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Chapter Text

The End...(?)

'...And now the end is here
And so I face that final curtain...'

His mouth hung open as he watched the black, bubbling mass spill out in every direction, engulfing the entirety of Soul Society within itself. He couldn't believe it - it was the end. It truly was.

All hope was gone, lost forever in the inky blackness that now occupied this world, and the next to come.

Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. The still-fresh images of carnage invaded his mind for the umpteenth time today. They were dead. All of them. Chad, Orihime, Rukia, Renji, Ishida, his fucking old man... - everyone was dead.

They were gone, they were all gone.

And it was his fault! All his fault!

He failed.

Failed, so utterly and completely that everyone had paid the price - the Soul Reapers, the ordinary souls, the humans, the arrancars, even the blasted hollows... The training which he received from the Zero Squad - it was all for nothing. He wasn't strong enough, and now-

The emotions of anguish, pain, and despair were threatening to swallow him from inside out. His hands shook, and he could feel the taste of vomit working its way up to his mouth. Ichigo wanted to sob, to scream. To do anything that would help tighten the gaping hole in his chest.

He saw her face, once again. Her pretty, upturned nose. Her lips, small, but perfect. Her symmetrical, arch-like brows, her almost porcelain complexion. And her eyes. Her big, brown eyes, looking at him... looking at him, but not seeing him.

Not seeing anything anymore.

When he had stumbled upon her, all color drained from his face. The horror, the immense horror which he felt when he saw what had happened - it nearly destroyed him, then and there.

Ichigo knew Orihime had loved him. Over time he started to notice the subtle hints, the way her eyes lit up when she saw him. He wasn't the romantically blind kid from years ago.

Yet still, he had never shown her any real affection, although he knew about her feelings and maybe felt an inkling of something for her, too. Always putting it off, always telling himself he wasn't ready - the substitute shinigami had just lost his chance, forever. And it made something inside of him snap.

She was the first one of his close friends to go.

Renji was the second. Torn to pieces, just as they exited the gate.

...Telling him how Ichigo needed to pull himself together and defeat the Quincy King if only to avenge Inoue literal minutes before, during their trek through the Dangai.

His death made Ichigo's insides boil. White-hot rage had engulfed him. Rukia's cries died out in the background as he charged, having abandoned all reason.

It did not end well, either for him or for his long-time companion. He wasn't sure how, or when, but the Kuchiki shunpo'ed in front of him and blocked a deadly swing at his midsection.

Suprise overshadowed his previous anger then. If not for her, he would have just up and died-

Just as he was about to retreat, with her in his wake, Rukia had fallen to the ground. She wasn't moving. And a pool of blood was slowly forming beneath her-

The horrifying realization hit him like a stone boulder, crushing and suffocating him.

After that, he felt as if he only lived to avenge her, and the rest of the fallen ones. The fallen ones - his friends... comrades.

Even Aizen was swallowed by the savage monstrosity, right before his eyes, just minutes ago.

...The monster - the creature that was once called Yhwach - Ichigo wasn't sure that name still implied to the formless mass.

Since then, he was the last one remaining on the deserted, ruined battlefield - a place which no doubt was once a part of First Division's barracks, right now nothing more than dust on stone.

The urge to scream, to fight, to do something couldn't leave his mind.

But it was hopeless - everything was doomed to fail before it even started. So he just stood there, dull, broken, devoid of all feelings but despair.

...Only despair remained, for there was no room for anything else...

"Do you see now?" The loud, booming voice rang all around Ichigo. It was him. "No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you cannot win, Ichigo. I am the Almighty." Hearing the gloating, the venom in Yhwach's words - it made him sick. "But don't despair, my child, for it is almost over. At a moment's notice, you too shall become a part of the new world."

"Shut up."

Shut up, shut up, just shut up , please !

"Leave me alone! Just shut- just shut up-" He couldn't, wouldn't take this anymore. "Just... just get... get this over with..."

Just end it all.

"As you wish."

Tears streamed down his face as the black mass exploded and shot up, rapidly making its way towards him.

In the moments which he thought were his last, Ichigo thought of home. Of Yuzu and Karin. Of simpler, more peaceful days, when his only concerns were school, some occasional brawls, and annoying stunts Keigo pulled. So much had changed - so much had gone wrong.

After he lost his powers, he became depressed. The need to get them back used to be what drove him. He oh so desperately wanted to have them again - couldn't stop holding on to his memories of Soul Society, even when they started slowly fading away.

Now, he only wished he could come back to his friends. Live a normal, full life devoid of death, suffering, and loss. Because of what he had strived to regain, he was now trapped in a broken world, alone, with no-one left to mourn after him.

Guilt and regret tugged at his chest. He felt guilty for all the mistakes he had made - for all the things he had ever done, really. And for his inability to protect everyone.

It will soon be over.

In an instant, he lost all vision. The black mass pulled him inside, into the depths of itself. He could feel the tar-like liquid flow into his nostrils, his ears, even his mouth.

It felt like drowning.

Everything became inky blackness. Time seemed to slow. Simultaneously, it was as if there was no time at all. No time, no place, no space, no presence, just endless sea of goo.

It's done.

He didn't know how long had it been. All Ichigo could hear were his thoughts - muddled as they were. After a significant while, panic began to grip him - something was seriously wrong - but what was it? For the life of him, he couldn't remember.

Where was he?

Who was he?

Many questions plagued his mind. The more of them he asked himself, the more confused he became. Confused, and exhausted. What he would do for a little nap...

Even if he desired it very much, for some reason he couldn't put himself to rest. At the same time, he grew wearier and wearier. As if something was slowly trying to suck all energy out of him, with the final intent of leaving behind only an empty shell.

For the longest time, there was just nothingness before him, steady and peaceful, undisturbed. He felt as if it was the only thing he knew - everything else became a blur, his memories having merged into themselves. Sometimes, he could remember bits and pieces of conversations or hear someone laughing in a familiar voice.

At other times, more ominous elements passed through his mind, such as screaming or crying.

None of that mattered to him - he couldn't even understand where those flashbacks came from, anyway.

...It had all lost meaning - the memories, the thoughts, the feelings. They were irrelevant - useless. Just as he was.

. . .

There was quiet. Peace, stability. It was all the same as it has always been, yet suddenly he felt unrest within himself. It was odd - nothing ever happened in the void. Vibrations began appearing everywhere as if something... moved? Undoubtedly somewhere. But where? Was it moving... towards him?

