Work Text:
——— Monday, 8:45am
It started on October 26th.
I sat down at my desk like every other Monday morning of senior year and sighed, taking out my notebook. My mind was riddled with numbers, specifically one number. Five. Five days. Five days until my birthday. I was finally going to be eighteen.
"George, come here for a moment," my college prep teacher said from the front of the classroom, looking through her mail for the day. Her purple hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, scarf matching the shade around her neck.
"Uhhh, okay." I slid out of my seat as other students walked into the room before class. The classroom progressively got louder as I took the note Mrs. Puffy was holding out to me, pushing up the sleeves of my navy blue hoodie anxiously.
George,
It's close to your birthday. I might as well start now. Expect to hear a lot from me!
Your secret admirer
I looked up and casted my eyes around the room. My secret admirer? What? Nobody was even looking at me or acting suspiciously, and I frowned. Who would even do that for me? I was not popular, nor was I a loner- I was George.
“Can I go to the bathroom before class?” I asked Mrs. Puffy, confused.
She nodded, and I slowly stalked into the hallway. When I passed by the main office idly, I looked in through the full wall mirror and saw Clay, making my heart stop.
Clay. Clay was the cool football player that everyone loved. Who couldn't love him? Every girl had a crush on him and every boy wanted to be him, like every cliche movie ever. He was a grade lower than me, making me look like the odd one out of my friend group. Well, added on to the fact that I’m an openly gay highschooler.
His eyes were so green, looking partially yellow to me, and I remember watching him during school football games when he’d take off his helmet, running his hands through his wavy, light hair.
“You’re such a cougar, George,” Karl would tease.
And I would try to defend, “Like nobody else is trying to get on that.”
Often, I would walk a different path to classes to try and navigate myself past him. It was more difficult when we only had one class together: Literature. Not like he noticed I was in the class anyways. Plus, he was a junior, and I was a senior. He was the wide receiver of the football team, and I joined the programming club this year with Nick, Karl stepping on our heels to join as well.
Clay looked upset in the office, arguing with the secretaries at the main desk about something, so I decided to snoop a bit. I walked nonchalantly into the office and smiled at the secretaries, listening in on Clay’'s conversation. He didn't even see me come in. Plus, if he did, he wouldn't have even said anything or paid me a second glance.
"I need this," Clay practically begged to the old lady behind the desk. She rolled her eyes. "I’m serious!” He used his hands exasperatedly. “I won't show anyone, and I'll throw it out as soon as I’m done." I admired the way he looked shortly, jeans cuffed over a pair of converse. They were slightly dirty and showed his active side.
"Clay, it is against laws. That's an invasion of privacy."
"But it's for a good cause."
This is boring. I sighed, eyes scanning the room boredly, and started walking out the door. Clay caught my eye when I brushed behind him, and his eyes widened a bit. Oh my GOD. Hurriedly, I looked down at my feet and scurried back to class, not looking back once.
I did wonder what he wanted from the office, though.
——— Monday, 1:45pm
I was so ready to go home. School had run me dry today, like everyday, and all of the energy I built up over the weekend was gone. Senior year was long and tiring, and everyday I counted down the days to graduation. My eyes closed in between classes and I huffed, thinking of going home to my comfortable bed. Someone nudged me, causing me to jolt up.
"What?" I glared in slight annoyance.
A tall blonde boy stared down at me with wide eyes. I remembered the freshman or sophomore from my lunch. He never talked, and he always sat alone writing in books. "I- Uh," he stumbled and pulled his sleeves down anxiously, "I was instructed to give this to you.” My eyes followed down his arm to the note he was holding out to me.
"Oh, uh, thanks." I took the note and he hurriedly scurried away, literally terrified by me.
George,
That person wasn't me. I got him to give this to you.
Are you excited to go home? I know this is getting to you at almost 2:00pm.
I stopped reading immediately and looked up. Students around the library were focused on their own work, nobody looking or watching. Who did this? Looking back down, I continued reading:
Go to your locker at the end of the day for your first gift. And don't even try to ask how i got your combination. I asked around...
your secret admirer
I bit my lip in either a smile or a scowl. I wasn't sure which one yet.
—— Monday, end of school day
I followed my secret admirer’s orders and walked to my locker. The hallways were filled with people hurrying to get home or to practice, making me nudge around the bodies. Sapnap was waiting for me by his car in the parking lot, so I rushed to the small locker at the end of the building.
"Hey, I like your shirt," a voice said through the passing conversations, and I immediately went pale because how can you not recognize that voice?
