Chapter Text
"Cheers."
Way toasted with his group of friends, two boys and a girl. He had met them during his studies in Los Angeles and since they had sympathized, they met regularly after school to stop at this bar, located at a distance of two bus stations from the university, as Thai people in exchange program.
Way took a sip of his beer as his ears paid little attention to the jokes of one of the young men in front of him, who was recounting one of the numerous misadventures that had occurred to him since his arrival in America. The girl who was accompanying him tapped on his shoulder and started to laugh, which made Way smile by reflex. The latter, who was following the conversation from quite a distance, glanced at his cell phone, which indicated that it was already eleven thirty.
Like every time he unlocked the device, his gaze stopped on the picture he had been using for more than a year as a wallpaper. He turned away, thinking that it would be time to change this photo, which was making him feel a lot worse than better. But when he happened to finally find the courage to hit the 'delete' button, he changed his mind at the last moment. He could never do that.
If he got rid of this photo, he felt like he was saying goodbye to Kim a second time at the same occasion.It was stupid. But it was the way he was feeling. For months since the young man had been declared dead.
And he was unable to accept it.
One said that time helped in this kind of situation. In Way's case, the more time passed, the more miserable he felt. Because the memories he had with Kim were growing more and more distant in his mind and the few remaining images only reminded him painfully that he would never be able to see him again.
When Pan had announced to him that she had decided to go back to her body, and therefore to stop letting Kim's body live, a few months ago, before leaving for Los Angeles, Way thought that there was no other solution possible. He wouldn't have held back the soul of someone who wasn't the one he loved. And it was probably better this way.
But today, Kim's smile, as well as his voice, everything that made him special in his heart was gone forever. And that bitter awareness was stabbing him every time those images of the past came back to his memory. Alcohol was his support at those times, so he would not push it away.Especially since that evening was one during those he had the impression that he would never be able to bounce back.
He looked around while raising his glass, which was almost empty, to his mouth. The bar was full with people at this hour, so there was plenty of things to see. People dancing, chatting, getting closer. Those were happy people, for the most part. Way looked down. His friends had invited him to join them on the dance floor in parallel, but he had politely declined with a wave of his hand. When they invited him out, he willingly accompanied his mates every time. But only if he could drink at will.
They did not ask him questions about his distant behavior. They probably knew something was wrong, but since Way never mentioned it, they did not want to make him feel uncomfortable by being too curious.
Way rested his tired eyes on the empty beer bottles piled up on the table in front of him. He put his hand to his forehead, having the impression that he was starting to feel dizzy. He was tired of putting himself in such a state. But at the same time, he did not know what else to do to get rid of that feeling of emptiness that was gnawing at him deep inside.He got up from his seat with difficulty and made a detour to avoid bumping into the table, something that happened more and more often these days. His way of walking was staggering and he was feeling bad. Nevertheless it was still less bad than the times when he cried all alone in a corner for hours.
He went to the counter to pay for his drinks. Fortunately, he had found a part-time job as a carrier after school, because he would have been too ashamed to ask his father for money, just to be able to afford paying for alcohol all the time. Her father was not aware of any of this. Nor the way how Kim's death had caused irreversible damage in his heart, which was now seriously impacting his physical health, often leading him to the brink of exhaustion.
He greeted his friends in a weak gesture while leaving the bar and they did not hold him back. They were used to it. Way stayed with them for a while, seated in silence, and then left on his own when he felt like it. It was routine. Although Way sometimes wished someone was there to support him, he had never found the courage to confide in anyone.
He walked in the night, erratically, not knowing very well which way he had to take to get back to his apartment. He walked to the nearest bus stop and dropped down on the small bench. He rested his head back against the cold glass wall and stared into space. Tears began to appear at the corner of his eyes, accentuating his seemingly endless distress.
He could not go on like this anymore.
He was in too much pain.
It had to stop. Now.
Suddenly he was pulled out of his reverie by a horn blast coming from the nearby street and turned his head in the direction concerned, when he heard a crashing noise. He saw people rushing forward and a few minutes later, heard sirens resonating in the same area. He looked down. It was a traffic accident. Exactly what had happened to Kim. A tear rolled down his cheek as he remembered what had marked the start of his descent into hell.
Soon after, the night bus he was waiting for arrived. He sat up to get on the vehicle and presented his pass to the driver, who barely looked at it. Way put his card in his pocket casually and chose a seat near a window at the back of the bus. At this hour, there were very few people inside and the atmosphere around was rather quiet. He rested his forehead against the cool glass and watched the landscape that started to disappear in front of his eyes. Until his gaze was drawn on something. Something that had lifted his heart so much that he lost his breath for a few moments.
No. It was impossible.
He opened his eyes widely and jumped up, instantly putting his hands against the glass, but the image was already far away. He huffed painfully and ran toward the driver with a panicked expression. He must have looked crazy in the eyes of the other passengers of the bus, but he did not care.
He surprised the driver by calling him to stop immediately. Even though the middle-aged man did not seem to take him seriously, probably due to the strong smell of alcohol coming from Way's clothes, the dark-haired young man would not give up. He was ready to repeat it as many times as needed. This vehicle had to stop, stop straight away. When he cried out that his life depended on it, the driver widened his eyes and, while he seemed quite lost, finally made the decision to pull over along a sidewalk, a maneuver that had only been possible thanks to the limited number of cars that were travelling at this late hour of the night.
As soon as the bus stopped, Way hurried to get off, nearly tripping when he passed the exit door, sending a "thank you" full of hope to the driver, who watched him run in the other direction, grimacing with incomprehension.
Way had never run so fast. He had always been quite athletic, but never had he managed to cover such a great distance in such a short time. Especially since lately, he was rather the type to laze around. However, in this precise case, he would have put all his strength into the battle, if it was the way for him to have confirmation that what he had seen was indeed real. He stopped at the place he had spotted during his short bus ride, while having his face all sweaty and being breathless.
"KIM!! "
He screamed in the night the name of the one he missed more than anything. But he never received any answer.
Way turned his head around, looking for any sign of this apparition. But it was a waste of time. There was no sign of Kim. Only silence could be heard around him.
Way kneeled down in the middle of the sidewalk, whereas his hands were still shaking.
No.
His eyes widened as he thought of Kim's face watching him leave from the bus stop.With his gentle gaze and weak smile.
No.
Way had not dreamed all this.
He was convinced of it.
Kim was there.
And he was going to find him.