It was a long time since he had felt so awake. It was a strange but refreshing experience.

He felt the urge to act - but at the same time, what could he do? He was just a disembodied presence in a sea of darkness with no means of... defense?

Whatever was coming, it had quickened its approach.

Kurosaki Ichigo.

Suddenly, like a gust of wind, the words appeared in his mind. Ichigo wasn't sure what was the reason for this flashback - somehow, it was more prominent than the rest.

...With the presence closing in on him, he was starting to feel like he was in some kind of danger. Trapped, even.

All of a sudden, he felt something different. It sent a sensation all across his presence. The feeling was so alien, and yet so familiar to him - he was sure it wasn't the first time he had experienced it.

Did...

His mind was flooded with sounds, smells, and images of numerous things - with the sensations long forgotten...

...somebody just grab my... hand?

Absolutely amazed, he realized that in fact, he had a hand. A real, non-translucent hand. And something- somebody grabbed it.

Hell, he might even have had a full body at this point!

The presence which had grabbed him still held on - apparently, it had further plans. It began to pull him in a direction unknown. He didn't resist - actually, he was curious as to where it would take him. Nothing ever happened here since everything was always the same, stationary, and oh-god-so-boring - and this was new.

A mix of joy and apprehension began brewing in his chest.

The further he was pulled, the more resistance from the black mass he encountered. Despite that, he still kept on going, never stopping. He went faster and faster until he became so confused he wanted the thing to let go. But he couldn't make it stop.

Suddenly Ichigo felt as if he was ripped from something bigger, oily, and smooth - as if he surfaced from a years-long dive. There was light all around him and it blinded him. He began coughing and wheezing, not able to withstand the sudden feeling of emptiness around him.

He was led forward through the knee-deep liquid by someone he couldn't quite see - his eyes still haven't adjusted to his new surroundings, and he almost fell over a few times, not being used to moving around.

They arrived at something dry, solid - ground(?) - and he got out of the inky goo which he had been stuck in for so long. Blurry shapes began forming in front of him. He blinked a few more times.

There was one bigger shape - it was probably closer than the others. It was all person-like, too.

The silhouette stayed rooted in one spot. He had a distinct feeling that whoever this was, they were observing him - carefully measuring him, perhaps.

"Where am I?" He rasped out. His voice sounded hellish - rough with disuse.

"In the Valley of Screams, I presume." The mystery person answered in a calm, matter-of-fact tone.

For some reason, he had this feeling as if he was supposed to recognize the stranger's voice - he was sure this wasn't the first time he had heard it. He just couldn't put his finger on exactly who this was, although his gut was incessantly pressuring him to remember.

"A Valley of... what?" This was also probably something he should already know. But at the moment, Ichigo didn't have the slightest clue. Though it did sound pretty ominous.

God, his mind was mush.

His vision gradually cleared, and so after a short while, he was finally able to see the details of this new place. It looked like a desert, with tall rock formations everywhere.

And yeah, a valley it was. A desert valley.

He was sure he had seen it once, before...

As to the person in front of him, it was a tall, brown-haired man. He was dressed in a strange, black uniform and one of his eyes was covered.

There was something very distinctive about his face - it awakened all sorts of feelings within Ichigo, and mostly not the good kind.

His gut was now fully screaming at him and the feeling of familiarity couldn't leave his mind-

And yet, he still couldn't put his finger on just exactly who this was.

It was so fucking frustrating, honestly!

He must've been openly gaping, for the man cocked his brow at him, and something in his eye gleamed-

"And there I was certain you had already visited this place, in pursuit of the Shinenju. But alas, it seems I was wrong

So I visited this place - because I was looking for... what now?

The man smiled... or, Ichigo wasn't sure if his expression could indeed be called a smile since it seemed a touch too flat-

"As you can see, it is... just us. If my suspicions are correct, Yhwach has successfully encompassed all three worlds with his newfound power." The man spat the last line, as if excessively displeased with this Yhwach guy, although at the same time partially trying to hide it.

All Ichigo could think of saying to all that was 'Okay'. What came out was a bit less intricate:

"Ah..."

The man was now looking at him even more intently than he was before. Ichigo began feeling a touch uncomfortable under his gaze... and so, he decided he needed to try and steer the conversation to the topics that would actually help him in this situation - extremely urging gut feeling ignored (well, there probably wasn't anyone else in this desert for miles...).

He seems to know me. Maybe he can... help me out?

"If I may ask...well, it's going to sound weird, since you talk as if... just - who are you? I know it's a bit strange, but it seems I can't remember... you."

Or anything at all.

Even having decided to ignore his instincts, he wasn't about to divulge everything to a person that felt so - well, one could say dangerous, even.

Momentarily, the man looked at him with bewilderment - Ichigo could see it flash in his eye - but then he eased his face into a mask of calm... and then, there was that creepy-ass gleam back again-

"Oh. You don't... remember me? Well, that is one fascinating development."

Ichigo didn't know what to say to that. He definitely didn't like hearing of his memory loss being in any way fascinating, though.

"Uh, I'm not sure if I would call it that. It's one hell of a confusing experience."

The man chuckled, deep velvety voice reverberating across the valley.

"I'm sure it must be.

"Ichigo..." His name - for some reason it sounded so wrong when the mystery man said it. "I must ask... do you remember anything at all?"

For the life of him, he didn't. But- but he didn't feel like telling the man the whole truth, either.

"I mean- yes. I remember some things. Parts." It wasn't entirely a lie, but it wasn't true, either. He did get flooded with sensations and images - it was just that, they were taken out of context, and he now couldn't remember most of them-

"Parts."

"Yeah, parts." He said, a little too quickly. Was he bad at this?

Probably.

"And what are those parts you seem to remember?" The man asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"To be honest - I don't feel like telling you that... just yet. I just- maybe you tell me your name, for starters? Maybe that will... refresh my memory."

The man paused as if considering something. It was a momentary reaction, quickly masked by that strange facade he seemed to suddenly try and keep up.

"Pardon my manners. Aizen Sousuke."

There was a pull in his gut. Something, somewhere, someone-

Sudden, searing pain erupted across his cranium.

...Ichigo!...

Flashing lights, a voice - a female voice was calling his name. Somehow, someway he knew her, but for the life of him, he couldn't-

...sentenced to execution...

