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"Zari?" Lily asked. "Are you all right?"
"Fine." Zari tried to brush her and Ray off. "Just looking for a book."
"I have one!" Ray said. He fished it out his drawer. "It's about two soulmates who reincarnate, and-"
"Ray, Zari doesn't need to hear about your seventeenth century love affair," Lily said.
"Yes I do," Zari said. "Spill, Raymond."
"Oh, well, it all started when-"
"Zari," Lily said. "It's two o'clock in the morning. Why are you here?"
"Looking for a book. This is a library." Lily raised her eyebrow and Zari sighed. "I couldn't sleep. Again."
"You told them you couldn't remember," Ray said. "Why would you lie about that?"
"I didn't want things to change. I like being the one who flaunts the rules, the way they were all looking at me, the pity-"
"You were hurting," Lily said. "They care about you, of course you hurting makes them hurt. You're family. You're our family too."
"I saw them die. I watched them all die, so many times, and I couldn't save them."
"Hey." Ray wrapped his arms around her. "Zee, you did it, you saved them, they're here, they're alive. Everyone is home safe. You did that."
"What if I can't next time? How do I live with those memories?"
"I don't know. I... How up to date are you on Arthurian Legend?"
"I did some reading once I agreed to work in a building with Excalibur and a Knight of the Round Table."
"I wasn't one of Arthur's knights. I was Galahad's squire. I was at Camlann. Old Geoffrey-"
"Ray," Lily said.
"Right. My brother, we were twins, but he was born a few minutes before me. He went to work for Galahad's father, Lancelot. I stayed in Camelot after Arthur died. Queen Guinevere knighted me, and I served her. And then I met Lily and came to the Library. I saw my brother again nearly a thousand years later. He'd followed Lancelot till the end and beyond."
"The Serpent Brotherhood," Zari realised. "Sidney, that's how you knew him, he was your brother. He died. Ray-"
"I found my new family a long time ago, with Lily, Martin, and Clarissa. Immortals, we have trouble connecting to people sometimes. Human lives are so short when you're a thousand years old. We've both lost friends too, Zari. Family. One day we'll lose Jax. Amaya, Nate, and Wally. And you. I don't think I've been dreading a day so much since my mother told me she was ill. But if I've learnt one thing in all this time, it's that heartbreak only comes from love, and nothing in this world, not science, not magic, is more powerful, more beautiful, more important than love."
"But it's hard."
"We know what it's like to lose the people you care about," Lily said. "And if you need to talk, we're both here for you."
"Thanks," Zari said. "Both of you."
Amaya walked in. She stifled a yawn with her hand, then smiled at Zari.
Zari's heart skipped.
"I thought I might find you here."
"You were looking for me?"
"You can't sleep, can you? You lied to us."
"Amaya-"
"Zari, I'm your guardian. It's my job to look after you. I can't do that if you're not honest with me. But I do understand."
"I wish I didn't remember."
"I know. But you need sleep."
Amaya took Zari's hand and led her out the Annex.
"We should tell them there's a history of Librarians and Guardians falling in love," Ray said. "Your parents did. Jax and Sara did. If she came back tomorrow..."
"Ray," Lily said. "You know we can't. One day, but not yet."
"At least Amaya and Zari are happy. I don't know what we're going to do this time, Lily."
"Let's just not think about it. Let's not."
Ray slipped his hand into Lily's.
"I don't know if I can do it this time, Ray."
"We should get some sleep."
"We don't need sleep."
"I know. But I never did drop the habit. And there's nothing like sleeping on a problem."