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They were inseparable. Classmates of theirs always overheard them play flirting and fighting, sitting really close, and getting lost in their conversations. They wouldn’t do anything unless the other was with, and that included skateboarding. Kaoru and Kojiro were so close they might as well have sewn themselves together.
Skateboarding was something they both got into relatively simultaneously, neither of them being able to recount who really got into it first. They pushed each other to grow, get out of their comfort zones, and find a few other skateboarders their age to hang with. They took advantage of a run-down drive-in theater to hang out and practice around. And soon enough, they felt ready for a challenge. They had heard about another group in the area.
The leader, who had gone by Adam, was as mysterious as the drive-in during sunset. Shadows casted over his face, bringing out his defined facial structure. Something sinister truly drove him into the competitor he was; Adam never talked about it. How empty he felt when Tadashi betrayed him. The bearer of his happiness simply trampled over it years later when he refused to support him when he got his very first skateboard taken and smashed in front of him. He thought he had meant something to Tadashi, and though he still followed him like a lost dog, the anger and blame wouldn’t leave his thoughts of him.
All he wanted to do was skateboard, skateboard, skateboard to wash the memories away.
Kojiro stepped forward with pure determination. To show this ‘new guy’ who the best of the best was his job. “This will be easy. Alright, Adam, you and me, one on one.”
Kaoru stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder and pushing him back. This beef was his. He had this. Something about Adam drew him in.
They battled often, like an unspoken bond between them forced them against each other ever since Kaoru saw him skate for the first time. The air he had, the grace. It made Kaoru captivated in ways he never had been captivated before when watching Kojiro, or even when watching pros on TV.
It wasn't just Kaoru, however; everyone seemed entranced the moment Adam set his board down. Skating with Adam felt like pure ecstasy in every sense. All Kaoru and Kojiro wanted was more time with Adam, to make him a part of their group forever. Fate seemed to keep them together, like a red string tying them all close.
Perhaps in those days, before they knew better, Adam was a bad influence. Their skating got riskier the longer they were together. But the thrill of fleeing from the police constantly was exhilarating and Kaoru just wanted more.
Buried in his daydreams of wishing for more risks, he lost concentration and fell off his board, only for the one who had occupied his thoughts for weeks caught him. The hold was intimate, Kaoru thought. Adam could have just grabbed his hand and stepped on his board to steady him, but he let the board slip away while one of his arms caught Kaoru’s back. Their faces were dangerously close.
“Hey, hey, I got you, Cherry. It’s alright,” Adam hushed, tightening his hold on Kaoru’s body.
Kaoru couldn’t move. His heart beat faster than it ever had when he skated, faster than it ever had when running from the police. “T-thanks,” he said, eyes searching for Adam’s from behind his hair. What did this all mean?
Adam smiled. Oh, Kaoru was in deep now. He eased his hold on Kaoru gently, making sure he got his footing on the concrete before letting go. “There you go. Ah, that was fun, wasn’t it?”
Kojiro looked at Adam cautiously. “Yeah, that was fun. Are you okay, Cherry?”
“Y-Yeah…” his heart was still pounding in his chest, making his vision blurry and his ears ring.
The three teens agreed to head back to their meet up spot to say their goodbyes for the night, until Adam stopped under the bridge they had just avoided the police from, and brought his hood down. The night air was cool and refreshing.
“Adam, your hood...”
Taking a sharp inhale of the night, Adam shrugged Kaoru and Kojiro’s worries away. “It’s alright, it doesn’t matter if you see me. You guys are special.”
Kaoru was in deeper than the ocean. I’m special.
Kaoru was worshipping Adam. Neither knew each other’s real names - and for plenty of reasons, they wanted to keep it that way - but the connection they had was incredible. When they were together they couldn’t be separated, when they rested their bodies leaned against one another’s.
That’s how we used to be, Kojiro thought to himself as he watched them. He wanted to be upset, but Kaoru looked so...happy. And when Kaoru was happy his eyes sparkled, his grin was wide, and his face would melt away his serious facade. And if Kaoru was happy, Kojiro was...happy for him, he supposed. He denied his feelings for Kaoru when his female classmates would ask if the flirting was real, and he'd like to think it was all an act, but it was hard to deny how much he loved him when he looked so ethereal and acted like himself.
Third wheeling them was irritating but Kaoru wanted him around with them, so that must have meant something, right?
“I don’t want you to be with him,” Kojiro said quietly as the two headed back, parting ways with Adam.
Kaoru gasped. “Why?”
Kojiro kept his eyes on the sidewalk, focusing on the cracks and avoiding stepping on them. “Because, I…” He swallowed nervously, and he hoped Kaoru couldn’t see the red growing on his face. Kaoru wasn’t even looking at him, rather looking straight ahead with an irritated expression painted on his pale face. His lips formed a pout that looked so cute with his lip piercing, but oh, God, get back on track, Kojiro, “I have a bad feeling.” Because he doesn’t deserve you.
A red car buzzed past them on the street. “You’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous, Kaoru.”
“If you wanted me you should have said when you had the chance.”
“I’m just trying to protect you.”
“From what?”
