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When her husband told her to wait for him at the saloon, drink some wine and talk with other omegas there, Mary refused. The day was too beautiful to spend it inside. So she adjusted the hat on her head and left after Barry.
“It won’t take long,” he informed her, smiling softly as he put on his bowler hat. “An hour at most.”
“I know your business talks,” she teased. “You always say an hour and you leave after two or three.”
Barry chuckled, his eyes sparkling, like always whenever he wanted to kiss her. But they were outside and couldn’t do much than link their fingers for a few seconds.
“This time it’ll be quicker, I promise,” he answered. Mary smiled back and squeezed his hand briefly before letting go. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” she replied as the pleasant warmth spread from her heart through her whole chest.
Mary watched her husband walk towards the building of a bank where his associates were already waiting to make new deals she never bothered to understand. Her daddy never taught her, said it’s no work for an omega and she never argued, not wanting to make him angry. She didn’t regret it, it seemed boring whenever Barry was speaking about his work when he was tired of it or excited about some new deal.
Once she lost the sight of her husband, Mary started walking without any destination in mind. She just wanted to enjoy the weather, which was very lovely today, not too hot, with a gentle wind pleasantly grazing her skin. Once Barry would be done with his work, they should take a walk together, there was a park nearby, she saw it yesterday while they were arriving in the stagecoach.
She was just thinking about going there on her own for now when she caught the sniff of a familiar scent hanging in the air. It was faint, but she would recognize it everywhere.
Arthur.
What was he doing here? Wasn’t it too far east for him and his gang? Did he leave it?
Mary turned towards the little store where the scent was leading her. Was Arthur robbing it with his friends right now? She walked up the stairs and looked inside. The clerk was standing by his counter and didn’t seem scared or threatened. She couldn’t see Arthur, but she knew he was there, she could smell him even better now.
He smelled a bit different, not as strong but that was to be expected on the open air. But there was something sweet in his scent, something that wasn’t there all those years ago.
Hesitantly, she put her hand on the handle of the door, not sure if she should see Arthur. She wanted to, she missed him almost every day and she liked to imagine he missed her too. But what if he wasn’t even here? What if he was but was angry? The last time they’ve seen each other was when she broke their engagement, saying she couldn’t be a wife of an outlaw. It pained her to leave him, she loved him so much but they just wouldn’t work. Not until Arthur would change, something he wasn’t willing to do.
Maybe he never loved her as much as she loved him.
She wouldn’t blame him for getting angry at her. That day, he was heartbroken and sad. He didn’t get violent, angry, he didn’t say anything to her except ‘I understand’. And then he left and she hasn't seen him ever since. He never wrote and she didn’t either. She needed to let go, especially after she married Barry.
Arthur had every right to be angry and yell at her now. He never was this kind of alpha but a broken heart can turn even the sweetest of men bitter.
Taking a deep breath, she entered the store. A bell ringed, announcing her arrival. “Good morning, ma’am,” the clerk welcomed her.
She smiled and nodded her head at him before following Arthur’s scent, her heart thudding in her chest. It’s been so long and Arthur was so young when they parted. She wondered how he changed. Did he grow his hair, his beard? He should be thirty four right now, a fine age for a man and especially an alpha. He probably was even more handsome than the day she broke up with him.
The store was a tight space full of shelves, Mary had to be very careful navigating her way looking for her first love. Arthur's scent got stronger in here, it almost seemed like there were two sources of it, one sweeter than the other but still undeniably his. She remembered it from all the years ago when they would walk together, sleep together. Make love together.
Her heart was almost out of her chest when the scent got even stronger. Mary quickened her steps, rounded the corner of the next shelf and stopped dead in her tracks.
At the very back of the store, in front of the sweets display, a young boy was standing with the thumb in his mouth, looking at the collage of candies on the counter. The smell with a hint of sweetness was coming from him. Mary refused to acknowledge why the boy was smelling so similar to Arthur, it would hurt too much.
But she got no choice because then Arthur himself arrived, stopping next to the boy with such a sweet smile it stung.
“What, you want one?” Arthur asked the boy and picked him up so he could see candies better. The child hugged him with trust and nodded. “I guess we can spare a few cents for a candy. What color do you want?”
He spoke so softly to the boy, with so much love. Sometimes, when she was still convinced she could be with him, she imagined them having children. They never talked about being parents, they were in love and more focused on getting married. But she dreamed about giving him children, a little boy or a girl he could take hunting, and teach how to be an alpha. And a little omega girl or boy for her, teaching them etiquette and dressing them in the finest clothes.
They could’ve been a happy family but that was a lost dream now. She could still have it with Barry, just like Arthur had it with someone else. Someone that wasn’t her.
The boy in Arthur’s arm pointed at a jar filled to a brim with colorful gumdrops. Arthur chuckled, happy and content, and it made Mary’s heart clench.