I looked down at my school sweatshirt for the football team and smiled a little. Of course Clay would comment on something from football. Be cool, be cool, be cool. I felt like a freshman talking to a senior, not talking to the younger one. I was supposed to be intimidating here. "Thanks, Clay."
I looked up, and there he was. He kept pace walking right next to me, hands tucked into his jean pockets. His head was turned to me, blonde hair bouncing ever so slightly with each step. "Where are you headed?" He cocked his head to the side.
This was so weird. Clay and I barely have ever talked, if at all. In my wildest dreams he would ever go for me.
"My locker," I said nonchalantly, looking ahead to the mass bodies. Sapnap was going to kill me. I was taking forever.
"Oh, cool. I just wanted to say you did a nice job on the literature presentation today, George."
My cheeks flushed immediately, and I smiled up at him, even allowing myself to let out a small laugh. "I'm so horrible at literature." I didn’t think he even knew I was in his class, let alone knew my name.
"Better than me." He lowered his head down to me and ran his tongue over his lips. I let my eyes scan down quickly, noting how pink they looked when he smirked at me.
I forced myself to answer, "We'll see about that on Wednesday when you give yours," as we arrived at my locker, me starting to turn the familiar combination.
His eyebrows raised as he leaned up against the locker next to mine and crossed his arms. "Touché." I was confused why he was hanging around me for the first time, basking in the way his eyes explored me.
I smiled and opened up my locker, eyes widening when a machine of fake snow spritzed out at me. Clay’s laugh outweighed every single voice in that hallway as he watched me look at myself in embarrassment.
"Oh my God," I muttered and wiped away the fake snow. "This is so embarrassing. I didn't do this." I started shoving the snow out of my locker, letting it fall gently to my feet.
"What is that for?"
"I have a feeling I know," I murmured to myself as I glared at the little white note sitting at the bottom of my locker.
George,
Surprise! I made a little blizzard for you.
I shyly looked at Clay, who was peeking over my shoulder. "Um..,” I stumbled out. It was so humiliating. He had his eyebrow raised.
"Got a secret admirer?" He teased and I noticed a tiny dimple as he cheekily smiled at me. An urge spread throughout my body to either shove him or kiss him, but I just sighed instead, eyes casting back downwards to the note.
The blizzard wasn't the gift though. Imagine if it was! LOL.
Look on page 18 of your literature textbook and you'll see the actual gift. It’s also a hint of who I am, Think of sports.
"A sporty kid, huh?" Clay asked, peeking over my shoulder still, and I shrugged.
"Apparently." WHY IS HE TALKING TO ME STILL. My heart raced and I couldn't wait to tell my friend group about this little scene later tonight. I could already picture their pat on the backs, tired of hearing me talk about the younger boy.
I reached into the locker and pulled out the literature textbook. After wiping off the fake snow, I opened it up to the cover page and cooed at the starbucks gift card with a little note attached.
You do love your fall drinks
The secret admirer had to be in one of my morning classes, I was sure of it. I usually brought a drink to my morning classes to wake me up even more. That left only College prep, literature, and programming.
Clay followed me as I started walking to the closest exit by the student parking lot. I could already see Nick through the windows leaned against his car, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. "Heading out?" Clay asked me. The hallway by now was mostly cleared out, leaving stragglers like us.
"Yeah, I have a lot of homework." Why did you tell him that? I thought to myself. He probably thinks you're some nerd now. “Senior year is no joke.”
"Cool. I’m going to practice.” He pulled his hoodie over his head, an athletic long sleeve underneath, fitting tightly around his arms. I swallowed. "Hey,” he spoke as if bidding goodbye. I stopped by the door to the exit. “If I need help with my literature homework, I obviously know who to hit up, yeah?"
"I can't wait to give you all of the wrong answers."
He laughed loudly and was about to say something when a guy tapped his shoulder and pointed to the door to the locker room. I bit back a frown when Clay turned his attention back to me. "See you tomorrow bright and early for literature."
—— Tuesday, 10:00am
I sipped on my coffee drink that I got for free before classes -thanks to my secret admirer- and tried to pay attention in my literature class.
My eyes wandered around the room, staring at the cheesy posters and the students quietly reading the assignment. I involuntarily looked at Clay at the back of the classroom. He had his head in his hand and his eyes were closed, eyelashes resting lightly on his pink cheeks. His blond hair was a little messy today, but my heart still turned into a liquid slosh of adoration. He looked so small in a dark blue hoodie and grey joggers.
My heartbeat sped up when his eyes opened and looked over to me. When he realized I was already looking at him, he smiled widely. I rolled my eyes at the teacher and he nodded with a yawn.
