Archive of Our Own

The heat was unbearable when Jonah pulled up to the gas station. He’d been driving for long enough that his head was starting to ache, and his spine felt considerably worse than when he started. It was different then the long nights he’d spent hunched over his textbooks, it was something that could be fixed and not an ache he felt deep in his bones.

Slamming the car door, he took in the sight of his beat-up car. The scratches on the side a gentle reminder of the past. He was fine with the condition, but the lack of air-conditioning became apparent walking across the forecourt, the sweat making his shirt stick to his back uncomfortably. His attempts at creating a breeze through fanning himself with his shirt only made him feel more ridiculous.

When the cold air of the shop hit his warm skin he shivered, sighing in relief at the feeling. He wanted to stand under the air-conditioning unit until the air began to cool in the evening, but his hunger forced him to continue.

The aisles were crowded, full of the bright packaging of unhealthy goods that he tried to resist. Settling on a range of potato chips, cookies and enough fruit to ease his guilty conscience, he weighed up the risks of the off-branded energy drinks on sale. He picked up five of the bluest options before strolling slowly to the counter, enjoying the cold air he would soon have to leave.

There was a girl waiting at the counter, her foot tapping impatiently, frustration painted across her face. Her hair short and choppy, skimming her shoulders and partially damp from the heat. Unlike Jonah she was dressed for the weather, her shorts and vest top making him feel even more out of place in his jeans and plaid shirt. His sleeves rolled up and his top buttons undone doing little to compare.

He watched patiently as she raised her voice at the attendant visibly indifferent to her problems. Noticing the argument intensifying, Jonah eased himself into the conversation.

“Is something wrong here?” He asked, eyes flickering between the strangers, aiming for a smile that was soothing, but ultimately came across as patronizing.

“No. Nothing’s wrong.” Replied the girl sharply, before turning back to the attendant and shooting him a pointed look. “Just scan my card again.”

“I’ve scanned it like five times already…” Began the man before being cut off.

“Well try it again.”

He watched the girl intently as her chest heaved with anger. Not knowing what he should do, Jonah tried interrupting as the argument restarted.

“I can pay for your stuff… If you want of course because I’m sure you do have the money. It’s probably just… technical problems.” He stuttered while holding out his credit card ready to pay before it was snatched quickly from his hand by the attendant with a sigh of relief.

“Finally.”

The air was tense as his card was accepted, the silence growing more awkward as the attendant purposely packed their items as slowly as possible. They both watched him with varying degrees of amusement as while Jonah was content to enjoy the cold air, the girl was biting back a frustrated comment.

Only when they left the shop did he let out the breath he was holding and immediately regret stepping out into the midday sun. He began filtering out her items from his as she stashed them messily into her backpack. Neither one wanted to break the silence first, her eyes firmly focused on packing up her things. Once he had accounted for all his things he began to walk away, turning suddenly at the angry voice being directed at him.

“You didn’t have to pay for my stuff.”

Jonah felt the weight of her focus on him, it was intense and daunting. His skin felt tight and he felt breathless, her eyes boring into his soul. She was beautiful and he wasn’t sure how to handle the situation without making a fool of himself. Although he was sure that was the inevitable outcome as he began to panic at the time it took him to respond.

“Er… You’re welcome?” replied Jonah, looking sheepish and rubbing the back of his neck to relieve the moisture building.

“I’m just saying I can buy my own stuff” continued the girl, her hair shifting lightly as she spoke.

Pausing again, he resisted the urge to think about her, shaking his head to remove the thoughts crawling into his subconscious.

“Yeah. Of course. I believe you can.”

“Well the way you said it makes me think you don’t, and I wanted to make sure you knew… that I can.” She trailed awkwardly, lips pursed, and brow furrowed in frustration.

Looking around the area and finding it surprisingly empty, Jonah noticed his car was the only vehicle visible.

“Yeah. Sure. Just did you walk here?... I’m sorry that’s a weird question, but I can drop you somewhere if you want?” Her dark eyes seemed confused and unable to resist his natural urge to ramble he continued talking. “It’s just… you’re so hot… It’s so hot. I mean it’s a real hot one today and yeah…”

Blushing furiously at his words he waited for her to respond and resisted the urge to just walk to his car and forget his mistake ever occurred.

“It is a hot one, but I wouldn’t want you to go out of your way to drop me anywhere. Just tell me where you’re going, and I’ll say if it’s close to where I need to be.” Her strong voice cutting through his internal argument about his own stupidity. A small smile graced her features and for some reason he felt welcome in her presence, as if his mistake had amused her enough for him to be worth her time.

“Oh. I’m not really going anywhere in particular. I’m doing a sort of road trip, but without an ending, I guess.” Jonah said, thinking about the mountain of debt and business textbooks sitting waiting for him to return to his normal life. He wondered if his answer was too vague, or if it made him seem stupid and reckless to be following whichever direction called to him. Her disbelieving look only furthered his concerns and made his regrets seem inescapable, until she seemed to consider the prospect of his road trip. Her head tilted slightly as she considered her options.

It felt natural, standing in front of her, watching her mind race with the possibilities. He felt like he was making a million mistakes without even knowing, almost like something beyond him had been set in motion and no matter what happened next, he would enjoy it. The anxiety thrumming through his body seemed an extreme opposite to her calm demeanor. She gestured towards his car and in confusion he nodded, not realizing he had answered a question that had been unspoken.

Parting from him, she walked towards his car, leaving Jonah to trail slowly behind her, eyes wide in confusion. Turning as she reached for the passenger door, she called out her name with an easy smile.

Amy.

Jonah wasn’t sure where to start with his new passenger. She didn’t appreciate his CD of On The Road. She definitely didn’t like his choice in chips. And she hated the small mountain of plaid shirts spread across the back seat.

However, Jonah was beginning to understand little things about her. Their time together short, but meaningful. She was like an open book with meanings hidden in her words, forcing him to pay attention.

He noticed she enjoyed being right, with her opinions being inescapable and refreshingly unpredictable. She loved pointing out every single thing he was doing which was weird, from the way the patronizing way he came across to the extreme dedication to button up shirts. And she had very strong opinions on both Takis and every other thing he had in his car, especially his music.

Her negativity could have come across as mean, or hurtful, but it felt more as if they were sharing an inside joke, like her world view was available for him to see the world through too. Her smirk after her insults made him forget he didn’t know her. It just felt right.

Even when she was flipping through his CD’s, mocking his bad taste.

And she was mocking his bad taste.

“Why do you own so many Green Day albums? Nobody should own this many Green Day albums.”

“Hey!” Started Jonah with no real heat in his voice. “People love Green Day”

“Yeah, well, people aren’t really to be trusted.” Her eyes scanning the surroundings as if lost in thought before shifting her attention back to the brown eyes watching her. “Also, Paul Simon?”

“Yeah you can call me Al… you know… if you want.” Countered Jonah, eyes full mischief, his curls falling slightly into his face from the heat.

Youth was reflected on his face, the distance from his problems made him feel lighter, and made laughter come easier to him. He couldn’t imagine a time during the semester when he would have welcomed a stranger into his car. The stress of exams, deadlines and classes made him feel like he wasn’t human, just a ghost walking around campus, invisible to the world around him.

Jonah felt seen as she looked across the car at him. Her eyes saw parts of his soul he thought he’d lost. It was new and exciting, but also real and unknown. It was everything his life had been missing and he was beginning to think his time on the road had made him sentimental.

He watched in amusement as she rifled through the CD’s in his glove box before pulling out an old cassette tape. He remembered writing the label in the throes of a meaningless crush, imagining asking her out and taking her to wherever it was that people went on dates. It wasn’t something he remembered keeping in his car and the playful look in her eyes filled him reluctant concern.

“What’s this?” She questioned, expression of pure glee at the chance to catch him out on something embarrassing.

“Nothing… It’s nothing.” He replied as his voice shook from embarrassment forcing him to continue. “Just an old mixtape.”

“An old mixtape that says love songs for Rose?”

She moved before he could stop her and suddenly the overly sweet sounds of a love ballad filled the air.

“REO Speedwagon? Seriously” Amy shouted over the song which was being played much too loud for the small space. Her face open and happy as she laughed at Jonah’s awkwardness. “Was Rose a big fan?”

