Chapter Text
Chapter 1
"(Y/N)." A distant voice called. It was deep and gravely. It wasn't familiar, either. There was a flash of dark green, and a fuzzy image of stony, gray eyes with a look of fear on them. The image was gone as soon as it appeared.
"(Y/N)!" There it was again. It sounded more strained, like something was wrong. Who could this voice belong to? The voice kept calling to you, getting more desperate, but also growing more distant. Soon, it was replaced by a familiar one.
"(Y/N)!" Your best friend, Mylius screamed into your ear. You shot up a bit too fast, causing your head to feel dizzy for a second. "Oh, good. You're awake now." He said, standing up from his crouched position.
Mylius has been your friend since as long as you could remember. He's practically your brother at this point. He outstretched his arm so that you could grab hold and stand up.
The year 845 has not been kind to the two of you. Both of Mylius's parents perished in an unforeseen famine, and you've been without yours for several years. Your mom is still alive, but extremely ill, so much so that she can't take care of you. You were sure she would die soon. Mylius and you have grown to the ripe age of 17, basically raising yourselves. There wasn't much left for you in Shinganshina now. The two of you decided years ago that you would join the scout regiment together, and if this year has taught you anything, it's that now is the perfect time. Neither of you have ever seen a titan, but you've always been fascinated in where they came from and what makes them tick, so joining the military seemed like the natural course for your life. Mylius, however, knows that you can be rash, and he doesn't want you to go off on your own. Plus, if you leave him behind, he'll have no one left.
"Mylius," You said, sounding more serious than you normally would after waking up from a nap.
"What?" He said, looking at you quizzically.
"I think it's time for us to join the scouts.” You heard him take a sharp breath.
"...Yeah." He said, finally. "Hey, speaking of that, they should be back from their expedition in a few minutes. I know how much you like to go see them return. Plus, maybe we can familiarize ourselves with some of them before we start training."
"Ok, let's go then. I want to get a good spot." You said, getting up quickly. Your head pounded with headache, and Mylius gingerly rested his hands on your shoulders.
"Hey, stop moving so fast. You worked hard today. Don't overexert yourself.” That's right. The two of you had been training today. That's all there really is to do these days besides work your crappy jobs at the market. You downed a cup of water Mylius gave to you and the two of you headed out the door and to the gate of Wall Maria, eager to greet the victors you so looked up to.
What you saw instead was the grave faces of soldiers who'd witnessed something you couldn't even imagine. Almost all of their eyes were downcast, if they even kept both eyes. The stink of rotting flesh followed the group, which you noticed was only a fraction of the soldiers who had left the walls just a couple of days earlier. You felt the need to vomit as you noticed multiple people with missing limbs, with blood-soaked gauze covering the phantom appendages. You noticed a woman stopping at the front of the group, crying for her son who had gone on the expedition. You watched as they handed her an arm wrapped in bloody white fabric, before she collapsed on the ground in anguish.
Is this the reality of what's behind the walls? You thought. You dared to turn your face towards Mylius, who looked just as distraught as the rest of the crowd.
This is more of the reason why you need to join the cause. You can't just stand by and let this keep happening to everyone. Someday, the titans will attack, and what will you do then? You need to be prepared for the reality of what's to come, even if it never comes during your lifetime.
You noticed a very small man on a horse, with his green scout hood covering most of his head. You could make out his black hair that came in bangs framing his face. His eyes were completely different from all of the other returnees.
He looked relatively unbothered, as if this was just an inconvenience to him. You guessed that this isn't the first time he's experienced this much loss, and over time it wouldn't phase him anymore. It's sad, really. You noticed a large, blonde man lean towards him to say something. That must be Erwin Smith, the commander of the scouts. Before you and Mylius optimistically strode over here, you would have liked to meet him and declare your allegiance. But now seemed like the wrong time. The boisterous introduction would have to wait.
