Archive of Our Own

The seasons have changed.

The yellow leaves are falling slowly now and the only thing that reminds Jaemin of autumn is his meeting with Jeno Lee, one year ago at a party held at the Lee brothers' house. At first, he did not expect to get anything from the party, a few months later he found that he fell in love with Jeno Lee, the youngest of Lee brothers, who was kind and handsome. Jaemin didn't have time to regret his decision because Jeno proved that he was indeed a gentleman.

When they finally shared their feelings for each other, Jaemin realized that there were implications that could be brought from this incident. He will no longer be the Jaemin Na that people usually ignore. Jeno will no longer be the single and available Jeno Lee. Although Jaemin decided not to care about this because with Jeno in his arms, he felt there was nothing to worry anymore, but lately he felt the need to straighten out some things with himself because he didn't know whether he was ready to be in a committed relationship like Jeno hinted at.

So Jaemin chose to go home for the weekend, gently asking Jeno not to bother him because he would be spending time with his family.

The nice and kind-hearted Jeno nodded in understanding. He assured Jaemin that he would pick up Jaemin at the station on the day Jaemin returned and told Jaemin to have fun.

Jaemin kissed goodbye on the platform and smiled at Jeno's figure who was looking at him adoringly before the train drove off.

So this is where Jaemin finds himself spending his Saturday. Not a date with Jeno, cuddling with Donghyuck, or playing games with Mark. He was in his eldest sister's room, watching his sister pack clothes so they can donate it to the orphanage.

“Should you really do this when I'm having my break? Give me rest!" Nayoung complained. If it wasn't Jaemin who kept pursuing her to pack her clothes, she wouldn't have gotten out of bed on the weekends.

Nayoung works as a computer engineer at a tech company and everyone knows how tiring the job is, especially when Nayoung has to be one of the few women in the field and comes home at night almost every day to convince everyone that she is working at the same pace (and even more better) than men. So Jaemin allowed himself to feel a little guilty.

"Sorry, noona." He smiled apologetically. "I promise you can rest tomorrow."

"Yeah. Then who will drive you to the orphanage, kid?" said Nayoung.

“I can ask Dad. Or Mina."

Nayoung snorted in stifling laughter. “You don't want to drive with Mina. She's ruthless."

"I hear you, unnie!" there was a scream from Mina's room which is located in front of Nayoung's room. Before long, Mina appeared still wearing her pajamas. "I could drive him." Mina winked at Jaemin. Mina works as an editor at a publication and although she always complains about her little salary, everyone knows she likes her job. Although several times she had expressed her jealousy to his brother and sister who had left their house, Jaemin knew that Mina really loved their parents and had no intention of leaving home.

"Like hell I will let you." Nayoung closed the box that already full.

"I drive for Mum everyday!" Mina defended herself.

"She said she'll have a heart attack soon if you got more tickets!"

"She did say that." Jaemin replied, choosing to help Nayoung fold the clothes that filled half the floor of the room. "She said she rather have Dad with her."

"A betrayal!" exclaimed Mina in disbelief. "Dad can't see clearly anymore."

"Well, she trusts her life to him more than you," Nayoung smiled thinly.

Mina chuckled. “Fine. I won't drive you tomorrow, Jaeminnie. You can ask your older sister, okay? I will sleep all day tomorrow." Mina strolled out of the room, looking ready to take a shower.

"You'll come too, Mina-ya!"

Mina answered by going into the bathroom and closing the door. Nayoung and Jaemin laughed at that.

"So, Nana." After a few moments of silence in their respective activities, Nayoung opened her mouth. "Hyuck told me about this boy."

Jaemin's expression turned tense. He stared at his brother with a stiff neck and Nayoung kindly avoided his gaze by busying herself with other boxes.

“He said this boy is so nice towards you. He's kind and warm-hearted. Oh, and he's handsome too. Very handsome."

“You didn't hear the last thing from Hyuck,” Jaemin scowled. "You saw him."

"Only his picture," Nayoung corrected with a big smile.

Jaemin wanted to sink his head into the pile of his sister's clothes. He couldn't believe Donghyuck would tell Nayoung about Jeno. Instead of Mina, Jaemin felt that his eldest sister could see him more clearly so that he had nowhere else to hide. Jaemin probably wouldn't mind if he could control himself in front of Nayoung. But he couldn't.

“What is it, Nana? Its unlikely for you to go home in the middle of semester when Jeno is worried about you.”

Jaemin lifted his head and looked at his sister cluelessly. “He's… worried?”

Nayoung nodded. This time don't pretend to be busy. She put away the cardboard in front of her before sitting in front of Jaemin. "Hyuck said he asked Hyuck everyday if he did something wrong."

"He did?"

Nayoung smiled reassuringly. "Would you like to tell me about it?" she looked at Jaemin gently.

"I just..." As usual, Jaemin easily opened up in front of his sister. "I don't know. Its just… complicated? But not really. I mean... We likes each other. We clearly said that a lot of time. We… we kissed and I can't differentiate our relationship with Hyuck and Mark. You know Mark, right? He's Jeno's brother. They're twin, apparently. Anyway, I'm too afraid to take another step because I never date anyone and he's painfully breathtaking. He's just so perfect, noona."

Nayoung squeezed Jaemin's arm slowly. “Are you sure? Because for me, you sounds so insecure right now, Nana."

“That's too. That's so perfect and I'm… me. Nayoung, I'm just me. Your little, boring Na Jaemin..."

"I won't let you say anything stupid about my family. I remind you, our family is amazing. Each one of us."

Jaemin sighed. "You know what I meant," he said later. He then leaned back on Nayoung's bed. Nayoung followed, sitting next to him with thighs touching.

“You are no less breathtaking, Nana. If he likes you, it meant he could see that. Since when you care about something like people's opinion?" Nayoung's words stabbed Jaemin's heart, making him bow while his fingers drew patterns on Nayoung's smooth carpet.

"I don't know," Jaemin shrugged. "He's so famous, everyone practically knows who he is. So its makes me feel uneasy at some point. Like, of course I don't want people to talk bad about me and I don't want them controlling my life either."

"Jaemin-ah," called Nayoung. Jaemin answered with his eyes.

"Do you like him?"

Jaemin blinked before nodding. "So much." His face heated up as he could imagine Jeno's crescent smile every time he said that in front of Jeno.

Nayoung smiled at him, happy that for the first time, his brother was showing love to someone.

“And he likes you. So much, too. I just hope that you could be the smarter by talk about it to him. He doesn't know any of it. You might be afraid that he won't like you once he find out how 'boring' you are. But Nana, you are not boring. Trust me. Not because I am your sister, but because I'm the one who actually arranged a lot of party back then in my uni so I saw a lot of people and you are far from boring. And if you still insist, I'm sure people like Jeno will appreciate you more because you are special than all of the attention seekers he ever seen. Tell him. You'll know."

Nayoung squeezed Jaemin's hand one last time before going back into her closet. Jaemin didn't say thanks but she knew.

-

Jaemin called Jeno the next day, after he came home from the orphanage.

His mother and father are discussing the dinner menu while Mina and Nayoung clean the backyard covered in leaves. While waiting for Jeno to pick up the phone, he was determined to help his two brothers after this.

"...Nana?" Jeno's voice brought Jaemin's reverie away. He sounded doubtful, full of caution. Different from the cheerful Jeno that Jaemin saw normally.

"Jeno, hi!" Jaemin answered cheerfully. He turned from the window and sat on his bed. "How are you?"

“Fine. I'm good. Spent a lot of time bugging Mark to play with me when all he wanted is just go to Hyuck's."

Jaemin chuckled at that. "Its nice to hear your voice, Jeno."

"Oh?" Jeno answered innocently. "Yeah, Nana. I love to hear your voice after three days." He sounded relieved.

"I missed you." Jaemin ventured. His legs swayed and he bit his lip waiting for Jeno's answer.

But apparently, he didn't have to wait long because Jeno immediately answered, “I missed you too, baby. So much. Oh, Nana. You can't imagine how many times I wanted to dial your phone number just to–nevermind. I missed you, Nana.”

Jaemin held back the big smile that was already stuck on his lips. Even though no one was around, Jaemin still bit his lip.

"Really?" Jaemin muttered quietly. "I missed you so much more, then."

Jeno laughed and Jaemin felt a flower blooming inside his chest. He rocked his body slowly on the bed which was like a cloud.

"I'm glad, baby."

Jaemin felt guilty that because of his selfishness, he had to leave Jeno without a reason. He knew he wasn't completely lying, but he avoided this topic for too long than he expected and he didn't want to make Jeno feel neglected. He must be lonely remembering that ever since they shared their feelings, they were never far from each other.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Jeno-ya. I'll see you, okay?"

“Of course. 10 a.m. in the train station, right? I'll be right next to your train when it stop."

“Yes, Jeno. Thank you… and I have something to tell you tomorrow. Is it okay if we have lunch together?"

Jeno was silent for a moment. "Oh, okay. What is it, Nana? Is it–is it something wrong, or?"

"No no no," Jaemin hurriedly interrupted. “No, Jeno, baby. I promise you its not like that. I just… missed you. Being away from you making me realize a lot of things, like how precious our dates are and I really really like you. So, don't worry, okay? I'll be there tomorrow."

"Okay, Nana." Jaemin knew that Jeno was smiling broadly. “I like you too, baby. I'll see you tomorrow. And Jaemin-ah. Can I… Can I… text you? After this? If that's okay with you."

"Sure. I'll tell you what happened at home. All of it."

"Okay, then." Jeno sounded a lot happier and that made Jaemin happy too. "Bye, baby. Have fun."

"You too."

The phone was switched off and just as Jaemin was about to hide his screams into the pillow, his two sisters burst into the room and crashed him on the bed.

“Aw! Is that Nana's little boyfriend?" Mina teased.

“Jeno Lee, is that him? The perfect and breathtaking Jeno Lee?" said Nayoung.

"Shut up, both of you!" Jaemin hid his face with his hands but Mina and Nayoung tried to pull his hand away.

“I can't believe you being loving-dovey here while your sisters having a very hard time in the backyard. You little rascal!" Mina started tickling Jaemin's waist. Jaemin laughed while trying to avoid his sister's hand.

"Oh, oh, can't wait to tell Mummy and Daddy about Nana's precious boyfriend!" Nayoung pretended to wipe her tears.

“No! Don't you dare!"