Quickly, he reached out to the dials and turned the music down preparing to defend himself from the comments he expected. However, when he looked at her there was no malice, making the words to salvage his image escape him. He realized he didn’t need to protect himself from her teasing, her words were just teasing and for a brief moment he allowed himself to think of it as flirting.

Not that Jonah was an expert at flirting. If anything, he stumbled through any and all romantic encounters like a man who had never been in love. Yet that didn’t mean he wasn’t willing such encounters to go well. He simply kept those thoughts hidden in his mind, allowing them only to seep into his consciousness when he needed the motivation to continue.

Nodding his head and focusing on the mock-judgment still hanging in the air, he spoke softly.  

“No. She hated them; I never gave it to her.” His voice clouding with the nostalgia he didn’t want to escape, embracing how awkward he used to be in a move to open himself up to the stranger he liked. “It turned out she liked my brother more.”

“Did he have a better taste in music?”

“Hey! This mixtape gets better.” Jonah exclaimed as he thought about his taste in music when he was a teenager. “I’m sure there’s some classics on there.”

Amy rolled her eyes in response and looked at the case the tape had been in. It was surprisingly bare considering the detail added to the title, just a clear case with no other information. The plainness out of necessity to stop his brothers from finding it.

“You didn’t write down any of the tracks? If ‘Like a Virgin’ comes on I will jump out of the car.” She punctuated her sentence by looking directly at him, emphasizing her delight, and making him flinch awkwardly. “When its moving.”

“That’s a little intense. You might want to prepare yourself in case that happens.”

“Is it likely to?”

Jonah looked around the car helplessly before caving and reconnecting their eyes.

“Almost certainly.”

His answer made them both fall into laughter, loud and carefree, and in turn he was surprised at the easiness of conversation.

It had only been around five hours since they first met, but it felt like they’d known each other for years. As they drove further away from the place where they met, the sun hung low in the sky, the only witness to their growing connection.

They drove for a further six hours, entertaining each other through meaningless stories and pointless games of I Spy, until they came across the first cheap motel for miles. Jonah was relieved for both his wallet and his stomach that it was attached to a diner. It looked dated and tired, but if it meant he could eat a warm meal, he wasn’t going to complain.

Assessing the previous six hours, he was reluctant to admit it went faster than he expected. Amy didn’t show any indicators of wanting to leave or wanting to stop, which he was choosing to see as a sign she was also enjoying his company. Although the thought entered his mind, he was perhaps the better option against whatever she was running from.

Regardless, he’d learnt more about Amy.

She was close to her parents. She wanted to sky dive. Most days she hated the world. However, most apparent to Jonah was the wistful nature she had when discussing things she loved. Her eyes would scan the surroundings as she reached for the words that appeared to escape her.

Even though he didn’t know her, he felt like she was holding something back.

Nevertheless, Jonah shrugged off his questions when he reached the stop, Amy’s eyes blinking away the sleep she’d been fighting for at least an hour. Awkwardly he scanned the area before breaking the silence.

“So… we’re getting separate rooms, right?”

The incredulous look he received was answer enough.

They separated for the night once they got their room keys. He waved goodnight and instantly regretted the action in case it came across as weird, shaking off the embarrassment when he strolled through the night air towards his room. 

The sky was dark, and the stars felt an impossible distance away. It was lonely, but he didn’t necessarily feel it. He knew he shouldn’t consider Amy a friend after only a day, yet something about their journey made him feel less alone.

Entering 207, the road beside his room was silent, the quiet seeping into the room. He breathed in the stillness.

Once settled he took in the room. There was very little decoration and even the distinct smell of smoke made him feel like he was back in his dorm. He figured for his own health he should probably sleep in his clothes to avoid whatever weird stains lay covered under the thin, thread-bare blanket.

However, the smells and sights of the room were not enough to dissuade him from the feeling of freedom settling into his soul.

There was no endless pile of notes to take. No early morning lectures. No email etiquette.

Just Jonah, the barely working television and the too soft bed.

Despite the pleasantness of the bed, he woke up bright and early at 7am. Resisting the urge to sleep through the day, he showered and dressed as quickly as possible.

Early morning sunlight painted the car park in a brand-new light, although the temperature seemed worlds away from the previous day. He looked up at the clouded, blue sky in the same way he had done at midnight, amazed at the possibilities for the day.

The rocks of the floor crunched soothingly underneath him as he approached the diner. It was familiar in the way every diner seemed, like it was welcoming him in while also encouraging him to not stay for an extended amount of time. The bell was quiet when he entered, ordering enough food for both himself and his passenger before he retreated back to the motel to wake Amy up.

His knock was light and in a random, nondescript tune, telling of his positive outlook on the day. He waited patiently for her to answer the door, sipping his coffee casually. His serenity the complete opposite of the sound coming from the other side of the door.

He heard her stumble out of bed, groaning as she stomped heavily towards the door.

“Why are you up this early?” She asked as she hung to the doorframe, hair tangled, and eyes closed.

Jonah replied instantly, smile gracing his lips at the rumbled sight before him.

“How did you know it was me?”

“You knock annoyingly”

Choosing not to comment, he hummed and walked into the room, placing the food on a dark wood table that had clearly never been replaced. The features of the room were reminiscent of the one he had just checked out of, plain and empty, yet not entirely uninviting. Her cardigan strewn across the chair the only evidence she was there.

“I was hoping we could get going before sunrise, see the sights in the morning sun, y’know.”

“I was hoping to sleep until lunch.” countered Amy quickly, before sighing lightly remembering her predicament. “I’ll get dressed now.”

He scrambled to his feet in panic. “I can go if you want me to?”

She shrugged and gestured simply to the bathroom taking her previously worn clothes with her.

As he sat watching the random default channel on the television, he wondered where the rest of her belongings were. If her backpack really contained everything they would probably need to stop for some supplies. He hoped she’d feel comfortable enough to tell him what had happened, but he understood he’d need to share the same, a daunting thought.

He figured if she was in need of more clothing, he could share his collection of shirts with her, he would even offer them. Besides if he was willing to let her be a passenger to his ill-thought out journey, he could probably lend her a shirt.

Jonah had only just finished his coffee when she exited the bathroom in a cloud of steam, the smell of lavender following her. He held out her coffee which she took with a genuine smile, their fingers brushing lightly.

It felt like nothing and everything at the same time.

They resumed their journey, an echo of the previous day, only Jonah noticed they seemed more like friends. The silence shifted away from awkward and towards companiable. Only an hour into the journey did Jonah begin to talk. His first attempts to break the silence, only met with angry grunts as Amy struggled to get comfortable, the sudden heat of the previous day a distance memory in the mild morning.

“You know if you want dropping somewhere?”

“Are you kicking me out?” interrupted Amy, unhappy at either her unsuccessful attempts to sleep or Jonah’s question, he couldn’t tell.

“No… No… Of course not. I just didn’t know if you needed to be anywhere” stuttered Jonah.

“I’m good. Do you have somewhere to be?” She asked, eyebrows raised in judgement.

“Nope. I’m just enjoying the open road… and the joys of the great American landscape.”

His answer appeared to momentarily satisfy Amy before her expression shifted to what Jonah assumed was mischief. Golden sunlight painted her with innocence as her hair whipped around her face in the wind.

“You know… If we don’t have anywhere to be, we could do something fun.”

“Something fun?” repeated Jonah, realization dawning on his face.

“Yeah, like, how some states have Dinosaur World’s or like Titanic museums or whatever.”

Excitement seemed to fill the air as Jonah nodded in agreement.

“Yeah like the world’s biggest ball of twine” he added, throwing Amy’s momentum as she looked at him.

“Yeah… or something better than that.”

“Yeah, something better than that, of course.” Said Jonah, lightly embarrassed at his excitement. “No skydiving though. I would like that to be known.”

“Consider it known.” She replied, pulling out an old map and an equally old copy of the Into the Woods soundtrack, which she waved at him.

“I was the Prince.” Jonah added with a dazzling smile. Amy nodded her head lightly before almost inaudibly whispering.

“Of course you were.”

Jonah began to find the time passed quicker with Amy listing the possible routes for the journey. Her voice calm and even, clearly audible over the loud sounds of the roads they travelled. It was apparent she didn’t know where the roads would take them when Jonah’s questions were dismissed, yet he didn’t mind. He’d simply chime in with a random story that only had minimal relation to the topics she discussed.