An image of a strange hill flashed across his mind - there was a large flat area at the top of it, with an odd, tall contraption build upon it.

...the Sōkyoku Hill...

He saw a black-haired girl - dressed in white, with a red collar around her neck. There was fire, everywhere around them-

...The memory skipped to a man - with brown hair, glasses, and a white haori - an incredibly familiar man...

He was holding the girl in the air, and he- he-

What the hell?

He put his hand inside of her and took out an orb.

Just as Ichigo watched him do so, the pain of his headache became unbearable. He was sure that he had collapsed to his knees at this point, unable to deal with the sudden onslaught.

...Finally, as the last vestiges of this flashback faded into the depths of his mind, the pain subsided.

In the moment of clarity that followed, Ichigo's mind was bombarded with bits and pieces of his life.

This time, they weren't just a meaningless clump of memories - this time, there was some weight behind them, something that caused them to stay anchored.

...Yuzu making dinner for them all. Karin sitting at the table, annoyed at some - spirit?...

...A girl in a black shihakusho stepping through his window - Rukia!...

Then, he saw an orange-haired girl, and-

...Orihime and Tatsuki...

Many other faces flashed through his mind, and so he started to regain recollection of some of the events in his life.

...The betrayal - Aizen's betrayal!

He remembered Hueco Mundo. He remembered how Inoue was kidnapped by the very man who stood before him-

Ichigo recalled how he had sworn to himself he would get her back. They - him, Ishida, Chad, Rukia, and Renji had arrived at the Hollows' Realm to rescue their friend.

They split up at some point - and then...

...nothing.

He couldn't remind himself how he'd gotten here. This wasn't Hueco Mundo - no, this was...

Senna!

The Valley of Screams - where Senna...

God damn it-

It was all too much. He had his memories back, but his circumstances - there was no making sense of them!

Aizen!

What if this was all an illusion? What if he'd gotten himself caught - but couldn't remember it - and now the traitor captain was toying with him-

Fear suffocated him - fear for his friends - had they managed to get themselves captured, too?

"Aizen! You- what did you do to me!?"

He watched as the substitute shinigami groaned in pain and clutched his head. His eyes glazed over - a clear indication that he was currently relieving something - memories from Karakura or Sōkyoku Hill, perhaps.

The memory loss that the young man exhibited was indeed something quite unexpected - but not impossible, either.

Aizen himself too had for the fraction of a second not remembered anything. Then, of course, thanks to the power of his Hōgyoku, the memories were returned to him and so he could attempt an escape from Yhwach's prison...

He had a few hypotheses of how the Quincy King managed to reach his current state but to his growing ire, he couldn't be certain.

...For Yhwach's body, at one point, had to have been in some way destroyed.

It had then melted into the black sludge, a strange ever-increasing substance. After the slime had... engulfed them both, Yhwach had made it his goal to seep into all of the worlds, with his final intent to devour them.

No-one was left to stop him - so Aizen could wager a guess that the dimensions were, undoubtedly, long eradicated...

...and if that was so...

To put it simply, that didn't bode well (he could feel his hands clench and unclench at the uncomfortable truth, an involuntary reaction he carried on from the unpleasant times of his youth).

What Sousuke was even more unsure of was how he - now they, as Kurosaki had proven once again he was not easily defeated - had managed to end up in a Valley of Screams.

By all accounts, if his theory was correct, then it should have been destroyed along with everything else.

But, for some reason, it wasn't-

Aizen watched as Kurosaki fell to his knees with a yelp. Before the man could react in any way, the substitute shinigami snarled:

"Aizen! You- what did you do to me!?"

Curious.

The young man was apparently convinced that it was Aizen who was behind this grave situation. Now, just how many of his memories did he manage to regain?

"I have done nothing to you. I have only helped you flee from Yhwach's clutches - that is all.

It would probably be prudent to ask...

"Tell me, Kurosaki, what is the last thing you remember?"

Ichigo looked at him, eyes wide open, an expression of someone utterly terrified plastered across his face.

"What? You- you- what the fuck are you talking about!?"

He stifled the urge to sigh.

It looks as though I'll have to steel myself for a long conversation.

"I asked what is the last thing you remember. It seems that there is a great portion of things missing, judging from your confusion."

"A- So you're trying to tell me that I forgot everything up to this point and this isn't one of your illusions-

He rapidly cut off, bewildered.

"Why should I trust anything you say!?"

Why should you? Good point, Ichigo.

"My ability is not based on measly illusions. No, my Kyoka Suigetsu is capable of entrapping a person in perfect hypnosis. It affects all senses of an individual, making them unable to distinguish reality from whatever it is that I want them to see.

"Say, if you were indeed under the influence of my Zanpakuto - under perfect hypnosis - do you truly think that you would be able to recognize it?

"I do not want to fight you, Kurosaki. Not at the moment, anyhow. Time is of the essence in this place - that is, if my assumptions are correct."

The substitute shinigami visibly gulped, startled beyond belief in his anxiety-ridden state.

For that, Aizen couldn't blame him, not really.

He himself began feeling the first traces of fear take hold.

If his belief was true, then at some point the pocket of space that the Valley existed in should compress and finally disappear, undoubtedly crushing them in the process and leaving more room for whatever it was that Yhwach wanted to create.

What remained unknown was when such a thing would have to happen-

It could take place weeks from now.

...Or maybe they had left only a few hours (he truly hoped that was not the case).

In one of the better scenarios, the black mass wouldn't be able to corrode the place for up to a few years.

"Hueco Mundo.

"I- The last thing I remember, we broke into your base. We decided we would split up and- that's it. I don't remember anything from that point on."

Oh.

"I see.

There is much I will have to explain to you, then.

"If that's the case... well, then it seems that you are missing at least two years worth of memory."

What!?

The first thought - the first accusation that rattled across his mind as he heard Aizen claim that the gap in his memory was bigger than just a few hours was the predictable as ever 'You're lying!'.

Because, obviously, this couldn't be true-

It was wrong - or actually, more than just wrong - impossible.

And yet-

He didn't know how he found himself here. His clothes were... different from what he remembered to have been wearing. There was an additional white cloth around his waist, and his sleeves were gone - torn, apparently.

And the only person who could explain what happened to him was Aizen, of all people-

What the fuck did I do to find myself-

How in the world could I just up and forget a whole two years of my life!?

