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Prologue
"Did you ever love someone Shizune?" Sakura asked late one evening at their girl's night out. By now the girls had come to sitting together in The Nara estate finishing their last few drinks of the evening. Discussions of silly husbands and naughty children passed about.
Shizune looked up from her glass in hand locking eyes with Sakura. Heat rose to her face as suddenly all the girl's eyes were on her. Laughing nervously she broke eye contact "We've all loved someone; Traveling with Lady Tsunade never met with any nice young men just gambling drunks" she tried to redirect the conversation away. She still hadn't gotten over his death she realized. He still clung to her skin, she could still remind his touch, remember the tattooed summoning seals on her body, the depth of his remarkably colourful eyes. Kurenai's soft gaze remained on her "You still love him after all these years apart" she diagnosed much to Shizune's dismay.
Sakura placed the glass down, offering back a warm smile with the optimistic nature that drew others in "Girl's feelings don't change to easily; but now I'm far too curious who the mystery man is" She teased getting a twinkle in her eyes that Into mirrored. Even Temari's attention seemed capture by the remarks.
"Hey Tem-" Shikamaru's voice started "Mommmm!" another voice followed from the kitchen. "I told you two to stay out for it! If I have to come over there you two will regret it!" Temari yelled out, the girls trying to silence there laughter. Silence hung for a moment, the girls awaiting the Nara men's response. "Nevermind Mom" Shikadai's voice rang out. "Floor's yours" Temari chilled downing the last of her glass. Locking a competitive gaze with Ino.
Shizune could still get a nervous panic in her heart every time she thought back to meeting him. It's a downpour in the village that day on the way to the academy. She's started a week later than the rest of her class. It'll put her behind but Shizune isn't worried, she can study and catch up.
She reaches the academy drenched to the bone. "Are you cold?" a voice asks from behind her, a rain jacket is pulled over his head as he wanders ever so casually under the shelter. Further down the path, she can see behind him, other students. But her focus gets left with him, "You can borrow my jacket" He smiles slipping it off his shoulders handing it to her. Shizune is stunned silent staring at it. Red and white bright Uchiha symbol clearly adorning the back of it. As it does the rest of his clothing. He shakes it once more, raising an eyebrow but he's patient.
Shizune shyly takes the jacket from his hand wrapping it around her. Inside is wool, warm and soft. It's so finely made and clearly of high quality. His smile brightens "Shisui, Uchiha" he bows to her. This man has better manners than anyone she's ever met. "Shizune" she mumbles out not even managing her last name at the moment. "Pleasure to meet you Shizune, welcome to the academy" his voice draws her in but the young girl has no chance to keep talking to him. Another with the same crest comes crashing into him. Followed by three other boys (one who drags his feet, sparky white hair pretending not to be involved).
Shizune doesn't believe in love at first sight. Real-life isn't as romantic as the stories. But he's already someone she holds close to her heart. He makes her heart race, makes her feel different to anyone else.
The first time she really (and she means really) has a chance to get to know the boy is when she is assigned a seat next to him for a sealing jutsu class. The tutor (one she hasn't met before) believes in assigned seating, she can guess because the kids have very defined seats in any other class and often cause trouble. Namely Obito and Asuma she notices; both boys have more energy than sense.
Shisui is well versed in these she notices yet somehow he has a knack for acting less than a prodigy. Poking for questions, he passed casual conversations and sits so close. Somehow Shizune isn't nervous (or at least she isn't anymore). He has a calming voice, it's so knowledgeable yet peaceful. Shizune melts into it, melts into her words. Into the way he talks. Into the warmth his body emits.
He invites her to enjoy his friends after the classes. Shizune has found the greatest friends she could ever ask for.
The first time he nearly dies she is only a trainee medic. Only learning under the great Lady Tsunade. But she is the first on the scene, The only one there with medical ninjutsu so she has to act. Act fast. Shizune uses almost all her chakra in that few moments trying to save his life.
He coughs back to life. Rolling into her lap trying to catch his bearings. His teams roar into life at his sudden awareness. Shizune doesn't care for them right now focusing on Shisui, curled into her side his head in her lap trying to catch his breathing in the chilly evening air.
He manages to get to his knees with her help. Glancing up at her under his scruffy black hair "Thank you Shizune" he whispers leaning forward again. His breath is still damaged, his body still catching up with the shock. Shisui presses his head into her shoulder. At the crook of her neck.
It's so cheesy and romantic the first time they kiss. Shizune's not exaggerating either, it is cheesy and romantic like the books. They're all out late into the nights, all their classmates made chuunin. They're older now (or at least they all pretend to be such wise adults). The war is at the back of their minds for this evening, no one wishes to dwell on it.
Asuma and Genma had stolen drinks from their parents. The drinks are disgusting in her opinion, painful even. Why the boys find such fun in seeing who can manage to keep it down she isn't sure (Kai and Kurenai thankfully agree with her). Eventually, they all split into respective pairs.
