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Secret Confessions (Chaelisa)

Summary:

In the aftermath of a harrowing rescue from a doomsday cult, Lisa grapples with her burgeoning feelings for Chaeyoung.

Notes:

Chaeyoung had escaped the palace after a disagreement with Jennie and is immediately kidnapped by members of a cult dedicated to Hanaju. After a thrilling and action-packed dramatic sequence that I did not write, Lisa rescued Chaeyoung.

>Jennie and Chaeyoung can communicate telepathically to some extent via an emphatic link, due to their secondary divine souls' bond.

>They also own a pair of magical rings (sapphire for Jennie, ruby for Chaeyoung) that helps them to control their powers better because it acts as a restraint.

Work Text:

The door slammed open as Seulgi burst into Jennie's chamber, panting. "Your majesty! They're back!"

Jennie and Jisoo stood up so abruptly the table crashed to the ground with the metal goblets skittering underfoot.

"Oh my stars, are they alright? Are they safe? Please tell me they're safe!" Jennie begged, tears gleaming in her eyes. 

Her empathic link with Chaeyoung meant she experienced the entirety of Chaeyoung's pain, panic and hopelessness before the link was severed because either Chaeyoung blacked out or something even more terrible had happened, leaving Jennie hysterical.

Jisoo put a comforting arm around her as Seulgi spoke up again. "We don't know, your majesty. Our scouts have spotted two people approaching on horseback. When I investigated, it looked very much like the captain's steed."

"Prepare Chaeyoung's bed chamber to receive her," Jisoo ordered, taking charge as Jennie clung to her, "and alert the palace doctor. Increase the patrol guards posted around the castle, I will join you shortly in case there might be attempts to take Chaeyoung back. Double the search parties, we must be sure to comb every area for those bastards, lest they're still roaming around. Tomorrow, I'm interrogating every single one of the servants. This is a serious breach. The kidnappers knew Chaeyoung's whereabouts, they had just been lying in wait for her. And send out reinforcements to cover for Lisa, in case they're being pursued."

"Consider it done. And I already sent out Joy and Yeri to fetch them."

"Very good. Dismiss."

Seulgi saluted and ran out as Jisoo saluted back.

"Jagi?" Jisoo lifted Jennie's chin up, heart clenching on beholding the fresh tears welling up in Jennie's eyes. "We have to go meet them. They'll be here any minute now, safe and sound and I'll see to it that nothing will get them again."

"I...I can't...I let...it's my fault..." Jennie buried her face in her hands. "If I had only tried to talk to her some other time, when she wasn't fuming at us, she wouldn't have gotten mad and run out to the woods. She wouldn't have been kidnapped, she would have been safe! Oh stars, I'll wipe those vermin off the face of the land if they touched my Chaengramji."

Jisoo hugged her tightly as Jennie sobbed against her chest. "Jennie, I need you to pull yourself together, just for a few moments more. I need you to be the Empress, to reassure people, to put their minds at ease. Can you do that, jagi?" she asked tenderly, wiping Jennie's tears with her thumbs. "I know it's torture, but we have to keep a stiff upper lip until we can assess the situation better."

Jennie sniffed one final time and closed her eyes, clearing her throat. "You're right. People can't see me being a mess, I'm their ruler. I need to set an example." 

She breathed in and out two times before opening her eyes again and taking Jisoo's proffered hand, fingers intertwining.

"I'm right next to you, your majesty," Jisoo said quietly.

Jennie gave a short nod. "Let's go."

>

Leo thundered along the uneven road with his mane flying behind him, kicking up clods of dirt as Lisa urged him to run faster and faster towards the palace awash in the moon's gentle glow.

But there was nothing gentle about Lisa right now; her blood was boiling, her heat beating frantically as she tugged at the reins in desperation.

Her mind screamed out one word, over and over: Chaeyoung! Chaeyoung! Chaeyoung!

Chaeyoung was currently balanced precariously behind her, her body resting heavily against Lisa's and her arms frighteningly limp around her waist. Lisa had one arm twisted backwards to hold Chaeyoung from slipping off. 

The ligaments and tendons screamed in protest as she strained to hold the girl securely but Lisa didn't care about the pain at the moment—Chaeyoung was unresponsive, the shock and whatever those bastard cultists did to her catching up after she bravely fought by Lisa's side.

"Chaeyoung-ah, hang on! I got you!" Lisa cried in anguish. Tears pricked at her eyes, blurring the landscape into a mass of black and grey as she stubbornly shook her head to clear her vision.

"Please, just a little more!"

She gritted her teeth when the gash at her side stung with every movement of her body bouncing up and down, gnawing at her grip on consciousness. The suffocating smell of woodsmoke clung to her clothes and to Chaeyoung, burning her throat and stinging her eyes every time she caught a whiff of it.

They rode on, away from the demonic chanting and cloaked shadows; away from the nauseating smell of blood, earth and burning flesh; away from the towering pyre that Chaeyoung had been strapped to; and away from the all consuming blaze devouring everything in its path as it chased after the robber that stole its sacrifice, screaming fiendishly as Lisa and Chaeyoung made their getaway.