"Oh! You threatening me?! How dare you!"

That afternoon, screams and laughter sounded from Jaemin's room and they forgot about the backyard which had only been half cleaned.

-

Jaemin remembers his legs shaking restlessly when the train he was riding entered Seoul. He knew Jeno was waiting for him so he couldn't help feeling enthusiastic. After fifteen minutes that felt like an eternity, Jaemin grabbed the duffle bag at his feet and climbed down impatiently.

As soon as he landed his feet on the platform, suddenly his body was lifted by someone from behind. He screamed softly because he knew it was Jeno and a few moments later, they had hugged each other without caring that they were in the middle of the crowd.

“Baby, I missed you. Oh my God." Jeno whispered.

“I missed you more, Jeno!” replied Jaemin.

They hugged tightly for a few minutes before finally stepping into Jeno's car hand in hand.

"Nice trip, Nana?" Jeno asked as soon as he put his duffle bag into the backseat while Jaemin was sitting on the passenger seat.

"Yup," answered Jaemin cheerfully.

Once behind the wheel, Jeno took the time to land a brief kiss on Jaemin's lips before fastening the seat belt. But just as he was about to pull his face away, Jaemin suddenly put his hand around his neck and deepened their kiss.

“Jeno, I missed you,” whispered Jaemin in the middle of their kiss.

And Jeno felt like he was going to cry when he heard that. He hugged Jaemin back and replied to Jaemin's tongue moving in his mouth. He missed me. He missed me as much as I do.

“Baby…” Jeno sighed as Jaemin's hands felt hot against his neck. But Jaemin shook his head with his face closed. He removed his seat belt and instantly sat sideways on Jeno's lap without letting go of his lips.

Jeno wanted to curse himself because their position at that time made his head whizzing. Jaemin on his lap, kissing him and wanting him. Jeno didn't know if he was dreaming, remembering four days without Jaemin was enough to mess up his mind.

“I don't think–” Jaemin finally pulled his face, maintaining a small distance between his and Jeno's lips. His chest heaved with red and wet lips and Jeno couldn't wait to taste it again. But Jaemin held Jeno's chest as Jeno was about to get closer. “Jen, I don't think I can talk right now. Can we–can we do it later?” Jaemin's eyes glowed like candles behind the darkness of his eyeballs and Jeno could get lost there forever. He confirmed his hug on Jaemin's waist.

"Yes, Nana. We can do it later." Jaemin may say that Jeno doesn't have to worry about anything, but Jeno couldn't help but worry a little. But now, seeing how Jaemin had the same feelings as him, looking extraordinarily beautiful as usual, that worry was quickly dispelled.

“Good. I just want to kiss you now. Can we do that?"

Jeno nodded quickly.

“Let's go. My dorm. Hyuck's gonna be in class all day today." Jaemin got up from Jeno's lap and sat back in his place. He looked at Jeno who was now driving with a serious expression while holding back laughter.

“Easy, Jeno. I'm here with you. You won't missed anything."

Jeno grabbed Jaemin's hand and kissed him quickly without taking his eyes off the road. “That's why we need to get there fast, baby. I want to get all of my kisses faster."

-

Jaemin kept his word. They spent the afternoon making out in Jaemin's room until their jaws were too tired and they hugged on the bed.

Jeno doesn't care if he promises to meet his classmates to study together at the library or if Mark calls him many times to ask where he is. What Jeno remembers, his cellphone was in the jacket pocket which he threw carelessly on the floor of Jaemin's room. The next thing he can remember is Jaemin lying on the bed, inviting him with a small smile and looking at him with the same gaze that Jeno finds every time he looks in the mirror while thinking about Jaemin.

So being in Jaemin's arms, close to Jaemin, and feeling his skin under the thin T-shirt that Jaemin was wearing was a complete blessing for Jeno. He let Jaemin's hands explore his naked upper body while he kissed Jaemin's jaw, neck, and nape.

When their jeans started to feel tight and annoying, they both let go of themselves. They took their chasing breath, then smiled at each other. That's when Jeno took the initiative to hug Jaemin and Jaemin replied. Jaemin's breath was warm on his face and he let Jaemin brush his hair.

“Jeno, I want to say that I'm thankful for all the things you've done for me. I'm so happy to be together with you and I'm sorry if I–If I'm the one who dragged whatever happened between us because I wasn't ready to be in a relationship."

'Wasn't'? Those words repeatedly appeared in Jeno's head. "Nana–"

“I like you so much and I was being unfair because… because I'm afraid that something will happen to us once people find out that we're together. That's why I never acknowledge it. I'm so sorry, Jeno. You are so perfect and I'm not even close to that. I don't want people to say something bad about you being with me."

Jeno's forehead wrinkled even more when he heard Jaemin's voice and as soon as Jaemin finished, he stared at Jaemin with a disturbed look.

"Nana. What the fuck?!" he said incredulously. “You are so amazing. You should see yourself. Baby, you are perfect. I don't care what people say but you're perfect for me. You are so beautiful, nice, lovely, smart… and your cooking was undeniably great. You are so patient with me. So please don't say such things, baby."

Jaemin's breath caught when Jeno's gaze showed deep sincerity. Suddenly he was showered with warm feelings that he had been ignoring because he didn't want to fall too deeply on Lee Jeno.

But Jeno, always so firmly and convinced him more than he could do to himself. Jaemin feels like he's not doing enough, considering that he always needs people like Jeno and Donghyuck around him. The one who sustains him when he doubts himself and takes him out of the thick shell that he has built himself because he is too afraid to be himself in front of others. Donghyuck was the one who pulled him from the janitor closet when he was a child and shunned by his friends. So now Jeno is the one who pulled his from the abyss of darkness as he doubted himself for the umpteenth time. Jaemin felt he didn't deserve someone like Jeno but he knew Jeno wouldn't be happy to hear that.

"Baby, I–"

"I love you, Jeno." Unable to hold back, tears flowed from Jaemin's eyes. He quickly erased it because Jeno was frozen in front of him. This is too much. He knew he and Jeno were not yet lovers but Nayoung's words yesterday made him realize that he had to take action. Maybe he would get hurt, but at least he didn't let anyone else hurt him.

In order to see Jeno's stunned expression, Jaemin nodded. “I love you. I'm sorry. I'm just too much, I'm sorry I–"

Jeno didn't let Jaemin say anything else because he had silenced him with a kiss. This time it was Jaemin's turn to freeze.

"Damn it, Nana. Warn me, please? I feel like flying right now,” muttered Jeno while biting Jaemin's lower lip slowly.

Jaemin stared at him in disbelief and Jeno held his chin. "I love you, too, Na Jaemin."

And then lips and lips. Forehead and forehead. The two of them smiled and reunited in a hug. In his heart, in the midst of Jeno's intoxicating kiss, Jaemin promised to confirm their relationship later, when their lips no longer chase each other.

-

Donghyuck landed his butt on the chair with a dramatic sigh.

“Could you tell me–” he pointed Jeno right in front of his face even though he knew Jeno didn't like being pointed out. “–why is my best friend having a crisis in the bathroom right now; trying to cover up hickey in his neck after convincing his classmate that he doesn't have a boyfriend?"

Mark, who was about to feed the meat soup to his mouth, stopped moving his hands in the air. He looked at Jeno confusedly.

"What?!" he shrieked. "You said you and Jaemin–"

"We're boyfriend, okay?" said Jeno. Slowly his aura that seemed unapproachable and neat faded. He chuckled unsatisfiedly, as if blaming his lunch plate. “He's my boyfriend. He loves me. I love him."

"Then why–"

"He said he didn't want people to find out. Yet." Jeno grunted at his food. "He's afraid that if people find out–"

"Oh, no, Nana and his insecurities really killing me right now," Donghyuck who already knew where this came from massaged his forehead.

Jeno nodded grimly. “I said that its fine. But its been three months and all we can do is make out in the empty bathroom stall, his dorm, or my room. I can't even hold his hands when we're going out."

"I'll tell you, he's been doing better that he did in the middle school and high school."

“Wait, wait! Mind to tell me what happened? I mean, sure, yeah. He's afraid of people's attention and he's not wrong. But you guys sounds like its much more than that,” Mark held back his boyfriend and brother.

Donghyuck took a deep breath, always feeling gloomy whenever he remembered his teenage years and Jaemin.

“He's not a bright child, Mark,” Donghyuck began and even though Jeno started to swallow his, he knew Jeno was listening. “He likes the solitude. He used to play alone all the time since he couldn't really play with his sisters. You know, the age gap and shits. And another kids started to pick on him. They talked to him and he didn't give any respond, so they trashed him in the back and its getting harder at the point no one want to be his friend. He kept mum about it. But of course, kids doesn't like someone that different from them and Jaemin is… pretty. He's always the pretty one so when he didn't give them attention like they wanted, they took extra efforts to make him pay. They're nasty kids.

I'm just a stranger that time and I didn't know something was wrong because the kids are lovely, the teachers are attentive, and the playground is amazing. I didn't even care about him until I found him in the janitor's closet. His clothes were dirty. Apparently, someone splash a juice on his shirt and when he's about to clean it, another kids push him in the mud. His knees bleed and I cried. Its pretty distorted, right? He's the one who comforted me when I supposed to be the one who take care of him. Next thing we know, we're best friends."

Jeno and Mark looked at each other for a moment. As children who were born in a good environment and with good friends, they did not know what it felt like to be treated that way. But they can imagine how unfair it is to Jaemin and of course he feels very lonely.

“The grown ups be like 'ah, doesn't matter, they're just kids' but that's the one that made Jaemin like he is now. In the middle school and high school, he kept walking behind me and try so much not to attract attention. His parents or sisters often bought him gifts like cool shirts or shoes but he doesn't want to wear that at all until I forced him too. He thought its better to gain no attention at all. He rather had people walk through him than say hi to them."

Once Donghyuck finished, only silence greeted them. The garden atmosphere in the quiet engineering faculty yard didn't help either. Mark could only sigh, chuckle while trying to scoop out his food while Jeno had completely stopped eating.

“Anyway, please spare me some mercy and don't mention it in front of Jaemin, okay? He doesn't like it when people knew… He just having hard time dealing with his self-worth so it will be hard for me too. Just please don't go too hard on him."

Mark nudged Jeno's arm, which was still silent. "Maybe you could help him."

"I'm trying!"

