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"What do you want?" I grumble, taking a drag of my cigarette and dropping it to the ground, squishing it like a bug.
"You know exactly what I want." The male in front of me says, leaning against his car, a Mazda RX-7.
"You ask for a different thing everytime-" I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.
"But all of them involve you;" he grins, taking a hit of his vape.
I stay silent and turn around, looking off into the river. The Tokyo lights shine in the distance.
I'm brought back to reality when I feel his hand trace over my hips.
"Cut it out." I hiss at him, moving away. His brown eyes followed me.
"Awe, don't make me play cat and mouse."
"Were not playing anything. I'm leaving." I briskly walk to my car and open the door, shutting it on his face.
He taps the window as I collect my thoughts, and I roll it down for him.
"Y/n, I haven't been completely honest with you." He blows smoke into my face, my eyes water.
"How so?" I ask, patting my eyes dry.
"Becuase I broke your one rule.."
"You-" he grabs my hand.
"I'm so god damn on love with you. I know I said I wouldn't fall but your just too addictive. I can't keep doing this if its not in a relationship." I pull my hand away, turning away from him.
"Whatever Suna." I shift the gearstick into drive and leave him standing alone.
******
"Didn't think you'd come!" Mika smiles at me, letting go of her boyfriends hand to come hug me. Its been two weeks since the conversation with Suna.
"I found time in my schedule." I joke, pulling away.
"I'm honoured." She teases and stands back at Daishou's side.
"Did we have to invite those idiots-" he nods his head at the two in question. Bokuto and Kuroo.
"You know they were coming regardless of the invite, 'Kaashi works here." I remind, playing with my hand bag.
"Oh yeh."
"Y/n! You came!" Bokuto yells over the crowd and makes his way to us, Kuroo following around.
"Of course," I smile," though we got here a little early."
"Yeh but we'll be the first ones in." Kuroo points out.
"True."
"I'm surprised this guy came though." Kuroo leans on Daishou, only to get brutally pushed off.
"Fuck you Kuroo."
"In your dreams." Kuroo blows a kiss.
"Those two will never learn." Mika laughs, Bokuto jumped into their conversation, telling them they fight like a married couple.
That set the bomb off, which caused more laughter from Mika.
"Something wrong Y/n?" Bokuto asks, staring into my soul.
"No no, just spaced out for a minute!" I reassure, lying through my teeth.
"Does it have to do with Suna?" Daishou asks.
".." I look away and Daishou makes an in pain sound, Kuroo probably elbowed him in the ribs.
"What did he do this time!" Bokuto asks, his brotherly love towards me kicking in.
"He told me he's in love with me and can't keep doing our thing if its not relationship wise." I spill to them.
"And you don't want a relationship." Kuroo and Bokuto say at the same time.
"Ye-" I'm cut of by Mika.
"No. She's scared of getting into a relationship becuase of her past relationship." I glare at her and then she turns to me.
"Just becuase you fell and he left the country, shouldn't stop you from moving on with your life. Stop waiting on that bastard and move on already, you deserve it."
"But-" I try to argue back.
"No. He doesn't want you to wait for him, he's moved on. You've seen the evidence. Now its time to do things for yourself." Mika snaps. Its been a long time since she was like this.
"Come inside when you've cooled down okay?" She smiles and they go inside.
I walk away from the bar and sit in my car, rolling down the windows for a cigarette
People always leave, so why wouldn't Suna? He'll see how annoying and clingy I am and leave. Just like he did.
But then a memory floated to the surface. One from when we first started our arrangement.
*
"Y/n whats wrong?" Suna comes out of the bathroom, towel tied around his waist and water dripping down his body.
I wipe my tears with the blanket that was still wrapped over me.
"I'm just so tired Suna. And overwhelmed. It felt so good to let loose and now I'm in tears." I sob, leaning into his body.
"Shh its okay. Its okay." He strokes my hair.
"But its not! I always end up crying!" A nee batch of tears flood into my eyes making my vision blurry.
"Y/n," Suna grabs my face and rubs my tear away," it doesn't matter if you cry, I'll always be here to wipe your tears."
*
"Akaashi give me a drink." I sit down at a barstool beside Mika.
"Better?" Mika asks, sipping her own drink.
"I guess." I mutter.
"Y/n the usual?" Akaashi asks.
"Sure, doesn't matter." I respond, looking out into the crowd of people.
I keep to myself, not bothering to interact with the others. Akaashi hands me my drink, a whiskey sour, and I give him a thankful smile.