His stories seemed unwelcome originally. She’d roll her eyes and bite back an insult. However, somewhere on the journey it seemed to change. She’d laugh genuinely, loud and bright, and ask questions he didn’t expect.

There was comfort in sharing his life through his stories, his experiences. It was different than his family, no one talking over him, no pressure to live up to, no joke coming at his expense.

Amy seemed to share the sentiment, her stories beginning as superficial. Her first car, Her first date. Yet every moment she shared he felt closer to knowing her, like he was stepping further into the ocean and being surrounded by only her. He felt ridiculous at how quickly he had grown attached to her company, yet he couldn’t find himself to stop himself.

Jonah figured it was natural to feel so close to someone he barely knew considering the time they’d spent together. He didn’t want to run away like usual and he welcomed them getting to know each other.

They arrived at their first stop suddenly, Jonah almost driving past the giant wagon because Amy smiled at something he’d said like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard, like it was a moment they had shared.

Her amusement had faded fast when they’d crossed the street, looking up at the large sculpture from behind a fence. He wished he had a camera to capture the distain on her face, her words lost in the wind as she doubted whether they would actually stumble upon something fun.

Amy had drove to the next stop after much convincing from Jonah, or at least a small amount of begging. It was a smooth journey even if he did refuse to take his eyes off the road just in case, his protective streak over his car making her laugh at his tension.

Once they’d finally parked up and Jonah admitted her driving was fine, they took in the sights of the Golden Pyramid House. While Amy still wanted something more exciting from their roadside stops, they enjoyed the time away from the car. She opened up about her dreams as if the pyramids would grant her wish. Jonah simply watched enthralled as she talked about not wanting to settle for a life less than she wanted, with a house of her own and children she loved. Her voice shook as she talked, expression full of longing, as the possibilities felt real.

He felt truly fortunate to witness her dreams.

They stumbled upon the garage from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off through a few wrong turns and took their chances approaching the small chain-link fence. The air was cold, and the afternoon was fading fast. Jonah leaned against metal casually, confiding in her about his teenage years. He recalled his awkward teenage crushes and his desperation to make his parents proud by doing well in school, even though his own interests lay beyond academic expectations.

Amy’s eyes held understanding and despite the layers of clothing, he felt the warmth of her hand on his arm, a gesture of comfort. Her youthful regrets seemed deeper, like a weight on her chest preventing the words from escaping.

The moment disappeared when a light flickered on at the garage, a voice echoing through the forest telling them to leave the premises. He watched as she took off running towards the car, yelling at him to hurry up in between bursts of laughter. Jonah followed torn between happiness and nostalgia for teenage excursions. Amy appeared to agree as she told him it had been years since she’d done anything like that through labored breaths.

When they reached the final stop for the day, the sky was a perfect sunset and despite Amy’s reluctant acceptance he stopped at a touristy corner shop to purchase a disposable camera. He captured the watercolor sky and then a further few photographs of Amy attempting to hide her face.

The evening air settled in and made her shiver as she looked up at the Leaning Tower of Niles. Jonah shrugged off his jacket, holding it out to her and ignoring her protests that she was fine. She slipped it on and burrowed into the warmth, even if he knew it would do little against the cold when night fell.

He took one final photo of her, wearing his jacket with the tower in focus behind her. Her expression giving away that she knew what he was doing but was content enough to allow it.

When the sky was shifting once again closer to darkness they strolled to the closest diner. It was overly yellow, and the lights were blindingly artificial, yet Jonah wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so happy. They shared their food and laughed loudly over the events of the day. If their interactions in the car felt more like a long-term relationship, inside the diner felt like a first date, butterflies emerging at the easiness of conversation. Every accidental touch seemed to light a fire inside of him and every smile an indicator of something growing.

Neither wished to part when they reached the nearest motel, her head resting lightly on his shoulder, exhausted but content. Jonah walked her to her door, steps dragging to extend the amount of time they could spend together.

He knew it was absurd considering they spent almost 24 hours in each other’s company in the car, yet he didn’t seem to care. Something had changed for both of them. However, he didn’t ask to come inside. He tried to reason with himself that he didn’t want to risk rejection, but he knew it would be too soon, besides he wasn’t in any rush.

Jonah watched as the mist of their breath intertwine in the brisk evening, leaning in closer without any intent. Their hushed voices and the bright moonlight made it feel like a fairy-tale. He didn’t know how long they had spent, not wanting the night to end, only breaking apart when a door slammed in the distance.

They parted reluctantly, deciding on a later time to resume in the following morning and Jonah retreated to his room.

The room was the same as every other motel he had been at and he sunk into the bed as he had done many nights before it. Replaying the events of the day, every smile shared, every joke made, he recounted every moment to make sense of it. He fell into his dreams with a smile on his face.

Jonah had never experienced a week so unlike his regular life. It was like he’d woken up from the haze of his every day and simply existing seemed an exciting prospect. He couldn’t tell where the day would head when he woke up, either in a boring motel or in the passenger seat.

He’d never really used his passenger seat before, allowing it to fill with whatever books he needed to return to the library or old newspapers that he’d picked up for a sense of normalcy. It was depressing, the thought of returning to an empty car when the dream inevitably ended, so he ignored it.

He simply sat and watched as the breeze from the open window and the open road pushed her hair from her face. Her face that he’d taken to noticing to understand more smaller details about her.

The way she’d wrinkle her nose in disgust when a song played that she didn’t like. The way her eyes would shrink as she scrutinized his face when she caught him looking, her lips ready to smirk as she questioned why he was looking. The way he found every single expression, just like every moment with her, a source of salvation.

However, he’d also noticed, despite her acceptable driving skills, she was terrible at navigating. While they had aimed for distance, they mostly drove around the states surrounding St. Louis. Following it like it was a guiding star. Circling it as if they were unable to move more than a few hundred miles away. Jonah wondered if they were trapped in the complicated web of their pasts.

Neither one had opened up entirely yet, afraid of losing whatever stage they were comfortably existing in.

He wanted to mention whatever she was running from so he could do the same. He longed to share his soul with her as everyday convinced him she could understand him for who he was. Although he hadn’t considered the severity of whatever she was running from either.

Regardless of his thoughts he embraced another day as a passenger, caught in the orbit of the brightest star and a deserving friend.

A sharp knocking pulled Jonah from his sleep the following morning. Disorientated he wandered to the door, eyes tightly closed and bumped into the corner of the bed with a yelp. He’d neglected to get dressed in haste, still wearing only his underwear and flung open the door to reveal a fully dressed Amy.

“Rise and Shine…” started Amy, voice tapering off as she noticed he was in a state of undress. Her eyes averting suddenly and awkwardly as she continued. “I thought I’d get revenge for the other day.”

“Well you have succeeded.” he replied, leaving the door open for her to enter as he went to grab a shirt. “Did you want to get on the road earlier?”

Struggling for words, Amy fought the urge to watch him get dressed, eyes shifting around the room rapidly. “No… I just thought we could grab some breakfast and I found a pamphlet for a mini-golf place.”

Nodding lightly as he continued to pull on more clothes, he paused and watched her. Their eyes locked and the atmosphere shifted, only to be broken just as quickly by Amy accidentally knocking over a glass of water.

Jonah rushed forward just as fast as Amy, attempting to soak up some of the water with a spare towel. Their actions hurried as they both worked to minimize the damage. Jonah didn’t realize how close they were until he met her eyes, pupils wide and consuming. He watched as she subconsciously leaned forward, closing the gap further until it was almost impossibly small. He guessed she’d taste like toothpaste, but as quickly as the thought entered his brain she was gone.

“Breakfast?” she said, breaking the silence, voice hoarse.

“Breakfast.” He replied, voice equally as wrecked by longing.

They continued their morning with an uncharacteristic silence. The events of the hotel room seemed to create distance between them, eyes shifting around searching for some distraction. Only when they had both started eating did the conversation resume, stilted but less awkward than the silence.

Despite the frostiness between them, the day was heating up and the sun became a passenger on their trip to the golf course. Amy seemed content in the light of the day, eyes closed as if absorbing comfort from its presence, opening them when the car came to a sudden stop.

“Have you ever played mini-golf before?” asked Jonah, pulling the keys from the ignition as Amy’s eyes trailed the movement.

“Of course.” She replied, finding it easy to resume their reassuring banter. “It can’t be that hard.”

“How about winner chooses which direction we go next?”