"That's sucks," said Mark, shaking his head. "I doubt I can ever forget it if I were Jaemin."

“Well, news flash, Jaemin doesn't forget. He can't."

-

Jaemin knows he can't keep wearing the turtle neck that almost reaches his jaw every time he goes to classes. He also can't keep covering his hickey marks with concealer considering that the concealer can be rubbed off and he has experienced that several times.

Jaemin was determined that he had to warn Jeno the next time but every time Jeno landed his lips on his's skin, the only thing inside Jaemin's mind was more, more, more. It even occurred to him that he was pressing Jeno's head against his neck to show how much he liked it. Of course Jeno didn't complain, considering how nice it was for him to see Jaemin's body decorated with the mark he gave and became a small gift every time Jaemin refused to act like a couple in public.

This is Jeno's only escape after the frustration that always arises every time Jaemin says that he doesn't have a boyfriend to anyone else. Like this afternoon. When Wong Yukhei passed them for the umpteenth time and asked jokingly if they were dating. Jaemin answered firmly and Jeno could only stop himself from hugging his boyfriend and telling the world that they were dating.

“J-Jeno…” Jaemin sighed as Jeno's teeth slightly scratched the skin of his neck. They make out again in Jeno's room which is one of their asylum.

"What is it, Nana?" Jeno looked up.

Jaemin shook his head. "It'll leave a mark, Jen," he said with a muffled sigh.

"So?" Jeno frowned. It was unusual for Jaemin to remind him of this.

"Baby, people will know." Jaemin cupped his hands on both sides of Jeno's face.

Right now, Jeno wanted to say that he didn't care. He won't care as long as Jaemin is in his arms, loving him and kissing him like there's no tomorrow. But he remembered Donghyuck's story a few days ago and his eyes softened. Jaemin seemed a little nervous to endure it and the last thing Jeno wanted was to make his girlfriend be careful in front of him.

“Okay, baby. Okay." Jeno kissed Jaemin's lips softly.

"I'm sorry, Jen. I just–"

"Hey, Nana. Its okay, baby. I said its okay. Don't need to worry. I love you." Jeno kissed Jaemin's cheek and nose, making Jaemin curl up and seem smaller in his arms.

"I love you too," Jaemin replied hoarsely. “It will be better, Jen. I promise."

Jeno smiled. "Of course, baby."

-

Jeno felt his blood boil.

He couldn't believe that, on the only day he decided to eat at the art faculty cafeteria so he could be with his boyfriend, a boy appeared and suddenly expressed his feelings to his boyfriend.

In the middle of the cafeteria, Hwang Hyunjin stood with a wrapped gift and a red rose. Without hesitation he confessed his feelings to the student majoring in dance and even though he was initially enthusiastic about the show, Jeno's face turned red when he realized that the person in question was his Jaemin.

At first, Jaemin laughed along with Donghyuck as soon as Hyunjin confessed his feelings. Jaemin who gave him the best food suggestion in the cafeteria. Jaemin who later promised to accompany him to the bookstore. The same Jaemin who was stunned when Hyunjin's eyes found him and quickly the attention of the whole cafeteria turned to their table.

“Uh… i-it's m-me? Uh… I d-don't…” Jaemin groaned in confusion. Donghyuck who was standing beside him could only close his mouth that was wide open.

"Yes, Nana. He's asking you!” Donghyuck shook Jaemin's arm with a muffled scream.

"B-b-but... I..."

"Na Jaemin!" Hyunjin called back from his place. "It will be my honor if you accept my feeling and going out with me."

In your dream! Jeno gripped his fork tight and Mark could only pray next to him.

"I-I, uh..." Jaemin swallowed nervously. He felt small under everyone's sight and the only thing he wanted was for this to end.

"I'm sorry!" he spoke quickly. He didn't dare to look at Hyunjin and bowed deeply. "I–uh–I can't."

Everyone was flabbergasted by that answer. But Hyunjin took a bold step by stepping closer.

"Is it too much for you?" he said softly as soon as he was in front of Jaemin.

Of course it is, asshole, Jeno was about to bark but Mark held his arm. Mark shook his head quickly.

“S-sorry, Hyunjin. I'm flattered b-but I can't. I c-can't go out w-with you I'm so sorry. P-please forgive m-me." Jaemin lowered his head.

“Its okay. Thank you, Jaemin. I'm sorry for doing this." Then without saying anything else, Hyunjin hugged Jaemin.

This time Donghyuck and Mark glanced at Jeno in panic. Jeno already seemed to break Hyunjin's neck with his gaze. And if only Hyunjin didn't focus on the trembling Jaemin, he would have noticed.

"Hey, Jaemin. Are you okay? Really. Don't sweat it. Its okay. I'm fine, you don't have to feel guilty."

That's it. Jeno got up from his chair and quickly grabbed Jaemin's wrist. He pulled Jaemin away without giving anyone a chance to react and in an instant, they were already in a deserted parking lot.

"J-Jeno!"

"Get in." Jeno opened his car door.

"I still–"

"Get in before I come back there and talk to that boy."

Jaemin obeyed. He let Jeno put on the seatbelt and in an instant, the car sped away. Jaemin didn't dare to say anything when he saw how angry Jeno was next to him. He could clearly see the veins on Jeno's hand and his stiff face. Jaemin never before thought he would be the one who receive the end of angry Jeno, but he knew not to bother Jeno.

Jaemin's cell phone vibrated in his pocket but he had no intention of answering it.

The car stopped at Jeno's yard and even though he still didn't say anything, Jeno still opened the door for Jaemin and carried his bag. Jaemin followed in silence.

They bumped into Taeyong and Jaehyun who seemed to be arguing in the kitchen, but neither Jeno nor Jaemin said anything and headed straight to Jeno's room. Arriving at the room, Jeno threw himself on the bed and covered his face with his arms.

Jaemin stood wavering before finally closing the door and approaching.

"Jen..."

Jeno didn't answer.

"Jeno, please..."

Jaemin wanted to hug Jeno but he wasn't sure Jeno would be willing at a time like this. He prepared his explanation, that he had absolutely no idea that Hyunjin would confess his feelings to him and he never did anything behind Jeno.

But a moment later, Jeno opened his hand. "If you feel sorry, why don't you hug me?"

Without waiting, Jaemin jumped and landed on Jeno's body.

“Its not my fault, Jen. Really. I swear. I have no idea. We never really close to begin with and I never hang out with him or something. I'll ask him about it later, Jen. I promise I'll clear this up for you. Trust me, Jen."

Jeno sighed heavily. He looked at Jaemin who looked guilty.

"I'm not mad at you, baby," Jeno finally said. He hugged Jaemin's waist while Jaemin rested his chin against his chest. “Its just pissed me off. I know you're beautiful and all. But I don't like it when people did something so obscure to you like that when its clear that you don't like it. I hope you don't feel guilty for him, Nana. He's not worth it." Jeno ended his words with a kiss on the forehead.

Jaemin smiled and leaned forward, kissing Jeno's lips.

“That's why I love you, Jen. You know better than make me uncomfortable." Jaemin then leaned his head against Jeno's chest, where he could hear Jeno's stagnant heartbeat. “He just a friend. I don't know much about him so I was so lost when he called my name. I thought he was mistaken or something. I only like you, Jeno."

Jeno buried his face in Jaemin's hair. They've been dating for almost six months and Jeno is sure his close friends have smelled something different from them. Jeno no longer wants to cover this up. "And I want them to know that, Nana."

Jeno could feel Jaemin's body tighten in his embrace. When Jaemin didn't move after a few seconds, he loosened his hug. "Nana...?"

Jaemin slowly released his embrace from Jeno's body. He lay down beside Jeno while taking a deep breath.

“Not yet, Jeno. I'm not ready… A little bit more, maybe?”

Jeno didn't know what was bothering him so much, but Hyunjin's actions just brought him to his senses. He could lose Jaemin at any time and he didn't want that to happen. Everyone can take Jaemin from his side and he can only stay silent without doing anything.

He wanted to be able to protect Jaemin. Love him without hiding. He was tired of having to hold back whenever the two of them were out in the open.

As if that wasn't enough, Jaemin continued. “And I think… you're a bit too much earlier. When you dragged me to your car? They'll figure it out when we're not careful, Jeno."

Jeno closed his eyes, truly annoyed. When he felt Jaemin's hand on his arm, he winced as if it was carrying electricity. He got up quickly and put his hands on his hips back to Jaemin. Jaemin took an unbelievable action right now and he was eager to talk about it.

"Is my mistake now?" Jeno's voice was clear, echoing through the room.

Jaemin sat on the bed, staring at Jeno in confusion.

“No! It wasn't, Jen. I just–"

"Are you embarrassed to go out with me?" cut Jeno impatiently.

Jaemin gasped at that. He was only able to stare so that Jeno turned to look at him with a gaze that made Jaemin's stomach twitch.

"Am I embarrassing?"

"Jeno, its not–"

"Then why do you need to cover up our relationship like I'm a plague or something? Is that how you think about me, Nana?"

“Jeno, of course, not. You are my boyfriend. Please, baby. Lets talk about this, okay? I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. You said 'sorry' enough then I don't know what to say." Jeno snorted.

Jaemin swallowed hard on the spot. “Jeno, its just… me. I'm too afraid too be seen with you because I'm just me. People will say bad things about us and I don't want that to happen to you. You deserved someone that would look good beside you. I don't want to hear people say that I'm not enough for you, Jen. But I'll be strong enough later. Soon. Not now but soon. Jeno, I–”

“Who are they, Nana? Who is this 'people' you keep talking about? I'll find them and I'll fight them if I need to. But you know, Nana, I don't care about them. Never."

Jaemin squeezed the hem of his clothes anxiously. "But you should!" he replied. “Y-you are famous, Jen. You are perfect. Of course its matter, how people see you."

"So that's what's matter to you?"

Jaemin widened his eyes. “No! That's not what I'm talking about."

"Then, what, Jaemin-ah?" Jeno's voice slacked off suddenly. In Jaemin's eyes, he looked so tired. He knew Jeno didn't deserve to have a conversation like this. Jeno shouldn't be someone who doubts himself in their relationship.

"I love you." For once, Jaemin wanted to be strong for Jeno. For Jeno who helped him. For Jeno who is always by his side. He looked at Jeno expectantly.

But all he got was a flash of tears.

"Do you?"

-

After the fight, Jaemin came home alone and decided he wouldn't bother Jeno for a while.