*
"Suna!" I call out, crossing the street. It was a sunny day, but not warm, the breeze blew every few seconds spreading leaves onto to road.
"Y/n, whats up?" He asks, waiting for me.
"Just got out of class, I was wondering if I could come over to your place tonight?" I ask, bumping my shoulder into him as we walk.
"I don't have plans for the rest of the day, we could start now.." He gives a devilish grin.
"Im down." I smile at him. He grabs my hand and we make our way through the streets until we reach his apartment complex.
It wasn't to shabby or to fancy, I've been here multiple times already.
I'm practically shaking with excitement for what the afternoon will behold.
"Your that excited?" Suna asks.
"Of course, you always make me feel so good~" I tease, leaning against the wall.
"Already starting the dirty talk?" Suna asks, using the infamous kabedon.
I nod," Yes sir."
"You're a naughty girl," he leans in to whisper in my ear,"I think you need to know your place."
I suck in a deep breath of air as Suna starts sucking on my neck, he grabs my hips and thrusts them into his.
The elevator dings and Suna pulls away, wiping his mouth with his hand.
"C'mon, I'm not finished with you.." He grabs my hand and practically drags me down the hall and into his apartment.
I barely have time to take off my shoes before Suna has me pressed against the wall, one of his legs between mine and he has my wrists pinned to the wall.
"Your so beautiful," he whispers and kisses me softly at first. I can taste the nicotine in his mouth.
I open my mouth willingly, letting his tongue in. It goes from my teeth to my cheeks, and then to my tongue. While our tongues wrestle I rub myself against Suna's leg.
He finally lets go of my wrists and they immediately tangle through his brown hair.
He pulls his mouth away and wetly kisses my lips, then my cheek, and he grabs my face, turning it to the side and kissing my jaw and down my neck.
"Hgrh, Suna I want you to fuck me." I say between breaths of pleasure.
"I'm getting there babygirl." He mumbles against my skin. I continue to rub my cunt on his leg, moaning his name as he sucks on a part of my collarbone.
"Why'd you wear such a tight shirt?" Suna asks, tugging on the fabric," take it off."
I bring my arms down and pull the shirt over my head,tossing it to the side.
Goosebumps crawl over my body, it gets worse as Suna's eyes scan over my torso. "New bra?" He pulls at the strap and let it go, snapping against my skin.
"Mhm, I thought you'd like the lace." I admit, bringing my hands back to his hair, curling a strand around my finger.
"Its alright, but you know I don't care what you wear." He smiles, making eye contact with me.
I nod and he kisses my lips. "I'm going to make you feel good."
*
"Y/n are you sure you should go home?" Akaashi asks, catching me at the door.
"Mhm. Donwanna here," I slur out, leaning against the door frame.
"You've had too many drinks, damn it give me your keys." Akaashi holds his hand out, I obediently hand him my keys, not knowing the reason. Why was he being so uptight?
He wishes me a farewell and I stagger to my car, but alas its locked.Thats why he wanted my keys.
I huff and start walking down the street, to my apartment, it wasn't too far, maybe a twenty minute walk.
I walk past a restaurant and see a couple laughing at a table, my heart breaks.
*
"Suna are we still good for dinner?" I ask into my phone, ledged between my shoulder and ear.
"This is your second time calling. I'm already on my way." He teases.
"Well sorr-y for being anxious." I laugh, finally choosing an outfit.
"I am too. I just kind of blurted your name out." He admits.
"I already told you its fine. It'll be nice to meet your childhood friends." I put the phone on speaker and toss it onto my bed, stripping from my housecoat and into the clothes a chose.
"Okay, they can be a little….overwhelming I guess." He says.
"As bad as Bokuto and Kuroo?" I joke, checking myself in the mirror.
"Worse, their twins remember? I'm outside."
"Okay coming down now." I say and hang up, slipping on my shoes.
I ditch the elevator and soar down the stairs. I should have taken the elevator by the time I reach Suna's car I'm out of breath.
He leans against the car, by the passenger door, black button up and white blazer looking sharp.
"Long time no talk," he jokes, pulling me in for a kiss. The sun sets in the background painting the sky like a canvas.
"Shall we?" Suna asks, opening the door, I laugh at his cheesiness.
*
I sit on a park bench, catching my breath, I don't want to date him, I really don't.
But I can't help wondering if I'm lying to myself. So I make the stupid decision of picking up my phone and calling his number.
"Hello?" His voice is groggy.