“You pointed at the whole jar, boy. You want them all?” The boy, no surprise there, nodded. “You can have two, how about that? Let’s see uh… How about red and yellow?” Arthur picked up two candies of those exact colors. The boy watched with huge eyes and pulled a thumb from his mouth to grab at the candies he immediately put in his mouth. “Hey, I ain’t paid for them yet!”
“That’s okay,” the clerk assured, walking to Arthur suddenly. The boy hugged him closer when the stranger appeared. “Those will be on the house. I wouldn’t dare to deny such a sweet child.”
“You’re very kind, sir,” Arthur replied and turned to the boy. “Say thank you.” The boy whined, distressed and hid his face in Arthur’s neck, making him chuckle. “He’s shy but he’s very grateful.”
“I have no doubt about that,” the clerk responded with fondness and walked back to his counter.
“What a kind man, ain’t he?” Arthur spoke to the boy, adjusting his grip on him. “Let’s get them cigarettes now, shall we?”
Mary entered the store in hopes to see Arthur again and talk about the old days but she changed her mind when she spotted the boy. So when Arthur started turning, she tried to hide, avoid him and get back to the hotel, pretending she didn’t see him.
She was too slow and he spotted her, his smile disappearing in an instant as his eyes grew big with shock. Mary stood frozen in place. His eyes were still the most beautiful she has ever seen and they still could make her weak in the knees.
“Mary,” he breathed out in surprise.
“Hello, Arthur,” she greeted him, proud that her voice didn’t stutter.
Arthur composed himself rather quickly, putting a mask of neutrality on his face. The boy in his arms stared at Mary, shy just like with the clerk. She smiled at him but he hid away right away, only taking a peak at her from above his tiny shoulder.
Arthur cleared his throat. “Didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, louder than her name. It was so good to hear him again, see him. There was nothing of that young man he once was. His hair became a little darker and it grew, and his usually smooth face was now covered with a short beard. He was bigger too, bulky. Arthur was always muscular in one way or another but it was never as prominent as right now. She couldn’t help but admire his thick arms or wide shoulders hidden under the shirt, barely fitting inside it. It was always nice to lay in his strong arms, she could only imagine it would be even better now.
Swallowing, she chased those thoughts away. She had a husband for god’s sake. “It’s been a while,” she noted, smiling when she noticed he was still wearing that old hat of his. “Over ten years.”
“Ten years,” he repeated in wonder, like he really wasn’t aware how much time had passed. Unlike Mary. It was clear he didn’t count those years like her.
“Times flies.” She didn’t know what else to say. That she missed him? Wouldn’t it be too forward considering he was standing in front of her with a child? She decided on something safer. “What are you doing here?”
Was he living here? Did he finally settle down?
“We’re traveling south.” We. He could mean himself and the boy, but she knew it was wishful thinking. He meant the gang. “What are you doing here? That’s awfully far from home and daddy.”
She scoffed at the way he mentioned her father. She understood why he never liked her daddy but he could show at least some respect.
“I accompany my husband on his business trip.”
She didn’t mean to mention Barry, she could’ve said many things to explain her presence here. Arthur was never staying in towns while with the gang, he wouldn’t have been able to see her husband anyway. But it slipped. Subconsciously she wanted to see how he would react.
He didn’t in a way she hoped for.
“A husband?” There was surprise in his voice but no pain. “Congratulations.”
She smiled at him. “Thank you.” Her eyes landed on the boy again, playing with the collar of Arthur’s shirt, oblivious to the talk happening around. “And this is…”
A pride showed up on Arthur’s face in an instant and he looked at the boy fondly. “This is Jack. My-” Nephew, she hoped, even though she knew Arthur was the only child. My friend’s son. A boy I found and took in. She wanted to hear anything but the truth. “- son,” he finished and looked back at her, pride and joy still shining in his eyes.
Mary forced back a smile on her face, feeling the start of a knot in her abdomen.
A son. Arthur had a son and he clearly loved the boy. She was happy for him, really. But she couldn’t help but be bitter he wasn’t their son. Whoever was a mother or a second father, they were a very lucky omega. Mary could’ve been one too once but she threw it away.
She never regretted marrying Barry and she loved him dearly, but it was hard to forget the first ever love. To not wonder what could’ve been.
“He looks like a lovely boy,” she said. She meant it. The boy was still hiding from her but when she tried to take a closer look, she couldn’t find any resemblance to Arthur in him. Jack was his, she had no doubt about that. After all, he smelled like his alpha father, but the boy clearly took the looks after his other parent. “You never mentioned wanting children.”
“Jack wasn’t exactly planned,” Arthur explained and kissed the top of the boy’s head. Jack nuzzled closer into him, his tiny hands gripping the material of his shirt tightly. “But we decided to keep him despite the life we live.”