"Let me explain what happened. I think it might help you work out some of your evident confusion. Possibly compel you to remember some of the details otherwise lost, as well."

Ichigo gaped wordlessly at the traitor captain.

Should I... listen to him?

Every instinct, every bone in his body jerked in disagreement.

...But who else could describe to him his circumstances?

His eyes raked over the horizon. There was only dust and stones around them - and if he truly was in the Valley of Screams-

How the hell do I leave this place-

"Fine." He uttered it out quickly - before the more reasonable part of his mind could catch up and stop him.

Ichigo was positive he could assess what Aizen had to say to him. He wouldn't let himself get manipulated (there were people at stake, there was always someone he strived to protect - this time, whatever the conditions, it couldn't be different).

...And, although he wouldn't admit it out loud, at this point, he desperately needed the answers. Something - anything

It was a part of himself that he tried to bury under layers of grim determination... but to no avail. There was something wrong, something ice-cold, at the edges of his conscious, as if a foreboding of the things that were to be revealed.

"I will tell you everything that I know of.

"Although I attest - some things from your life that happened in between the begging of your gap and the Quincy war, you will have to fill in yourself through gradual recollection.

Wait- wait a damn minute!

...the Quincy war!?

His breath caught in his throat at the mere mention of the Quincies.

What- How!? But Ishida said-

"I know only the vague outline of the things you have done, and I was a witness to the last fight that has... quite disastrously so, in its consequences brought us here."

The longer Aizen explained, the more terrified Kurosaki became.

At first, anger and disbelief shone brightly through his face, but as he started getting into detail... it was as if along with the things he described, flashes of memory appeared in the substitute's mind.

...Flashes of knowing, flashes of horror...

The Soul King had died at some point - he must have had, as it was the only way through which Yhwach could have taken control of the realms.

To his understanding, Ichigo was there, present in the Royal Realm, when the Soul King was cut down (or rather, as he would prefer to call it - when the glorified remains that used to keep the worlds stable were destroyed).

...Kurosaki's rising dread was overall, quite understandable.

In his mind, the young man must've been convinced of his utter, and complete failure at everything he ever swore to uphold and protect.

On the contrary to the substitute, Aizen did not have such issues - at least, not with protecting what was dear to him - as it was all already long gone.

...What he did have issues with, though, was his very probable soon-to-happen demise via shrinking pocket dimension.

Fortunately, he did have some remaining tricks up his sleeve - for now. Unfortunately, they would be extremely taxing if he attempted them with only his power.

Convincing Kurosaki to help him would be invaluable in this situation. The substitute's already vast reiatsu, combined with Aizen's own... it could be more than enough for what he wanted to attempt.

As he was getting to the moment of the final fight - the last straw, the one thing that had doomed all three worlds...

"Wait- wait, please wait- what about... Orihime? What about my-"

There was something, some extreme, unspoken tension in Ichigo's entire posture.

...was he-?

For a moment, it even felt to Aizen as if he should thread carefully with the young man.

...Some of the evident concern he was experiencing must have leaked through his usually tightly-kept mask of calm, as Kurosaki almost flinched, surprise visible in his eyes.

Ah yes, he was tired. Apparently, all too tired to effectively manage his expressions-

"Kurosaki? Now, what has diverted your attention from-

"Nothing!" He nearly shouted, startled.

Aizen usually hated it when someone interrupted him in the middle of a sentence (it was something he tried to hide, but even he agreed with himself it was one of his more obvious flaws) - and yet, this time, he felt his annoyance rise, but he couldn't find it within himself to feel an ounce of genuine anger.

He further blamed this deviation from the norm on his growing exhaustion.

He took a breath, and continued from where he left off:

"You, miss Kuchiki and Abarai Renji went through the gate. Unfortunately... I do not have any recollection of Inoue Orihimie following after you.

"What I know of, or more so, what I have seen as I was still immobilized in that infernal chair...

The urge to thread carefully once again appeared at the forefront of his mind. The information he was about to present - it had the potential to break Ichigo. That, on its own, right now wasn't on the list of desired outcomes from this conversation.

...But he couldn't hide the truth forever. As Kurosaki had already shown, the young man could very well remember what had occurred on his own.

He settled for:

"...I'm afraid that they didn't, quite... make it.

-there was a sharp intake of breath, and it was as if all color had been drained from the substitute's face-

"I'm quite certain that nobody did. As I said, it's just you and me. We are the only survivors and this Valley... at the moment, I'm afraid it's the only place that exists outside of Yhwach.

Ichigo looked something in between incredibly nauseous and sick.

"But, before you lose all faith... I might have a solution to this problem that we seem to be having."

After hearing that- after hearing what he was afraid of hearing all this time, at first, it felt like his mind had shut down.

The gravity of the entire situation hadn't exactly hit him until now.

They... they didn't make it...

A wave of cold washed over him. As if breath was knocked out of his lungs, for a second it was as if he couldn't gasp for air-

Before himself, he could see eyes - such lifeless, unseeing eyes, and a halo of orange hair-

They are dead. They are all...

It felt as if shards of ice were dropped onto his abdomen.

...dead...

He wasn't certain if he was shivering or not, but it sure felt like he was.

His friends were fucking gone, and-

And he was stuck here, apparently... because everything else had been razed by Yhwach as he achieved that God-like state of his.

...He was stuck here, and outside of this place...

...nothing existed - if he understood Aizen correctly.

The entire thought - the entire idea that everything, all the dimensions were eradicated - it was almost impossible for him to wrap his head around.

Panic began setting in, propelled by Ichigo's intense sense of grief - and guilt, which stemmed from him not being able to save them... he had been too weak, and now all was lost-

"...before you lose all faith... I might have a solution to this problem that we seem to be having." As if the words managed to tear through the thinly-woven cover made of fear, he perked up, nearly involuntarily.

Aizen was staring at him, his brow cocked, something inscrutable in his eye-

I'm alone...

...I'm trapped in this place, and the only person that I'm left with is him ...

Although Ichigo felt strong unease whenever he talked with Aizen - since the man had done nothing but wished harm on him and his friends...

I could... hear him out, I guess.

There simply was nothing else left for him to do.

"A- a solution, to this?" He strained himself so that his voice wouldn't waver too much but he wasn't exactly sure if that had achieved its desired effect.

"Indeed.