Instead you and your best friend stood in silence, watching the soldiers go down the street until you couldn't see them anymore. The scent of death still lingered in the air. You turned to Mylius, who had one of his hands covering his face. He looked like he was holding in tears.
"Mylius." You said, trying to sound calm. It didn't really work, as your voice cracked in the middle of saying his name. Mylius dropped to his knees without a word, and you crouched next to him.
"I-I can't.. (Y/N), I don't know if we can do this..." He said. "I know we decided we would but that was before-"
"I know." You said, trying to not let the tears escape from your face. "I am also deeply.. disturbed by what we saw here. But it ignited a fire in me. The world needs us now more than ever, Mylius. We have to do this. And I can't do it without you." You said.
"It's not like I have much of a choice, anyway." Mylius said, forcing a chuckle. "You drag me everywhere, (Y/N)." You punched your friend lightly on the shoulder. Eventually the two of you rose from the ground and headed back to your house on the other side of the city with new resolve. Each step you took felt like a new chapter of your life. You were filled with determination as you turned the corner of your street.
BANG!
The two of you lost your balance, toppling to the ground. Behind you, coming from the outside of Wall Maria, there was the loudest noise you'd ever heard. Billows of steam rushed up from the other side of the wall. You'd never seen anything like this before. Several items were strewn across the street. Who could have thought that one tremor could do this much? You looked backward toward the Wall and saw it.
A giant red hand.
But that's not all. Behind the hand, something started to move. As it came into view you could see it more clearly. It was a titan. No doubt about it. There was a problem, though. No titan had ever come close to being as tall as the wall, and especially not taller.
You were frozen in place. It was not long before you heard another big crash. This indicated that the gate had just been broken to pieces. Large pieces of rock flung from the crash and destroyed buildings and people. It was when you saw the first titan rear its head from the new hold that you finally gained the strength to move. It was so far away that none of the rocks had come close to you, but you could feel the wind from the impact.
You scrambled to your feet, desperately clinging to Mylius's arms as you got inside your house, where your mother sat in her usual rocking chair.
"Honey, what was that? Was someone knocking on the door?" Tears welled up in your eyes. You knew you had to leave, and you knew she wouldn't be able to come with you. She's too weak to move on her own, and you and Mylius simply weren't strong enough to get her out. Not to mention it would be a slim chance even the two of you made it out of Shinganshina alive. You made an executive decision to leave her here. Maybe by some miracle a soldier would be able to save her, but you knew you couldn't do it and have all three of you survive this.
"Yes, mom. It was just the mail." You said, holding back tears.
"Oh, okay. Goodnight, honey." She said, drifting off to sleep before you could respond.
It was a good think Mylius could basically read your mind, because you didn't want to use words. The two of you gathered anything you could, before realizing it was likely you wouldn't be able to bring anything with you, anyway. Your eyes darted to the drawing you had made of yourself as a scout when you were a kid. Something inspired you to rip it off the wall and shove it in your pocket, before grabbing Mylius by the arm and booking it for the evacuation gate. The rest of the next few hours was a blur. You were pushed along with the mass of people onto a ship, where people were so packed that you feared sinking. A few minutes after your ship headed down the river, there was another loud crash and rocks flying everywhere. It was another attack.
You and Mylius didn't exchange any words for hours, only holding onto each other with interlocked arms. You thought your life was changed after walking away from the returning scouts. It turned out you had no idea what was in store for your life.
~
"Here, (Y/N), It's all I could find." Mylius said, handing you a piece of bread in the crowded marketplace. All of the refugees from Wall Maria had fled to Wall Rose, after the Armored and Colossal Titans destroyed the wall. You were feeling weak since you hadn't eaten in days, but your determination was keeping you alive. That, and Mylius's coolheadedness.
You made the bread last, eating half of it and putting the rest in your pocket. Your hand brushed up against a piece of paper; your fingers unfolded the crumpled drawing of your child self's imagination. But it doesn't have to be just an imagination. You looked up, hoping to find some inspiration within yourself to move forward. In the distance you saw the same small man that you noticed coming in with the scouts on that day, standing on a roof. He was looking at you.