Just when they were within sight of the palace, Leo stepped into a pothole and stumbled to the ground with a startled harrumph, catapulting Lisa and taking Chaeyoung down with her. On instinct, Lisa covered Chaeyoung's head and clutched her body close as they rolled and tumbled on the ground, eventually coming to a juddering halt with Lisa cushioning Chaeyoung's body.

The world was still doing cartwheels when Lisa opened her eyes, stunned from the sudden fall. Aches and new bruises flared up immediately all over her body but Lisa's one concern was Chaeyoung—she laid on top of Lisa, motionless.

And she wasn't breathing.

"Chaeng! Chaeng, talk to me!" Lisa scrambled to sit up in panic, shaking Chaeyoung from her shoulders. "Speak to me! Wake up!" Chaeyoung's head rolled back, not even registering Lisa's frenzied shouts. Her face was streaked with dirt and paint, token of the cultists' doing before Lisa had arrived on the scene.

On the verge of breaking down, Lisa passed her fingers beneath Chaeyoung's nose, despairing when she felt no flutter of air.

"Princess, please...." Lisa's hands shook violently, her voice quavering. "Please... don't give up on me...not now...not yet..." She grasped Chaeyoung's face, tears falling shamelessly. "Come on, I'm taking you home."

Despite her rough appearance, Chaeyoung looked ethereal in the moonlight, almost as if she were asleep. Lisa was mesmerised for one moment before she quickly hefted the unconscious girl in her arms and started to run, her mind scattered in all directions. She didn't even notice Leo ambling up behind her, too focused on getting help to climb back on her horse.

"Help! Somebody help!" Lisa shouted into the night, her voice impossibly small and distressed, mockingly carried away by the breeze. "Help me....somebody...anybody...Chaeyoung-ah..."

She's dying, she choked on the poisonous thought, Chaeyoung is dying and I haven't yet told her what she means to me. I haven't told her...

On and on she ran towards the palace, even though it seemed like she wasn't getting anywhere nearer. Dark spots dotted her vision at the corners of her eyes. Her arms trembled with the effort of holding up Chaeyoung's weight, with her shoulders nearly popping out of their sockets and her sure-footed stride staggering more often. The shadows were thick and heavy, ready to swallow them up into the cold darkness, beckoning and tempting.

But Lisa ignored it all and ran.

Her mind was numb as she repeated one word in her head, like a prayer that would save them both: Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung....

Leo still followed behind trotting leisurely as his mistress scrambled onward. Lisa thought she heard another set of hooves cantering towards them but she didn't know what was real anymore, too overwhelmed to assess her bearings. 

Fatigue and shock slammed into her repeatedly like multiple tidal waves intent on breaking her and tossing her around like driftwood, sapping her remaining strength: Lisa succumbed before she even realised what was happening.

Her legs gave way; she sank to the ground with Chaeyoung in her arms, crying as helplessly as a newborn. "I can't do this...I can't save her!" she sobbed, holding Chaeyoung close as she wept against her shoulder, dirty blonde hair tickling her runny nose. "Chaeyoung, if you can still hear me, fight. Fight for me princess...please. I've got you, I'm not letting go."

So saying, Lisa stood up straggingly once more, lurching with each step and gnashing her teeth as her body responded brutally to her resolve to bring Chaeyoung home: every step was like stepping on razor sharp blades, her lungs burned with each ragged breath and her heart slammed into her ribcage, fighting to escape. She had stitches in her side from running too hard and the warm trickle of blood from her wound hadn't stopped gushing, coating her thigh.

But Lisa hoisted Chaeyoung tighter in her arms and limped forward, grunting with each step.

"Captain!"

Lisa looked up at the call, gripping protectively on to Chaeyoung and reaching for her sword with her other hand in case it was their pursuers having caught up to them. She was going to fight the filthy bastards that dare lay a hand on her princess till her last dying breath. Lisa raised her sword and brushed a quick kiss against Chaeyoung's brow as two horseback soldiers rushed towards them bearing torches.

Squinting against the glow of the twin flames, relief immediately swept away Lisa's hostility when she recognised the two riders.

"Joy! Yerim!" she called urgently, "it's Chaeyoung-ah, she's hurt, she's not breathing, save her, please—"

"We got her, boss," Yeri reassured as Joy jumped down from her horse and took Chaeyoung from Lisa, working quickly and methodically to strap the unconscious girl behind her saddle.

Yeri meanwhile took Lisa's shaking hands, speaking soothingly. "Let's get you home too, look, here's Leo. How come you're not riding him—Captain?!"

Yeri staggered as Lisa collapsed in her arms and closed her eyes, finally letting darkness take over.

>

"How is she?"

"Still asleep."

"And...and her flame? Is it still burning? They didn't take that away did they?"

"..."

"Jagiya..."

Lisa was aroused from her sleep by voices, more specifically Jennie and Jisoo's hushed whispers. A dart of pain rushed through her side, waking her further. She frowned, eyes still closed.

How strange, she didn't remember getting hurt from her last training session with Chaeyoung.

But immediately the onslaught of memories had her remember what happened and she sat bolt upright, gasping for breath.

"Chaeyoung! Where is she?!" she yelled, startling Jisoo who flew off her seat.