"I possess extensive knowledge that could... aid us, in this precarious situation. Notably, I know of a certain formula - several spells used in tandem, which are said to together have time-and-space-distorting capabilities.

"Their use is said to be incredibly dangerous and I have never tried casting them, due to the apparent side-effects that they are supposed to inflict... but at this moment, I'm afraid they might just be our only hope."

Like... time travel?

He couldn't believe it - time travel was possible!? And via Kido, for that matter?

...But then again, was anything else about this situation, or anything about the world really, truly, ever 'normal', as an ordinary resident of the human world would say?

Deep within himself, like a candle lighting the midsts of a dark cave, he felt a small, warm, and tickly flicker of hope arise.

So we could... go back in time... before all this bullshit ever happened, and-

There were risks, of course. Aizen said that there were some side effects to the spell - although he didn't specify precisely what they were.

...And could he actually trust his once-enemy... his literally enemy-turned-temporary-ally?

Well, there was no reason for him to lie, if the circumstances that they found themselves in were in fact what he said they were...

Although he certainly strongly wished to, he couldn't deny the memories that played out before his eyes as Aizen recounted to him the events of the Quincy war.

Even the lone thought of them... the lone idea, the awareness of what happened - it made the blood freeze in his veins and it made tears threaten to fall from his eyes each time, even though he tried to stop it - because he wouldn't break down in front of someone like Aizen, he couldn't-

I'll fix this. I'll fix all of this-

"What do I need to do?"

The upfront question seemed to have caught the traitor captain a bit off guard. It really wasn't much, and he quickly smoothed his expression, but it was there - a shadow of surprise.

"I need you to help me. To cast the spells and in consequence, partake in the ritual, one needs a tremendous amount of reiatsu.

"Mind you, my power is nothing to discount... but even I surely wouldn't be able to come out unscathed was I to be the sole participant in this."

Well...

There was a problem, a big one. Ichigo didn't really need to use Kido before... so, even though Rukia oftentimes tried to convince him, he had never learned it.

...His experiences with sensing reiatsu and failures at reiatsu control might have been a factor in his unwillingness, too.

"Oh... alright. Well, then there seems to be an issue - I don't know how to, exactly, er, cast Kido in general."

He desperately tried to mask his embarrassment but to no avail.

Up to this point, he had always managed to survive without knowledge on how to cast spells. How could he have known the entire fate of the world would depend on it one day!?

Aizen pinned him with a long stare.

"I suspected as much... I thus offer to teach it to you."

... Wha-

Aizen wanted to teach him spellcasting?

Well, looking at their circumstances, it was not an illogical choice... still, it seemed so strange and out of place and-

Ichigo definitely wasn't used to having Aizen as an ally.

"You will... teach it to me? Okay. Yeah, I guess that's a great idea-

Aizen cocked a long-suffering brow at him.

"What is it?"

"I'm terrible at reiatsu control. The last time I tried to focus it, I blew something up. Apparently, it has something to do with my hybrid status and my power levels... and how they are too high for me to manage them. Are you sure that this is doable, actually?"

He blurted it out before he could stop himself, more unsure of all this by the minute.

Aizen observed him, apparently hard-set and confident in what he was about to say if a little bit incredulous.

"Why, of course, it is. How do you think I manage my reiatsu? It is quite doable, indeed. As to your hybrid status... I am not sure how that may affect your spells, but I assure you that casting them should not prove impossible.

"...And anyhow, you will never know without trying."

Well... whew, I guess?

"Fine. So... when do we start?"

"Right now would be preferable. We must not waste any more of our time. I am... unsure as to how long we can spend here...

"But let's not focus on that at the moment. For now, follow me, Kurosaki."

Chapter Text

We think a flower on a cliff is beautiful

because we stop our feet at the cliff's edge,

unable to step out into the sky

like that fearless flower

Ichigo followed after the traitor captain further into the Valley - passing barren, flat structures rising high up into the sky - landmarks that made their surroundings seem nearly like an endless, silent maze.

There were no natural sources of sound in the Valley, as he came to learn. Only their footsteps reverberated across the place, unusually loud and at times almost startling.

It was as if the whole area was completely dead , devoid of all that made a place somehow real , and special...

This place, it's - so empty...

Nothing ever truly lived here - just like right now, everywhere else - everything and everyone was gone, too...

He still couldn't entirely wrap his head around - or, more like really understand - what Yhwach had done. It was, just-

No.

Don't- Don't think about it. Just don't .

You can fix this - and you will .

Ichigo swore to himself to concentrate on the walking - and not the thinking.

...Aizen was leading a few feet in front of him, quiet and focused on the task at hand.

Although he was itching for some sort of human contact - some closeness, some god-darn familiarity in this place... this was still Aizen , for fucks sake, so he wouldn't dream of just casually striking up a conversation-

Where the hell are we going, anyway-

The mental question was promptly answered when they emerged onto a larger, more spacious clearing from a smaller intersection.

Oh.

"So... this is the place?" He asked, constantly unsure and more than a little uncomfortable talking to his ex-enemy.

"Indeed. It will prove sufficient for our purposes." The man answered, his cold, calculating gaze sweeping the horizon.

Soon, he turned around so that he was actually facing Ichigo. "I also brought us so far into the Valley because Yhwach won't be able to reach us here as easily."

There was a certain tinge of foreboding in his voice... as if-

"Wait, wait ... what do you mean, reach us here ? How...?"

The substitute shinigami felt a faint shiver run down his spine . Hearing some form of genuine worry, from the man that had managed time and time again to stay unbearably calm in the face of the entirety of Gotei 13-

Shit...

This must be pretty fucking bad, right?

"It is nothing we must concern ourselves with, at present." Though, for a second, it looked as if a shadow of doubt passed across the former captain's face.

"Although I suspect that the longer we spend here, the more this place shall constrict. Yhwach has successfully destroyed all three realms and is on his way to destroying what little remains. What other distractions he might have involved himself in, I do not know...

"...But that is why we must act fairly quickly, and complete the ritual.”

There was a sudden shift in Aizen's disposition, like a different facade sliding into place.

"Tell me, Kurosaki, is there anything that you know about Kido?" The tone was calm and curt - but there was an undercurrent of something closely related to peaking curiosity, in the man's voice.

Ichigo supposed he would disappoint him with his intended statement, then.

"Nope... not really."

"Alright then. Let us start from the beginning."

