Work Text:
“Promise you won’t leave me?”
“I’ll never leave you; I promise.”
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Silence surrounded Soobin like a thick blanket, consuming his mind and amplifying his thoughts. The only sound that could be heard through the silence was his breathing, heavy and labored.
He had just woken up from a nightmare, though nightmare didn’t come close to describing the terror of this dream. It made him feel sick to his stomach that was churning the moment he woke up. He curled into himself, the blanket around him twisting and tangling around his lanky frame. Fear crawled around him and the nauseous and tingling feeling grew by the second, and he just wanted relief.
‘It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. He’s still here. He didn’t leave. It’s just a dream.’
He repeated his mantra for what seemed like hours, but it did little to calm his fear. They just continued to grow and grow.
‘He’s gone. He left. It’s your fault he’s gone. Look what you did.’
Repeatedly, the voice whispered. Its words bouncing around his head, growing louder and louder. He didn’t want to believe what it was saying was true, but he couldn’t find evidence in his irrational state of mind. He had to see for himself.
As quietly as he could without waking his roommate, he tiptoed towards the door and out into the hallway. It felt so eerie standing in the hallway. The darkness dominated the lightless stretch of the dorm. His sleepless mind was barely functioning, and the floor looked like it was moving. Did it scare him even more? It did, and it served as a reason to get where he wanted to be faster.
He stumbled around in the dark, trying to find the door he needed. The floor still shuffled under him and made walking so much more difficult, not good. But after a few minutes of searching, he found where he was looking for. Hand firmly on the doorknob and with a hard twist of his wrist, the door opens.
The room was considerably more lit up than the hallway, a dinosaur nightlight set up on the bedside table that lightly illuminated the otherwise dark room. The soothing atmosphere was a harsh contrast from the horrors he had to face in the room behind him.
From this angle, he could see Kai passed out on his bed. He knew no matter how much sound could be made; Kai wouldn’t wake up or even move in annoyance. Deep sleep. It almost made him feel better, but not quite.
The person he came to find was only in the bed above him. Taehyun’s peaceful, sleeping face was in his line of sight. No matter how many times Soobin has looked at the younger man, he couldn’t get over how handsome he was. Even with the shadows hiding a portion of his face, Taehyun looked ethereal.
For a moment, Soobin hesitated moving forwards. Was all of this really necessary? Did he need to wake the younger man all because he had a nightmare about him? Maybe he’s just being irrational about the situation and it’s better to go back to his room and try to get some sleep.
‘No, no. It’s perfectly normal to do this. He’s your boyfriend, and he said that it’s okay to ask for comfort when you need it… but he could’ve been lying, and he never said during the night. Maybe I should go back- No Soobin. Just wake him up.’
Soobin was too tired and distraught to fight with himself. He was already here, and it’s useless to go back now. He took a deep breath and slowly made his way to the bed.
The closer he got to his boyfriend, the more his heart raced. Was it because of his dream, or was it Taehyun’s probable reaction that scared him; he couldn’t tell anymore? Vivid images and voices also grew louder and clearer. Maybe it was just the nightmare getting to him.
He finally got to the bed, his face a few inches from the younger man. He’s here, and all he had to do now was wake him up. Any minute now…. He’s gonna do it, he swears! Just give him a second.
His hand has been stretched out for who knows how long, waiting to shake the sleeping man.
‘This is taking too long. Just do it before you can think about it.’
And he did.
A bit too frantically as he shook, he got Taehyun to wake up. He shot up in a panic from the violent shaking, but he was up nonetheless. Soobin might’ve felt a little bad from the exhausted and frightened expression plastered on his boyfriend’s face, but he needed him awake before he could lose his sanity.
“Wha- huh?!? Who’s ther- Hyung? What are you doing here? It’s,” he looked towards the clock, “3 AM. Why-“
He cut himself off when his vision finally focused and he could see the older man better. Was he crying?
“Hyung, what’s wrong?” His voice softened.
Soobin looked as if there were words stuck in his throat, waiting to come out. He could hear the gears trying to turn in his head, frantically searching for a coherent sentence.
“Can I sleep here tonight? I don’t want to go back to my room…”
What was he going to do? Say no? Never.
“Yeah, yeah, get up here; but you’re going to tell me what happened when you do.”
The man quickly nodded his head before stumbling to the ladder and shakily climbing up it. His movements were clumsy and uncertain as he shuffled next to his boyfriend and gripping on to him. Taehyun carefully wove his arms around the taller man’s waist and brought him closer.
“Now, tell me what happened,” he spoke firmly.
With a shaky breath, Soobin let out what happened. He told him everything, from the dream to what happened in the hallway. It wasn’t until Taehyun brushed his hand against his cheek did Soobin realize he was crying again.
“It’s okay, Hyung, it’s okay. I’m here, I didn’t go anywhere, and nor did anything happen to me. It’s all a dream, and it wasn’t real.”
“I know it wasn’t real, but it felt like it was. It was horrifying. I feel so dumb for letting it get to me, but it hurts so much.”
“It’s okay. Everything is okay. The way you’re feeling is also okay and expected. That dream sounded horrible and your reaction is understandable. We can talk about it more in the morning. For now, just focus on my heartbeat. Okay?”
Soobin nodded and placed his head on Taehyun’s chest, right over his heart. As the minutes go by, he progressively got calmer. Following the rhythm of the beats, his eyes started to slowly close. He was on the edge of slipping into slumber when he looked up at Taehyun.
“Promise you won’t leave me?”
“I’ll never leave you; I promise.”