If he felt bad about himself by constantly questioning his confidence, seeing Jeno doubting himself made Jaemin to pieces. Now Jaemin knows the feelings of Jeno, Donghyuck, and his family. Nothing suffers more than seeing loved ones blame themselves and question their self-worth.

Jaemin felt like a failure.

He felt that he didn't love Jeno enough even though Jeno always accepted whatever he gave with open arms. No matter how little it was, Jeno never complained.

Jeno deserves all the love in the world while all Jaemin can give is only one piece at a time that is worthless.

No matter what Jaemin hesitated to himself, he still couldn't afford to call Jeno to talk. He knew he had hurt Jeno and he didn't know how long he could endure the illusion that they were still together.

"Nana?"

Jaemin looked up and met Donghyuck's gaze.

"Are you okay, hun?" Donghyuck approached.

"Peachy." Jaemin shrugged, went back to studying his book. His head was twitching because not only had to practice dancing, he had to memorize hundreds of pages on the history of contemporary dance for his art criticism course.

“Wanna go out with me? Me for Mark and I." Donghyuck put his hand on Jaemin's shoulder.

"Is Jeno gonna be there?" Jaemin didn't look up from his book. But from Donghyuck's silent attitude, he knew the answer.

“The volleyball party, remember? They won the championship but Winwin and half of the team departed to China for holiday and with the visa issues and everything, they just happened to came back last month. So, yeah, the party is late. But it will be cool. Come on, hun."

Jaemin remembers Jeno telling him that a few weeks ago, but he doubts Jeno wants to see his face.

"I have to read." Jaemin held up his book. He didn't let Donghyuck see his face because he knew Donghyuck would be able to read it as clearly as a book. "You go and have fun."

"Ah, come ooon, Nana. There will be a plenty of people, so no one would notice about you and Jeno. Hey, maybe you can talk to him there and you know, sort it out. And not to mention we did contribute to their winning. We came with our charms, did we?"

Donghyuck's chattering at least succeeded in making Jaemin laugh, even though it was half-hearted.

“Its their party. Party suppose to be happy, remember? So just go. I don't want to bring your mood down. Mark deserves the best of you tonight."

Donghyuck stared at Jaemin speechlessly before finally giving up. "All right, all right. Have fun with your book. You are right. All of them are just gonna get drunk, anyway. So, yeah. And by the way, Mark got the best of me everyday, Nana. I never lack on that aspect."

"Thank you so much but I prefer not to hear about that."

"Bye bye, hun!"

As soon as Donghyuck left, Jaemin turned back to the book. This time staring at the scenery outside the window without pretending to read. He saw Mark's car in the parking lot and Donghyuck happily jumping into the passenger seat. It took ten minutes for the car to drive away and Jaemin suspected it had something to do with the see-through shirt Donghyuck was wearing today.

Jaemin sighed while looking at the pile of essays. This gonna be a long night.

-

Jaemin doesn't know how long he has been reading and writing. But when he looked up, it was 1 in the morning and he got two missed calls from Donghyuck. He opened Donghyuck's last message saying that he would not come home because he took care of Mark who was so drunk. Jaemin advised him to be careful before stretching himself in his chair.

He only needed to do a proofread which he could do anytime considering that the essay deadline was still two weeks away, but Jaemin felt immense relief. With his essay finished, he had nothing to worry about until the exam period took place. So with a slightly lighter feeling, he put on a hoodie, grabbed his wallet, and walked out. His stomach was rumbling and the only restaurant open 24 hours near his apartment building was a Chinese restaurant, so that's where Jaemin go.

The place was deserted and Jaemin sat alone after ordering. He left his cellphone in the dorm, so there was nothing he could do but stay still.

The doorbell jingled and a man entered. Jaemin didn't pay much attention to it because the man was wearing black clothes from head to toe, complete with a hat and mask. But when the man said his order, Jaemin looked up.

"Hyunjin?"

Hwang Hyunjin turned his head and was surprised to see Jaemin sitting alone. "Na Jaemin!" He hurriedly paid before approaching and sitting in front of Jaemin.

"Are you alone?" Hyunjin asked.

Jaemin nodded. "Yeah. Just finished an essay and realized that I'm a bit hungry, so yeah."

Hyunjin nodded before saying that he will eat his order there.

"You looked like you needed a company." Hyunjin took off his hat and jacket.

"Thank you. But its okay, I'm fine by myself."

Hyunjin shook his head while wiping the chopsticks.

“We never hang out, Nana. Consider this as a rare moment so better use it well."

Jaemin laughed softly. At least chatting with Hyunjin cheered him up a little. They talk about everything, especially because they are in the same major, so it's not difficult to find topic that can keep the conversation going. When their food came, Hyunjin handed him the chopsticks he had cleaned and Jaemin thanked him.

After eating, they continued chatting. When Jaemin realized, suddenly it was almost 3 am, so Jaemin hurried home. He refused Hyunjin's offer to take him home, but Hyunjin insisted. So they walked together to Jaemin's dorm.

"Where is Hyuck?" Hyunjin asked.

"Partying."

“Oh, I forgot he's with the Mark Lee. Talking about Mark Lee, I saw him and his brother, Jeno, isn't it? In the cafeteria, the day when I confessed to you."

Hyunjin could easily retell it as if he wasn't rejected by Jaemin and Jaemin saw this as a plus considering he didn't want to be awkward with someone as good as Hyunjin.

"Ah... yes."

"And he took your hand. Are you with him, Jaemin?"

Jaemin was stunned for a moment before shaking his head. "No. We just friends because my best friend dating his brother." He swallowed hard.

“Really? He seems bothered to me."

“No! Why would he?" Jaemin replied quickly. “I wasn't feeling good that day and he took me home. That's it."

"Really?" Hyunjin raised an eyebrow.

"Yes!" Jaemin hopes Hyunjin doesn't pressure him. They stopped in front of Jaemin's dorm building.

"So, Jaemin-ah." Hyunjin put his hand in his pocket and looked at Jaemin. "Do you want to go out with me?"

"I... what?" Jaemin stared at him.

“You don't have a boyfriend, right? So I hope its okay if we go out." Hyunjin seemed to be analyzing Jaemin's expression.

"Uhm... I..."

"Unless you're dating Jeno Lee..."

Hyunjin's words made Jaemin stutter and he did the most sensible thing on his mind at the time.

“N-no! I mean, yes! Let's go out. Together. Okay." It wasn't okay, but at that time, he was overcome by panic and bad feelings about rejecting Hyunjin.

Hyunjin smiled in front of him. “Great! I'll text you later, okay? Go on. I'll be going."

Jaemin was only able to say 'yeah, sure' in a small voice and let Hyunjin pass after waving. Oh no, that's what he had in mind. I shouldn't go. But he had already agreed to Hyunjin's invitation and he didn't know if he had a reason to reject Hyunjin.

Jaemin-ah, can you be more dumb?

-

Jeno sipped his drink in the corner of the room. He snorted at the sight of his brother on Donghyuck's lap, rambling on about the paper he should submit next week on aeronautics. In contrast to Mark's other friends who had given up, Donghyuck continued to stare at Mark with a dazzled look. And Jeno was sick of seeing them, especially tonight.

"Come on, Jeno. Let's dance, dude!" Its Yangyang who appeared and carrying a nearly empty bottle of gin. Jeno didn't dare imagine how much Yang had consumed, but he knew Yangyang was drunk.

"Yangyang, bro. Sit down. Steady, steeaady,” Jeno helped Yangyang sitting next to him.

"Brooo, the party is LIT!" Yangyang giggled. “I never get to party in my hometown. This is what I missed!” shouted Yangyang and Jeno covering his ears.

But of course no one cares about them. Shouts like that were very common at house parties.

"Really?" that was all Jeno said.

"Yeah, bro. I missed the alcohol and the people." Yangyang put his head on the counter.

"Yeah? I missed that too, man." Jeno took a sip of his drink.

"Hm? But you partying every week!"

Jeno shook his head. Yangyang tried to put the cap on the bottle, but his focused eyes made him miss many times. Jeno happily helped but he decided to ignore it for now.

“That's my brother. Not me."

"Yeah, yeah. I kinda forgot how Lee Jeno is a loner."

"I'm not."

"You are, man." Yang who finally looked at Jeno. His hand went out. “And you don't even get a boyfriend or girlfriend from all of those parties. I mean, Lee Jeno, man. Come on."

I have one, Jeno said to himself. I have a very pretty boyfriend and I miss him so much right now.

Yangyang sang a song that Jeno didn't know and Jeno put down his glass. He sneak his hand in his pocket for his cell phone, but realized he had left it at home. After all, he and Jaemin didn't speak, so he felt there was no point carrying that thing.

Jeno thought back to their argument three days ago. Jaemin came home from his house alone and even though Jeno really wanted to take him home, his ego at that time prevented him from holding Jaemin's arm and let him step away from Jeno's house with his shoulders drooping. He didn't blame Hwang Hyunjin for confessing his feelings in public to his boyfriend, especially when no one knew Jaemin was his boyfriend. He just regretted the fact that they could never be lovers in public and Jeno more than wanted to show his feelings every day.

But Jeno knew he couldn't really blame Jaemin. Jaemin had a high sense of insecurity and Jeno knew he wasn't doing anything to help him. Jaemin didn't tell him anything about it and Jeno didn't have the guts to talk about it because more than anything, he didn't want to hurt Jaemin by reminding him of the bad memories from the past.

Jaemin had his reasons for doing this and Jeno felt guilty for not letting him explain it first.

I want to talk to him.

Donghyuck said Jaemin was working on the essay in his room and Jeno chose it would be wise for him to contact Jaemin tomorrow, when alcohol was not in his system and Jaemin wasn't too tired.

He chose to make peace, spending the night missing his beautiful boyfriend.

-

Jaemin was getting ready for class when his cell phone rang. Unexpectedly, it was Jeno who contacted him.

Jaemin stuttered picking up the call. "H-hello?"

"Nana?"

"Hi, Jen." Jaemin didn't know what to say. But he knew he was guilty, so he decided to make the most of the opportunity he could. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Nana. Thank you. How are you? I missed you.”

Jaemin smiled broadly at that. “I missed you too, Jen. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Nana. I should listen to you. Not just shutting you up and not call for days."

“Its my fault, Jen. I–I understand."

“Thank you, baby. I missed you so much. Can I see you today?"