That Urahara Kisuke or really any member of the Gotei 13 hadn't decided to teach Kurosaki the basics of Kido was truly a statement on how the Seireitei perceived their substitute shinigami.

...Had anyone - Yoruichi or whichever of the captains the young man managed to befriend (as much as one could befriend a captain of the Gotei 13) - told him that he was nothing more than a glorified tool in the hands of Soul Society?

Ichigo, as a hybrid between a human, quincy, hollow, and shinigami, possessed nearly limitless potential. These fools rejected even the chance of unraveling it - in the pursuit of what?

...Some semblance of control over him?

Even if he disliked to admit it to himself, he always grew frustrated when nothing was done with an interesting prospect. This was worse than simple negligence - it was intended, and he had expected more of Urahara than simply bowing to the whims of higher authority. 

Two years passed, and Kurosaki had as much knowledge of the fundamental laws of Soul Society as he had when he first entered Hueco Mundo.

That was indeed disappointing.

...But it could be at least partially remedied, as long as he was here, with Aizen for company.

He was quite sure that Ichigo would most definitely reject all attempts of Sousuke's to make him understand his perspective on certain things - but he could show Kurosaki a substantial way to control reiatsu.

It would be at least a little bit satisfying, in the grand scheme of things.

Aizen always liked teaching - it was one of the reasons for which he held that calligraphy class, back in the Shinigami Academy, other than just providing another facet to cover up his true personality (oh, to have the persona of the gentle and kind captain Aizen again - it was extremely useful, as much as it made him feel genuinely inadequate at times).

And so, rather effortlessly, he managed to bring forth the memories of his teaching days and fall back into his desired frame of mind.

It was vital that first, he explained the ins and outs of control. For without sufficient control over one's spiritual energy, all spells were doomed to fail.

Kurosaki seemed to listen to his explanations intently, although there was a certain amount of concern shining through.

...What was it that made the substitute so insecure about his own abilities?

"So, I have to... concentrate on my core. Envision something that will separate and divide my spiritual energy - like a dam, sort of.

The young man huffed as if greatly inconvenienced by the whole ordeal.

"Here goes..." A focused frown overtook his face, eyes closed in concentration.

At first, nothing could be sensed. But Aizen was a patient man and an even more patient teacher.

After a moment, it was as if an invisible current had picked up. Ichigo's reiatsu fluctuated, and then...

Good.

It wasn't by any means ideal, but it was certainly a good start on Kurosaki's part.

Unfortunately, he could soon feel the reiatsu waver, Ichigo's grip on his spiritual power slowly but surely slipping from his grasp.

"Try to keep it up." Aizen could egg the young man on, but it was quite clear that this time he wouldn't be able to hold out.

He hated this.

...Surprisingly, not Aizen's teaching methods, no. Every single one of his very many transgressions aside, the man was a competent teacher. Oh, and he actually explained things first, instead of immediately throwing him into the fray.

What Ichigo hated was focusing his reiatsu this intensely - he rarely kept a tight reign on it, and so he became accustomed to it being a little all over the place, wherever he was.

While the action wasn't in any way draining his powers, it was... mentally taxing.

How in the world do Kido users keep this up all the time!?

...And did they? Or was it just Aizen, doing this so he could always have the upper hand over others?

As if reading his thoughts, the man queried:

"You don't have to keep this tight of a rein on your reiatsu all the time . You should focus as much as you can during incantations - and then gradually lessen the amount of pressure after you've completed the spells.

"It is advised as something to do when one starts learning Kido. The longer you practice control, the more skilled you become."

The man raised a finger, and momentarily, a medium-sized glowing ball appeared out of thin air.

...It promptly grew bigger and bigger, only to shrink in one fell swoop and fizzle out.

"This is a simple exercise. Pour your reiatsu into a singular area to manifest an orb, and control its size via your spiritual energy flow."

I guess that's easy for you to demonstrate...

Was he anxious to fail on the first try? Well yes , slightly.

If it was Rukia teaching him, and not the man who not so long ago wanted to pulverize all of Karakura, maybe he would be less nervous...

"Right."

He focused his spiritual energy as much as he could (the act of control became easier after a few attempts) and focused on a single point in front of his outstretched finger-

Come on? Work...?

-nothing was happening.

A bit annoyed at his own inability, and a little panicked at the same time (what if he really couldn't use Kido!?), Ichigo instantaneously poured more of his reiatsu into his envisioned, non-existent orb...

-and then, it appeared . And it grew big, very fucking fast-

Oh shit!

He tried to tone it down, but it was too late. Ichigo heard Aizen say something - or maybe, even exclaim - before he had to instinctively jump as far away from the thing as he could, because-

Boom!

A loud, ridiculously large explosion rattled across the place, stirring up a cloud of dust all around him.

He coughed and hacked, the sand had gotten into his nostrils-

...His right hand was a little singed with soot, but he was otherwise fine.

Holy fuck. Well, that went...

...pretty damn terribly.

Someone had cleared their throat, right behind him-

Instantly, he whirled around, startled, only to find himself uncomfortably close to Aizen.

The traitor captain's calculating gaze settled on him, and the way it made the hairs stand up on Ichigo's arms-

...He could clearly envision him, as he took out the Hōgyoku out of Rukia's prone form without a sliver of emotion on his face... - and the fake Karakura town-

...I could practically touch your heart...

Ichigo was closer than what he felt he should ever be, at any rate.

He swiftly backed away from the man.

...Ichigo didn't know if it was his imagination or not, but... did Aizen just... let out a tired sigh?

Utter surprise and befuddlement must have had been visible on the substitute's face.

The ex-captain wasted no time in schooling his expression...

...only for a faint smile to appear.

" Well ... this was a valiant try, I must admit. Although it would be best if you didn't repeat what you've just done. It wouldn't do for you to attempt to blow yourself up every time you cast a spell."

Was Aizen... teasing him, just now?

He bit back a retort, even though some estranged part of him, kind of... wanted to engage?

Yeah, no. Not in a thousand years.

Kurosaki was making rapid progress, even though he didn't seem to acknowledge it.

He truly did have potential... the likes of which Aizen hadn't seen in any other than himself. That became clear to the traitor captain three years ago, and it stayed clear up to this very moment.

After several (this time, non-explosive) trials, the young man had managed to get a full grip on creating reiatsu orbs.

...They would move on to simple incantations, if not for the sudden question the substitute decided to pose.