Mary could imagine rising a child among thieves and murderers, constantly on the road, wasn’t easy. But Jack looked healthy and like he wasn't missing anything. Arthur and whoever was a second parent, were doing a good job taking care of him.
But who exactly was a second parent? She couldn’t remember any omegas from the gang but it’s been over ten years, Jack didn’t even look five yet, some omega probably joined since Mary last saw anyone from the gang. And one of them was Arthur’s… mate? She hoped not.
“Must be hard.”
“Sometimes,” he admitted, a little sad. But then a new smile blossomed on his face as he looked at Jack. “But I wouldn’t go back and change the decision about having him. He’s here and I love him more than anyone on this planet.”
Parents’ love is strong. Mary knew that but it still hurt to listen to a man who once spoke like that about her, now was saying it to someone else, even if just a child.
Fatherhood suited Arthur, she had never seen him as happy as in that moment, with a child in his arms. And it hurt too that he was happy without her. She never wished for him to hurt for the rest of his life when she broke both of their hearts. She was happy without him too, they managed. But she once thought only she could make him this happy.
She couldn’t be more wrong. He was even happier than he ever was with her.
Her thoughts were interrupted when the bell above the door rang again, announcing the arrival of another customer.
“Hey, Art, you got lost in there, cowboy?” a raspy man’s voice asked and then greeted the clerk.
Arthur faced the direction of the voice and the boy in his arms perked up at the sound of it, his face splitting with a wide, toothy grin. Mary turned to look behind herself as well but whoever came looking for Arthur already walked through the whole store in his search and he came out from Arthur’s side.
“There you two are.” Mary looked at a tall, black-haired omega man that turned from around the corner. He smiled at Arthur and Jack and then walked to them. Mary almost gasped when she took a look at his face, his eyes in particular. They were exactly the same as Jack’s. His features matched too. “How long can you buy a pack of cigarettes and a box of matches?”
“Got caught up with an old friend,” Arthur explained.
A friend. But what did she really expect from him to call her? She was nothing but a friend to him anymore.
The man looked at her, noticing her for the first time and his face fell at the sight of her. Mary was confused with his sudden hostility and was even more surprised when the man addressed her with her name.
“Nice to see you again, Mary Gillis,” he said in a voice that implied he wasn’t happy at all.
“It’s Mary Linton now,” she corrected him, trying to remember how they met. “Do I know you?”
“It’s possible you don’t remember,” Arthur offered the explanation, stepping closer to the omega. The sweet part in Jack’s scent came from him. “The last time you saw him he was much younger and smaller.”
It came back to Mary then. “Of course,” she said, pressing her lips in a thin line. ”You’re that boy that accompanied Arthur during his two visits to me.” She remembered now. A twelve years old boy who followed Arthur like a shadow and glared at her with the hate and jealousy only a younger brother could muster.
Only it turned out he wasn’t a younger brother. But the fire in his eyes stayed the same despite presenting as an omega, and it was once again pointed at her.
“John Marston,” he introduced himself, standing tall and proud, which with the disdain in his eyes made him much more intimidating than when he was a head shorter than her. She almost shivered because of his gaze but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
“You never knew how to stay away from Arthur.”
She meant it like a joke, a small jab at how he used to follow them all day, sabotaging their attempts at being intimate or simply alone. Arthur was always angry at him then, if a little fond. Mary tried to be understanding and get to know John better, he clearly was important to Arthur but the boy never gave her a chance, always hostile towards her. She quickly got irritated with him and it repeated itself when he joined Arthur the second time, ruining their day again. Mary hoped for a day with Arthur but ended as a babysitter those two only times John was with them. She never knew why Arthur’s boss, because she doubted it was Arthur's decision, insisted on bringing John along. He was bored and they were annoyed with him. It wasn’t good for anyone.
John didn’t like her little joke. He glared at her and she could see his upper lip tingling, ready to bare his teeth in a snarl. “You on the other hand are an expert in getting the hell away from Arthur,” he jabbed back so hard it was practically a punch.
“John,” Arthur scolded him but John only huffed in response. Mary gaped at him, not expecting him to attack her like that. He had no right! He only ever saw her and Arthur together two times, what could he know about their relationship and the reason Mary broke the engagement? How dare he speak to her like he knew anything?! “Take Jack and wait for me outside, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” he responded but didn’t even look at Arthur, he kept staring at Mary. Arthur handed him Jack, who shouted a very excited ‘Pa’ and hugged John tight before his father took him outside, leaving Mary alone with Arthur.
“I’m sorry about him,” Arthur apologized for John. “He was never good at keeping his mouth shut.”
“You have a child with him.” She couldn’t understand how the two of them ended up in a bed. She really thought they were like brothers.