The teacher let us have the end of the class period to work on the homework in pairs, and I almost screamed when I saw from the corner of my eye Clay sit down at the empty seat next to me. Soft murmurs of classmates blocked out the sound of others, but I could hear everything down to the sound of his shoe hitting the back of his chair quietly.
"Not sitting with your friends over there?" I questioned and gestured over to his friends on their phones and laughing at the other side of the room. Every once in a while, one of them -Punz- would look up at us and snicker.
He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, yawning again. He looked so cute when he was tired. "Not today. They're too loud, and I'm tired."
"Didn't get enough sleep?" I asked with a small laugh because I didn't go to sleep until 4:00am. If anyone should have been tired, it would be me.
He lazily nodded, using the sleeve of his hoodie to rub his eyes. "I didn't sleep at all."
My head whipped towards him, eyes wide. "You what?"
He was writing his name on the literature worksheet and nodded, not even looking up at me. "I’m so tired."
"Why didn't you sleep?"
"I was, uh, working on something." He looked a little nervous and pulled on his earlobe. My eyebrow raised in suspicion so he continued, "the literature presentation for tomorrow!"
"Yeah, sure." I looked back down at my homework and shook my head with fake disbelief. A small smile teased at the corners of my mouth.
I felt him lightly shove my shoulder with his own as he giggled, "Shut up." He picked up his pencil and started working on his homework, too.
"Clay, you coming over here?" One of his friends, Zak, asked. He had really fluffy, long hair and baggy clothes on. Zak was alright, but I always thought he looked like a washed-up rapper.
My face fell and I looked over at Clay. His normally bright eyes were bloodshot ,and he looked so tired. He looked at me and then at Zak again and I sighed because he was going to want to sit with his friends obviously over a random, lame senior. "Nah, man, I'll just stay here for today," he said, though, surprising me. I couldn't help the big smile making its way to my face when Clay turned his attention back to me and mumbled, "Now where were we?"
—— Tuesday, lunch
The first letter arrived for that day. I wasn't exactly surprised anymore, but I still got the exciting goosebumps when I opened up the little note as I sat down at the lunch table. Five minutes prior to sitting down with my friends, the lunch lady handed me the note as I filled my tray with a hamburger and fries.
George,
Happy Tuesday!
I hope you're having a great day so far, and I hope you enjoy your gift that's coming up…
Go to the lunch monitor that stands by the main entrance of the lunchroom and show him this note. He will give you a little box with your gift.
By the way, you look lovely today.
your secret admirer
"Is that from the admirer?" Nick asked and reached out to take the note. I held it away from him and playfully glared. “Bro,” he dramatically whined. “Let me see!”
I ignored Nick and walked to the monitor. When I held up the note, mumbling “Um,” he simply nodded in acknowledgement. I watched as the gruffy man went into a back room, shifting my weight between my feet. He came back with the small box wrapped in silver wrapping paper and handed it to me.
I couldn't help but ask in curiosity, "Who gave you this?"
He simply huffed and looked at me like I was a two year old. "You don't know how secrets work, do you?"
"Oh, whatever," I grumbled and walked away with the neatly wrapped box. When I got back to the table, everyone asked me where I went and why I had a present. Alex asked me if I could go back up and get him a fork- to which I replied with a solid decline.
“Dude, open it!” Nick urged when I toyed with the wrapping.
“I’m nervous!”
“Pussy,” Alex cackled, squeezing a ketchup packet on his tray. “Open the gift.”
Inside the box was a new microphone setup for my computer, and I gasped happily. "I've been wanting a new microphone!" Whoever was buying this stuff for me either had an outlet to my friends or knew me well. The secret was killing me.
—— Wednesday, Literature
Clay spoke about writing beautifully. He could capture each theme and secret meaning perfectly, making me believe he could convince me he was in the time period every story was written in. I was in awe the whole twelve minutes as he talked about Johnny Got His Gun, even if I zoned out exactly what he was saying, and pointed to the pictures he organized into a powerpoint.
I received another letter yesterday during my last class. It was only a small note letting me know that it was a he and he was excited to reveal himself soon. I wasn't exactly sure just how soon "soon" was, but I was hanging on the edge of my seat, wanting to know who has been doing all of this for me. There weren’t many gay men at our smaller high school.
My secret admirer planted sticky notes with compliments all over my locker this morning. Clay was walking around with me before literature class just forty minutes ago and had said, "That's cute," at the notes. I wished he showed a little jealousy towards my secret admirer who complimented me about a million times in my locker, but he only simply nodded and looked at a few of them.
"How'd I do?" Clay whispered after his presentation, sliding into the seat next to mine. He permanently moved his spot next to me, and I couldn't be happier by his decision to leave his friends and sit by me.