I need to talk to him so that I can register for the scouts! You thought. You nudged Mylius, who was still working on half of his loaf of bread.
"That man is in the survey corps. Maybe if we talk to him, we can get a leg up!"
"I hate to break it to you, (Y/N), but it's not like people are fighting to be part of the death legion." Mylius said nonchalantly. "Military police are the only sought-after position for a cadet. I'm sure as long as we can barely operate ODM gear, they'd send us out with the scouts no problem."
"Still..." You said, glancing up again to where the man stood. But he was gone. What you hadn't noticed was that he came down and stood not too far away from you and your friend, watching.
"Look, they're taking volunteers right over there for training. Maybe if we do that, we can bypass the physical labor they're making the refugees do." Mylius said, pointing to a corner where a few soldiers stood yelling something you couldn't hear.
"That sounds like a plan, old buddy." You said, trying to lighten the mood. Your friend hadn't cracked the slightest smile since that day. He sighed and pushed off the wall he was leaning on, and the two of you headed over and signed up for military training. The soldiers told you that it starts in a few days, and your anticipation boiled inside you. All that was left was to train hard, and then you'd be able to fight real titans. You could even imagine getting back to your home, if it's not destroyed...
Your thoughts flashed back to your mother.
"Oh, okay. Goodnight, honey." was the last thing you ever heard her say. There's no way she got out of Shinganshina alive. Your heartstrings pulled at you, but you had to make a hard call. At least Mylius wasn't holding it over your head.
Suddenly you saw a quick flash of dark green fabric turn a corner down an alleyway. It looked like the man from the scout legion! Mylius was busy talking to a few other new recruits, so you slipped away to follow the man without a word.
Finally you caught up to him, and huffing, you said “Wait!" The man stopped, seemed to hesitate, and then turned around. His facial expression was unreadable. Was that annoyance, perhaps?
While you gathered yourself, you took in his appearance, which you finally got to see up close. His black hair just barely covered parts of his eyes, and he had an undercut style. His thin, gray eyes glared at you, and his folded arms and body language told you he wished you didn't catch up to him. There was something familiar about his eyes that you couldn't place. The man was surprisingly short for how intimidating he looked. You guessed most people were too scared of him to say anything about his height.
Despite his apparent aversion towards you, he was quite attractive. You realized you had been quiet for far too long.
"What...?" He said in a bored tone.
"You're from the scouts, right?" You said, trying to hide the excitement in your voice.
He avoided looking in your eyes. "That's right."
Hm. Usually someone would follow that up with a question. This guy isn't very conversational.
"Well," you said, "I'm (Y/L/N)."
He just glared at you.
"I'm a future scout!" You said saluting with confidence, trying to pull some reaction out of this man.
"Tch." He said, rolling his eyes. That's it.
"Excuse me?" You dropped the salute. "That's what you say? Tch?! Usually when someone tells you their name it's polite to introduce yourself as well. It's a good thing I already have my heart set on the scouts, because any other recruit would be completely turned off by your demeanor!"
He raised an eyebrow, still glaring.
"And another thing, why don't you talk to me? I'm trying to create some dialogue here, pouring out my intentions as a future soldier, and you just look at me like I'm an idiot. What's all that about? Honestly!" You said, using excessive hand gestures to convey your frustration.
He suddenly looked at you with what you could only guess was intrigue. He extended an arm to you, holding out his hand.
"Levi." He said.
In what felt like slow motion, you shook his hand. It was almost like you could feel his strength just from one touch. This man was powerful in more ways than one.
"I'm looking at you like you're an idiot because you are one. A pretty young woman like you doesn't belong in the scout legion."
Did he just call me pretty? Wait, he also called me an idiot. I guess that evens things out. You thought. He let go of your hand and started turning back around.