"So... how long have we been here already, anyway?"

And what a question it was. Because how long , indeed?

The flow of time, in this place... it was different, somehow. Almost as if distorted. If that was something innate to the Valley of Screams or caused by the destruction of all planes - he didn't know.

They could have been here for several hours - and that was the answer he was leaning towards. And yet... at the same time, something at the back of his mind was telling him that it could have already been days .

His senses must have been altered, in some way. That in itself was a rather concerning thought...

It was usually him who did the altering, ironically. For Yhwach to pull out the same card now, so that they were almost at his mercy - if the former Quincy King even realized that they were still alive - it could spell trouble.

...To Aizen's understanding, Yhwach was either unable to get to them, or he simply didn't know they were there. Hence he expected the Valley to slowly shrink.

Or...

Both of these theories were deeply flawed, of course. There was also the sneaking suspicion that the Quincy King knew and just... chose not to react. For now.

But if that theory was true - then, why not react? Why let them get away?

It could be that Yhwach didn't consider them sufficient of a threat. Or maybe he did, it was just that... he oh-so patiently waited for them to make the first move. Which would be quite foolish, since the ritual would - or rather, should - instantaneously take them to the 'past'.

...There were numerous variables and not much evidence to support either of these assumptions.

For the first time in many years, he could feel the beginnings of an oncoming headache. Was it because of their entirely irritating circumstances (the possibility of being at the mercy of another - this time, the new Soul King - something he should have become), or maybe because of the immeasurable number of things that could fail them...?

"I am not sure." He finally answered, having decided that the truth would aid him the most in this situation. He needed Kurosaki's cooperation, and so the substitute needed to know at least some of the implications. "I'd wager a guess we have been here for but a few hours. Although..."

"You can feel it, too." Kurosaki looked stricken.

"Indeed. It is as if time's flow has been altered , somehow...

"I do have a few theories on why such a thing is possible. The distortion could be either caused by the Valley of Screams itself... or by the new reality we appear to have found ourselves in."

Ichigo visibly tensed, folding his arms in the process, seemingly taking a defensive approach to what Aizen had just said.

"But- but how! ? How is something like this happening...?"

How?

It seems as though you presume I have all the answers, Kurosaki Ichigo.

"I do not know."

If only the substitute could see himself - the young man almost gaped, before regaining his composure.

Sousuke knew that he could use his Kyōka Suigetsu to temporarily affect the perception of time for his opponents (and even change the perception of time for himself, to a point... that ability was indeed incredibly useful while he had been confined to Muken).

While he understood the properties of his own Zanpakuto, this ... it was as if the layers of reality itself were being reforged anew. One couldn't begin to wrap their head around something so... unnatural with ease.

After a moment of hesitation, Ichigo sighed and let his hands drop, as if having lost an imaginary dispute with himself.

"I guess it's... not something that's very important now, anyways."

Well...

Technically, it was. But-

"I suppose so. We need to focus on getting you expertise in Kido, Kurosaki. Speaking of which...

...He hadn't thought to ask about it. After two years in Muken, he'd almost forgotten how it was to feel it. Thanks to the Hōgyoku, he didn't need to worry about such distractions.

"...we would continue the training now. But first, it would be prudent if you told me - do you feel hungry?"

"I- um...

Kurosaki's expression seemed to be simultaneously so confused and shocked every time Aizen talked about trivial things that it was starting to get amusing.

" No . No, I don't...

The confusion on his face quickly grew.

"...shouldn't I be, though!? I mean, depends on how long we've been here, but from the looks of it..."

Oh, you definitely should be. Even very much so, with the reiatsu output that you have recently achieved.

"Interesting.

"It could be that this place is not only affecting our judgment of time but it also influences the physical."

Especially with an exiled noble family living in one of these pocket dimensions for hundreds of years, the ability to somehow sustain themselves thanks to their mere presence in the Valley could have been possible.

At the same time, this too could just be a by-product of Yhwach's meddling.

Either way, this particular aspect of the place was actually helpful to them. Or, at least, to Ichigo.

This place was insane .

The last time he had been here, none of this was happening. Granted, Ichigo had spent here only something close to an hour... but still .

...What had caused this!?

He didn't know what was worse - the fact that time itself was somehow distorted here ... or the knowledge that Aizen was practically as clueless about all this as him.

The substitute wished that it wasn't the case but...

Well... all I can do now is just admit it.

...he'd come to rely on the man (as stunned as he was that it came to that). A bit, at least - as much as he would let himself.

The traitor captain was like a damn library, for god's sake. He stepped up, told Ichigo what they needed to do-

That's what he does, right?

The man himself was like an illusion. Always changing, making himself viable to the situation. Maybe even when he didn't exactly mean it... subconsciously.

A faint, oily sliver of worry began forming at the back of Ichigo's mind. What if they-

"...as long as we remain together, the time distortion shouldn't be especially grating. Have you... been listening ?"

Oh.

It was as if white noise had overtaken his hearing, with Ichigo being all too absorbed in his ever-growing list of worries.

Stop it. Get a fucking grip-

"Uh... sorry, I just- spaced out. For a bit. It's fine, I get it.

For a second, the traitor captain looked at him incredulously-

"We need to stay together. As long as one of us can talk to the other, we can at least get a semblance of the present. If we wind up alone... it will all just blend together after a while, in a weird way."

Aizen cocked his head to the side - almost curiously, something - some sort of emotion gleaming in his eye again.

"Indeed. For a person who couldn't grace me with their attention, you understand this fairly well."

Huh...

The urge to talk back was pretty damn strong on this one.

...Even after having repeated to himself mentally multiple times not to do it-

Just this once-

"I am not nearly as stupid as some people make me out to be, Aizen."

The former captain lifted his brow at Ichigo for a moment, as if considering something...

...only for a smirk to appear on his face right after-

"Oh, I know . You wouldn't be able to grasp the theory behind reiatsu control as fast as you did if you weren't at least moderately intelligent.

"It makes me wonder... why hasn't Urahara taken it upon himself to teach you the basics of Kido? Are you selling yourself short , Kurosaki?"

...And there it was. He had risen to the bait, and now he entered a conversation that he would rather not be having.

That's one way for you to fish for information.

"I don't know. Hell, I barely had the time to do anything... else ... other than wrapping up my education ever since I got my powers back.

"Maybe he didn't have time? Or he didn't try to teach me because I hadn't asked? As I said, I don't know - I don't care ."