"Really good!" I gushed. "Are you sure you're not a time traveler?"
A blush rose up his neck and tinted his cheeks as he mumbled, "Oh, thanks, I guess." I basked in the feeling that pooled up my stomach, letting myself be tanned by the own blush on my cheeks.
—— Wednesday, after school
“You never do anything,” Sapnap had said five hours ago. “Come to the game with us.”
“No.”
Alex concluded, “You’re coming.”
“No.”
“Bro,” Nick impatiently tugged on my arm. “You have to come. What else are you going to do at home? Work on college applications? I know you won’t.”
I tugged my arm away. “I’m not going, guys.”
But, I did go. There were four minutes left on the game, and I could only drool at Clay who was cheering with his friends at the bottom of the bleachers. He wore the school colors tie dyed on a tank top and jeans with the dirty converse he wore nearly everyday. I watched as he pulled his hair in anticipation, blond hair ending up sporadically in all directions everywhere.
I didn’t really understand basketball. Nick and Alex were very into the game, shouting when something was unfair and cheering loudly when we scored a basket. I didn’t really understand why I was forced to go, but I watched along quietly.
The soundboard went off, and the lights went suddenly black. Clay looked right at me and my face went red because oh my god he caught me staring I’m so dumb before one single message appeared across the score board for the entire home and visitors team to see:
George,
See you friday.
your secret admirer
I didn't know whether to be completely modified or to be excited. Clay was still looking at me and so was- oh my god, so was nearly everyone. Clay's friends, my friends, our basketball team, and some people in the crowd.
Then the lights went up, and the game continued like nothing happened.
"What was that?" Nick asked me with shock.
I looked down at the bleachers to see Clay talking to his friends. They looked at me and I shivered under the stare. "I have no idea."
—— Wednesday, 10:03pm
"What if it's Clay?" Alex asked me that night as he looked up from his homework. He was on the other side of my bedroom, sitting on the desk with his nose shoved in a textbook.
I let my head bob in thought from my position on the bed and let out a really unattractive pity laugh. "Yeah, right."
"Seriously, dude! Think about it."
"I can't stop thinking about it,” I admitted, biting my lip.
He tapped his pencil idly against the homework. "Clay or your secret admirer?"
I looked down at my textbook. The math equations stared back at me in an unreadable language, and I sighed. "Both."
"Clay seems so into you. Blushing? Friends looking at you? Right when the lights went out he looked at you,” he rattled off. “George, either he knows who your admirer is, and he knows what's going to happen next, or he is your admirer." Alex leaned back in the desk chair with crossed arms.
What if Clay was my secret admirer? The boy who was the wide receiver of the football team; the boy who was friends with everyone; the boy who curved around every girl who threw themselves at him, the boy who actually did his homework and sports and was respectful, and I liked him so much. Did Clay like me? Like, really?
—— Thursday, before school
There was already a note inside of my locker before school. I was beginning to look forward to the notes and got giddy with each one. It would nearly be a shame when my locker would soon be bare before high school each morning.
George,
Hi I can't wait to see you tomorrow! Well, I see you everyday, but you see me and I see you. you also see me everyday, but I guess you know what I mean.
It will kind of be clear how much I like you then as well. ( hint: it's a lot )
I'll obviously explain my feelings to you tomorrow on your birthday. You'll get the information on the meeting spot tomorrow before school. You'll be eighteen! Wow! Grandpa.
Happy Halloween, by the way!
your secret admirer
I neatly folded the note and put it in my backpack. There was a red wrapper at the bottom of my locker, and I pulled it out to see a king size kitkat bar: my favorite candy. I looked around me, making sure no one was watching me, before making my way to class at 8:45am eating a king size kitkat bar.
When I got to my literature class later in the morning, Clay was already sitting in the spot next to mine on his phone mindlessly. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and baggy jeans with the same dirty converse he wears everyday.
"Mornin’," I greeted, finally getting used to being able to be myself around him.
He looked up at me innocently and a slosh of fondness filled my rib cage as a cute crease formed at his eyebrows. “Morning, George.” He looked back down at his phone, so I smiled to myself and looked down, scrolling through my own phone. I felt Clay poke my shoulder after a few brief scrolls. "Any news on your secret admirer?"
Excitement filled my body, and I unzipped my backpack to take out the note he gave me. "This was in my locker this morning, and he gave me a king size kitkat bar."
He only gave a small, cocky grin. "Spoiling you rotten, babe."
My head whipped up in shock, and I stared at his smirk with my mouth wide open. "Uh."
Amusement danced over his sparkling eyes and the corner of his mouth tilted up. "Cat got your tongue?"
