yet? I'll bring him breakfast."
"Oh, no need." Noah quickly reassures him. "Sebastian will, right?"
"Certainly." Sebastian bows before heading back towards the kitchen.
Lucas watches him go with a suspicious look. Something doesn't seem right.
---
They don't practice.
Instead, Lucas spends the afternoon rereading the Tiger Kids books on his bookshelf. They're dusty, like they haven't been opened in a while, but he doesn't pay it too much mind. He has been busy, after all.
But even as he reads, his mind keeps wandering back to the empty seat at breakfast. Rabi's right; it's not unusual for Leon to sleep in on their days off, so maybe he's just reading too much into it, but something still feels wrong.
He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. It's Leon. He'll probably be fine by dinner.
---
Dinner is soup and corn salad.
Leon's seat is still empty.
After they finish eating, Lucas goes back to his room to work on composing. But he can't focus on the music in front of him, the empty seat still on his mind, and finally he gives up, going back downstairs.
---
Lucas knocks on Leon's door, a mug of tea in his hand.
The door opens. Leon's eyes widen in surprise. "Lucas?"
"Noah said you weren't feeling well, so I brought you some tea."
Leon eyes the mug suspiciously. "...Did you make that?"
Normally, Lucas would take offense to Leon's distrust, but today he simply shakes his head. "I asked Sebastian to make it."
Leon looks back inside his room. "...Hold on a moment."
He closes the door, and Lucas can hear some rustling from inside. Finally, Leon opens the door again, letting Lucas in.
Leon's room looks different from the last time Lucas was inside. He notices what looks like a calendar on the wall, but it's hung up backwards, so all he can see is the plain back cover. He opens his mouth to ask about it, but Leon speaks before he can.
"Have a seat."
Lucas tries to make small talk—about the live, about school, about their next event—but Leon just nods and gives noncommittal answers, and eventually they lapse into silence.
Finally, Lucas speaks up again.
"Did you have another dream about your past?"
Leon looks up in surprise. "What?"
"You were having nightmares about your old self before, weren't you?"
"...What makes you bring that up now?"
"When you're sick, you whine so loudly the whole house knows. It's not like you to lock yourself in your room all day, so I thought...maybe it was something more serious."
"And that's why you came to check on me?"
Lucas nods. "I know I'm not the best with words, but...if something's bothering you, I'll listen. Did you remember something?"
Leon lets out a quiet, humorless laugh. "You're asking me that?"
"...Did I say something strange?"
Leon shakes his head. "No. Sorry. You're right. Well, kind of."
"Kind of?"
Leon takes a sip from the mug of tea. Lucas waits for him to continue.
"...Do you remember what you told me after you found out about my past? When I said I was scared of remembering my old self and losing who I am now."
"...Of course. I said that even if you forget yourself, I'll remember for you."
Leon smiles softly. "Yeah. Yeah, you did. I was so happy when you said that. I'm so glad you still remember."
"Of course I do. I could never forget that. And it was only a few months ago, anyway."
Leon shakes his head and stands up, putting down his tea. "...That's why I decided to remember for you."
"For...me? What do you mean? I haven't forgotten anything."
Leon picks up a journal from his desk, taking a deep breath before holding it out to Lucas. "Read this."
The journal says 'For Lucas' on the cover in Leon's handwriting. "What is this...?"
"Just read it. Don't freak out, but read it."
Lucas hesitantly opens the journal and begins to read.
"Anterograde amnesia...?"
"It means that you can't create new memories. All of your memories until that solo live we did are intact, and you can store new memories temporarily, but every time you go to sleep, your memory resets to the morning after that live."
Lucas keeps reading further down the page. "A traffic accident..."
"Right. The doctor said it was lucky you survived. But you suffered a brain injury, and, well..."
The date on the page is April 14, 2021. The last day he remembers is the live, one month before. He starts flipping through the rest of the journal, noting that Leon's writing fills nearly the entire thing. He looks up at the hidden calendar on the wall with a sinking feeling.
"...How long has it been?"
Leon doesn't answer, and Lucas turns back towards him. Leon's hands are tightly wrapped around the mug, and he stares down into the tea, not meeting Lucas's eyes.
"Leon, how long have I been like this?"
"...You can see for yourself. It's in there."
Lucas flips to the most recent page in the journal. September 30, 2023.
"This is...today?"
Leon nods.
"Why...doesn't anyone say anything...?"
Leon sighs. "We did at first. But you react badly every time you find out. It's too much of a shock for you, I guess. Noah says we should just keep pretending like every day is the day after that live when you're around, because it's less stress on you. But—"
"I don't want that. I don't want to be living a lie. And that's not fair to you all—"
"I know you don't. That's why I've been writing in that journal every day. So even if you forget, the memories are all right here for you." Leon's shoulders slump. "...Not like you'll remember me telling you this tomorrow, though."