“Of course! B-but, I thought you had classes and study group today."

"Can you wait for me then, baby?"

Jaemin nodded, it didn't matter that Jeno couldn't see him. "Sure. I'll wait for you. But Jen, I have something to tell you…” Jaemin decided this was the right time to share his worries with Jeno. He is committed to being in this relationship, meaning that he will no longer avoid everything that worries him and leaves Jeno knowing nothing.

“Last night… I met Hyunjin in the Chinese restaurant. Then he asked me to go out with him. Only because I said we're not in relationship. Hyunjin… he smells something from us so to convince him I-I said yes. B-but, Jen. I wanted to refuse him. Its just because–"

"What the hell, Na Jaemin?" Jeno's voice turned cold.

“Listen! Its just–I need to convince him. That's why I said that. B-but I want to refuse him. So lets figure it out, Jen. I'll reject him, okay?"

Jeno snorted.

“You know, Jaemin, don't bother to wait for me today. I just can't see you today."

"But, Jeno–"

Jeno just cut off the call.

Jaemin wanted to cry in his place, but he was so overcome with panic that he ran outside and banged on Donghyuck's door to remember that Donghyuck was at Mark's house.

“Shit, shit, shit…” With trembling hands, Jaemin called Donghyuck.

But Donghycuk didn't picked up. Yet Jaemin kept trying. With trembling legs and biting his lip, he dialed Donghyuck's number again.

"What, Nana?! I'm in the middle of class before, I swear Professor Byun wants to strangle me when my phone rang–"

“Hyuck! I messed it up! I just–I said that I did say yes to Hyunjin. He's angry at me now, Hyuck. Oh my God. Hyuck, what should I do?"

Donghyuck was silent for a moment before interrupting Jaemin. "Nana, breath. Tell me what happened. "

Jaemin took a quick breath before telling what happened quickly. "...now what should I do, Hyuck?"

"Damn, Nana. I can't believe you did that," muttered Donghyuck. "But I do understand."

“I just… so stupid. I don't want Hyunjin to figure out about my relationship before Jeno and I talk it out. So its came naturally. I asked Jeno so we could figure it out together. Like, maybe explaining it all to Hyunjin a-and… go public or something. But he hangs up on me. I'm so scared."

"Did you try to call him again?"

Jaemin was pensive. "No... he's angry."

"Jaemin, you should try to call him before you call me."

"Shit, I'm so dumb. I'll call him then. Bye, Hyuck."

The phone went dead, leaving Donghyuck standing in the quiet hallway, sighing. "Now he's really really angry, Jaemin-ah."

-

As Donghyuck thought, Jeno didn't pick up or respond to Jaemin's messages. Jaemin came to his house and found that no one was home. The house keeper said the Lee brothers were in class. Jaemin wants to follow Jeno to his class, but he doesn't know if Jeno is willing to meet him.

Finally, Jaemin could only return to his dorm restlessly. Luckily Donghyuck came and accompanied him.

"You didn't go to class, Nana?"

Jaemin shook his head, didn't care if he missed two classes that day. “He's angry, Hyuck. I know it."

Donghyuck sighed. "Lets eat first, Nana."

Jaemin shook his head again. "I really screwed it up, did I?" he said softly. He was massaging his fingers, his habit when he was nervous. "He's the one who called me first, yet I made him angry." Tears curled up in the corners of his eyes.

Donghyuck hugged Jaemin. "Oh, sweety."

Jaemin cried in Donghyuck's arms. "Why I'm like this, Hyuck." I don't like myself. Jaemin wanted to say that, but he knew Donghyuck already knew. That's why Donghyuck tightened his hug.

"Shh. Nana, you made a mistake. But its okay. Rather than talk to Jeno, you can talk it out with Hyunjin first. You know, you can't hide your relationship forever. If you don't feel like telling people about you and Jeno, you could say that you're in a relationship. That's it." Donghyuck stroked Jaemin's back. He let Jaemin wet his chest with tears.

"But Jeno..."

“He's still angry. So I hope you made a wise decision for your relationship, Nana. Its not about how people see you. Its about how you see yourself with him. Of course he feels a little bit hurt. Just a little bit, I promise you."

"W-what if he doesn't want to listen..."

"He will. Or I'll break his fingers."

Jaemin snorted. "Don't..."

"So he will listen to you." Donghyuck emphasized.

-

Hyunjin waited at the café where he and Jaemin promised to meet. To be honest, after Jaemin rejected him, he didn't expect anything from this meeting. He just wanted Jaemin to stop feeling bad for him considering they were classmates and Hyunjin was sure Jaemin is a good person.

At least their meeting at a Chinese restaurant a few days ago proved that. So when Jaemin agreed to his invitation to go out, Hyunjin assured Jaemin that he would not be grudging or angry if Jaemin's decision didn't change.

After all, Hyunjin felt that Jaemin had a unanimous decision before they even met.

"Hi, Hyunjin."

Suddenly Na Jaemin stood in front of him. He looked soft as usual, in a navy blue sweater and cream pants.

“Hi, Jaemin. I've ordered for you."

"Oh, thank you." Jaemin sat in front of Hyunjin.

"So, how is your day?"

“Fine, fine. I guess." Jaemin swallowed hard, not wanting to show his anxiety in front of Hyunjin. "How about yours?"

"Great now since I see you."

Jaemin forced a laugh. "Actually, Hyunjin..."

Their order came. Hyunjin ordered a caramel latte for Jaemin. Jaemin took a sip before turning back to face Hyunjin.

“I wanted to say that… I lied. I'm sorry. I have a boyfriend already. But it's-it's a little bit complicated. So I never acknowledge it to other people. Its my fault, I don't have any excuse on that."

"Hey, Jaemin. Its okay,” Hyunjin smiled, confirming his guess. "I know. I'm sorry for confessed to you like that. I should get to know you first before going all out. But now, I just don't want you to feel guilty for rejecting me. I understand, Jaemin."

"Really?" Jaemin's eyes shone expectantly and Hyunjin nodded reassuringly.

“I just want to be your friends. If that's okay with you."

“O-of course! I'll be your friends."

“Great,” Hyunjin smiled before folding his arms across his chest. "So, since we are friends now, mind to tell what's bugging you?"

Jaemin was flabbergasted. "I–I'm not..."

“You seems bothered. Its okay. I won't ask. You can tell me, if you want. Or we can talk about anything like the other day. I'm good."

Jaemin smiled thankfully. “Its just… I told my boyfriend about meeting you. A-and he got angry... "

"You told him about this?" Hyunjin opened his eyes. "Well, damn right he is."

“Its my fault. Our relationship… didn't set in the right place to begin with. And I just did another mistake. I don't what to do anymore."

"Really?" Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. Now Jaemin knows that's the gesture Hyunjin shows whenever he suspects something.

"I have to apologize, of course. I want to explain it all to him. But Hyuck said to clear things up first with you and give him space..."

"Jaemin..." Hyunjin shook his head before laying down on the back of the chair. “You should go after him first. I'm not your priority right now."

"Yeah, I should do that. But he won't talk to me until his angry subsided. I just need to wait."

Hyunjin sighed before leaning forward. “Yes, it won't do you good when you have conversation while he's angry. But he need to hear it from you first. He could misunderstand thing, you know? Could you imagine how he feels when he know that you're out on a date with the person that confessed to you when he's sulking?"

Jaemin's throat felt dry. "Its awful."

"It is." Hyunjin nodded.

They were both silent for a while before Jaemin finally looked at Hyunjin. "I–I have to go."

Hyunjin smiled with satisfaction before saying, “I would like to take you to him, but it'll make him more angry. So yeah, I'm sorry, Jaemin, but you need to go to him alone."

Jaemin nodded confidently. "Yeah. And I'm sorry, Hyunjin. You are a nice guy."

“Don't sweat it. We're friends." Hyunjin winked at him.

After that, Jaemin got up and ran away.

-

Jaemin lunged into Jeno's house. He ignored Taeyong and Jaehyun who again seemed to be arguing in the kitchen and shouted 'wait' to him. He ran to Jeno's room.

He knocked on the door with a rush of breath.

"Jen? Jeno, its me. Please open the door, Jen. I want to see you. Jeno?" Jaemin's knocking grew louder.

The door swung open a few moments later. But what Jaemin saw was not only Jeno standing in his jeans and white T-shirt, but someone standing behind Jeno.

A girl wearing a white dress and flowing black hair.

"What?" Jeno raised his chin.

Jaemin was nailed to his place, his lips couldn't bring out anything as the words he had been trying to say just disappeared. All he had in mind was Jeno and a strange girl in his room.

“Jaemin,” called Jeno. There was still no familiarity in her voice. He seemed to be talking to a stranger. His eyes was so different from what Jaemin had seen so far. "What is it?"

"Did I interrupt something?" Jaemin scolded himself because that was all he could say at the moment.

It was as if he wasn't standing in front of Jeno's room right now.

“Could you see? I have study date right now."

The girl next to him smiled and Jaemin was stunned to see how beautiful she was. “We're really busy right now. Do you mind…? Unless you have something really important right now."

Jaemin's hands were clenched at his sides and he knew that his face must be white now.

"I just..." Jaemin's words just disappeared.

"You need to go, Jaemin."

You need to go, Jaemin. Jaemin's head foolishly repeated Jeno's words. There was no tenderness in Jeno's eyes and face and actually Jaemin knew he no longer deserved it.

"Okay." Jaemin nodded. "Sorry."

The girl grabbed Jeno's arm and without waiting, Jeno closed the door.

In front of Jaemin's face.

Just like that.

“Oh, Jaemin, honey…” Jaemin didn't know how long he stood stupidly in front of Jeno's room, but Taeyong appeared and approached him.

“Its okay. I'm fine." Jaemin shook his head. His eyes were blinking and he just wanted to get away from there right then and there. "I'm sorry. B-bye, Taeyong-hyung."

So as soon as he arrived, Jaemin left.

-

Donghyuck felt his heart sink into his stomach when he found Jaemin sitting at the bus stop alone.

He and Mark went to find Jaemin after Taeyong told him what happened. He was about to give up when he didn't find Jaemin along the road to their dorm until Mark accidentally turned the car in another direction and that's where they found Jaemin, sitting at the stop opposite from the dorm, pensive alone.

Jaemin didn't say anything when Donghyuck called him. He just walked and got into Mark's car in silence.

