Work Text:
i hear things.
i hear my own voice echo back to me in crashing waves,
agonizing calls of your name,
pitiful against the crushing sky.
the splish and splash of the rancid water hitting the shores
the whoosh of fog that clouds my ears and fills my brain
i hear crackles of static in place of thoughts.
the shifting cacophonies of missing moments
the spritz of cold water against my ankles as i trudge onward
why won’t you hear me?
the air around me is sharp.
it slices through my scarred skin,
leaving trails of raw frigid feeling behind.
it’s not like your soft,
your warm.
i think i see you for a moment,
but your comforting form disappears.
i crunch forward through the gravel underfoot.
i can hear you now.
the echo of your voice is different.
it hollows me out and leaves me void and cold,
your tinny tambour is gone and replaced with
emptiness.
and you’ve left again.
i’m sorry
i’m sorry you’re held captive here
i’m sorry it took so long for me to find you
to start looking past myself
i’m sorry it’s my fault
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i love
you need to come with me now.
i’ve got you.
please see me.
i hold the sides of your face,
slick like sheets of ice,
and bring you back until your eyes lose their frozen glow.
you choose to see past their cataract sheen.
you choose to see.
and you’re warm
and back with me.
please kiss me one more time before
i lead you home.
-a.k.l.