Kojiro was silent. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything in response. His mind was blanker than a sheet of paper waiting in a printer.
The conversation was already over. Neither of them spoke for the rest of the evening, even after they had both returned home.
The next day, things were fine between them. They carried on as usual flirting and staying close like routine, and for weeks Kojiro tried to shake the feeling that something was off with Adam when they would skate with him.
And without warning one fateful evening, at the abandoned drive-in on a night they usually took a break from skating, Kaoru learned that Adam was leaving for the United States. He left with nothing but a “Goodbye, Cherry Blossom,” and Kaoru sunk to his knees.
“I...I’m going to go home. I need to...study…”
“Come to my place tonight.”
Like the weeks before, the walk was quiet. Save for the occasional car and bird, the sound of footsteps resonating in the dark. Kaoru’s expression was blank, as if he was thinking and thinking and thinking.
They reached Kojiro’s apartment.
They reached Kojiro’s bedroom.
Kaoru reached for Kojiro, his sobs starting as instantaneously as thunder.
Kojiro pulled him into his chest without missing a beat. “He broke your heart.”
“Yeah...yeah, he did.” Karou let his tears pool onto Kojiro’s uniform jacket, his hands gripping the fabric so hard his knuckles turned white. “I know you’re going to tell me ‘I told you so!’ so just say it already. Get it over with, please.”
Kaoru’s cries pained Kojiro to the core. “I wasn’t going to say that. I’d never say that. I wanted you to be happy just as much as you did.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again.”
“Don’t say that, Kao. I love you. I’ll protect you.”
“I love you, too.”
Years had gone by.
Best friends forever. Friends with benefits. They both yearned for each other’s company, but didn’t want to commit to anything other than occasional body worshipping to distract themselves from the problems the world threw at them. They both brought immense comfort to one another, were committed to being there for each other no matter what would happen. They wanted to be together forever, but Kaoru was still healing, and he wasn’t ready to open his heart back up if it meant potentially getting it shattered again.
But he loved Kojiro in a different way from how Kojiro loved him.
The two went on lavish trips together after they graduated, photos of them stayed permanently in their phones. Kaoru was forever to have someone as wholesome as Kojiro to comfort him and forever be by his side, yet the loss in his heart was holding on tight, refusing to let go.
Every weeknight the two would stay after hours at Kojiro’s restaurant, and at S, the two played up being enemies to stir up some entertainment for their audiences. When the act was up, Kaoru’s home would be empty until the next afternoon.
And it went that way for a long time. Taking Langa, Reki, and Miya under their wings brought them even closer, in a way. Kojiro loved their company. He made it his mission to make sure they wouldn’t end up like Adam, or even worse, heartbroken and betrayed like Kaoru had been.
And everything was fine for a while, until Adam made his appearances at S on a regular basis after discovering Langa’s talent. Kaoru felt nothing but rage towards him now, which only increased tenfold when Langa became a part of Adam’s fixations.
The qualifiers to beat Adam were over. The rage that Cherry had built over the years was ready to go unleashed.
“I’ve been waiting for this day.”
“I didn’t want to fight you.”
Kojiro came running, and Kaoru could see the pure terror on his face. The worry, the fear. Kaoru wondered why he was so worried, and especially why it couldn’t wait until after the race. It was just a beef, after all, and he could take care of himself. He had Carla and his secret weapons with him. But Kojiro's eyes shook, and tears nearly left him. He had never seen this side of him before.
Kaoru looked at him with a creased brow, a look that meant, “I’ll be fine, Kojiro.”
Kaoru was MIA for an entire evening. Suffering a broken arm and a serious injury on his neck and jaw should have kept him in the hospital for much longer, but the nurses and doctors were tired of him begging to be discharged, so they let him go with the promise he’ll take it easy.
He called the restaurant as soon as he left. Kojiro hadn’t expected him to tell him he was coming over considering his condition, and Kaoru had even played it off as ‘escaping’ the hospital to sound cooler. Kojiro was sure he would have gone right home and slept until his calligraphy clients beckoned him, so he took the situation as a compliment.
“Is a white okay? I have a Lafite-”
Kaoru was asleep.
Kojiro smiled fondly. He was truly beautiful, and by God he couldn’t blame his poor soul for being so tired after what he had just gone through. He felt so sorry for him, it made his heart swell. He felt himself suffocating, holding back tears as the live feeds played through his mind on repeat. How he felt somewhat responsible for ever letting Kaoru compete. He tried to stop him right before the countdown, but the words couldn’t leave his throat. How he imagined the emotional agony Kaoru must have felt when the person he once loved and cared for betrayed him with a skateboard to the face. How traumatizing that must have been. Betrayal in its evilest form.
“And here I thought you were an insomniac, yet you fall asleep in my company, hmm?” Koaru poured the wine into his glass. “Adam skates the way he does because he’s alone. I’m sure he’s not happy right now. That’s why his skating ends up that way. But you know...we’re not alone. Right, Kaoru?”
One day Kojiro would tell him just how much he was in love with him. But for now, Kaoru will never know, and all Kojiro could do was tuck a few strands out of his sleeping face behind his ear, kiss him on the forehead, and take a drink.