"Lisa!" Jennie came rushing to her side, blocking Lisa from getting out of bed. "You mustn't move, you're hurt, your wound—"

"Where's Chaeyoung?" Lisa demanded, gripping Jennie from her flimsy nightdress. "Is she alright? Is she...is she...?" she swallowed horribly, unable to finish the sentence but Jennie cottoned on.

"She's safe. She's alive and well," Jennie said softly. "I communicated with her a while ago, via our empathy link. She didn't respond but I felt her energy. She's on the mend and is sleeping."

"I have to go—"

"No you don't," Jennie said sternly as she forced an agitated Lisa to sit back. "Your wound is still closing up so the less you move the better. You can go see her later. Chaeyoung isn't waking up anytime soon."

Lisa relented, sinking back on her bed as she ran her fingertips over the bandages at her side, inspecting the angry red skin around it. She hoped it wasn't the start of some infection. It stung like a hive of bees at the lightest touch.

"You're clear, I patched it up myself," Jennie said, observing Lisa inspecting the bandages. "There was no poison on the blade that cut you, thankfully. It was a clean slash."

"What happened out there?" Jisoo asked softly, shuffling closer. "We know the perpetrators are Hanaju's cult."

Lisa stiffened. "How long have I been out?" she asked instead.

"Just the night. And right now, it's just after breakfast. Which reminds me...." Jisoo stepped back and uncovered a tray of food for Lisa. "Peckish?"

She frowned when Lisa shook her head. 

"Not yet, unnie."

"Oh?" Jisoo threw a glance at Jennie before going to sit next to Lisa, easily slinging an arm around the quiet captain. 

"I know what happened must have been upsetting," Jisoo said softly. "And I know remembering it is torture right now. But the more information we have on their numbers and activities, the better idea we can have of the threat we're facing. They might try to come back for Chaeyoung....and maybe even Jennie."

Lisa heaved a great sigh and clasped her hands together. "I know, you're right. It's just...just...I can't think without feeling overwhelmed again..."

She was surprised when Jennie's hand covered her own.

"I understand, Lisa," Jennie said. She looked exhausted, with dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. "I felt...everything."

Lisa remembered Jennie and Chaeyoung's empathic link and she was suddenly overcome with remorse for the girl in front of her.

Jennie had no idea what had been going on during the hours Chaeyoung went missing, yet she had experienced all the pain and emotions Chaeyoung had endured throughout the entire ordeal. That was ten times more terrifying, not knowing what was causing the pain, not knowing what was coming next.

"It...it was...awful..." Lisa whispered. "I...never saw anything like it. They had her up on a burning pyre, burning at the stake.  The fire was too strong and it quickly burned up the wood and reached her. All around her was smoke and fire and those horrible chanting people and she was crying and screaming when I rushed in there...."

"She wasn't burned though thank goodness, she didn't have any burns..." Jennie said, gripping Lisa's hand tightly for comfort. "But what's that black brand on her stomach? I don't know why but it feels...wicked, somehow. It feels...wrong."

"It's their mark," Jisoo spoke up. "I looked it up. The Mark of Hanaju and his followers. But they don't use it anywhere, it's like a sacred seal. But why brand Chaeyoung with it?"

"I don't know," Lisa said after a beat of silence. "Their chief guy was screaming something like 'show yourself Hanaju almighty, be freed from your earthly shackles!' "

She looked at Jisoo and Jennie's horrified faces and gulped. "They were going to burn Chaeyoung alive to release him from his earthly vessel. They wanted to unleash him on us all and kill her in the process."

"Crazy!" Jisoo seethed, "absolute madness!"

"Well what do you expect from Hanaju's followers? They're a doomsday cult," Jennie retorted. "They think he'll spare them, most likely, while the world burns to ashes. Blind fanatic fools that they are. Thinking the world will be cleansed but they will be spared. As if!"

"We must find them," Jisoo stressed as she got up and started pacing around, hands behind her back. "Today I'm going to be conducting interrogations and then we must send out scouts to locate their camps—"

"Jisoo we're already spread thin, we can't afford to send out people in the likely case the fanatics will be staying in the same place," Jennie argued, standing up to take Jisoo by the hand.

"We must chance it! They can't have gone far!"

"Jisoo please be reasonable! They're not the most significant threat to us right now, there's my brother and that snake secretary of his to consider in the equation—"

"I can't have them come back and take you this time as well, Jennie!" Jisoo barked. She drew a breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. "What you experienced through Chaeyoung...I will never forgive myself if you actually go through it, or worse...."

"I can defend myself well enough, it's you I'd worry about!" Jennie fired back, eyes flinty. "With your leg, you'd make easy picking!"

"Let's not get into me right now, this is about you. You know damn well I can take care of myself, leg or no leg. Besides, it's you that people will target," Jisoo pointed out. "Chaeyoung could have defended herself too, but for some reason she didn't! What makes you think you could be any different? What if they manage to knock you out before you get a chance to do anything?"

"Wow, I know you all think I'm cowardly and not strong enough to take on my enemies but that's low, even for you, Chu," Jennie said angrily. "You underestimate my abilities."

