Work Text:
Beep.
We passed the 90,000 mile mark today. So I don’t think these go through anymore.
Yeah, they definitely don’t go through.
*laughs*
I think I’m gonna keep calling. No one up here knows how to make conversation anymore. Not like you do either, Yoongichi, but I’m used to the dead silence on your part you hermit. I wonder if you’ve left the studio at all since I’ve been gone. I hope Hoseok’s feeding you, entertaining you. Ha, it almost sounds like you’re a dog. Holly’s brother! Good boy, what a good puppy.
I’m almost glad you can’t get these messages I think you’d literally murder me for that. Gotta liven it up somehow though, the most amusing thing I’ve heard in days was when Jisoo said she actually liked the freeze dried burger. They taste like cardboard! I could cook something much better only using my toes! Is she insane?
Honestly, we’re all going a little insane. What’s that song… um… the David Bowie one. Hmm. Oh! Space Oddity. When he calls the spaceship a ‘tin can?’
I’m getting tired of the tin can already.
Beep.
Hi again, answering machine. Love of my life, only constant companion. Sorry Yoongi darling, you’ve been replaced.
God- this is so depressing. Talking to a machine on a machine in a machine.
You could probably make a good song out of that concept.
Beep.
Today I finished my book! Again. I’ve read it… let’s see.
*faint shuffling of objects*
13 times! Namjoon would be proud of me. I swear, I could probably recite it word for word at this point. Let’s see.
“The taxi’s radio was turned to a classical FM broadcast…”
Beep.
I miss foooooooood. The other day I woke up and I was chewing on my pillow.
I think I was dreaming about hotteok- fresh and hot, steaming in the air. Remember that time we made them and you got mad at me because I purposefully made mine bigger? You bullied me relentlessly until we swapped.
Aish, I even miss your bullying. I promise, I’ll never joke about divorce ever again.
The good news for today? We’re only 30,000 miles from the planet so soon we’ll be able to turn around and come back.
Beep.
Well.
Good news is, it’s habitable.
Bad news? It’s hideous. The sky is this kinda puce color, and there’s all these little lizardy creatures crawling all over. And don’t even get me started on the smell… Remember when we visited Jungkook in his frat house and he took us to the basement to look for ghosts? It smells like that, but three times as bad.
Long story short, don’t get your hopes up for Earth 2.0.
Beep.
And once again I’m talking to the machine. This is so stupid. I miss you. I miss people other than like- the five people with me. I miss cheap ramen, and Oddengie and Eomuk, and sunshine- god, do you know how long it’s been since I’ve felt sunshine?
I want to feel sunshine again.
Beep.
Today I will be doing an epic reenactment of my near death experience for you. You’re privileged to get this, everyone says I could have been an actor if not an astronaut. I have the face for it, admit it.
So I was going outside to repair a panel that had come loose. PHWOOOSHH PHWOOOSH (that’s me opening the airlock to go outside). But my tether had come disconnected and I didn’t realize! I almost floated into space but thank goodness Jackson was there to watch my back and he pulled me back just in time.
*feeble chuckle*
A little traumatizing but what’s a trip to outer space without a near death experience?
Beep.
We’re so close. In a few days I’m not going to have to hear this insufferable message anymore. Sorry answering machine. I love you.
I wonder if you’re just going to get a sudden influx of these messages when we get in range. If so, sorry in advance. It’s got to be at least a thousand.
I have been told I have a calming voice, though, so really you’re blessed. It is according to Taehyung, though, and he listens to chewing asmr, so then again, maybe not. He clearly doesn’t have taste.
Beep—
“Hello?”