“Nana…” Donghyuck opened his mouth but Mark touched his arm. Mark shook his head and Donghyuck shut his mouth. They drove in silence until they arrived at the dorm. Without saying anything, Jaemin walked into his room. And even though Jaemin didn't shut himself up, he stretched out on the bed and closed his eyes as if asleep. He just answered Donghyuck's question with a shake of his head.

Mark didn't know how bad it was that Donghyuck was even shaking where he was standing.

"Its just fucking too much, Mark," said Donghyuck. "It reminds me of elementary school all over again."

"I'll ask hyung, babe. Just wait, okay?" Mark took out his cell phone. He doubted that Donghyuck listened to him because Donghyuck didn't even look at him the slightest.

As soon as Mark leaves, Donghyuck quickly opens the cabinet and takes out some groceries from there. He quickly simmered the water and mixed the spices.

"Shit!" he cursed as the egg he was about to break fell to the floor of the kitchen and now he had a squeaky pan on the stove, a dirty floor, and an onion that had just been cut in half.

"Fuck!" Donghyuck kicked the kitchen counter and Mark came rushing over.

“Babe? Hyuck, what happened?" Mark's eyes widened at the chaos.

Donghyuck tugged at his hair in frustration. “Nothing! I'm fine! It's just–I'm trying to make something for Nana,” he threw the napkin and turned off the stove, then sat down in the kitchen. "I fucking hate it, Mark!"

Mark approached his boyfriend. He ignored the mess on the floor and knelt in front of Donghyuck. "Babe..." he hugged Donghyuck who immediately melted in his arm.

“Its frustrating me when he just shut himself like that. I don't want him to be like that. It's killing me, Mark."

"I'm so sorry, Hyuck. We'll help him, okay. Just… calm down. For now. Okay?"

Donghyuck snorted, finding something interesting when Mark was trying to cheer him up. "You suck at comforting, Mark."

“Well, your boyfriend is trying, okay? That's something you need to appreciate."

"I am appreciating you."

"Great, yeah." Mark rolled his eyes before releasing his embrace. "Now, please rest. I'll clean this up."

"You're the best, Markie."

"Like I heard."

-

The second time Jeno saw Jaemin leaving his house alone was when he opened the door to his room for Jaemin so Jaemin can see him with Ra Eun.

He knew he was overcome by anger when Jaemin said that he agreed to Hyunjin's date and he refused to be the butt of Jaemin's compassion for himself. Especially when he tried to open up and understand. Instead of fixing everything, Jaemin seems to have his own mind and this only makes things even more cloudy.

Jaemin doesn't want me at all. He hated letting Jaemin's insecure feelings make him question himself. He should be strong, but Jaemin's actions seemed to make him realize that they wouldn't go anywhere if Jaemin still considered himself to be inferior to other people. Jeno decided he needed distraction, and the paper his lecturer asked for next week was the right thing for that.

Ra Eun and Yongjin, his study group friends, asked him to find a place to study together so Jeno invites them to his house. Unfortunately, on the way, Yongjin suddenly got a call that saying that his roommate was sick, so he left Ra Eun and Jeno while the two of them continued their study agenda.

Arriving home, Jeno sighed to see his brother and his brother's boyfriend fighting again in the kitchen for the umpteenth time. Jeno never understood the dynamics between Taeyong and Jaehyun because after fighting, they usually spend time in Taeyong's room which is also a studio where everything is soundproof and Jeno doesn't want to know what they are doing. So he invited Ra Eun to study in his room and that's what they did.

He did not expect Jaemin to come to see him but the first thing he felt when he saw Jaemin was not the joy or the feeling of flowering as he had been feeling, but a lump of anger that had been settling for some time and was waiting to be erupted.

Then that's what Jeno did.

Instead of hugging Jaemin, his hands gripped the grille of the door tightly and kept his face straight. It was not an easy thing, but considering that his anger was already running high, he didn't need to pretend much. He could see the surprise on Jaemin's face and part of him cheered because of it. Jaemin certainly felt jealous of Ra Eun's presence but Jeno didn't want to give up so quickly. Jaemin has to learn the consequences and this is what Jeno wants to give in return for what Jaemin has done to him.

When Jaemin blinked quickly with a tense body, Jeno knew that tears would soon burst from the corner of Jaemin's eyes. His heart ached at the thought and Jeno realized what he was doing, so all Jeno could do was tell Jaemin to go and close the door. They have to talk but not when one of them is overcome by anger. And Jeno won't be able to talk if Jaemin cries in front of him.

Heck, he was going to give up his whole world so Jaemin would stop crying.

"Who is he, Jeno?" Ra Eun asked after the door closed and they returned to the floor, facing the pile of books and their essays.

Jeno didn't answer. He stepped to the window and saw Jaemin running away. His mind was split but Ra Eun quickly called him back and reminded him of their previous discussion. Jeno sat back down and tried to concentrate on his essay.

But up to two hours later, he didn't even make much progress. Ra Eun had already finished and Jeno nodded when Ra Eun asked to be driven home.

When Jeno left the room, he didn't meet anyone at his house.

After finishing taking Ra Eun home, Jeno found Mark calling him. He knew what Mark was going to say, so he chose not to pick it up and go home. At one point in his mind he wanted to meet Jaemin but his feelings were still raging so he chose to go home.

At home, he saw Jaehyun sitting in front of the television, watching the latest documentary and didn't say anything when he saw Jeno. Taeyong sat in the kitchen alone and waved at him.

"Mark called." Taeyong opened the conversation while removing the wine glass on the counter.

"I know. He called me too."

Taeyong sighed. "What did you do, Jen?"

"I do nothing wrong," replied Jeno, knowing exactly where Taeyong was talking. “He's the one who wants our relationship to be secret. He's the one who agreed on going out with another person. I'm just studying with my classmate and now suddenly I'm the one who's at wrong?"

“Don't get too defensive on me, Jen. I barely know anything about yours and Mark relationship."

"I barely know yours too."

Taeyong glanced at the living room before sighing. "But at least we didn't hurt each other."

"Really?" replied Jeno. He stepped to the refrigerator and reached for mineral water. “Both of you been arguing every single day. Here. In the freaking kitchen."

"Its just small things." Taeyong touched his forehead. “He's always late and I have to wait. Always. Not to mention that he loves his frat so much so he's partying everyday. You know, that's why I always held a party here. I don't want him to party outside but now even if we're dating, he still doing that. I just… can't." Taeyong looked frustrated and Jeno had little sympathy for his brother.

Different from what people thought, Lee Taeyong, as the head of the family in the house, actually prefers to be alone like his younger siblings rather than partying like crazy. That's why Mark is very selective about who they invite because they don't want their energy to drain on people they don't know.

It is ironic to see this also happened to Jeno and Jaemin's relationship. The difference is, Jaemin let it control him.

"You need to arguing about that everyday?" asked Jeno.

“I have to. Or else he won't change,” Taeyong sighed. He looked at Jeno gently. “Its hard, you know. Not all of friends-to-lovers are flowers and rainbows. Its raining and storming, too. Its harder to comprehend because we knew each other too much sometimes I hope we are a stranger so we could talk things out better. We're too close and its… its hard to see thing like the way it is."

Jeno fell silent to hear that. Taeyong took another sip of his wine. They could hear the faint sound of the television.

"Well, you guys are perfect," Jeno finally opened his voice. "You could trust me since like you said, I could see things clearly between you two."

Taeyong grinned. "I could say the same to you."

When reminded of his problem, Jeno could only sigh. That was when the sound of the door opened and Mark's greeting to Jaehyun. Mark walked into the kitchen shortly thereafter and looked straight at Jeno.

"Man, you're in deep shit."

Jeno sighed distressfully. But on the other hand, he wanted to ask Mark about Jaemin. But they were twins not without reason, Mark quickly landed his body on the pantry chair and began to open his mouth.

"He's not crying, don't worry."

Jeno looked at Mark in shock because he knew Jaemin was on the verge of tears before.

"But he won't say a thing," Mark continued. He grabbed the mineral water bottle in front of Jeno and took a sip. "He tried to sleep. Hyuck made sure that he's eating. But that's all. We got nothing. You know where I found him? In the middle of nowhere. Sat alone in the bus stop. Just sitting. Drenched in sweat, but I saw no tears. Hyuck tried so hard but he won't say anything."

Taeyong glanced at his youngest brother carefully. Jeno looked expressionless but Taeyong knew there was a storm raging in his heart.

"He wanted to see you tomorrow, though."

Mark's words made Jeno's mouth open. He didn't think Jaemin would ask him to meet him. He expected Jaemin to be silent like yesterday and let Jeno contact him first.

“He said you should meet him in the park near here. He'll be waiting for you."

"He did?" said Jeno.

Mark nodded. Even though he felt sad because he saw Jaemin's condition, he didn't have the heart to confuse the situation by taking out his anger on Jeno. According to Mark, Jeno and Jaemin have their own reasons and even though he has a side for one of them, it doesn't matter right now.

“Poor boy just lost his soul. That's the only thing he said to me."

Jeno looked at his hand that was tapping on the table slowly. He knew he was not completely wise in dealing with this problem but he had no choice. Especially when Jaemin could hurt him at will.

"You're okay, Jen?" he realized by Taeyong's hand on his shoulder. “Let's eat, okay? I'll order pizza."

Maybe for now, Jeno could pretend to be fine.

-

Maybe the only thing that can comfort Jaemin right now is a sunny day.

And the sun himself, which is Lee Donghyuck.

Donghyuck cradled watching him get ready and Jaemin chose to ignore the unsatisfied look on Donghyuck's face.

"You don't need to see him now, Nana," said Donghyuck for the umpteenth time.

And for the umpteenth time, Jaemin replied, "I have to."

Knowing he wouldn't be able to change Jaemin's mind, Donghyuck chose the clothes Jaemin wore. He didn't know what was on Jaemin's mind, but he knew Jaemin is sad. Jaemin seemed to be preparing himself for the worst and the only thing that worried Donghyuck was that he knew Jaemin would make the decision now.

"You could choose to be happy, you know?" Donghyuck said, trying to be as light as possible when he handed him Jaemin's soft pink sweater.

Jaemin accepted and wore it silently.

"You could still talk to him," Donghyuck tried again, watching Jaemin put his wallet and cellphone into his bag. Jaemin also brought his book and i-pad with him. Donghyuck is increasingly convinced that Jaemin will do something big considering that it means Jaemin intends to distract himself after.