"I don't! I'm just being practical! Chaeyoung could have burned down a whole swath of the forest but she was blocked, somehow! I...I can't risk you being in danger," Jisoo insisted. 

She clutched on to Jennie's hands, desperation colouring her voice. "I love you. Trust me when I say, you're far more powerful than you believe, and I know that. But it's...it's my selfishness talking right now. I can't risk your safety, at all. If I have to, I'd keep you chained to me, so I won't let you out of my sight."

(mention chi block, the reason for Chaeyoung being unable to defend herself)

When Jennie didn't reply, Jisoo raised their joined hands and kissed Jennie's knuckles. "Jennie, we must flush them out as soon as we can. They're nothing but trouble. They'll go to any length to achieve their goals," Jisoo said urgently. "Lisa, what do you think—Lisa?"

Both girls paused, realising that in the midst of their heated discussion, Lisa had quietly slipped out of the room.

>

They found her leaning over Chaeyoung.

Lisa was inspecting the sleeping girl closely, her fingers combing through Chaeyoung's long blonde strands.

Chaeyoung's face had been scrubbed clean of paint, dirt and smoke; her scratches and bruises had been treated and she wore fresh nightclothes.

Lisa closed her eyes and inhaled the sweet scent of lavender and fresh laundry cloaking the sleeping girl. The smell of smoke lingered only in memory. She couldn't express the overwhelming swell of relief that bloomed in her chest as she watched Chaeyoung's chest rising and falling, her pulse throbbing beneath Lisa's touch. Jennie's healing water power had no doubt saved her, pulling Chaeyoung from sinking into an eternal dark abyss.

"I'm sorry," Lisa whispered, "I'm so sorry..." she held Chaeyoung's hand with both hers, pressing it to her forehead as tears welled up behind her closed eyelids.

When Jisoo and Jennie entered the room, Lisa straightened in her seat next to the sleeping girl and looked away, using her sleeve to wipe her face.

"I'll stand guard with her," Lisa said hoarsely. She didn't look at either of her friends. "Jisoo you're busy and Jennie....you have your duties. I'll stand watch over Chaeyoung-ah."

A silent nod of understanding passed between the Empress and her general as they noticed Lisa clutching on tightly to Chaeyoung's hand.

"I'll have someone bring you food later," Jisoo said finally, "and maybe Wendy can relieve you—"

"No," Lisa said brusquely, "she's my responsibility. I'm staying."

"But it might take days, weeks to wake up, the maids need to wash her—"

"I can step out during that time, to give her privacy. But otherwise, I'm staying," Lisa said with an air of finality.

And thus Lisa stayed by Chaeyoung's side for three days and three nights.

Chaeyoung slept on, oblivious to the silent guardian watching over her with tender emotions spilling from her eyes.

>

Lisa slept little; she was used to sleeping with one eye open, as Jisoo often joked when they had been soldiers in arms.

"Lalisa can sleep with one eye open, to keep a lookout," Jisoo would laugh when everyone marvelled at Lisa's abilities to spring up into battle at a moment's notice, as well as her ability to immediately curl up anywhere and sleep for an entirety of a few dozen heartbeats, whereupon she'd wake up, refreshed and ready for action.

Of course she didn't actually sleep with one eye open—Lisa was just a very light sleeper, easily awakened by any slight creak or movement.

Her ability proved on the one hand to be useful but also maddening—during the time she spent watching over Chaeyoung, she'd frequently spring awake because she fancied Chaeyoung had shifted or moved; distant clatters and voices would rouse her; nightmares mixed and multiplied, scaring her awake...

"What if she never wakes up?" Lisa dared to ask Jennie who visited at one point. She gripped the fabric of her pants tightly. "What if..."

Jennie immediately stuck out her hand. "I'm going to stop you right there. Chaeyoung is waking up—I can sense her returning. She's just recharging and recovering from the ordeal, internally. It drained her psyche, emotionally and mentally. Even after she wakes up, it might take some time to heal properly, we'll see how it goes for fire training, if she's up for it." She sighed. "Well, the only good thing out of this is that it will throw a wrench in my brother's plans for war."

"Will...will she be safe....without the ring?" Lisa asked softly, voicing out the question hanging over their heads.

Chaeyoung's ruby ring which was Jennie's sapphire ring twin—the one fail-safe they had that restrained the fire god and prevented from him taking over Chaeyoung entirely—had been destroyed. 

Lisa had recounted how she had watched helplessly while one of the cloaked cult members smashed it with a hammer, all the while mumbling and chanting as other members danced and screeched dementedly around him in a circle.

"I'll protect us if I have to," Jennie said determinedly, "and Chaeyoung's been building up her control, I'm sure she won't just turn volatile and unleash godly fire on us all—"

"No no," Lisa interrupted. "I mean....will she be safe from him?"

"Hanaju?" Jennie bit her lip, casting a worried gaze upon Chaeyoung. "Jisoo said the brand isn't just an ordinary hot-iron brand, she researched more about it. It seems to be of an archaic design, and it's even attributed as Hanaju's creation. It's intricately connected to him because some say he imbued the seal with his own essence and which is then able to duplicate and give someone branded with the seal some of Hanaju's essence. His followers use it rarely, it's more like a token of Hanaju, a proof of him still existing amongst us because if branded with it, ordinary mortals could go insane, or go on killing sprees, or just die....but Chaeyoung..."