“I think we could come up with something better than that.” Laughed Amy, smile blossoming on her face. “but you know what… you’re on.”

 The course was empty when they stepped out, sun already increasing the heat. Amy used the scorecard to fan herself as Jonah took the first putt perfectly.

“There’s no way you managed to get a hole in one already.”

“I guess golf camp really paid off.” Jonah said sarcastically, eyes full of happiness.

“I might not be able to compete with golf camp, but I sure can try, now watch this.” Amy said confidently before hitting the ball off the course and wincing.

“Yeah maybe less like that and… more like a pendulum…” He started, gesturing his arms in a small movement and then indicating he was going to correct her stance. “Can I…?”

“Sure”

Amy moved herself forward to allow him to enter her space, his arms settling gently around her and his hands enclosing her own. Her hair slowly blowing in the breeze and the familiar scent of lavender surrounding her.

Just being close to her felt like something new, something exciting. He carefully corrected her movements, guiding her arms to swing the club. To his surprise, the ball followed the same path as his own, giving her, her first hole in one.

Amy’s voice was loud in his ear as she jumped in his arms shouting about her victory, his arms strong against her back holding her in place. He was already prepared to let her win just to relive the moment again.

The game was close until the end, neither one wishing to admit they wanted to win, yet allowing their competitive sides to show. Until the final hole when Jonah realized, he didn’t want the journey to end so soon and by letting Amy win he could extend the trip as far as she wanted. He purposely hit the ball too hard as he watched it roll past the windmill, enjoying the sound of Amy’s happiness in her belief she could win.

She danced awkwardly when she hit the final hole in one, cheering loudly as she did, excitement unable to be contained. Jonah simply watched with an awe-struck expression and let her gloat all the way to the car.

“So which direction do you want to take?” He asked, staring at her trying to judge her mood.

“Which direction gets us further away from St. Louis?” Replied Amy, eyes firmly attached to the map spread out across her lap.

Jonah contemplated for a minute. He wanted to ask what she was running from, why she was trying to get the distance. Instead he settled on the easy answer.

“If we drive for the next 6 hours at least any direction will be a start”

“Well then I choose West.” Amy finally looked up from the map, eyes misty with an unknown emotion. “Isn’t that what all those writers you like do?”

“I suppose but I always thought the West was associated with Westward Expansion and all the things America chooses to ignore.” Jonah countered, remembering the time he got told off in history class for mentioning it before it was explicitly discussed at college.

“I think it’s nicer to pretend it’s in the name of writers and not the… colonization of America” Amy sighed, attention back to the map signaling the conversation was over.

“Kerouac actually died in Florida so maybe that could be our end goal” Jonah added, not noticing the expression on Amy’s face at the simplicity of his words. He barely even noticed the switch to ‘our’.

“And what would we do in Florida?” Amy whispered, bracing herself for the answer.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never been. I guess we could live in a swamp somewhere and survive solely on oranges?” Jonah added unhelpfully, unaware of the tension seeping into her posture.

Amy hummed in response. Settling lower into the seat and pulling Jonah’s shirt closer to her as if trying to find comfort.

They rode in silence to the next motel. Pulling into a car park with a broken neon sign as Amy reached out and placed her hand on his arm to stop him leaving the car.

“You think we should go all the way to Florida?” Amy asked, voice small and barely audible over the hum of the crickets.

“Yeah... I mean why not... unless you want to go back?” Jonah stuttered, turning his body to fully face her. Eyes scanning hers for an indicator of her concerns.

“No. It’s just we barely know each other, and you still want to go to a completely new place with me and...”

“Hey. You don’t have to commit to anything now. We could turn around tomorrow and that’s fine.” He said calmly, hand slowly moving forward to brush the hair from her face. “Let’s get some sleep and we can decide over breakfast or something. Or we can spend another day here, I think the world’s biggest tyre is around here somewhere. Besides it’s not like I’m asking for your hand in marriage.’ 

He said with a sigh, emotions running too high to notice the way she flinched at the mention of marriage. Pausing the whirlwind he felt, he looked across and checked her reaction before continuing to exhale his words before he could stop himself.

“I just don’t want you to feel trapped with me.”

Amy nodded, clearly noticing the importance of his words. Unable to stop herself from easing his worries. Unable to stop herself from accepting the comfort he was offering, even if he was close to her truth.

“I don’t feel trapped with you... It’s just I think I should. I’ve never done this running away before and I’m...” She trailed off, words escaping her as she considered them as she steadied herself. “I’m scared I guess or maybe that’s not right maybe I’m…”

Jonah couldn’t help himself from reaching forward and cupping her cheek bringing her focus back to him.

“What are you scared of?” His voice low and face open.

She sighed, conflict painting her features.

“There’s still so much we don’t know about each other... I’ve just never felt like this before... I’ve never felt so close to someone so fast and not been hurt.”

He nodded, taking his time to consider his response, holding her hands in his own.

“There’s still time to get to know each other...” he paused, weighing his words carefully before forcing himself to be honest about his emotions. “I would wait for you... I would take it as slow as you want just to spend even another day with you in my passenger seat.”

They embraced the silence, letting the moment end naturally, an example of the patience they had towards falling in love. Jonah was telling the truth about being willing to wait. What they had felt too strong to rush, too strong to force. A connection built through a willingness to open himself to someone unexpected. He didn’t believe in angels or anything similar, but he was beginning to believe in fate or destiny or something leading up to him letting her into his car.

“C’mon let’s go get some rest.” He said, voice thick and eyes honest and caring.  She only nodded in response, connecting their hands when she reached him, touched at his gesture of waiting for her.

Neither had noticed the bizarrely busy car park as they’d pulled in. Approaching the front desk, he proceeded to do the same thing he’d done every night and order two rooms, barely considering the lack of keys left on the shelf. The man at the desk informed them both of only one room being available for the night, words slow and bored. The indifference of the attendant only made worse by Jonah's questions, forcing Amy to step in and accept the room before they were kicked out. 

Uncharacteristically, the walk to the room was silent. Jonah couldn’t understand if it was in hesitation or anticipation, but he continued as calm as he could which naturally meant he stumbled into a plant in panic.

After making it to the room with minor damage, Amy spoke first, avoiding his eyes.

“I’ll take the shower first and we can figure out the bed situation when I get out.”

“I’ll take the floor, don’t worry about it.” Jonah interrupted, shifting a pillow onto the cold yet surprisingly clean floor.

“No, you’re doing most of the driving. I’ll take the floor.” Amy responded, expression innocent but also unconvincing.

“No, I can’t let you take the floor. You barely sleep in the car.” He said, thinking about the times she complained and sniped at him for buying the worst car.

“We’ll just share the bed.” Amy said with an air of finality as she entered the bathroom.

Jonah, unsure if the conversation was over, sat timidly on the edge of the bed planning what he would say. He was sure he could handle the floor for one night, if it made her more comfortable. Besides he’d done it before when he’d gone on holiday with his family and there were only two single beds for him and his brothers. He was content with sleeping on the floor.

Although he was open to sleeping in the bed.

It had been a long day and if they really did want to get further from St. Louis then they’d need to start driving for longer which did not appeal to Jonah or his back. Turning the television on and settling onto the bed, he decided to raise the issue again once she left the shower. Yet as he sat and watched the news, he couldn’t resist the call of sleep.

Sunlight was streaming through the crack in the curtains when Jonah woke up. Incredibly disoriented; he didn’t remember getting under the covers, nor did he remember going to bed with someone else, but a mass of dark hair was tucked carefully into his chest.

He wasn’t sure what to do, keeping his breathing steady to extend the moment for as long as he could. It had been many months since he’d had company and especially not company who didn’t sneak out in the early morning. 

He looked at her mass of hair and their tangled legs before allowing himself a moment to relax. He imagined a life where he could do this every morning and maybe wake her up in another hour with a cup of coffee and a kiss on her cheek. Or maybe a world when they’d get up at the same time and dance around each other in a rush to leave for work.

The moment was broken as Amy shifted closer to him, leaning into his warmth. He wanted to move his hand to her hips and bring her even closer but instead he pulled away and snuck to the bathroom before she even stirred. 

Turning the shower on the coldest setting, he stood in the spray with his head resting on the cool tiles. He was drowning in his emotions. It was ridiculous and impractical and definitely not what he expected when he left his college. After a short session of panicking, he increased the temperature and finally began to wash the stress away. Stepping out into the steam filled room, he wiped the mirror until his face was visible.

