Work Text:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAPeQROTXi0&list=PLz8PO65WwDA7ejvyelT_rnQ9WnSryp-0M&index=19
28th of April 2019
“Get your phones out. You’re gonna wanna film this!”
Catherine Parr had been running on caffeine and adrenaline all night. The audience was smashing, the lights were blaring, the energy was overwhelming, and the vibes were immaculate. Maybe that’s what caused her arm to swing backwards, prompting her mic to drop and land on her toe.
Thankfully the squeal was inaudible to anyone in the audience on the stage but Catherine would describe it as the beginning of the end. Looking back, Cathy really tried to hold in the hurricane of laughter, but when she made eye contact with Katherine, whose face was the definition of comedy, it was all too much.
Both queens doubled over, Kat latching onto Cathy’s shoulder for support as she delivered her line, “And most importantly, get ready to dance.”
“HEY!”
Unfortunately, the audience caught on and just like the flu, laughter is catching. Various giggles and eye-smirks finally made their way to Anne Boleyn, who was totally out of the loop at the end of the line, but by the glint in her eyes, the Boleyn girl knew it had something to do with Cathy.
From then on, Anne made it her mission to find out exactly what was happening. Granted, she was a little reluctant because all 6 of them promised that they shouldn’t involve personal drama in the show, but this wasn’t personal drama. Anne just hated being out of the loop for fear of being forgotten.
Ever wonder why Boleyn is the loudest?
“Make some noise for Maggie.” Usually, Anne didn’t let eternal monologues distract her, but that, combined with Cathy’s giggles, caused her to stumble and upgrade the newfound energy.
“Big up Bessie!”
Crouching by Cathy’s feet, Anne hesitated. This transferred to her dancing, and something usually fluid and free became static.
“Show some love… For Joan!”
“It’s senorita, Maria!”
Anna noticed Anne’s edge during the drumbeat and slapped her bicep as she walked past, un-stealthily pointing to her mic, Cathy and then the floor.
Anne’s face lit up like Pudding Lane in 1666 as they prepared for the ‘No Way’ section of the megasix.
“You must think that I’m crazy. You wanna replace me, baby, there’s?”
“Did you drop your mic?” Anne mouthed to the writer with the biggest grin on her face.
Cathy grinned but shook her head, “N-N-N-N-N-No way.”
Anne’s body shook with laughter as she pointed accusingly at her girlfriend, “You did!”
Cathy fake-gasped.
“You won’t be laughing tonight.”
“N-N-N-N-N-N-Not Sorry.”
The lights switched to green, and it took Anne a while to decipher what she was mouthed.
“Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said. I’m just tryin’a have some fun.”
It clicked, and Anne almost choked on her lines... again.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t lose ur head. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
“You can- build me up.” Jane looked at Anne.
“LOL.” Anne looked at Jane.
“You can- tear me down.” Jane looked at Cathy.
“Say, oh well.” Anne looked guilty.
“You can try, but I’m unbreakable.” Jane rolled her eyes. Like Anna said, having your best friends date was a small price to pay for salvation.
In an interview, Katherine said living with the queens was like living in the Big Brother house; everyone knows everything about each other. This quote was something Anna would later use in a farewell speech.
“All you wanna do-”
“Your best. But I’ll stand the test.”
“You’ll find that I‘ve got a heart of-”
This was Anne’s favourite part of the megasix with Cathy. It was one of the only times they could share and dance together like it was part of the show. Anne didn’t want to be basic, but this moment one of the main factors which made her fall in love with the survivor. They shared precious little moments together that held their own energy and promise. Even when the whole world was watching an interview with Cathy, it was just the world, and Anne couldn’t focus on anything else.
“Sto- o- o- o- o- o- o- o- o- ne.”
Cathy resumed her regular position, giggling like a schoolgirl as the pair travelled across the stage in unison with the Boleyn girl hyping her up. Anne swore Cathy could be the next Shakira because the writer’s hips definitely don’t lie.
“All alone, on a throne. In a palace that I happen to own.”
They exchanged a look.
Now, this is what Anne meant when she described the world stopping during shared moments. The audience stopped cheering and went back to their houses, Anna’s mic was muted, and the queen’s around them danced in slow motion.
“The only thing you wanna do.”
The lights changed to a spectacular pink shade and bounced off Catherine’s face, making her glow; Anne was smitten. Cathy noticeably slid her arm around Anne’s torso, pulling her in close as they swayed in time with the drums behind them.
“I’m the queen of the castle. Get down, you dirty rascal. OH OH-”
They split, Cathy making awkward gang signs to the beat and Anne jumping into a good old-fashioned dab.
“All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby,”
The queens formed a cluster as Howard delivered her solo. Anna elbowed her chaotic counterpart, making kissy faces and wiggling her eyebrows. She then directed her eyebrows to an already flustered Cathy who was just trying to get by with improvised Fortnite dances.
“Sing along to your favourite queen’s song!”
If you don’t cheer for Howard, then you’re a monster. #facts.
“Love me, love me, l- l- l- l- l- l- love.”
Anne previously said that the twerking was her favourite part of the show. She lied. Cathy’s megasix solo held so much heart, soul and beauty that, for Boleyn, it carried the whole show.
“No- no. I don’t need your love. No- no.
The emotion portrayed was more generous than what the survivor sang in ‘I don’t need your love’, and when Cathy was in her element, consumed by the music, Anne felt free. Like their stories had finally been reclaimed.
“It’s time to rise above. No- no- We don’t need your lo-ve!”
“‘Cos we’re so much more than:”
“Divorced.”
Aragon led the group, Anne joining behind as Cathy passed to the back. They had one final moment on stage where they either high-fived or brushed fingers as they walked past. Even just a little graze gave them the energy to complete the show. Catherine liked to describe it as running a long-distance race. You approach the finish, and everyone is cheering your name, but there is one person in the crowd who you care about more than the rest. They are what get you to the finish line.
“Divorced. Beheaded. Died. Divorced. Beheaded. Survived.”
“We’re… SIX!”
The megasix ended, energy coursing through their veins and confetti falling from the sky; the audience gifted them a standing ovation. With only a second to bow, breathe and bask in applause, the beat kicked back in, and Cathy found herself grabbing a phone.
Anne practically ran over to Anna, who grabbed her hands,
“Did you hear what Cathy said at the start? Babe’s ima put earplugs in tonight.”
The 4th queen laughed obnoxiously, and Anne steadied her friend’s shoulders.
“I swear nothing is happening! Don’t joke like you did last time, you know Jane takes it seriously.” Boleyn hastily replied as Cathy paraded over with a phone.
Ignoring the camera, Anna watched Cathy kiss the Boleyn girl’s cheek as they waved to the camera. Despite her song, Anna wasn’t one for cameras or fame. She knew how personal people could get and how being exposed to rumours, scandals, and paparazzi could affect someone's mental health. She was quite happy to sit back with a martini as Boleyn promoted the show, and Howard concocted a new hair dye.
Eventually, the gang exited stage left, Boleyn falling onto Cathy, who reluctantly supported her with laughter.
“You were amazing.” Anne brushed the stray hairs from her face.
“Not as good as you.”