Chapter Text
Tzuyu was thirteen when she first fell in love with an older girl.
She and her mother had just moved to Korea from Taiwan. Her mother was out at work a lot so Tzuyu was left with a babysitter slash Korean tutor.
Her name was Im Nayeon, she was four years older than her.
Tzuyu's first impression of her? She hated her. She thought Nayeon was just some pretty and popular mean girl who was just scamming money out her mother. She thought Nayeon had no intention of actually teaching her anything or even watching over her properly- not that she even needed a babysitter. She was thirteen, damn it.
Nayeon proved her wrong though. Nayeon taught her so much and was so patient with her, save for the constant teasing and joking around. Nayeon also treated her more like a friend than some kid she was being paid to hang out with.
They eventually became good friends, so much that Nayeon stopped charging her mother for the babysitting. She babysat (hung out) with Tzuyu for free.
Nayeon was her only friend. Well, the only person she liked hanging out with and talking to.
She started to crush on her senior, a crush that later blossomed to love.
Tzuyu was in love with her.
Maybe it was the way she smiled at her, the way she brushed her hair back when it was getting in the way, the way she slapped her shoulder when she laughed, the way she clung to her like a koala, the way her lips were so soft against her cheek.
Whatever it was, it made her fall in love with Nayeon.
So on February 14, Valentine's day, Tzuyu went to the big scary high school with a box of chocolates. She waited outside, sitting on the grass.
She never stood up so fast until she saw her beautiful tutor walking out the school. A bouquet of flowers and a huge teddy bear occupying her arms, a tall handsome boy walking beside her. They were smiling and laughing.
Tzuyu went home and gave the box of chocolates to her mother instead. She cried in her room.
The next day, Nayeon came over to tutor her. She asked the younger girl why she was outside the high school yesterday. Tzuyu told her that she wanted to walk home with her but saw she was occupied. Nayeon apologized and patted her thigh.
"Let's walk home together tomorrow." she kissed Tzuyu's cheek.
Tzuyu is confused.
The day after, she went to the high school again. She waited and waited until she had the courage to ask a student where Nayeon was. He told her that she went home with this guy named Jinyoung.
Nayeon called in sick the next day and said she couldn't tutor Tzuyu. It wasn't true though because Tzuyu saw her at an ice cream parlor with the same guy she was with on Valentine's day. He must be Jinyoung.
Tzuyu hates this. She hates her.
On the weekend, Nayeon apologized for everything and tried to schedule another time that they could go home together. Tzuyu told her that she'll stick to going home alone, Nayeon didn't protest.
But why was Nayeon holding on to her hand so tightly? Why was Nayeon hugging her while they studied? Why was Nayeon playing with her hair?
Tzuyu's about to explode.
Nayeon started texting her less and less but when she did they were always so sweet and god, Tzuyu's hair is turning white from all this stress.
Tzuyu's just sitting in her classroom, drawing on her notebook.
She overhears a classmate of hers crying saying something about "He was so sweet to me with all his kisses and hugs and how he always wanted to hold my hand. Turns out he's dating her!" the cherry on top though was when the crying girl's friend said "I can't believe that jerk was leading you on! I'm so sorry for insisting you ask him out!"
Tzuyu realizes, Nayeon was leading her on.
She asks her mother if she can stop tutoring. Her mother said yes, her Korean has improved anyway.
She tried everything she can to avoid Nayeon, to protect her heart.
She hates this, she hates love, she hates her.
She manages to avoid Nayeon for a month, she feels like her crush on the older girl is slowly dying down and fading away.
That is until she finds the older girl sitting in front of her house's gate with a box of milk in her hand. Her heart skips a beat and she hates herself so much right now for letting Nayeon in and accepting the box of milk.
Nayeon apologizes for anything she did to make Tzuyu upset with her, Tzuyu wants so badly to be mad at her and ask her to stay away but instead she forgives her. They hang out again like normally, Nayeon goes back to holding her hand and kissing her cheek and breaking her heart.
Nayeon is still dating that boy but she's still so touchy with Tzuyu.
Tzuyu decides that she's okay with this.
She's okay with having her heartbroken, with being used and abused like this. She wants this because she's in love with Nayeon.
It isn't until she's fourteen and Nayeon comes over to her house very late at night while her mother is sleeping.
She lets Nayeon in. The older girl was swaying and slurring her words and she smelled awful. Tzuyu realizes she's drunk.
Nayeon was complaining about how stupid boys are and how stupid her boyfriend is and how much she hates him.
She slowly starts to lean in, trying to kiss Tzuyu. Tzuyu's heart was pounding in her chest, sweat forming at her hairline.
She stopped Nayeon when their noses touched, she pushed away the older girl.
"Do you even like me?" Tzuyu asked, Nayeon shrugs "I don't know." Tzuyu learned something knew that day, drunk people were just like kids; they were honest.
"Then why do you lead me on?" Tzuyu picks at the hem of her shirt, Nayeon bites her lip "I don't know... I noticed that you had a crush on me so I thought it would be fun to tease you, I wanted to see how far I could go."
Tzuyu's thanks her for the honesty. She lets Nayeon stay the night since the girl was at least tipsy and it was way unsafe to be going home alone.
Nayeon wakes up the next morning with a headache, she was intoxicated but she vividly remembers what she said last night. She apologizes to Tzuyu and she leaves. For good.
Tzuyu's relieved to be free of that stupid crush, of her stupid first love.