His reflection was surprising, hands rubbing across the skin roughly to note the changes. His eyes seemed warmer, the darkness from underneath gone. His hair was longer with the tendency to curl neatly against his forehead. He looked both younger and older.

The sound of knocking on the bathroom door made him jump.

“How much longer are you gonna be?”

“I’ll be right out” Jonah called, hastily drying himself and securing a towel low around his waist.

They met awkwardly in the doorway, Amy rushing in while he rushed out. Although she appeared to stop when she noticed he was shirtless. Her hesitation and visible attempts say something quickly forgotten as she entered the steam.

Jonah refused to allow himself to read into it, getting ready in distraction.

When they set out on the road again, the air between them felt different, lighter and heavier simultaneously. It felt like a stream of gasoline between the pair and Jonah wasn’t sure what would happen if it was sparked alight.

Amy hadn’t decided where she wanted to go so, he settled on driving through Iowa, still stopping randomly. The peace of the journey lulled him into a sense of security, the tension melting away. They stopped at the world’s largest bull to take photos of each other stood underneath. He persuaded her to stop at the matchstick museum and even paid for her ticket like a gentleman. Everything was going perfectly until they arrived at the windmill.

The air was cool and calm, whipping Amy’s hair around her face to her annoyance. Stopping and taking photos as they had done many times previously, they were approached by an elderly lady offering to take a photo of them both. Jonah had simply smiled and thanked the lady, pulling Amy closer into his side for the photograph. It was perfect and real and he barely even noticed that she was suddenly frozen as the lady commented on them being a lovely couple. However, the comment broke whatever light-hearted atmosphere had settled on the pair, with Amy’s back rigid and straight. Jonah tried not to be hurt, but when Amy practically ran to the car he was confused.

“Amy?” He asked, voice wavering in concern. Watching helplessly as she took her belongings from the car.

“Thank you for driving me, but I think I’ll be alright by myself now.”

The confusion was plain on his face, although her eyes were firmly on the ground in front of her.

“I’m not going to leave you here… we’re miles from St. Louis.” He tried, only to be ignored as she walked away from the car.

“I’m serious. There’s no way I’m going to leave you here.” He shouted at her retreating figure before he ran to catch up with her. “Let’s just go back to the car and we can talk about it.”

“Talk about what Jonah.” Amy said, head turning to look into his eyes.

“If you’re upset that lady thought we were a couple then I’m sorry, I should have corrected her.”

“Why didn’t you correct her?”

He paused, unable to understand why he didn’t, although he knew in his heart it was what he wanted.

“I just… I don’t know… It didn’t feel like a big deal.”

“Well it is.” She shouted; eyes wild with an emotion he couldn’t decipher.

“I don’t understand why…” He whispered into the wind, grey clouds appearing overhead.

“Because…” Amy started, hesitation visible on her face, as heavy raindrops began to fall from the sky while it shook with anger. “Because I’m married Jonah. I’m married”

“You’re married?” Jonah repeated, blood draining from his face. “I don’t…”

Jonah composed himself, looking around the empty car park in disbelief.

“If you’re married why are you running away? Are you in danger?”  He had a million questions running through his head and he couldn’t stop himself from releasing them. “Is that where your stuff is? With your husband?”

“Why haven’t you just left yet?” Amy said, tears finally falling from her eyes as the rain soaked her hair.

“I’m not leaving you here. If you want me to leave then I’ll take you somewhere else, but I’m not leaving you here.”

Sighing in understanding, Amy pointed to nearby café for them to escape the rain.

The café was small and simple. Jonah felt like he was intruding when the waitress had to leave the back room just to serve them.

He ordered a coffee and watching the steam rise from the cup as the windows began clouding over from the change in temperature. Amy was awkward at first. Messing with the sugar packets and generally seeming out of character, yet he never saw anything other than the person he had gotten to know.

Once they were left alone, she started talking, voice low and shaky.

“We were 19 when we got married. I thought I was pregnant, and he was nice. Captain of the football team and I was different then I guess.” She said before pausing and taking a sip of her sweet coffee. “I guess I got took in with him. He had all these ideas for the future. For our children.”

Jonah watched as she smiled painfully, remembering the moments she revealed.

“He wasn’t mean or hurtful or anything really. It was probably my problems more than his, but I just woke up one day and the thought of living like that forever was too much.” Her hands were shaking, and Jonah wished to reach out. “I told him I wanted a divorce and I gave him the papers and I then I grabbed a bag and left.”

She thought back to the moment they met and shook her head slightly.

“I guess he cancelled the cards or something and that’s why I was declined at the gas station.”

Jonah was stunned. He wanted to know what the right thing to say was, but the words escaped him. He reached across the table and clasped his hand gently across her hand. She was cold and avoiding his eyes.

They sat in silence, Jonah accepting his questions wouldn’t help the situation they found themselves in. His thoughts falling quiet as she clung onto his hand, her eyes begging for him to give a sign of something.

“So, Florida?” Jonah said breaking the tension, eyes alive and full of hope and optimism.

Amy laughed, despite herself.

“You still want to go to Florida? After all that?”

“Yeah. I’ve got plenty of stuff to run away from too.”

“Oh yeah like what?” Amy interrupted, amusement settling in once again.

“Less important stuff, but don’t worry it’s not an ex-wife or even a girlfriend really” Jonah said, pain in his tone as he remembered his life. “Do you want to go and get your stuff on the way back?”

“What?!” Amy exclaimed, genuinely shocked at the suggestion.

“Yeah your clothes and everything? I’m sure we can fit it in the car.”

“You would really do that? For me?”

“Of course... although I should probably say I’d do it for any of my friends.” He said with a smirk, easily sliding back into the banter.

“Well I’m lucky to call you a friend then.” Amy said, smiling warmly, feeling lighter than before.

Gesturing for the check, Jonah hummed in happiness as he once again looked at the woman who had entered his life in a whirlwind. He couldn’t imagine a day without her, and he couldn’t remember how life had been before her.

Only when they reached the car did Amy speak again.

“So, when are you gonna tell me what you’re running from?”

“Maybe later... as long as there’s no more protesting my music.”

The drive back to St Louis gave Jonah a sense of deja vu. Although the differences in the journey were plain to him.

Amy sat next to him, obnoxiously singing to a random cassette tape he’d forgotten he’d left in the car. The mass of clothes in the back seat had slowly been claimed by her, the consequence of the temperamental summer weather.

The knowledge he had nothing to go back to at college had also set in. Not that he wanted to go back, but the option being gone was scary.

His whole life he’d been expected to go to college and excel, only he lost himself and every motivating factor seemed to escape him when facing the barrel of a deadline. His parents would hate him for wasting his life. His brothers would consider it further ammunition.

Shaking the tension from his shoulders, he joined in with the off-key attempts at singing.

Although the thoughts were inescapable. As he sat at the next rest stop, he wondered how Amy would react. Would she be angry? Would she accept him? Would she think he was being ridiculous? Running away from a life perfectly planned out.

The weight seemed to grow heavier every smile they shared.

Only when they’d settled into the next motel, 50 miles from her house, did he approach the subject again.

“I dropped out of college.” He said once she re-emerged from the bathroom, her hair dripping onto the plush carpet and her expression confused. “That’s what I’m running away from.”

“Oh” Amy said, face the picture of surprise as she moved towards the bed.

“It was business school and I couldn’t handle the pressure.”

“Are you just playing pretend running away?” She whispered, silent rage building even in the intimate setting of the cramped room.

“What? No! Of course not.” He said concerned, not wanting the conversation to shift into uncomfortable territory.

“Then why are you leaving your perfect life to play pretend poor people games?” The ‘with me’ was left unsaid but he felt it regardless.

“I’m not leaving a perfect life.”

“Yeah, like I believe that.” Amy said, back turned and clearly judging him. “You had a chance to actually do something and you’re running away with people who have actual problems. So what? You just drove away to forget about your cushy little life? Your business degree? Your daddy’s money?” Continued Amy, cheeks flushed and chest heaving.

“I do have actual problems thank you very much. I was going to kill myself.” Jonah shouted before he could stop himself. The confession making Amy still and turn to face him, sadness on her features.

“What?”