I was literally saved by the bell. the bell rang, signaling the start of class. Clay winked one last time before focusing on our teacher who was standing at the front of the room, ready to begin teaching.
—— Thursday, 11:59pm
"3...2...1..," Nick, Alex, and I counted down, staring at the clock displayed on my laptop. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" They cheered, all tackling me in hugs and fake, loud kisses.
"Oh my God," I breathed out in between childish giggles. “I'm eighteen! I’m legal!"
Alex leaned back against my desk and smiled at me, hands shoved into his hoodie pockets. "Feel any different?"
I rolled my eyes. "I feel like I can boss you around now even more.” He shoved me in reply with a loud laugh.
“Soon you'll be able to kiss that hunk of a junior, you cougar,” Nick teased, poking me in the ribs. I shriveled my stomach away from his touch.
I couldn't help but laugh as my best friends beamed at me. "What if it really is Clay?" I spoke quietly, as if speaking the words were a crime in itself.
"Umm,” Alex pretended to think, tapping his finger against his chin. “I say I told you so, and you go on a date and get a boyfriend? It's a win-win situation." Nick agreed, giving him a high five, and I relished in the wonder of it possibly being the wide receiver junior that everyone adored.
—— Friday, before school
I was bouncing around the halls before school. I had never really been a morning person… at all, but the thought of maybe Clay being my secret santa made it impossible for me to stay in bed any longer this morning.
In my locker was a shiny golden note. A smile made its way to my face as I practically ripped it open impatiently.
George,
Today is the day. I know you're impatient, so I’m making you wait until after school.
I groaned out loud and slammed my head against the open locker, earning a few stars from students passing by before school.
Meet me in room 143 after school.
By the way, happy birthday!
your secret admirer
—— Friday, final bell
The whole day had been amazing. Everything had gone right, surprisingly. My secret admirer left notes in each of my classes with cute messages about things he liked about me. Plus, I couldn't make it down one hall without someone yelling happy birthday at me. It was like the spotlight stayed centered on me today.
When the final bell of the day rang, I was the first one out the door, nearly sprinting to room 143. The hallways were crowded as always with people rushing to their rides and buses, and I could barely make it past anyone. It was so frustrating.
"Move," I snapped at random people when I was unable to squeeze by.
Finally, I stood in front of room 143. The door was shut and I was basically shaking in excitement and anxiousness and fear and nerves. I cracked the door open slowly, and when I walked in I immediately let out a choked out laugh from holding my breath.
There Clay stood with a witch hat over his blond hair that I have always wanted to run my hand through. He was holding a mistletoe shaped candy over his head as a nervous smile made its way in his face as the sight of me.
A blue sweater was loose on him, grey sweatpants cuffed over those stupid converse he wore every single day. "Happy birthday," he said, his voice shaking a tiny bit from nerves.
A small smile broke on my face, and I bit my lip to suppress it, slowly walking up to him. "You're my secret admirer."
"The one and only." His light eyes twinkled, and he shifted his weight anxiously.
And suddenly he was laughing, and I was laughing, and I walked over to him, and we were kissing under his stupid candy mistletoe. His hand was warm on my waist, cheek smooth under my touch. I leaned my body into him, soaking the feeling in. He tasted like chocolate and chapstick, and when I pulled away he sighed a little in relief.
"Surprise," he whispered against my lips.
"Why do you taste like chocolate?" I kept my eyes on him, memorizing the color so close to me.
Immediately a blush covered his cheeks, and he looked to the empty desks next to us. "I bought you some snacks, but I got hungry."
To save him from the embarrassment of eating beforehand, I took a piece of licorice from the package and smiled, biting into it. Another relieved sigh escaped his lips and he bit into the other side of the licorice in my mouth. We slowly bit into it in between giggles before sharing a sweet, candy filled kiss.
“The birthday boy is feeling pretty hungry,” I murmured when I pulled away.
Clay caught on quickly. "Well, somebody must treat him to lunch, then."
"I nominate you."
"Good thing i'm free right now."
As we started walking to his car, hand in hand, I asked, “Wait, so how did you find out my locker combination? And my class schedule?"
"Uhhh, it's kind of a funny story." He held out the box of candy he was holding in his other hand. "Chocolate kiss?"
And then I thought all the way back to Monday morning when I saw Clay arguing with the secretaries for something that invaded privacy. He was so adamant, so exasperated, so focused and passionate on getting something.
I thought it was boring at the time. So, that's what he was arguing with the secretaries about on Monday.
Smirking, I took the chocolate kiss from him and popped it into my mouth, swinging our hands back and forth. "Yeah, thanks."