"....isn't an ordinary mortal because she's hosting him in her body," Lisa finished Jennie's unspoken sentence. She clenched her fist. "But why did they brand her? Why hypothetically imbue her with more of Hanaju's essence if their main goal was to extract him?" 

(to give him enough strength to take over rosie)

"Who knows what goes on in their twisted minds," Jennie said darkly. "And now that her ring was destroyed as well....we must be on our guard at all times. Chaeyoung could be a potential threat to all our safety if left unchecked," she decided. "We must be vigilant and keep an eye out on her indefinitely, lest Hanaju strikes out somehow, through her. I'll consult with Jisoo about keeping a close watch. We need to re-think strategies, about her going out and interacting with people...we need to seriously re-arrange everything. Maybe she should stay in isolation for a while too, to be safe."

Lisa's face tightened. 

Chaeyoung had hated being kept locked up and isolated the first time she had been taken to the palace, chained up like a dog as she screamed in fiery rage and breathed fire. The highly volatile blaze nearly burned down her holding cell and melted the metal bars. Lisa still remembered Chaeyoung pleading and crying as she passed by her cell.

"Jen but... don't lock her up or anything," Lisa pleaded. "She's....she's still our Chaeyoung. You know, just....treat her humanely."

Jennie's face softened. "I know. But...as the Empress, I must make some hard decisions to ensure people sleep easy at night. Please understand. We can't afford to take chances with one of our own. There's still my brother to deal with. This incident should buy us some time to stall his plans for war, but we can't have Chaeyoung turn into a liability."

"It's not me that has to understand, it's Chaeyoung," Lisa gritted. "How do you think she'll feel about being locked up again and treated like a dangerous criminal? The first time was hard enough, what about now?"

Jennie eyed her curiously but didn't comment anything again except a short "we'll talk later."

Now, three days and three nights later, Lisa was still churning over this fact, still coming to terms that the Chaeyoung that will soon wake up might not be the same Chaeyoung she had recently grown to harbour strange but delightful feelings for, almost like butterflies fluttering delicately in her chest.

And Lisa, she could only marvel in awe at how the butterflies swarmed in her gut and came alive whenever she glimpsed Chaeyoung smiling sweetly at her.

Or when Chaeyong passed her some piece of food.

Or when Chaeyoung grinned at her as they practised together in the courtyard.

Or when Chaeyoung took off her top dress when they went for a dip in the refreshing sea.

Or when Chaeyoung stormed out on them when Jennie had told them her decision regarding their involvement in the war.

Or when she realised that someone had snatched Chaeyoung.

Or when she cut Chaeyoung free from the stake on top of the burning pyre and Chaeyoung reached out to her, sobbing and powerless as she wrapped her arms around Lisa in a cathartic embrace...

The butterflies fluttered their wings more urgently now, as though aware of Lisa's inner turmoil. She wrestled with several thoughts at once, each clamouring to be heard over the other.

But pre-eminent amongst them was the unbearable thought of losing Chaeyoung again, through one way or another. 

If not at the hands of a band of bloodthirsty fanatics or some mad god, then it would be at the hands of the people that shunned Chaeyoung and unintentionally drove her towards the very darkness they wished to protect her from.

The future had always looked bleak, no matter which way Lisa looked. They were surrounded by enemies—it was a matter of choosing which side to fight first.

But all that seemed to pale in comparison when Lisa came face to face with the terrifying prospect of never seeing Chaeyoung's smile and pout, never seeing her fume or cry, never seeing her alive and free again.

"Princess, what am I to do?" Lisa sighed quietly in the empty room. "When I sided with Jennie and Jisoo...everything almost fell apart. And now, although Jennie is right of course...yet I can't bear to see you locked up again..."

She sat on the bed, ignoring the invitingly empty space next to Chaeyoung on the mattress—once she slipped in beside her, all the loud thoughts faded away, as though Chaeyoung was her own oasis of calm and tranquility.

Lisa sometimes slipped in to share the same bed with Chaeyoung, keeping to one side out of respect but ending up cuddling with her when she inevitably started awake. It was pleasant, waking up to a warm body sharing the same bed. Goodness knows, ever since Lisa stopped seeing her nightly conquests her bed had been emptier but with Chaeyoung around, her heart had never seemed fuller.

Currently she was sitting on the bed after having taken a quick bath , gazing down on Chaeyoung's face perfectly illuminated by the light of the moon, the same moon that watched them evade death and run for their lives mere days ago.

"Whichever way I look at it, you're always in danger," Lisa said quietly. "Whilst you have that god residing within you, you will always be in danger. Either I lose you to possession and insanity, either I lose you to war, either I lose you to people who are scared of you and want you gone..."

She gripped her chest tightly, right above her heart. "Whichever way I look at it, I'm bound to lose you. I'm bound to end up broken," she croaked, "and Chaeyoung, it hurts so much to think....to think....it almost happened right in front of my eyes....because I wasn't careful enough."