“No. Nothing. Forget I said it okay. I left a perfect life because... I just did okay.” Jonah said, hands running through his hair, pulling him into the moment.

“Jonah... I...”

He cut her off before she could continue.

“I’m just going to go to my room and go to sleep. We can leave early tomorrow... if you still want to go.” He said before leaving her speechless.

He regretted his words the second he said them and the look in her eyes only confirmed his mistake. Sighing as he entered another plain motel room, he wondered if she was right. Did he destroy a perfect life? Should he have even bothered running away?

Sleep was hard to find, tossing and turning through the night, aware he might have ruined something he had come to love because he wasn’t everything everyone else thought he might be.

He turned on the television, the sound of local news filling the room and lay awake until the sun began to rise.

Everything seemed worse the day after. He was tired and slow and full of regret, even the shower seemed like a heavy burden, but regardless he continued about his day. He didn’t want to dwell on his mistakes when he could just be back on the open road and finding a place where he was meant to be.

Shortly after he’d finished packing his bags, a light knock was heard from his door. He opened the door expecting Amy to tell him she wanted to leave, but instead he was surprised when she jumped into his arms.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer. It felt like she was clinging to stop him from disappearing and he felt equally as anchored by her presence, so much so he barely recognized she was speaking.

“I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it. I don’t know everything that’s happened in your life. I shouldn’t have said it.” Amy whispered into the crook of his neck.

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t have said it like that. I never told you much about my life.” He replied, words tumbling from his lips.

“No. It’s not fine. I’ve just never had any of the choices you’ve had and what I said to you was unfair. I get it if you want me to go…”

“I don’t want you to go. I meant what I said about Florida, even if we end up back here after a month.” Jonah said, resolve strengthening at the chance to truly escape from the places he had roamed aimlessly, grateful for the chance to shed the unhappiness of his studies. 

Florida was a distant prospect that felt closer than ever before.

Amy had drove to a nearby diner she knew well whilst he dozed through the journey. When she entered the waitress greeted her by name and asked about a man named Adam, awkwardly looking between the visibly tired couple in front of them. Thankfully the waitress didn’t push the question further and only returned with coffee. The steam from the mugs rising like the anxiety Jonah felt.

“Are you okay with this still?” asked Amy, eyes large and full of concern. He assumed his nerves were showing.

“Yeah… Yeah… Of course.” He began, voice betraying his hopefully calm exterior. “It’s just when you said he was a football player… did you mean like a football player that could potentially beat me up?”

“We’ll be fine. He should be at work.”

Jonah held his tongue to resist saying that likely meant they’d bump into him anyway. Luck was never on his side.

“I’m sure he’s found someone else by now anyway.” Amy said with confidence that made Jonah’s leg momentarily stop moving. “He never could resist something new and shiny.”

“But you’re the shiniest thing I can imagine.” Replied Jonah, words falling from his mouth before he could stop them, a blush rising to his cheeks.

Daring to look at her, he noticed a mirrored reaction on her face.

“Thank you.” She said, directing her statement at the scalding liquid in front of her. Her fingers twisting into a stray lock of her hair, a nervous gesture he’d noticed.

Grateful for the distraction of the food, they ignored the moment they shared, instead Jonah took the time to talk about his time at college. Even without speaking, he recognized that she had questions for him, and he wanted to rectify the misplaced guilt he felt for burdening her with his problems.

“I only really went for my parents. They wanted me to live up to their expectations and I wanted to live up to my brothers. I just couldn’t handle the pressure anymore.”

The lull of the customers around them encouraging him to continue.

“It wasn’t even like one assignment that I couldn’t handle, it just felt like everything… My friends stopped inviting me to stuff when I wasn’t helping them with their work… My grades just plummeted, and I just couldn’t see anything else for me.”

“So, you just started driving?” prompted Amy, curiosity growing.

“Yeah. I actually only began driving on the day I met you. I probably would have turned back, y’know, if I hadn’t had...”

“Met me?” Jonah nodded sheepishly in response, color once again flooding his face. “I’m glad that we met each other.”

It wasn’t a declaration of love, nor did Jonah expect one, but it filled him with an indescribable emotion. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d have done this for one of his friends but knowing that they existed beyond the boundaries of friendship and before the boundaries of love made their journey more meaningful than he had ever intended.

The view of Amy from the passenger seat almost made him forget about the destination they were heading towards. Her head swaying easily with the music. She was carefree despite their coming actions which Jonah hoped wouldn’t include breaking in.

It was a simple house they pulled up to. A white door. A matching mailbox. Even a large garden visible behind a fence. The front porch was everything every movie told people they should want; it was the American Dream come to life and he couldn’t help but regret how out of reach this dream felt for him. 

Sadness settled into the pit of his stomach and he couldn’t decipher why. It felt like he was witnessing something too personal, too intimate.

He was looking through the windows of a fully formed and almost realized normal life. It was almost as if he saw the children they would have had, running around the sparse living room. He could almost hear the sound of a dog padding across the wooden floors. When Amy rang the bell, he could have seen her opening the door with a child resting perfectly on her hip.

The visions dissipated when the ringing of the bell finished. He was so engrossed he barely noticed Amy gesturing to the open window.

“Are we committing a felony?” Jonah whisper-shouted, helping her climb through the window regardless of the answer.

“Why? It’s my own stuff.” She countered, voice even and echoing around the living space.

Jonah peered through the window, watching her scan the room looking for her belongings. He didn’t want to follow her through. He didn’t want to be responsible for stealing a collection of her belongings. He didn’t want to get arrested or possibly imprisoned for being an accomplice.

Dutifully, he climbed up the pristine siding.

The inside of the house seemed to break whatever spell the outside put him under. It was plain, unassuming, the opposite of the bright light Amy was. He saw the empty photo frames hanging on the wall and the small collection of empty beer cans strewn across the sofa. It wasn’t the family home he thought it was, it could have been, but it wasn’t.

Amy had left it because she didn’t want this life. He didn’t let himself think about if she’d want this life with him eventually.

Turning his attention to the kitchen, he quickly opened and closed the cupboards looking for any possessions that unquestionably belonged to Amy. There were neat stacks of plates and glasses which he bypassed quickly. Instead he grabbed some of the random mugs hoping that she would emerge and tell him what he should actually be looking for.

Still rifling through the drawers, he noticed a figure standing in the doorway to the kitchen and assumed it was Amy. He called out to her, focus still firmly on the array of kitchen goods he had began piling onto the side, ready for her to take.

“What should I be looking for?”

“I don’t know. It depends on what your planning on stealing from my kitchen.” Replied a deep and audibly angry voice.

Jonah closed his eyes, anxiety returning as he felt the man’s eyes watching him. He knew this was going to happen, yet he still did it, a hot flash of regret forming before he could quell it. His legs began to shake as the emotion faded.

Almost as if she sensed the shift in atmosphere, Amy entered the kitchen. She froze just like Jonah did when she saw him, taking in his appearance, before steeling herself. Even just straightening her back and looking in his eyes felt like an act of war.

“Adam.”

Adam sighed after she’d spoke, as if finding a man taking his mugs was the situation he’d hoped for, instead of the inevitable confrontation they were soon to have.

“Amy. What are you doing here?” He scrubbed his hand across his face and came to rest it on his chin, expression pensive. After weighing his options, he shrugged. “I suppose you’re not just here to take my cutlery.”

The silence that followed was uncomfortable. Jonah desperately wanted to move, to flee from the scene of whatever he was witnessing. However, any movement was likely to draw attention to himself and that was the opposite of what he wanted. Feet bolted to the ground; he slowed his breathing while they waited for Amy to answer.

“No. I’m just here to get my things…I thought you’d be at work.”

The silence stretched once again.

“Yeah, I don’t start until three.” Adam said evenly, his lips pursed as he appeared to make the connection between Jonah and Amy. He paused momentarily, weighing his next words and speaking with pure fury. “I see you’ve moved on fast.”

His words seemed to shatter the illusion of calm, Amy’s face twisted into hurt and vicious anger. It was a familiar expression as Jonah recalled how they met, how her frustration bubbled over before he even noticed. Clearing his throat, he was bracing himself to speak to Adam for the first time, wanting to correct the misjudgment he knew upset Amy only days previously, only Amy answered first.

“Yeah, well he doesn’t stare down the shirts of waitresses and he doesn’t waste money on new hobbies every week and he doesn’t rush me into things I don’t want to do.”