"You'll come back soon, right?" Donghyuck stared at Jaemin's reflection on the mirror.

Jaemin looked up and smiled faintly.

"I hate it when you're not talking to me." Finally Donghyuck said the truth. He took a quick breath. “Its like middle school and high school all over again. When you just kept silent and didn't let me help you."

This time Jaemin stopped his movements. He turned around and faced Donghyuck who was staring at the floor while biting the inside of his lip.

"I'm your friend. Your best friend. I'm worried about you. Not just me. Nayoung-noona always asked me how you're doing. Mina, too. I'm not complaining, Nana. Its good for me when I said that you're okay and healthy. And I'm so thankful because you did everything for me. But now… its just like the old times, you know? When another kids bothering you and you didn't say anything. You went home with wet shirt because they poured water all over you. You got punished because they stole your books. I still remember how you walked home holding all of your belonging because they fucking destroyed your bag. Its hurt, Jaemin. I'm hurt."

Tears already rolled down Donghyuck's face and Jaemin came closer to hug him. Donghyuck quickly hugged Jaemin back tightly.

“I just figure out that I can't talk when I'm hurt,” whispered Jaemin while stroking Donghyuck's hair. Donghyuck squeezed his back and Jaemin kissed Donghyuck's hair. “Talk doesn't make it go away and I didn't know what to say. I still don't know what to say, Hyuck."

“Well, you could–could try. You don't have to tell me anything. Just tell me what happened and I'll listen. I'll fucking listen to you, Jaemin. I won't do anything you don't like. I'm just gonna sat beside you and listen to you. You don't need to be scared of saying something wrong because I don't care whether its wrong or right. I just care about my best friend and I want him to be fucking happy. I want him to realize he deserves the world so he just need to say it. Please, Nana."

At this point, Jaemin was also crying. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." he sniffled in Donghyuck's hair.

Donghyuck shook his head. He let go of his hug and held Jaemin's face with both hands so they could face each other.

“Don't need to feel sorry about everything, Nana. Do what you need to do. I don't care what are you gonna say to Lee Jeno but just tell me if I need to castrate him because I will. You guys could broke each others heart for all I care but he better be ready because I didn't say that I'll be okay with it."

Jaemin laughed softly between tears and Donghyuck smiled.

“Now go,” Donghyuck pushed Jaemin's shoulder half-jokingly. "Fuck him up."

-

When Jaemin arrived at the park, he saw Jeno waiting for him on one of the benches.

The park atmosphere is quite quiet considering that during the day, more students are in class and people prefer to relax in the afternoon.

Jaemin took a deep breath before stepping closer. He had been prepared to come first so he didn't have to look at Jeno for too long but his conversation with Donghyuck appeared beyond measure and he was ten minutes late from the time he set himself.

However Jaemin refused to subside. He walked quickly closer to Jeno.

When he saw Jaemin approaching, Jeno got up and wait for him. On normal days, he would kiss Jaemin for wearing the cutest sweater. But today, Jeno can't do it. Too much had happened in the past few days, Jeno even hesitated to look at Jaemin in the same way.

"I'm sorry I'm late," was what Jaemin said when he stopped in front of Jeno.

“Its okay. I know it's a bit far from your dorm." Jeno's gaze did not escape from Jaemin's hand which was gripping the strap of his bag tightly.

Jaemin didn't say anything for a moment, busy looking at the tips of his shoes because seeing Jeno in front of him wasn't all he could do.

"I'm sorry." He chose to start with certainty. “Its my fault. Everything. No one deserved to be in this kind of relationship and I just made it hard for both of us. So I'm sorry. Its complicated yet I let it overpowering whatever happened between us. I just want you to know how sorry I am about everything. I'm sorry for putting you in such a shitty position and never truly cared about your feeling. This relationship and you… I took it for granted.”

"Jaemin–"

This is where Jaemin starts to tremble. But he didn't want to stop. He didn't want to be a burden for Jeno any longer. "No, don't. Please. Let me. I know I'm suck at this, so please bear with me. Just once. Okay? For the last time. If you speak, I might be back down and can't found any courage to do this so please."

Jaemin took a breath and gathered all his strength to look up and look at Jeno. He wanted to look at Jeno even for the last time because in Jeno's eyes he found the happiness they had gone through. He wanted to remember Jeno as the person who made him happy and even though Jeno couldn't remember him in the same way, Jaemin wanted to be selfish just for once.

For the last time.

“T-thank you so much… for everything. You done your best while I can't even face my own fear. You are a-amazing. So amazing. Its been wonderful for me. But o-of course you don't feel t-the same b-because all I gave you… its j-just a dust of e-everything y-you had. I'm –I'm so so sorry. I'm so selfish. Y-you deserves everything beautiful a-and all I've been doing is a string of d-disappointment. I'm very sorry f-for never trying hard enough for y-you…” Jaemin gasped and he tried to swallow his tears. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his courage by remembering how well Jeno fits the girl he saw yesterday.

"So please, go." Jaemin said earnestly. “Leave me. Its my fault so its just the right thing for you to walk away from me."

Jeno stared blankly at Jaemin.

“So… this is it? You broke thing off with me?"

“You should say that you're the one who broke thing off with me. Its better for you." Jaemin nodded. His heart was heavy but he felt much relieved. He knew that once this thing ended, there would be hundreds of swords tearing his heart out but for now, this was all he could give Jeno. He didn't want to waste it.

"You don't want to fight for me? For us?"

Jaemin wanted to shout that he was eager to fix whatever happened between them. He wants them to return to having a beautiful and happy day together. But he knew he couldn't do that. It wasn't even worth fighting for Jeno and their relationship if no one had known that they had a relationship to fight for.

Jaemin's eyes stared at Jeno for a long time. He knew Jeno must be hurt but he was too tired to straighten out the problems between them. Jaemin knows he's a coward. And he hoped Jeno would understand that so he could hate him.

"I am a coward." Jaemin spoke softly.

I'm so sorry for ever thinking that I could make you happy. Jaemin didn't say this. Unexpectedly, his heart was crushed faster than he thought and when he could no longer hold back the sound of crying, he didn't have time to wait for Jeno's respond and turned around quickly.

He closed his mouth to avoid the embarrassing voices that came out with tears and tried to walk as fast as possible from that place because the only thing he wanted the most now was to get away from the memories that had been intertwined between them. The kisses and smiles they did stealing in the college bathroom were nothing to be proud of but for Jaemin, it kept him going all week. Being with Jeno without caring about others is a paradise that he makes good use of and even though it makes him want to explode with happiness, Jaemin knows it's nothing.

Maybe things would have been easier if Jaemin could see him as nothing.

-

Jeno froze in place when Jaemin said that.

He didn't know what he was saying because all that came out of his mouth were things he didn't want to say. His body seemed to move against his will and as much as he wanted to wipe Jaemin's tears, his body froze when he saw how frail the person he loves was.

Jeno may pity Jaemin but more than that, he loves Jaemin with his whole body and sees Jaemin so hurt, so empty, and suffering makes him unable to shoo that worry away.

If only Jeno had known that the thoughtless actions he did yesterday would make Jaemin think he could easily be replaced, Jeno wouldn't have done anything and accepted Jaemin quickly.

But it was too late and when he blinked, Jeno could only see Jaemin's back away with his shoulders covered and his hands covering his mouth.

No, no, no, Jaemin. That was all that crossed his mind as his body finally came under his control. He jerked forward and ran after Jaemin.

"Jaemin." He held Jaemin's arm and when Jaemin struggled weakly to escape, Jeno hugged him from behind.

"Nana."

Jaemin shook his head in his arms. He cried while covering his face and Jeno wanted to curse the universe for making his boyfriend hurt. He wanted to beat himself up for letting Jaemin cry but right now, all he could do was make the crying stop.

"Please, Nana. Don't do this."

“Don't beg for me, Jeno! I don't deserve that!" Jaemin's voice silenced his hand but Jeno heard it well.

“I know its hard, baby. To solve all the problems between us and be okay with it. But please try with me, Jaemin-ah. I know you don't want to let me go so don't. I'm sorry for making you sad but I never think that you are a bother. You never a bother for me, Jaemin. And yes, I could be with anyone else but all I want is you, Nana. Let me, Nana. Please let me."

Jaemin's cries grew louder and Jeno slowly stretched his arms to turn Jaemin's body. When Jaemin didn't refuse, he pressed Jaemin's body to his chest. He tried to stick to his words.

“Ra Eun and I… we're just classmates. It wasn't a date. We're just study together and its not just the two of us at first. But Yongjin got a call from his dormmate. His dormmate was sick so he needs to leave. We couldn't study in the kitchen because Taeyong and Jaehyun had another episode so we just go to my room. But baby, I promise you nothing happened. I know I can't prove anything but that's because we did nothing other than studying. I'm sorry for saying that it's a date. I'm just so… angry at you. So damn mad because you agreed to that Hyunjin boy. I called you first but all I got was you saying that you accidentally agreeing to go on a date with him. It pissed me off, Nana. Especially because I can't do that. I can't take you on date publicly. I'm so envy. So so envy."

Jaemin pressed his body on Jeno's chest and muttering 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' over and over.

“Its okay, baby. I'm sorry for made you cry yesterday. I wanted to see you but I realized I'm still angry so I thought it's better for us to talk when we're not too emotional. But I was wrong. I should've come to you and explain it all. I supposed to be the bigger person and talk like a grown up."

Jaemin shook his head. He looked up with a face drenched in tears and this time Jeno didn't hold back from wiping those tears.

“I'm so jealous too when I saw you and her, Jen. Its hurt so much because my insecurity finally got me. I can't even cry because it hurts so much to understand that you could replace me anytime with much better person. And I deserved that. I was an asshole by hiding our relationship and said yes to Hyunjin. I should've just said that we're dating rather than surrender to my weakness. B-but we didn't do that date, Jen. I could promise you too. I came but I said that I'm in a relationship. I ran to your house because I was so ready to tell the world about us. I don't want us to be a dirty little secret and I want to show the world that you are the best boyfriend ever. But I guessed I get the answer..."

"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry..."

“No, Jeno. Don't be. It's a misunderstanding. I trust you. If you really want to say sorry, lets just say that we're both at fault."

Jeno nodded without hesitation. He kissed Jaemin's forehead.