"Then tell me again tomorrow."
"I can't. If I bring it up myself, it doesn't mean anything. I don't want to put pressure on you to remember. I know how that feels. It'll just end badly. It always does..."
Lucas looks down at the last page again. After the date, there's only one line.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
He shuts the journal.
"Then I will."
"What?"
"I'll remember. Somehow."
"How? With the journal...?"
Lucas shakes his head. "I want you to keep this. Keep remembering everything for me. In exchange, I'll remember you myself."
"But you can't..."
"Leon..." Lucas places the journal back into Leon's hands with a determined look. "Trust me."
---
After he leaves Leon's room, Lucas goes back to his own room to work on composing. He picks up the sheet music on his desk, and reads through it before casting it aside, pulling out blank pages instead.
By the time he finishes, it's almost midnight. He looks over the music one more time. He tapes a sticky note up to his door, making sure to place it right in his line of sight.
He'll remember tomorrow.
Lucas wakes up to his alarm at 7 AM.
It's the day after a big I♡B solo live, so they have the day off to rest, but that doesn't mean he can slack off.
He changes into workout clothes, but when he goes to leave the room, a sticky note on the door catches his attention. He doesn't remember writing it, but the note is in his own handwriting.
Look at the desk.
He looks over at his desk to see a short letter next to pages of sheet music, neatly lined up next to each other.
The sheet music looks unfamiliar. The letter is addressed to him, dated October 1, 2023. Both are in his own handwriting. He furrows his brow in confusion.
Leon must be playing a practical joke, he thinks. But he sits down and starts reading anyway.
---
By the time he finishes, the others are gathered around the table for breakfast.
But instead of sitting down in his usual spot next to Rabi, he walks around the table and holds out a set of papers to Leon. "...Happy birthday."
Everything goes quiet.
"...Lucas?"
"It...is your birthday, right?" Lucas falters, looking around at the shocked faces of the others. "I left a note for myself yesterday saying to give you this today. I wrote this for you last night...apparently. Sorry I didn't have time to practice enough to actually play it for you. If you don't mind waiting, I'll play it later—"
"A new song...?!" The others stand up, trying to get a better look at the sheet music.
"For me...?"
Lucas can feel his cheeks heating up in embarrassment. "...Is that weird?"
Leon takes the sheet music from him in wonder. "No, no, I'm just surprised..." As he looks through it, his face breaks into a thrilled smile. He puts the music down on the table and throws his arms around Lucas's neck. "Thank you!!!"
Lucas staggers under the sudden impact. "That's—" —dangerous, is what he almost says, but he can feel Leon's tears on his shoulder through his shirt, and he shuts his mouth, awkwardly wrapping his arms around the other boy instead.
"...Well!" Noah claps his hands together, drawing everyone's attention. "Looks like we're celebrating Leon's birthday tonight after all. Sebastian, can I leave the birthday dinner preparations to you? It's I♡B's first proper birthday celebration in two years. Let's make it a good one."
"Certainly. Do you have any requests, Leon?"
Leon squeezes Lucas once more, then releases him and steps back, sniffling. "Anything's fine."
"Anything?"
"Anything. Just getting to celebrate at all is enough already." Leon nods, then his eyes widen, like he just remembered something. He dashes off, but stops halfway up the stairs to yell back down. "Oh, but no corn!"
"Why no corn?!" Lucas frowns at the seemingly out-of-nowhere request. The others laugh.
Rabi chuckles, placing a hand on Lucas's shoulder. "Thanks to Sebastian promising you corn the day of that live, we've been having corn pretty much every day for two years straight. I think it's time for a break."
"But I don't remember that..."
Footsteps echo through the house as Leon dashes back down the stairs. He skids to a stop in front of Lucas, and holds out a journal.
The journal says 'For Lucas' on the cover in Leon's handwriting. Lucas looks at it curiously.
Leon places the journal in Lucas's hands, and smiles as they hold it between them.
"From now on, let's remember together."
Lucas wakes up to his alarm at 7 AM.
It's the day after a big I♡B solo live, so they have the day off to rest, but that doesn't mean he can slack off.
He changes into workout clothes, but when he goes to leave the room, a sticky note on the door catches his attention. He doesn't remember writing it, but the note is in his own handwriting.
Look at the desk.
He looks over at his desk to see a journal with 'For Lucas' on the cover in Leon's handwriting.
Leon must be playing a practical joke, he thinks. But he opens the cover and begins to read anyway.