The words made Adam recoil as if he had been struck, agony painted on his masculine features. He braced his arms against the counter, using the cool side to keep him steady under the weight of the confession.

“Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I wanted to be divorced at-?” Voice raising in volume as it shook, cutting himself off, he began again sadness hiding the anger beneath. “I thought we were gonna have a family, Amy.”

Jonah couldn’t begin to describe how badly he wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else. He felt like he was watching a car crash happen right in front of him, helpless but unable to look away. It was clearly a discussion they’d had before, all the words carefully weighted and calculated in rage.  This was definitely too intimate for him to see, yet he had seen it. He felt responsible for the events unfolding even if he didn’t cause them.

“I’m going to wait in the car.” He said, eyes firmly on the floor and not the disaster around him. There was nothing he could do except wait.

Amy let him go easily, eyes cloudy with tears. Adam simply nodded; the gesture provided no comfort.

The exterior of the house was the same as he entered, he watched the trees sway lightly in the summer breeze until the clock said 2:30, when Amy emerged. Another intimate moment he had intruded on as Amy and Adam held each other on the porch. It wasn’t a romantic embrace, instead it felt like an ending, their tears glistening in the sun.

He kept his silence as she entered the car, turning to face her an attempt to understand any possible reaction she might have had. She met his gaze with a determination he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before and nodded to him to drive.

Jonah began to drive around St. Louis, once again trapped in its orbit, car slightly more full than when they arrived.

It felt too bright for what he had witnessed, endings always felt better in the cool of winter when the dark nights could hide emotion. Although Amy didn’t seem to be going through the waves of loss like he’d expected. Her eyes closed to the sunlight, face passive and all traces of the events earlier gone.

Realization had been on her face when she opened her eyes. Jonah had only been driving in circles for 30 minutes before she told him to pull into the diner across the street, her urgency causing him to cut across the road in a manner less safe than he’d have liked.

It was a different diner than where they had eaten breakfast, smaller and less bright. Jonah thought it felt more like a restaurant than a diner, with artwork covering the walls and tables for two placed around the room. The air was sweet, a mist of powdered sugar seemingly covering everything in the building.

“I used to come here all the time when I was a teenager, they do the best desserts I’ve ever tasted.’ Amy started, memories dancing on her tongue. She recalled the orders she’d make with her friends, with her family. Her past being told through the array of plates she’d ordered, the owner remembering her usual orders.

Returning to the place she had grown up appeared to relight the spark she had lost in her fight with Adam. Her past was her story to tell and as they left the diner for the next spot she remembered; Jonah felt elated at witnessing her return to innocence. The stories she told existed in the safety of childhood and adolescence, before the realities of adulthood had lurked around every corner.

They visited the icons of her childhood; the gardens, shops and bridges that still remained. Their smiles genuine and warm, even when they visited the football field she’d fallen in love at. Although her story for the field involved the first time she’d gotten high, and not the progression of the relationship he’d witness being placed firmly in the past.

Jonah thought there was something poetic about her speech while they followed the lines of her history. It felt like another ending. She was packaging her past ready to be moved on, ready to be the author and leading character of whatever came next.

They spent the night in a small hotel in St. Louis. It was different than the other motels, no weird smells or stains, no possible infestations. It was also different because they decided to share a room on purpose, both for cost and for reasons unspoken.

Amy had picked up some alcohol from a shop she’d told him didn’t check IDs, her amusement clear even if she was old enough to legally purchase it.

They sat in comfortable, drunken silence on the large bed, watching television. Jonah’s heart was beating fast at the limited distance between them, unsure of himself and what would happen next. He inhaled in surprise when a small hand reached out to him, playfully twirling their fingers together in drunken joy, measuring the size difference between their palms.

He prided himself on only coughing slightly in nervousness when Amy finally connected their hands, a firm grasp as if he was going to disappear if she didn’t hold onto him.

Watching her reaction, their eyes met, and the atmosphere shifted. Her hands leaving his own, tangling into his hair and pulling him into her, lips meeting softly at first. Jonah’s reactions dampened by the liquor, made worse by the taste on her lips. The only thought in his head was Amy, her name echoing through his mind like a mantra.

Amy was breathless in anticipation, hands shaking as she tugged on his hair in a tender, but forceful moment. Jonah watched her pupils grow as he pulled her closer, desperation seeping into the movement.

He closed the gap and Amy breathed into the kiss. It felt like fireworks and wildfire and tornadoes racing through his veins. He settled her onto his lap as he deepened the kiss, hands firmly on her waist.

“Is this okay?” He asked as he pulled back, looking flustered but caring.

“Yeah. Just don’t stop.” Amy replied chasing his lips.

He was ready to give in and do anything she wanted, the tension simmering under his skin and setting him alight with every touch. However, his conscience reminded him of the events of the day, forcing him to pull away.

“I’m not sure we should do this- I mean you’re grieving your relationship…”

Amy didn’t react in the way he expected, her voice steady and her eyes still on Jonah’s lips.

“I’m not grieving my relationship Jonah; I’ve already done that from the first day I got married. I want to be happy…” Her voice lowered, the determination he’d seen earlier appearing. “I deserve to be happy.”

Jonah nodded as she leaned in again, pressing her lips to his so lightly he wasn’t sure it had even happened or if it was a figment of his drunken imagination.

“You make me happy.”

Her voice was soft, almost younger. He nodded in response, the events of the day remaining unsaid yet at the forefront of their minds. It was a sobering thought and one that made Jonah shiver. He pulled her into an embrace instead, trying to ease his own nerves and quieten the thoughts racing.

After a short while he heard the light snores that indicated Amy was asleep, freezing in his position to not wake her.

“You make me happy too.” He whispered, lips brushing against her hair, before accepting the sleep washing over him.

They awoke later than they’d expected, wasting the day on a late breakfast and another trip into her memories.

“Now, how far are we from Graceland?” Amy asked when the sun was low in the sky, walking towards the car, ready for her past to exist solely in the rear-view.

“I’d guess like five or six hours. Why did my Paul Simon cassette rub off on you?” He sent her a smile full of cheekiness and watched her cheeks flush as she attempted to deny his accusation. “I think it will be closed, but as long as you promise not to break in, I’ll take your photo outside.”

“I don’t know why I even got in this car with you.” Amy replied, no malice in her voice as she turned up the stereo and they drove into the warm afternoon.

Graceland was indeed closed when they arrived, but the slightly suspicious Elvis themed gift shop was open. It was full of random artifacts Jonah knew his mother would have loved, although he doubted whether they were genuine. A cloud of smoke seemed to hang around the entire shop, every breathe he took felt suffocating, only countered with the ice-cold air conditioning. Amy seemed to sense his unease, pulling the slightly too long plaid shirt closer to herself.

Jonah didn’t intend on buying anything, but he grabbed a baseball hat and an almost certainly too big t-shirt while Amy settled on old cassette of his greatest hits. She shrugged when she’d shown it him, regretfully admitting she’d never listened to many of his songs.

They escaped the shop after spending slightly more than they should have done, the balmy evening air a respite from the chill they’d found inside and their vehicle a haven against the world.

Jonah slipped the cassette into the radio as he watched Amy extend her arms in front of her, stretching away the tiredness he knew she was feeling. Her eyes closed slowly, blinking as if sleep was smothering her like syrup. He continued watching as she embraced sleep, sighing lightly, a whisper above the music.

Despite the peacefulness of his passenger Jonah felt wide awake. The inky black sky calling him to drive further into the night. He wondered where the stars were as he drove alone in his consciousness, although unlike previous times he didn’t wish for them to keep him company, he only wanted proof that beauty existed beyond the walls of the car.

It took exactly two and a half listens to the Elvis cassette until he reached the next motel. The summer night had settled, and the moon was bright. Amy stirred lightly when they stopped, eyes adjusting from the dark roads to the illuminated parking lot.

Jonah scanned the almost empty parking lot, the only car at the opposite end of the asphalt, a smirk settling onto his face when he formed his plan. He lowered the window, increased the volume on the stereo and hopped out of the car, approaching Amy’s window and tapping lightly.

“What are you doing?” she asked, suspicion etched onto her face.

“Come on”

“Why?”

He didn’t reply, instead focusing on helping her out of the car, hand gently grasping hers. He knew she was resisting the urge to question him again, but he felt a warmness in his stomach when she didn’t.