"I keep telling myself I don't care and that its your loss, but I can't help but wonder if I'm lying!" I shout into the phone.
"In the depths of the night when the world seems to come to a stand still, my mind wanders to what it would be like yo go on dates, to hug you, to wake up next to you. I want to be able yo cook for you and meet your family but I'm so scared." I ramble on, tears going down my streaming down my cheeks.
“I want to kiss you so bad and I want you to tell me everything will be okay. I want to comfort you during the hard times and I want to laugh with you in the fun times but you're going to leave. Because that’s what everybody does. Everybody leaves and I’m always here alone picking up the pieces of my broken heart.”
“Y/n calm down please. Go to your apartment and we’ll talk about this when I get there with ice cream,kay?” Suna’s calming voice rings through the phone. I hear his keys jingle in the background.
“I-” I unclog my nose by snorting, “I don’t know where I am.. I don’t remember when I left..” my tears dry, I can tell my eyes are red and puffy, it always happens.
“Okay okay” a car starts in the background, “text me your location I’ll come pick you up.”
“Okay I’ll see you soon..” I drop my phone onto the bench and then slump onto the metal seat.
I lean my head back looking up at the night sky. Its so big and I feel so small, like a peice of dirt compared to space. Its slightly intimidating.
I close my eyes. It wasn't too cold of a night but I still feel the wind grace across my cheeks.
"Y/n!" I snap my eyes open, looking around and seeing Suna coming from the right. His usual calm expression is replaced by a look of worry.
I stand and await his oncoming open arms, and a wave of warmth lapses over our bodies, almost as if it were binding us together.
"I'm glad I got here fast, thank god nothing happened to you." He whispers against my cold ear. One hand held the back of my head and the other around my back.
"Where is your car?!" He asks pulling away, slipping a hand into mine.
"Gave keys to Akaashi I think." I mumble, loud enough for him to hear.
"Okay good. Lets get you back to my place and then we can talk,okay?" He asks, staring into my eyes. I break contact with a nod and he leads me to his car.
*
We were at a club, more specifically Bokuto and I. It was a new club that just opened and Bokuto's boyfriend was working bar.
Our IDs get scanned and we are ushered into the club. The music booms and you can practically smell sweat and alcohol. Bokuto leads me through the crowd and to a back door where two bouncers are standing.
They give us a look, eyeing us up and down. Bokuto pulls out his phone and shows them the two QR codes. After the bouncers scan them, we are let in the backroom.
The back room was much calmer than the one before. The music was heavily muffled, and it was a bit lighter.
We head over to the open bar, and see a familiar raven haired man.
"Agkaashi!" Bokuto greets, sitting on a stool.
"Bokuto-san, I see you brought Y/n along." He smiles at me with a nod.
"Yep! She had a test today and needs to loosen up!"
"Way to make me seem like a loser." I joke, Akaashi give me a simple beer to start out with.
As the two love birds talk, its almost as if I'm being ignored. I love the two, I really do and its not their fault my insecurities are rising.
My eyes travel across the room and in the corner I see a man at a table alone. We meet eyes for a minute, and with his free hand that was resting on his leg, he signals me over with two fingers.
Heat rises to my cheeks and I get another beer before heading to the table.
"You look even better up close." The brunette compliments, I take a seat beside him.
"As much as I appreciate the compliments, they won't work on me." I admit, taking a sip. His hand rubs on my leg.
"Oh? And what if I'm here for something else?" He asks, resting his hand in his palm.
"Than tell me your alternative."
"Only if you tell me why your here, you don't look like the kinda girl to hang around these clubs." He answers, taking my beer from the table and taking a sip.
"My friend wanted me to let loose for once. Now answer." I say outright.
"Looking for a sex buddy. Friends with benefits type thing." He says with a smile, maybe I can let loose tonight.
*
I step out of the bathroom, a pair of Pajamas hing loosely on my body. Suna is sitting on the couch, waiting.
"Hey." I say, barely above a whisper.
"Can you explain please. My mind has been everywhere." He says, not letting it drag out longer.
"I don't like you Suna-" his face breaks," but I think I have the ability to love you."
"I'd rather fall for someone who wants me rather than being stuck in the past. I believe I can find happiness in you, and I want to make it reality."
"I see," He says after a moment," I, too, would rather you fall for me than a douche. And overtime I pray you will trust me to know about your first love."
"One day Suna, also no sex until were in an actual relationship" I say with a smile, leaning on his shoulder.
"If it means being with you, my love, I don't mind."