Eventually, it's them. He's the most sober of the boys if only because they all know how his father would react to him returning home anything more. He walks her home as he usually does, the gentlemen he is. They pass over the bridge when she begins to see the dawn coming. "Oh my- It's already morning" Shizune laughs losing her step only to trip into his side.
He catches her with ease. His reactions are honed and skilled. Talents of a ninja. She looks up to him, follows the movement of his hair in the early morning's breeze. He watches how the light reflects her eyes.
Shizune has never been able to remember who moved first. Or even how long it takes them to move in the first place. She remembers every movement after they've met halfway. Remembers all the rules and formalities that go out the window right then.
Remembers just their moment, in the early morning dawn well everyone sleeps. So far away from privy eyes who'd ever so love to catch the Uchiha out on bad behaviour. She realises that this must be the beginning of the end. The moment they're so close, she knows it cannot last.
"I'm sorry Shizune" he whispers against her ear. Presses a gentle kiss to her temple. He's breaking so many rules sneaking into her house in the middle of the night but he isn't sure if this will be it. Only an hour before he finished his plan b, a suicide notice. just in case. if, who he suspects, comes after him then he has this in place for his death. This dream, this better future he'll entrust to the others. He can trust Itachi with them though he hates to do so.
Shisui sets the flower, hand-picked from his late mother's garden for her bedside. She'll know because his mother is the only one who grew these in the entire village. He hovers on the window still. Shisui has the chance now to wake her and run away. They could both just run away, he could live the clan behind maybe. But he can't. He can't do that to his clan, to her. The village is her home, and the clan needs to see some light before they've ruined any chance that is left. With a heavy heart, he drops from her window, slips away in the shadows like no one else.
"Please forgive me Shizune"
Shizune stirs in the early hours of the morning. Rubs her eyes awake rolling to her side. The silvery colouration of a flower she doesn't even know by name. Only knows it from the garden of Shisui's grand clan house. Shizune smiles, to begin with reaching for it, to think he was here during the night without waking her. It takes her a few moments holding it in her hand, twirling it in her fingers above her head for the realisation to sink in. Her heart sinks as it starts to make sense, Shisui was raised with very high standards to treat women. Of what a proper gentleman should do. He always broke the odd rules for her, for the fact they knew the time they had was limited as it was but this? This was pushing it even for him. He'd have sat on her roof by the window waiting for her to sense his chakra but to come in uninvited sent her heart sinking. He meant he couldn't have faced her.
Shizune scrambles out, delicate with the gifted flower on her bedside table. Rushes from the house and searches the streets. She knows the way to the Uchiha compound. It doesn't take her long before the grand stone walls face her. The clan crest painted on them every few meters. She navigates the streets with ease, searching each face for his.
Not him,
Not him
Not him, he'd always appear by now sneaking up behind her only to walk casually at her side.
"Shizune?" She spins around in an instant but it wasn't his voice. "Itachi!" She speaks. His face is worn, tired. She can tell he has been crying recently. The question is on her lips; Shizune isn't sure how much Itachi knows, knows how close the two cousins are that she doesn't doubt much. "Walk with me" he offers holding a gentle reach pointing her direction. Shizune doesn't fight it, follows him calmly. He leads her away from the compound. Away from eyes and ears. She knows news that is coming.
"Shizune I'm sorry. Shisui is ... he has ..-" Itachi begins he hesitates for reasons Shizune isn't sure. If he is trying to spare her some horrid fate or if he too is trying to figure out what has become of his best friend "Committed suicide" he makes out in an uneasy tone.
Shizune breaks down, falls onto her knees. Itachi is down beside her in the instant holding onto her. He's trying to be of comfort but it isn't helping. Her's worlds crashing down again, the flower makes sense. It's a parting gift, it's his apology note because she knows at the moment he wasn't bravest to wake her. Shisui was always the one playing adult, always the responsible, always the one they looked too yet that didn't make him the bravest. The bravest of the fears that sat at the back of his mind. Fear's he'd whisper to her alone.
Shizune realises the moment Sakura is put under her care of tutelage of learning the medical care behind the Sharingan. It is only Kakashi and Sasuke now who possess such a gifted curse. Yet Shizune doesn't miss the painful sorrow that Tsunade gives her as her own form of an apology when Sakura is basically dropped in front of her. Both of them know how intimately she knew the Sharingan. How intimately she knew the pathways of chakra that moved behind his eyes. How intimately she knew the change in colour, the turn of the tomes and the spin of his Mangekyou Sharingan. The vibrant green of the Susanoo as it protected them.
What she didn't realise was how much in reality she had missed him all these years. Their relationship was never set to last, with the ideals and standards set upon him from the beginning to uphold some right, some divine order of his eyes he wasn't allowed to love who he'd wanted. He'd have that chosen for him. Yet as teenagers, the idea of running away, together and free, was such a blissful idea that Shizune had truly fallen for. Then who wouldn't with his crisp cut face, a carefree smile that radiated hope in the darkest place, his soft eyes that never held hatred regardless of how much the world tried.