"Hey!" You said, a mixture of anger and excitement in your tone. "I'm not done with you. You'll see me again. Just you wait." You continued rattling off similar phrases as he sighed and continued on his way. Once you could no longer see his green cloak, you looked at the hand he just shook.
Levi.
You felt your cheeks heat up, but you couldn't place why. You gently slapped your face with your hands to knock yourself out of your funk.
"(Y/N)! There you are." Mylius said, out of breath. "What are you doing?"
"I, uh," You stammered a bit. Why am I so nervous? "I chased after that man in the scout uniform. To be honest, he was kind of rude." There's no point in hiding anything from your best friend.
"Did you catch his name?"
"Levi."
"Just Levi? No last name?” What a jerk. The guy didn't even value you enough to tell you his last name?
"Wait. I've heard the name Levi before. They say he's the strongest and scariest one in the whole legion! Levi... Ackerman, I think. Some of the new recruits were talking about him. He's a captain, you know." Mylius said.
That guy... was a captain? That explains why he seems to act like he's better than everyone else. Why was he hanging around refugees, though? You'd never get these answers standing in an alleyway. The only way would be to join the scout legion and ask the man himself. For some reason you had the urge to be so successful that you could rub it in Levi's face someday. He told you that you don't belong in the scout legion. Ha!
I'll show him. Just you wait, Levi.
~
One week has passed since Mylius and you started training for the military. So much has happened in so little time, that sometimes you need to stop to breathe and take it all in.
About two weeks ago, the titans attacked and ransacked Shinganshina, forcing you to leave. you starved for a few days before joining the military, and you successfully survived your first week as a cadet. That's more than you can say for some.
Teens left in droves the first few days of training. The pressure was too much for them, so much so that they'd rather do physical labor instead. The one constant in your life was Mylius. Though, while you're so focused on your self-imposed mission to prove the captain of the scout legion wrong, he's trying to make some new friends, including a beautiful girl named Altiena. He's better at that stuff, anyway, so you just tag along.
Your mind kept dwindling on Levi. The man was so mysterious that you couldn't help but let him occupy your thoughts. It was to a point where it started getting annoying, though. You could swear you started seeing him around the training grounds. You thought the whole time you must be hallucinating, since no one else seemed to acknowledge his presence. You saw him trudging towards you and your friends. Of course, this just happened to be the time you said something.
"Ugh." You scoffed loudly and looked at Mylius as you and some others sat at an outdoor dinner table after a satisfying meal. "I can't get my mind off that jerk, Levi. I'm so mad about it that my brain keeps conjuring images of him all around as if he's just taunting me in my head."
Mylius spun his head around, stopping to widen his eyes. He spoke softly. "(Y/N). You're not imagining things."
You felt the blood drain from your face.
"(L/N)." An authoritative voice said behind you as you tried to not show your face to him.
You shakily raised your arms to salute. "Sir." You said, quietly.
"Captain! My apologies! My friend here seems to be coming down with a fever!" Mylius said, almost yelling in the captain's face. "I must take her to the infirmary, sir! Please excuse us!"
Bless you, Mylius. You are my lifesaver. Mylius grabbed your forearm and started to get up, but Levi waved him down. Sounding as unenthused as possible, he spoke. "It just so happens that I'm headed there right now. Let me."
As quick as the blood drained from your face, it came rushing back in.
"Look at her, she's burning up." The Captain said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
There's no way he doesn't know we're bluffing. You thought.
For the second time since you met him, Levi outstretched his hand towards you. It was impossible to resist at this point; Mylius's brave attempt had not worked.
You reluctantly put your hand in his, but once you touched it almost felt like there were sparks flying. You noticed the slightest change in his expression for half a second, as well.
Did he feel it too?
He pulled on your arm gently as you got up from the table, following closely behind him as he walked. His hand grasped yours for an unusually long amount of time, before he let go. Your hand felt cold at the absence of his warm skin.
