Work Text:
To my dear Eren Yeager,
It has been about 3 summers since you've passed at my hand. I feel as if it gets harder every single day to wake up and push forward through life, but someone has to do it, and it ought to be me. Armin has around 6 years left, so I am spending every minute I can with him and our friends. Historia's baby is absolutely beautiful. She is over the moon happy with her child, which is quite good given that she honestly didn't seem happy to have her in the first place. Jean and Connie miss you a lot as well. I know, it's surprising that Jean of all people would care but he took your death quite hard. He wishes he would've been kinder, that maybe you two could've been friends, but I told him that you cared for him regardless. The Captain is living his life out peacefully by the sea, drinking lots and lots of tea and enjoying the company of warm fires and books. Falco and Gabi really don't have a home or family to return to, and Pieck passed away two summers ago, so they've decided to stick on the island with us. Gabi has really grown from when we first met her. I can tell her actions have deeply affected her, but she is so kind and thoughtful now that even you would be pleased with how she is. Falco has a good 9 years left and I believe he plans on marrying Gabi somewhere in that time. Those two are adorable.
It reminds me of us when we were children, you know? From the first moment I met you, that day when I was kidnapped, I knew there was something special about you. Call it the Ackerman bond or whatever, but I believe that we were destined to meet. At first you were something to me that signified the idea of hope and a future. You were like an older brother, valiant and brave, coming to rescue your little sister from evil. The scarf became a constant in my ever-changing life. You became my constant. Once we got older, I developed more serious feelings for you and knew that you were the one. The day you told me you hated me tore my heart into the tiniest shreds but I still loved you. I knew you were only doing it to protect me.
I think about what could have happened if I would've told you I liked you sooner, though I'm sure that nothing truly would change. You were assigned a part to play before you were ever born and it kills me that you never got to experience your freedom until the day you died. In another life, I dream we would've gotten married. We could've had children and named them after your mother and Hannes and some of the friends we've lost along the way. I know you would have been the most amazing father, Eren. You have always stuck up for what was right and I know you would've taught our children the same. They would've been little fighters just like their dad. Our wedding would've been absolutely beautiful as well. Historia would've been my maid of honor and I am sure Armin would've been your best man. We would've drank and laughed and kissed and hugged and spent that entire night with our friends. I know you would've only had about 4 years left, but I would've lived out those years with you regardless.
I know you told me to forget about you once you passed and to attempt to live a normal life. My life has never been normal, Eren. Ever since you came into it, it has been nothing but extraordinary. You saved me in all the ways that someone could possibly be saved. You gave me my will to live and my love for our friends and people. You changed everything. I could never forget something as wonderful as you were. But the years keep going by and I forget what you look like sometimes. Jean has sketched a nice drawing of your face but it doesn't feel like you. Nothing could ever replace you while you were here. I'm getting called outside to the fire with our friends, so I'll cut the letter here. I know you'll never receive these, but I wish you could just see them or me once more. I wish you were here, Eren.
With love,
Mikasa