She swallowed the rock lodged in her throat and went on. "I know you probably don't see me the way I do, the way I have been seeing you lately. I know you think I'm this arrogant cocky little shit. And you're probably angry at me again for siding with Jennie and Jisoo. But I can't stay away from you, princess. I just can't. You're...you've become my reason to wake up and smile. You inspire me...to be a better version of myself and forgive myself. I promised to protect you but I nearly failed. Life...life would absolutely lose its meaning if you aren't here to live it with us...with me."

Lisa intertwined her fingers with Chaeyoung's cool ones and bent close to whisper in her ear. "Wanna know why? Because you have taken over me, Chaeyoung-ah. Because in you, I recognise my equal, capable of challenging me and completing me wholly. It took me watching you almost die in my arms to realise why I'm feeling this way."

She gave a wry smile and continued. "The simple truth is, I can't make it without you. All my life had been building up to the moment when we'd meet in the forest, both of us hunting and challenging each other to back down first. You see, since the beginning we were the bickering pair!" Lisa chuckled.

Her eyes softened as she straightened up to admire Chaeyoung's features. Small nose, her full cheeks, puckered lips.

"Look at me, speaking my heart while you're asleep. Typical. I'm such a coward Chaeyoung-ah. I could never be brave and forthright like you. You speak up whenever something's wrong and you never back down. You say I'm brave...but I don't have your brand of bravery, the most honourable one. I can't even be honest with you, straight to your face."

"But regardless," she added, "I will always be your protector, even if you ignore me and avoid me and run away. Here's my new promise: I'm going to run fast and far enough to protect you, always. Nothing will keep me from chasing after you. I'm not scared of dying, but I don't want to die anymore. I want to stay alive just to see you living your life, the life you deserve, free from all pain and sadness if possible. I will do my utmost to make sure you get that."

She hovered over Chaeyoung, smiling at the sleeping girl and feeling all her insides come alive the longer she looked. It was incredible what a mushy sap Chaeyoung turned her into after a few months of knowing each other and strangest of all, Lisa didn't care. She wanted to drop her facade if it meant finally freeing herself from the burden of her secret feelings for Chaeyoung.

"I'll be right beside you, every step of the way if you'll let me," Lisa concluded, tenderly stroking her cheek, "my princess."

Surprising even herself with her unusual gentleness, Lisa closed her eyes and kissed Chaeyoung sweetly on the lips as she supported her body so as not to crush the sleeping girl.

And immediately, Lisa was addicted. Pillowy lips, slightly chapped but still just as wonderfully soft and warm and alive—Lisa pressed down again lightly, her heart exploding over and over again in a powerful burst of light and noise, deafening her in the process when their lips touched.

It wasn't a mind-blowing kiss—Chaeyoung wasn't even responding—but the catharsis the action brought along caused Lisa an indescribable sense of fulfilment, as though all the hardships, all her pain and heartbreak were building up and culminating for this single moment of realisation: this, right here, was where Lisa belonged, with the sleeping girl who completed her heart and matched her soul.

This was all Lisa could allow herself, a stolen kiss in the middle of the night—a coward's kiss, without any consent whatsoever because she was certain Chaeyoung would reject her otherwise.

But suddenly, Lisa was thrown on her back by a powerful force slamming her into the mattress. She blinked up in surprise, her jaw falling open when she saw Chaeyoung towering over her, eyes ablaze with shock.

"L-Lisa?" Chaeyoung whispered, sitting back on her legs. Her fingers touched her lips and her eyes glazed over. She sounded dazed. "What in heavens—"

Lisa reckoned she had never moved so fast before as she stammered out an apology and fell out of bed, rushing out of the room before Chaeyoung could realise what had happened.

Her mind screamed at her to stop and think this through but like a startled horse, there was no stopping Lisa: she ran helter skelter away from the bemused girl, utterly mortified by the unexpected turn of events.

What had she done? What had she done?!

All the courage she summoned to confess evaporated the moment Chaeyoung gazed down at her and Lisa was reminded why she had spoken her words whilst safe in the knowledge that Chaeyoung wasn't conscious—she was too cowardly to admit her burgeoning feelings out in the open because that would change everything, for good.

And she wasn't ready. She wasn't prepared. Heck, she wasn't even worthy of Chaeyoung!

In terrible haste to run away from her mortification and the many questions she could not face right now, Lisa ran to the stables and quickly led out her trusty steed Leo, who whinnied happily to see his mistress. Lisa didn't even bother with a saddle; she hoisted herself up on his bareback, using his mane as reins. Her side gave a painful twinge but she ignored it as she kicked her heel.

Off they galloped into the moonlit night, away towards the sea with the ghost of Chaeyoung's warm lips stamped in Lisa's mind.

Meanwhile, alone beneath a bright moon shining in through the window, a stupefied Chaeyoung sat and brushed over her mouth with her fingertips, trying to recreate the fleeting sensation of another pair of lips pressed against her own, gentle and purposeful, unlike any other kiss she had received before.

It was a kiss of pure, heart-felt devotion and wordless love that reached down and pulled Chaeyoung clean from the teetering cliff edge.

Had it really been...?

When Chaeyoung closed her eyes, Lisa's scent in the room intensified, as though giving her the answer to her unspoken question.

