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Percy actually fucking showered for this occasion, albiet it was with hand soap in his hair and he didnt wash most of his body (the water was the main sorce of 'shower'). But hey- he didnt smell half as bad.
He put on an excessive amount of hair gel in his hair, as well as 'perfume' he had stolen. The perfume was actually just air humidifier and essential oils. I dont know how he mixed them up but uh
Anyways
Percy looked at himself in the mirror, it was broken due to him punching it over frustration. Storytime
So basically he tried doing bloody mary so that he could steal mary from joseph and hide her in the tub forever but it didnt work, so he got mad and punched the mirror.
Anyways he looked in the broken mirror, giving himself a grin and a wink in practice for when he'd ask out joseph.
His plan was to convince joseph that mary was having an affair. Percy is really fucking stupid and didnt plan out who this affair was going to be with, so he did a generator of every hunter in the manor.
His plan was set!
Percy left his room, making his merry ol way to josephs dorm(?). He knocked in a rhythmic pattern,
Joseph opened the door, looking all but amused.
"What do you want, percival" he deadpanned.
Percy was suddenly nervous, smiling a bit. He twirled his thumbs, then twirled a strand of his hair.
"Soo....." he started
"May I just start, jojo-"
Joseph cut him off with a
"Dont call me that."
"Oh! Right sorry," "Anywaysss,, may I just start with how handsome you look toni-"
Joseph slammed the door in his face, but percy just knocked again.
"Joseph- I have to tell you... Something really upsetting..." he said, faking a tear. "Mary,,, is.... Cheating on you." Percy made a weird gasping noise before fake sobbing- covering his face in his hands and sniffling.
Joseph opened the door ever so slightly, causing percy to peek between his hand. "Fuck off," he said, honestly really fucking annoyed at this point. Percy started a "IM NOT LYI-" before being kicked in the balls.
Percy fell to the floor crying😢 , and Joseph just slammef the door back shut
"i just want to take ur heart.... :("
Percy eventually recovered and skurried back to his room (legs making the mr krabs walking noise) to cry and sob and cry and sob and cry and sob and cry and sob and cry and sob and cry and cry and cry. He turned on 'Me myself and I' and listened to that before his phone died. wow
Joseph, on the other hand, spend his valentines day with Mary, Happily.
the end