Sweeping her into an impromptu dance, he placed one hand tenderly on her waist while raising her other. The actions shocked her and in the orange of the streetlight he watched her expression shift from curiosity to mild embarrassment.

“J- Jonah… What are you doing?”

“We’re dancing to Elvis… at midnight… in pretty much the middle of nowhere.”

His voice was low and deep, the words spoken into her hair. Their only company the stars visible thanks to the distance between them and the city. It was everything he hoped the moment would be.

Amy seemed to be emboldened by the isolation, her movements easy and relaxed. When Jonah spun her, she threw her head back in happiness and collided with his chest. They both fell into laughter, small giggles bubbling from their lips until Jonah stopped.

His eyes unfocussed glanced at her lips, subconsciously licking his own, the gesture being mirrored by the girl in front of him. He couldn’t recall leaning in, but their faces were closer, closer than he’d even realized.

The air was almost electric when Amy leaned in closing the gap.

Her lips were soft and sweet, perfect in every way.

He imagined waking her with light kisses every morning and kissing her with passion in the evening. He imagined passing her in a kitchen and kissing her on the cheek. He imagined every kiss they could possibly share over an endless amount of time. Even the thought of never kissing her again was a painful so he banished it from his head, along with his anxiety.

Suddenly Jonah couldn’t imagine a life without her.

When Amy pulled away, he chased her, desperate for the salvation her mouth provided. She tilted her head in response, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Jonah could have spent the entire night holding her in the moment.

She did finally pull away, his hands still tangled in her hair. Neither one spoke for a moment, embracing each other the same way they were embracing the chance to be together. Her eyes were cloudy with an emotion he couldn’t decipher, and he began to ramble, anxiety returning with intensity.

“I’m sorry… we don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to, I just thought-”

She seemed to debate what she should do next, before pulling him in, connecting their lips again. He felt dazed when she finally pulled away again, lips tingling, and hair mussed. It was just as heavenly as their first kiss and thankfully it didn’t feel like their last.

“I do… want to do it again, but we should stop.” Amy paused, a mischievous smirk replacing the innocence. “We are in public after all.”

The comment made him blush, despite his attempts to seem unaffected. He stepped away, rolled up the windows and turned off the car. The actions less clean and precise than he would have liked in his love-drunken state.

“Let’s go see if they have any rooms.” Jonah said, arms gravitating back towards her as soon as the distance shrunk.

“You do realize the car park is empty? They probably need to pay people to stay here”

“Maybe the rooms are nice, it could be a hidden gem...”

“Or a hidden serial killer lair” Amy joked, picking up on the uncertainty in his voice.

“Do you think that serial killers live in lairs? Cause statistically speaking you’ve probably passed more on the street.”

As their usual back and forth continued, the desire he felt shifted from an urgency into a soothing comfort nestled in his chest. Later in the night, when the lukewarm water washed over his body, he organized his thoughts. 

He’d been reckless and desperate and wanting of whatever it was his parents chased and his brothers ignored.

He was in love.

Mississippi did not appear to reflect the joyous mood Jonah was in and neither did Amy. She’d grunted when he’d passed her a cup of too hot, too sweet coffee, accepting a greasy breakfast sandwich with exhaustion. He’d asked her how she’d slept when she’d gotten in the car, but it was apparently the wrong question to ask from the disdain he’d received in reply.

Although her mood slightly improved when she’d seen the world’s largest cedar bucket, relishing the opportunity to laugh at his excitement over a seven-feet tall piece of wood. She’d taken his photo without prompting and even allowed him to take a few of her, in return for another kiss.

Jonah wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to that.

When they approached Tupelo, Amy asked if Elvis was haunting them. He’d shrugged in response, answering in the worst attempt at Elvis impersonating she’d ever heard. Her laughter brilliant and loud; her face open and radiant.

They didn’t witness any ghosts at the small shack he grew up in, hands clasped together as they trailed the museum. He wore the hat he’d purchased the night before; Amy in the t-shirt, tied tightly around her waist, leaving Jonah to chase the warm skin between her clothes. His touch delicate but encouraging, hot like the summer sun. Her eyes drawing him in, reveling in the chase.

He kissed her sweetly outside the church they walked past, innocence in the action, but not in the thought. The sticky warmth forcing them into a nearby shop, another opportunity to follow her through the air-conditioned rows of ornaments, hands chasing the heat of her body away from any watching eyes.

Continuing to explore the town until the warmth had subsided, the afternoon breeze guided them to a small corner shop. The trip turning leisurely as if it could extend the daylight hours.

Sitting on the steps of the curb by the side of their car, they sat, watching the traffic and eating their snacks. It was an untouchable moment, smiles wide and eyes the brightest they’d shone since they first met, a deeper connection building in every small brush.

When they finally continued the journey through Mississippi and into Alabama, Amy turned the stereo up, sound escaping down the empty roads and into the hazy afternoon. Contentment so clear she didn’t even complain about the pointlessness of the thirty-five-foot rocking chair Jonah had accidentally stumbled upon.

The World's Largest officer chair couldn't hold her attention either, boredom seeping into her actions. Her fingers slipped out of his to complain about the frequency they arrived at giant seating areas, with her hands cradling his face. Jonah complied and gave her his full attention, kissing her lazily in the backseat like teenagers until the weather began to turn. The windows steaming up and protecting them from the violent summer storm happening outside.

Heavy rain stopped them from getting close to the Big Peach Water Tower and the World’s Largest Brick Made of Bricks. Instead Amy wiped the condensation from the windows, a small glimmer of the monuments visible as she snapped a picture. Jonah wasn’t sure how the pictures would look, but regardless the memories would make them worthy of being framed.

However, Amy wasn’t going to let the rain ruin their evening, running out across slippery paved streets to take a photo of The Fallen Robot. Jonah followed; shirt soaked from the rain within seconds, cold settling into his bones. He looked forward to getting the photographs developed so he could relive the moment, but from the comfort of dry clothing.

The rain didn’t stop Amy, her pace steady and smile blinding. She pulled him in by his collar despite his desperation to return to the car. She looked up at him through water-soaked eyelashes, a picture of beauty and chaos. His complaints died on her tongue.

It was worth the damp skin and cold induced shivers. Amy was worth everything.

Their shivering had subsided by the time they pulled up to the motel, although neither made a move to leave the car. The night revealing fears and insecurities easily hidden in the sunlight. They spoke over each other initially, nervousness inspiring the jumble of words. Once they’d paused to take a breath Jonah started.

“You know we could probably make it to Florida tomorrow, Tallahassee must be like seven hours away.”

“What are we going to do when we get there?” Amy asked, her fingers twisting through each other in apprehension.

“I thought we’d figure it out when we get there. We don’t really have much to lose. We can get jobs, rent a place maybe, visit the beach. We can just start again.”

“Together.”

“Yeah, until one of us decides that together isn’t working…and… and then they can just leave… no questions asked.”

Amy nodded, almost too enthusiastically, as if she knew that would never happen. Jonah only hoped he wasn’t reading too much into the awkwardness, overcompensating as he shook his head in a mirrored image.

“Yeah, no questions asked, just taking off in the dead of night like we did now.”

“I left early in the morning, but I agree with your point.”

They were both too stiff, too agreeable, but neither commented. Jonah continued speaking, voice hushed over the lull of the stereo and the sounds of the night.

“I’m nervous.” She revealed.

“Me too, but it will be better than what we’ve left.” Jonah said with a confidence than made her raise her eyebrow at him. He reached out and grabbed her hands, palms fitting together like puzzle pieces.

“How do you know?”

“I have amazing company.”

Amy laughed and looked away, breaking the spell between them. It was an angelic sound and Jonah couldn’t resist laughing with her. She was radiant, hair shifting in the movement, the golden streetlights covering her like the summer had covered them. Jonah took in her beauty, securing the image in his mind, knowing the visions of her were his favorite memories. Unable to resist the call of her lips he leaned in and closed the gap between them, knowing he would continue to do so for as long as she wanted him.

They left the car in high spirits, hand in hand, checking into another motel, sharing another room in another place. Another perfect summer evening, with the start of new story for them to begin.

~~~~~~

“So, Disney World?”

“We’ve been in Florida for ten minutes and you already want to go to Disney World?”

“We could always try and find an orange tree and a swamp if you prefer.”

“Disney World it is.”