The day is spent teaching Sakura. The nights are spent remembering Shisui. She ponders over old scrolls, remembers the man who used to lounge behind her without a single care yet they plagued his mind. He'd rolled around the grass watching clouds or feeding crows. She'd feel him watching her back and wonder what he must be thinking about. Feeling his hands drifting down the edges of her hair, making her laugh trying to brush him off. Only to be dragged down to his side. Alone he was more bashful, more obvious with his movements, more affectionate. In public, he acted the ever-present gentlemen, as he did to them all. The girls would swoon over him. He'd never look twice, always had eyes for her that she swears he made it obvious without even knowing it.
"Shizune" his voice calls her awake like a song lyric. He comes trotting to her side. A stick poked from his smiling mouth. There is a spark of childlike naughtiness in his eyes. She knows his team has probably just done something stupid and awaiting their consequence. "Shisui" She smiles backdropping her gaze to the ground trying to hide the burning blush creeping over her face. They can hear girl's calling his name from the other side of the street, he barely moves with a wave of his hand still smiling brightly "Ladies" he response taking no time to pick out who is who calling to him. Instead, all he wants is to walk beside her through the streets.
Sakura asks her one morning why Shizune is teaching her instead of Tsunade for only this. She doesn't know how to reply to the young girl before her. It feels like Sakura would understand, falling for the last Uchiha herself. But Shizune can't form words about him still these days. It is still too raw. "I always had a deep interest in visual jutsu and the Sharingan" Shizune gets out instead covering a nervous laugh she hopes Sakura doesn't pry. For whatever reason, she doesn't. Maybe Sakura knows, knows she isn't the only one who has fallen for the charms of the Uchiha clan. Shisui wasn't ever going to be hers in reality, he was the head family's closest cousin. Should their family fall his takes their place. So much put upon his shoulders that he never wanted. The whispers late at night with stars reflected in their eyes show her how much Shisui would prefer a quiet life with her, the odd mission to keep his skills but never enough he isn't home.
She feels it first. Pausing in her fretting with Sakura. The same feeling she hasn't had in so many years, but it is a feeling you never forget. The Chakra of the man you love, that doesn't ever leave you. They're already rushing out (Probably because Sakura has realized the chakra with them is Sarada and the others).
The chatter is drowned up just staring at him. He no longer wears the headband, instead, his forehead and down his eyes are wrapped in a thick bandage (Shizune guesses they took his eyes years ago. Stripped him of his clan's secret). He stands still like a shinobi with Sarada hand latched onto his wrist explaining to Sakura that he's an Uchiha like them, That he rescued them, "Momma he can summon a demon wind shuriken from his back!" Sarada is the most ecstatic there (Of course she is, He's an Uchiha like her). She remembered the day he applied the summoning seal. To match those on his wrist for other weapons.
"Shizune" his voice tickle the back of her mind "I'm sure that's you" He breaths out. Doesn't move, doesn't flinch, lets the naughty smile of his creep up his face. That smile that pretended he hadn't just broken some rule with his team. That Asuma hadn't goated him into spray painting old walls. That Kakashi hadn't just lost to him in a spare.
"You died" It's all she can get out as the all go silent. It's all she can think about, Itachi's voice, the flower she still has pressed in her old journal. "I'm sorry Shizune, I didn't mean too. I had to do something for the clan I just, wished it could have gone differently." He tries to explain. For years she has known Sakura and Sasuke keep what happened as does the village a quiet secret from Sarada. Most of the clan's history is a secret. Somehow Shisui seems to have caught onto that fact in the short time he's known her.
Shizune realises Sarada's released his capture now. Sakura's eyes are on her questioning what connection Shizune has to him. Shisui doesn't move (In reality he probably isn't fully aware of these new surroundings without in his blinded state). "Shisui" She murmurs again it can't be real. Then suddenly it can't be, it has to be some sort of genjutsu or trick. Some white Zetsu.
"I need to know it's really you; In the war, the white Zetsu were pretty good at masking chakra Shisui- I need something personal" Shizune forces out pressing back the tears of this potential trick. Shisui's smile doesn't fade as he remains quiet. He never was one to speak so quickly. "The flower I left you, that purple one?-" Shisui begins "Lavender" she quickly corrects then again did the boys ever really pay attention to the deep meaning of the colours of flowers? "-Ah yes a very specific purple lavender-" he corrects himself with a laugh she knows so familiarly, in a tone so him "- What happened to it? I gave it to you the evening I left" he relives the experience. He's sure something so personal would have passed outside of them. The flower is the deepest thing he could remember between them.
He waits in silent seeking out her response but he doesn't pressure it. It wouldn't be him to do so anyway. He knows why Shizune holds them in silence like this. Guessed the White Zetsu aren't quite this good at their disguise. When Shizune finally lets up, her chakra moves quicker then he follows at the moment. Latching onto him. Grabs a hold of him jut as she always did upon his mission returns. Yanking him down to her height (when had he gotten so much taller than her?) Shizune smiled back leaning into her touch. His forehead pressing into the crock of her neck. Breaths back in that scent of the medical sprays, of flowers and rose petals.
"Thank you for keeping your promise"