>

After a hectic night of many questions and explaining (because Jennie and Jisoo had burst into her room to hug her a few moments after Lisa disappeared), morning came to find Chaeyoung sitting and frowning at the empty seat opposite her.

"Where's Lisa?" she asked Jennie and Jisoo.

"Who knows? Screwing some harlot, most likely." Jisoo shrugged, stuffing her mouth with food. She received a sound clap to the head from Jennie. "What?!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Jennie reprimanded.

Meanwhile Chaeyoung's heart twisted painfully in her chest at Jisoo's casual answer.

Screwing around, after that kiss?  Why did the thought make her want to hurl?

She hadn't told either Jennie nor Jisoo about the kiss because she was still trying to decide if it had been a dream or not.

But Lisa's gentle, feather-soft touch, her warm lips pressing ever so carefully against her own felt too real to be dismissed as a product of her imagination. Lisa's scent—a mix of sweet hay and sea breeze—lingering in the room, wrapping around her like a comfortable blanket was only testimony that Lisa had been there in the flesh.

Her heart thudded as she replayed the sequence over and over in her head: Lisa's smell suddenly engulfing her senses as she slept; soft murmurs, then a beautiful burst of light piercing through the darkness at the same time as something warm and alive gently dabbed against her mouth, before Chaeyoung realised she was being kissed; her waking up and startling Lisa; Lisa bolting out of the door like a startled horse.....

why did she do that? why hadn't she stayed? was she afraid of Chaeyoung? was she fooling around? but the kiss had felt so real, and so good...

All these thoughts and more plagued Chaeyoung until she couldn't make sense of anything else but her mess of feelings. She was so deep in her reverie she didn't hear Jisoo's call of "Manoban, where you been?" but she did hear Lisa's low voice reply "Out."

She raised her eyes then as Lisa slumped in the empty seat opposite. Inadvertently, Chaeyoung's eyes sought out Lisa's neck and much to her relief, there was no red mark to indicate any screwing around had gone down last night.

Lisa caught her staring and gave a small tight-lipped nod before she reached out to the pitcher to pour herself some milk.

"You were supposed to keep guard on Chaeyoung, what happened?" Jennie asked. "You bolted out of the place so fast when she woke up."

"I....felt like a ride," Lisa replied with a dignified air. "I hadn't been out for some time so...felt I should go out and take Leo."

"You...kept guard over me?" Chaeyoung asked in wonder while Lisa tried her best to look everywhere but in Chaeyoung's direction. "For three days?"

"And three nights," Jennie interjected, "she didn't budge from your side. She was very adamant about standing watch over you."

Chaeyoung turned back to Lisa with awe as Lisa rubbed the back of her neck and coughed.

"Er well...I'm your guardian aren't I?" she said weakly. "I had to make sure...you were alright and...and nothing hurt you....again." 

Lisa's gaze softened when she looked up, right into Chaeyoung's eyes.

For one long moment, neither spoke but Chaeyoung thought she glimpsed an unfamiliar gleam in Lisa's eyes.

Was it fondness? Attraction? Lust?

"Well in any case, we ought to discuss what we have to do next regarding Chaeyoung," Jennie said briskly. Her face was drawn tight and she looked apologetically over to Chaeyoung, who in turn had a horrible sinking feeling in her chest just by looking at Jennie's expression.

"Chaeyoung, I know this will not go down well with you but...it will only be for a little while alright? Especially because we have to re-think our plans and make up new contingencies. We will have to put you in isolation for a while till we figure out..."

Jennie's voice trailed away as Chaeyoung felt a relentless build up of fear in her chest while sweat ran down her temple. 

She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists to stop herself from screaming out—she didn't want to be locked up in the dark and cold again, she didn't want to be kept in a cell with not even a sliver of sunlight or warmth, she didn't want to stay in that puny room where the walls seemed about ready to cave in on her and swallow her whole—

Lisa pushed her seat back, snapping Chaeyoung from her onset of panic.

"With all due respect, I disagree," Lisa began tightly. 

Chaeyoung noticed her holding on to her sword's hilt tightly, for support. "As Chaeyoung's guardian, I strongly advocate that you don't throw her in a cell and isolate her. That's more damaging and inflicting more pain....on top of what she had to endure..." Once again, Lisa's soft gaze rested on Chaeyoung's astonished face. "Chaeyoung has been strong but I won't let you keep her in that dungeon again."

"Oh?" Jennie said mildly, arms folded. "And what would you do if, I, the Empress, decreed that Chaeyoung is to be isolated for up to a week, if not more?"

Chaeyoung's heart jumped in her throat as Lisa drew her sword with an impassive face.

"Then you leave me no choice but to fight you."

Immediately a flash of metal whizzed through the air and clashed with Lisa's sword as Jisoo unsheated her own blade and stood up to shield Jennie. Jisoo's face was inches away from Lisa as their individual blades brushed and clinked against each other.

"You'll have to go through me, Captain," Jisoo said grimly.

"No problem, General," Lisa retorted.

"No no stop!" Chaeyoung cried shrilly, jumping up to separate the two girls. "Lisa I appreciate you trying to fight for me but this is too much! You can't go charging and challenging your friends to a fight to death!"