You could no longer see the table of your friends anymore. All in front of you was forest. "Um, sir? I don't think this is the way to the infirmary..." You said to the back of his head.
He spun around violently. "Didn't I tell you my name was Levi?" He said, crossing his arms. He stood unnaturally close to you.
You took a step back. "Yeah, but that was before I knew you were a captain. So, I can't call you that." You averted your eyes from his piercing gaze.
He took a step forward, making your bodies even closer than they were before.
"I told you to call me Levi. So that's what you'll call me." He said with a commanding tone.
"Y-yes sir- I mean... Levi."
"That's better." His stance relaxed. He brought his hand up to run it through his hair. It's criminal how handsome he looked doing that. You hated that you even had that thought.
"Of course," he sighed, "I can't have you calling me that in front of the other recruits. People might get suspicious."
"Suspicious of what?" You said.
"What?" He said with a dead tone.
"Wha- wait, suspicious of what?" You started getting annoyed.
"I don't know what you're talking about.” This man is infuriating.
"Call me Captain in front of the others. But in private-" He started, but you interrupted him.
"Ok, Levi, what did you want me over here for?"
"It seems your fever has gone away." He said, nonchalantly. Again, the blood rushed into your cheeks.
"Oh, and it's back." You saw a ghost of a smirk grace his lips.
"Stop messing with me!" You said, punching his shoulder.
He stepped back, looked at his shoulder, and then glared at you. "I overheard you talking to your little friends." He said. "Care to explain something to me?"
"I-I don't know what you're t-talking about." You said, trying to use the same evasion tactic as he did. It clearly didn't work.
"What about me is taunting you?" He said in a lower tone of voice. You felt a shiver up your spine.
"P-probably the face that you're so rude...." You said.
"Now, what did I do that's so rude?" He said, his voice smooth.
"Are you really gonna make me spell it out for you?" You said, taking a step back from him. He folded his arms in expectation.
"Well, first, you barely spoke a word to me." You said.
"I'm talking now, aren't I?" He said, sounding smug.
"Ok, I guess. Also, you called me an idiot."
"Wouldn't it be more rude to lie and say you weren't one?"
You widened your eyes at him in surprise. "Okay, wow, you're really going there." You said. "No, it wouldn't. I don't know if you know this, but generally people don't like to be called idiots." You said, lifting a finger in his face.
He used the back of his hand to push yours away. "Is that all?"
"No," you said, "You also never told me your full name. I told you my first and last name and all you said was 'Levi.'" You said, dropping your tone to mimic his lower voice.
"It's Ackerman." He said, unamused.
"Duh! Of course I know that now." You thought maybe he could have had some reason for not telling you, after all. Maybe he's self-conscious or something. "It's just usually the polite thing to do."
He let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry." He muttered, barely audible.
"What was that?" You said, raising a hand to your ear. Of course you heard him, but you wanted to mess with him too.
He shot you a look. "I. Am. Sorry. Happy?"
"Oh, wow!" You exclaimed, over-enthusiastically raising your hands to your cheeks. "The Levi Ackerman apologized to me! I'm going to have to tell everyone I know!"
Suddenly his hand clamped over your mouth. "Shut up." He said, the faintest of red dusting his pale cheeks.
Ah, so we can embarrass the captain. Duly noted.
You licked his hand and he propelled off of you in horror. "Filthy pig!" He yelled, reeling away from you. He gripped his forearm as if you had just cut off his hand. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him. Humanity's strongest soldier, losing it over some saliva. The red on his cheeks grew ever-so-slightly.
"Stop." He said. You didn't stop laughing.
Suddenly you felt a broad blow to your head, landing you on the ground. You rubbed the top of your head and looked up, where the captain held his fist above you. "Hey!!" You said. "What was that for?"
"I told you to stop." He said.
You folded your arms. "I only listen to people with manners."
"You're one to talk." He said. "Your mouth bacteria has sullied my hand."