"Let's do that, then." He looked Jaemin's eyes closely. “Telling the world that we are together. Lets do that, Nana. Okay? No more hiding. No more secret… tell me everything. The insecurities of yours… I want to embrace it too so we could be the bigger person together and handle it better.”

"I love you," in a hoarse voice and a little hiccup, Jaemin said.

Jeno's heart warmed and he felt a light shining on the two of them right now. The park that was so boring before became even more beautiful with Jaemin in his arms.

"I'll say it later, baby. When you're smiling and happy. Do you like that?"

Jaemin chuckled, but nodded. He feels very ugly now, with swollen eyes and face, flushed cheeks and nose, and heavy chest. But Jeno always looked at him as if he was worth the wait and Jaemin couldn't ask for more.

-

Epilogue

"I'll fucking kill Yoo Ra Eun." Donghyuck threw himself on the Taeyong's expensive couch.

"Easy there, baby." Mark grabbed the knife in Donghyuck's hand and was grateful that Donghyuck didn't dodge it like before. He quickly shoved the knife into the deepest cupboard in the kitchen and returned to Donghyuck's side.

Throughout the day, Donghyuck's mood was shattered and Mark doubted that he was dating a hitman considering Donghyuck had listed dozens of ways to make Yoo Ra Eun's life suffer. At other times, Mark might see this as sexy, but when the two causes of his boyfriend's anger are now sitting on the single couch smiling, Mark can't feel happy.

“Hey, lovebirds. Listen to my boyfriend when he's all about caring for your love life."

Jeno and Jaemin stared at him. Mark was eager to hit his twin on the head to vent his frustration (considering that Mark certainly couldn't beat Jaemin, especially when Jaemin was now sitting on Jeno's lap, looking small in Jeno's sweatpants and sweatshirts).

"I'm all ears, Mark."

"Of course I hear him. Right, Hyuckie?"

Donghyuck did not answer, still staring at the innocent television with a ferocious look.

"I can't believe she had the audacity to fucking tweet that she was on a date with Lee Jeno." Donghyuck repeated his scolding. "Yeah! Lee Jeno! I fucking hate your groupies. Are you stupid or what? You should be careful on what kind of people you befriended with."

Jeno's face was a little gloomy and Jaemin immediately grabbed his hand.

“Don't blame him, Hyuckie. Its not his fault that she misunderstood him. They were studying!” defend Jaemin. Jeno smiled happily at this defense and kissed Jaemin's cheek. Jaemin shrieked at it and kissed Jeno's nose back.

"Gross," muttered Mark.

"You're no better, Lee Mark," suddenly Taeyong appeared from the kitchen. He put a plate of fries on the table and put his hands on his hips looking at his younger siblings and their boyfriends. “Please stop snogging with Hyuck with your door open. My poor eyes. And you're at fault too, Lee Jeno. You're the one who was saying that you're doing study date with her. Its not her fault that she took it seriously."

Jeno frowned when his elder brother reprimanded him.

"But that bitch actually pick the wrong time to say it!" said Donghyuck impatiently. “Right when Jeno and Jaemin confirming their relationship! I can't believe she just went all the way making a long-ass thread on twitter about her study date with Jeno when all the people are congratulating the couple! Yong-ie-hyung, you know that's nasty, right?”

Taeyong was about to answer but Donghyuck continued, “and just be thankful Mark and I gave you free show. In another life, you need to pay for that shit. I bet Jaehyun-hyung gave you the ‘neck-massage’ I showed him the other day.” Donghyuck wagged his eyebrows and Taeyong's face turned red. His hands swung away and land on his neck.

"Fuck, no."

Donghyuck whistled. "I could see."

“Well, stop giving us a free show! We had enough!" grumpily, Taeyong stepped up. Everyone knows he will definitely join Jaehyun who takes a nap in his room.

"Babe, you're wild." Mark shook his head.

"Don't pretend like you don't like it, Mark Lee." Donghyuck pointed his index finger and Mark's face turned red. “Anyway, back to the witch. You've decided what are you gonna do to her?" Donghyuck asked Jaemin and Jeno.

"Umm... should we?" Jeno looked carefully at Jaemin.

Jaemin just shrugged.

“Both of you are dumb. We been knew," replied Donghyuck. He straightened up. "You can't just let her go with it. People loves gossip and next thing you know, there will be a whole story about Jeno's dick in Twitter. Come on, straight things up. Message her, tag her, burn her online, I don't know. She's a freaking evil for even starting a rumor about Jaemin being freak and going after Jeno."

“Yes, Hyuck. We've read her thread. And her replies. She got famous even for the people who didn't know me. I'll do something."

"Don't just 'do something', Jeno!"

"Well, I don't want to go in prison for her?"

"Its not for her, but for Jaemin!" replied Donghyuck, not wanting to lose. He turned to Jaemin who looked thoughtful. "Nana, baby, she said you're a stalker so Jeno had no choice than going out with you."

Jaemin shrugged, looking unfazed. “Jeno post my picture all the time on his Instagram, tho? He answered all of the accusation wisely."

Donghyuck doesn't care. “And she said Jeno is dumb for believing in you because she knew that you just wanted to play with people hearts. She said that Jeno were the one who go after her and try to make a move on her a lot of times. He even tried to kissed her and touch her–"

“Tsk, that bitch really want to die, huh? Jeno is very nice people he even asked my consent when he's about to go fast inside me, Hyuck. What the fuck?! She thinks Jeno is that easy, huh? Just because she happens to have tits then she could brag that people want to touch it? Ewh. She really pull that victim card when in fact she's the one who asked Jeno to take her home and told Yongjin to go because she wanted to be all alone with Jeno. Whoa, she'll eat from a straw from now on."

Jeno and Mark gaped at Jaemin because for the first time they saw the ever-gentle Jaemin become so fierce because he heard Jeno would be slandered even though he was fine when his name was tarnished. Meanwhile Donghyuck smiled broadly. He managed to unmask Jaemin, who had clearly read all of Ra Eun's replies and checked the girl's social media. Donghyuck did it too, so it wasn't difficult for them to know that Ra Eun was a homophobic who tried to trap the handsome guy she was after. Jeno was her third “prey” and Donghyuck was annoyed that the fact about Ra Eun's actions was simply covered up by the scandal she created himself.

“B-baby…” Jeno tried to say but Jaemin didn't care.

“Hyuck, I think its better to do your nineteenth plan. We could point out the past that she tries to cover on her Instagram comment and tags, then report her to the dean. She made false accusation and I don't want people to come at my Jeno. And while waiting for the report, we can do something like visit her and confronting her. But if she lay a hand, hell no I will be stay silent."

Donghyuck jumped cheerfully in his chair. He looked at Jaemin imploringly. "But don't you think my fifth plan is better? I mean, yeah, we could report her. Definitely. But I love to see her screaming after we put dead rat on her locker. One of her friends sent me her convo in her group chat and I really want to get physical with this girl because she said she'll prepare fake condom next time when the scandal is going down. She's gonna pull the sexual abuse accusation if we straight up report her to the dean without further evidence."

"WHAT?!" Jaemin rose to his feet, ignoring Jeno who was trying to hold him back. "YAH! TAKE ME TO HER NOW. WHAT THE HELL? I WON'T LET THIS BITCH LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO BREATH TOMORROW, LET'S GO, LEE DONGHYUCK!"

"JAEMIN, NO!" shouted Jeno.

"BABE, PLEASE SLOW DOWN SO WE COULD THINK-"

“THERE IS NO TIME TO THINK, MARK. THIS WON'T HAPPEN IF YOUR BROTHER KNEW THAT NO ONE–I REPEAT–NO ONE IS AS KIND AS NANA. THIS IS WHAT SHE'LL GET WHEN SHE MESSED WITH MY BEST FRIEND. I CAN'T WAIT TO BREAK SOME BONES!"

“NO, DONGHYUCK! NO BREAKING BONES!"

The atmosphere in the living room was so chaotic.

"KIDS? KIDS! I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT COMITTING MURDER: I DON'T RECOMMEND VIOLENCE, NEVER IN THIS HOUSEHOLD! SO STOP YOUR ASSES AND BE STILL UNTIL I'M THERE! WE COULD TALK IT OUT LIKE HUMAN BEING!" there was a roaring scream from the second floor.

"TAEYONG-HYUNG, YOU COULDN'T STOP NANA AND I WHILE ALL YOU'RE DOING IS RIDING JAEHYUN JUNG'S WANG!"

“I'm NOT–Jaehyun! D-don't!–RIDING JAEHYUN'S DICK! WHAT THE HELL?!"

"YEAH? BUT I COULD SMELL SEX FROM HERE!"

"NOT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, DONGHYUCK!"

“I thought Taeyong is more into horsebacking. He's not the type that goes all soft and watching his boyfriend's face while having sex,” said Jaemin who seemed to forget his anger.

"Baby," Jeno rubbed his face, giving up on the uniqueness of his boyfriend that he had just met now.

"Yeah, actually me too, Nana. Since they're like to argue before sex. But who knows? He could punch Jaehyun's abs while fucking him." Donghyuck replied.

"Really?" Mark covered his face with both hands, frustrated by how chaotic the situation in his home was now. He did not believe he had to hear an analysis of his brother's sex life from his own boyfriend. "What did I get myself into?"

"Oh?" Donghyuck looked at Mark with raised eyebrows. "Now you regret me, Mark Lee? Seriously?"

Mark opened his mouth and hurriedly shook his head. “That's not what I'm talking about, babe. Trust me–"

“THEN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY–” before Donghyuck finished his screams, Mark quickly grabbed his body and took him while running to his room. Donghyuck's voice was still blaring through the hallway until Mark slammed the door shut.

"What is wrong with all of them, Jen?" Jaemin muttered, confused.

Jeno stared at Jaemin in amazement without saying anything.

"Hm? Is something wrong with you too?" Jaemin asked while looking at Jeno innocently. Jeno quickly grabbed Jaemin's body in a hug and kissed his lips softly.

"No, baby. You are so cute. My heart can't take it."

"Really?" Jaemin wrinkled the tip of his nose, but didn't refuse to put his arm around Jeno's neck back. "I guess so."

Jeno smiled. Jaemin has gotten better at accepting compliments and he feels proud of it.

"Now, can you tell me more or maybe show me the horsebacking thing?"

Jaemin hit Jeno's shoulder lightly while pushing his body away.

"Jeno, you're pervert!"

end