Jisoo and Lisa glanced at one another before collapsing into peals of laughter as Chaeyoung looked on dumbfounded.

"Did....did I say something funny?" Chaeyoung wondered. A gentle tap to her hand made her turn to behold Jennie's small grin.

"Hubby, have you not grown used to these buffoons yet? They weren't called the dramatic duo for nothing. They were bluffing."

"Oh," Chaeyoung said, deflating. 

So that meant that Lisa was alright with her being imprisoned, like the first time round, when it had been Lisa herself who captured her and threw her in a cell?

"I wasn't bluffing about isolating Chaeyoung though," Lisa spoke up as though she read Chaeyoung's mind. Her ponytail, long enough for the tips to sweep her neck, swished back and forth as she shook her head. "I don't think throwing Chaeyoung in a dungeon is appropriate. She's still my....our Chaeyoung."

"Well, what would you have me do then?" Jennie asked as Jisoo settled in her seat again. None of them seemed to have caught on to Lisa's slip of tongue but Chaeyoung did and her face tinted magenta. Thankfully, all eyes were on Lisa.

Lisa smiled. "I have an idea...."

>

"Well it's not much," Lisa said later as she showed Chaeyoung back to her room, "but at least it's your room so there's plenty of air and sun and you can see the sea, yeah?"

Chaeyoung silently walked into her chamber, secretly overjoyed that a compromise had been reached and she was allowed to stay in her room and not some dank dark cell.

Her room was warm and full of light as well as decorations that brightened up the place: painted seashells, pieces of canvases hanging around the room along with her workbench for pottery and carving and sculpting and painting. Seashell mobiles fluttered in the breeze while colourful pieces of fabric littered the furniture.

She was a bit embarrassed that Lisa had seen the by products of her creative messes but Lisa didn't seem to care very much—she stood at the door, watching Chaeyoung with an air of trepidation.

"Umm well...I hope you're alright now and...and if you need me....I'll be outside alright?"

"Won't you be bored?" Chaeyoung wondered.

Lisa chuckled. "Don't you worry your pretty little head over me princess. In war, there would be long stretches of time just waiting to get in some action. You get used to waiting around to kill time."

Chaeyoung nodded, fidgeting with her hands behind her back. "Uh....I wanted to say thank you, Lisa-yah," she said bashfully, summoning her courage, " for standing up for me back there. I...really really didn't want to go back to the dungeon."

"Figured as much. They give me the heebie-jeebies too." The strange gleam in Lisa's eyes' returned and Chaeyoung decided it had to be fondness, with the soft way Lisa watched her. "You're welcome princess. Rest up."

Since when had Lisa started watching her this way? Or had she simply been oblivious to Lisa's glances all along?Was it the kiss that changed how she looked at Lisa?

"I'll be right outside to keep you safe. Nobody is going to hurt you," Lisa said gently, taking Chaeyoung's silence for hesitation. "Jisoo will look into what happened and we'll find those bastards too. You will be avenged. So...just leave it to us and rest. You need to recover."

On the spur of the moment, Chaeyoung blurted out: "But...but I wanted to talk about...you know..."

Lisa stiffened immediately, shoulders hunching over. She closed her eyes, turned away. "We don't have to talk about it," she said unsteadily.

She still tasted Chaeyoung's mouth on hers, the form and shape branded in her minds' eye. She was exercising all restraint not to glance down at Chaeyoung full lips or look straight into Chaeyoung's eyes for too long, for fear of falling prey to Chaeyoung's own brand of enchantment that even she didn't seem to be aware of.

"Oh...oh not that. Not right now at least. We...we can do that another time, Lisa," Chaeyoung said shyly, playing with her sleeves behind her back. "But actually I thought...maybe we could...talk about other things?"

"Other things like?"

Chaeyoung exhaled. "Where we left off three nights ago, when I ran out. Where we stand now with Taehyung now this whole incident happened. What....what happened when the cultists...." she gulped, "got me."

Lisa was in front of her in a blink, quiet concern etched all over her face. "Chaeyoung I'm here. I'm here."

She hadn't realised she was crying until Lisa pulled out a handkerchief and offered it to her, eyeing her uncertainly as though she didn't know how to deal with Chaeyoung's display of emotions without snarking about it as she was wont to do, before.

But here was already a change—Lisa was actively trying not to prick her, a huge improvement over the many other times she would nag and mock.

Maybe I'm not the only affected by what's happened, Chaeyoung reflected, remembering Lisa staying with her for three days and three nights.

Talking about her ordeal was going to be harder than she thought—she had cried in Jennie's arms last night but yet, even though the hug was reassuring and warm, something still felt lacking when Jennie and Jisoo hugged her.

Her heart seemed convinced that Lisa was the missing key to properly embark on healing and mending from the trauma. After witnessing Lisa's thoughtful actions today, Chaeyoung was starting to believe it too.

"We can make some clay bowls later if you want," Lisa said to break the thick silence, "although you improved a lot, I still think you have hideous taste, princess. Maybe I should be in charge of colouring, eh?"

Through the haze of tears, Chaeyoung managed to finally laugh.