“He’s my mate too,” Arthur mentioned carefully and reached with hand to the bandana around his neck, revealing a mating bite under.
Mary was stunned, she didn’t know what to say.
Mated. He and John were mated, bond forever. Happy or miserable, they wouldn’t be able to form a bond with any other people until one of them would die.
She lost Arthur forever.
“Mated?” she choked out.
Arthur sighed. “I couldn’t wait for you forever, Mary. Hoping you would take me back.”
“No, that’s not…” That’s exactly what I was thinking. As happy as she was with Barry, she never mated with him for that exact reason. That one day she and Arthur would’ve met again, an old flame would’ve sparked, Arthur would’ve told her he left the gang for her, that he changed and they would’ve mated in addition to being married. And in just a year, she would’ve been heavy with their firstborn. Subconsciously she always hoped for that happening. But now it wasn’t possible. Arthur sank his teeth in someone else’s neck and that someone even bit him back, connecting them till the death would tear them apart. “That’s not it, just… You never mentioned mating when with me.”
Arthur smiled sadly. “I guess I always expected it to end like this.” What was he saying? Did he never believe in them? They could’ve been happy if he only wanted to change for her. “You leaving me. We weren't meant to be together. Mating would only make everything worse.”
“You really think so?” she asked, tears stinging in her eyes.
“I couldn’t be a man you wanted me to be,” he explained. “I would never be enough. You did good ending it before we went too far. I’m glad you did. We’re both happier.”
Only you, she wanted to say but didn’t. “So you mated John,” she said bitterly. “I thought he was your brother.”
“He never was. We weren’t raised together.”
That she could understand. But not how easily Arthur mated him. “You were afraid to mate me but not him.”
“He’s my best friend, Mary. And he was by my side when I returned after you broke up with me. He sat with me the whole night, sharing a bottle, listening to me crying and he never complained.” Mary didn’t expect to hear this. She made Arthur… cry? She wasn’t aware of that. When she saw him that day, telling him goodbye, he was sad but didn’t look like he was going to cry. He was too strong for that. She never saw him cry. He was always the shoulder you cry on, strong and comforting. It was hard for her to imagine him weeping like a baby, in John’s presence at that. He was just a kid and Arthur poured his soul to him, not ashamed.
Why did he never do so with her?
It explained why John was so protective just a moment ago. He knew more about her and Arthur’s relationship than she thought.
Arthur chuckled unexpectedly. “He was even ready to go to you and yell at you for leaving me,” he recalled fondly while everything in Mary was screaming. “I was afraid to mate him. That he would leave one day too, realize he could do better. He was so young too, I couldn’t know if it was brief on his part, just a simple crush or something real. But I loved him so much I couldn’t just let him go. So I bit him and he bit me and I never regretted that decision. We’ve been mated for eight years, had Jack for two and we still love each other. And John never gave me the reason to think he would leave one day. I know he won’t.” Arthur hung his head but Mary managed to notice a shy smile before he looked away. “I think I would like to have a second child with him one day.”
That broke her heart completely. She thought she broke it herself when she left Arthur but that pain was nothing compared to this one. To hear from him how happy he was with John and thought about another child, growing their little family... She was happy for him but she was so hurt and jealous it wasn’t her. That she wasn't the one looking for him at the store, finding him with their child by the sweets he was buying for it. She wasn't the one bearing his mark that John had somewhere under his own bandana just like Arthur had his. That at the end of the day, it was going to be John sleeping soundly in those nice strong arms, not her.
She lost her chance and she’d never been so angry at herself.
“I wish you all the best,” she managed to say and she really meant it. She wanted him to be happy. She only wished it could be with her. Or that she too could say she was glad she ended their relationship. Have no regrets like Arthur.
“You too, Mary.” He turned her back to her and walked away while she stayed in place. She could still hear him in the store, paying the clerk for the cigarettes and matches. And then he left.
Mary walked to the window, watching how John, waiting outside, set the wiggling boy in his arms on the ground. Jack ran to his alpha father laughing and Arthur scooped him up with a big grin. They were all grinning, John too. They looked really happy and Mary couldn’t help but smile at the scene happening in front of her eyes, even if her heart was bleeding at the same time.
She watched as the man she still loved walked away with another omega and their child. An omega that, as much it pained her to admit, was a better match for Arthur than she could ever be. Arthur didn’t have to change for him and John was accepting him as he was, something Mary was never able to do. Because John not only understood Arthur's way of life, he belonged in it. That harmless twelve years old she remembered could probably kill her without blinking even then. He was raised as an outlaw, molded by the leader of their gang into a dangerous bandit that could equal Arthur in every way despite being omega, always able to keep up with his alpha, capable of protecting himself, Arthur and their child if needed.
He was part of Arthur's world from the very beginning. A world Mary could never belong to.