"Aw, do you need to go to the infirmary?" You said, still chuckling.
"No." He then walked closer to you. You looked up at him and couldn't quite place what his face read… Then he wiped his palm on your shoulder.
"Gee, thanks." You said.
"It was yours to begin with."
You stood up from the ground, patting off grass that had stuck to your behind. You noticed the sun starting to set. You wished the air wasn't so thick with tension, or you'd actually be able to enjoy the beautiful colors of the sky. Levi looked over to the camp, the sun making his skin look golden in its light.
"So, why are you at the training grounds? Don't you have some kind of important scout work to do?" You asked him, genuinely curious.
"I come here to check out the cadets early, to see who would make the best soldiers."
"And has anyone piqued your interest?"
"There might be someone..." He said with an alluring tone. "But that's for me to know."
"Come on.... Levi."
You could tell your use of his first name did something to him. Maybe he's sick of everyone calling him captain. Or just maybe, there's something special about you. But you'd never entertain the thought. That's absurd.
"Nope." Of course it didn't work. He was stubborn as ever.
This was probably the longest conversation you've had with anyone for the past two weeks. Mylius and you know each other so well that it only takes a few words to have an effective conversation, not like you even wanted to talk about everything that happened anyway. But talking to someone new for this long felt exhilarating. There was something different about this than trying to make friends with fellow cadets.
"Well, I'm sure you have important work to do, so I won't keep hindering you, then." You turned on your heel and started off towards the barracks. You didn't get two steps away before the man placed his hand on your shoulder (the one without your saliva on it).
"Wait, I'll walk you." He said.
Well, this is awkward. You thought. You walked beside the captain in complete silence, noticing strange looks from other cadets as you approached the barracks in a few excruciatingly long minutes. You reached the door to the building you were staying in, and came to a stop in front of it.
"Well, this is me." You said. "Thanks, I guess." You looked at him. He almost looked like he was expecting something from you, but his expression shifted soon to one of strict professionalism.
"Get rest." He said. "You'll need it for training tomorrow. Word has it it'll be the worst yet.” Is he being nice to me?
"Thanks for the heads up." You said. Your eyes lingered on each other for a little too long before you awkwardly took a step back towards the cabin. He stood, watching you enter, making sure you got inside. You looked through the window. The man shifted his gaze to his hands, and it looked like he was saying something. Probably about how gross it was that you licked him. Then, he walked away. Some cadets were giving him funny looks and you smirked as he scowled at them, causing them to scramble away.
He may be small, but he's still scary.
Your thoughts dwelled on the conversation you had with Levi. So many emotions went through you, that you couldn't identify a single one of them. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
It swung open to Mylius, who upon locking his eyes with yours, looked relieved. "Oh, good! I went to the infirmary, but you weren't there." He said. "Where did you..."
"Tell you later." You said, nodding over to the other girls in the cabin, who were not necessarily paying attention to you, but who had also undoubtedly noticed that The Levi Ackerman just walked you home. No need to start rumors. Though it was probably too late for that anyways.
"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow, (Y/N). Sorry my plan didn't work." He smiled. Seeing your best friend smile warmed your heart.
"No biggie, old buddy. Goodnight." You said.
"Night." He said, closing the door.
You looked over at the group of girls, noticing that Altiena's face was twinged with a blush.
"Woah, Altiena, do you-"
"Ahh!! La la la la la! I can't hear you!" She said cutely, covering her ears with her hands. Her short blonde hair bounced as she shook her head.
"Does someone have a crush??" Another girl said. Ella, you're pretty sure. She scooted closer to Altiena on the floor as she tied her brown hair into a ponytail.
"Isn't it obvious?" The black-haired girl, Silva, said. "We've got a regular budding romance on our hands."
You joined in on the playful teasing, relieved that the conversation revolved around your friends and not the captain. He was still on your mind just as much as before; the difference is now you're even more confused.
~