Urahara could seem shady as hell at times, but Ichigo had known the man long enough to know he didn't possess any ill intention towards him or any of his friends.

What reason could there be other than that he never expressed any sort of desire to learn Kido?

It was true that hat-'n'-clogs was the one to tell him that it would be particularly hard for him to learn Kido, or even control his reiatsu to a greater extent in general... but the man couldn't have been lying , could he? A mistake must have been made.

...Why would Urahara ever lie to him about something like that?

"You seem conflicted, Kurosaki Ichigo," Aizen observed, in that self-confident, arrogant tone of his.

Yeah, no.

" How about we move on to - what was it we were supposed to be doing - oh yeah , Kido? Because I think this is going way off track..."

The traitor captain neatly brushed off the whole conversation as if they were just talking about the weather:

"I see... Well, we should indeed come back to the task at hand. You are completely right.

But then...

...There was a shift in his attitude and all of a sudden he seemed intent on keeping eye contact with the substitute shinigami-

"Though, I feel I must apologize for my comments. I didn't wish to taunt you. Only... to highlight something... I think you might not be noticing."

Seriously!?

What was Aizen even hoping to achieve-

...and did he just apologize to me-

This was getting strange. Way too strange for Ichigo's liking.

...Ichigo knew that Urahara had some secrets (a person quite like him was bound to). As long as they weren't threatening his friends or family, he swore to himself he wouldn't get too eager to uncover them. He didn't have the time, nor the patience, and he respected Kisuke's privacy (although he tried to avoid thinking about it, the man was like a mentor to him).

In the chaos that the unexpected apology had wrought, the substitute knew one thing for sure - they needed to get off the topic.

"...Fine. It's fine. Can we...?"

Having heard that, Aizen looked... one could say, even... somewhat relieved ?

"Yes, most certainly."

He breathed in once again, adrenaline coursing through his veins, the incredibly wordy incarnation having poured out of his mouth just seconds before-

"Hadō #1 - Shō!"

In one moment, he felt a strange tug on his entire being - as if his reiatsu had condensed .

Some sort of pale aura formed across his index finger, and in a brilliant flash, a beam of light shot out, hitting the far-away wall with a violent crash!

...Only for the small shockwave to stir up dust, which once again ended up getting into his nostrils-

Ichigo covered his mouth with his hand, exasperatedly.

Someone remind me - why does this place have to be a desert!?

... The retreating particles revealed what could only be called a medium-sized crater...

Oh, shoot.

Yeah... this spell definitely wasn't supposed to get that explosive.

He was pretty sure that it was called thrust for a reason. This was his second try - the first one didn't fire at all . The reiatsu just buzzed around his hand weirdly, like small bolts of electricity, only for them to quickly disperse.

It definitely didn't go the way Aizen had demonstrated. The traitor captain said the name of the spell, and it instantly shot out, impacting the stone. It only left a crack, as if something huge had hit the wall but bounced right off.

...Also, learning the incantation - something that was apparently mandatory if you wanted to start practicing any sort of spell - was a bitch . Especially since they didn't have anything to write with - so Ichigo needed to repeat it, sentence after sentence. That took a crazy long time and was tiresome.

With his spell having... come out the way it did, he looked over at Aizen, waiting for some sort of... admonishment?

Honestly, probably not that .

The man sometimes resorted to teasing, but it seemed as if those inquiries were meant in an almost... humorous (!?) manner. Other than their conversation about Urahara, their cooperation was going rather smoothly. Much better than he anticipated it ever would.

He caught the traitor captain staring at the ruined stone wall, some sort of emotion (...was it wonder?) - etched across his face.

"Oh, well ...

He paused as if searching for the right words.

"Why, do you know, Kurosaki, that most of the time this works the other way around? What you have just done... is what is called overloading the spell.

The former captain said that with a hint of humor, a shadow of a smile dancing on his lips.

"At least, to overload a spell this minuscule takes a certain amount of... talent .

And you mean by that what exactly-

"I do not mean to tell you that you have somehow proven yourself incapable . On the contrary, actually. To have this much raw power... quite an outstanding feat.

"But of course, it would be crucial for you to learn to distribute that power, as much as you can. Thus we will try again , and again."

Ichigo really wasn't sure how he felt about that earlier part.

"Are you- what do you mean?" He blurted out, sounding slightly miffed.

Because - did Aizen compliment him right now-!? ...Or?

He wasn't sure how he even felt about that - and if he had indeed been complimented by Aizen (since when did that man do compliments)...

The traitor captain pinned him with a stare - a mix of confusion and curiosity brewing in his eyes.

"I meant what I said . Is there something you failed to understand?" He said - like he was genuinely confused as to any other way that this could be taken.

What he means is that I'm fucking bad at regulating my reiatsu flow...

But... he kind of told me that I'm pretty powerful in my own right.

Okay-

This was all perfectly reasonable. And yet-

I guess I didn't expect him to be capable of being... this way.

There was no more denying and dancing around the way all of this felt to him.

He didn't expect to be in the near vicinity of the man ever since he had defeated him. To have sensed him at the site of his battle with Yhwach was quite a shock in itself.

...Having Aizen fight at his side was even more bizarre...

Maybe it shouldn't have been?

Even though the former captain overall remained as mysterious to Ichigo as he was to all the others... the substitute shinigami had come to know a few things about him.

...Things no one else knew, perhaps.

When he set out looking for it, the memory was already waiting for him to recall.

...he was poised to strike, looking at the person who wanted to destroy everyone he loved - all that he did in the selfish pursuit to become god , no less...

...his blade hit Kyōka Suigetsu with tremendous impact, sparks flying in all directions...

...and then, it hit him. For a second, he thought it was a physical blow but- it wasn't. No - he could feel it, deep in his heart...

...it took him a while longer, a few minutes of fighting the man more, to realize that this heart-shattering feeling wasn't his own...

During their fight, he could feel so much ... loneliness. Cold and scathing, like the touch of ice during a particularly freezing winter night.

...the feeling that he was missing something. Something he had wished to possess, but could never have-

That made him piece out that aside from his calm, calculating, and even daring facade, there was someone... just impossibly alone .

The person who looked back at him on the battlefield - even having hollowified himself halfway through - wasn't only an uncaring, unfeeling monster-

No, there was something more (even though he might have wished there wasn't - it would make things so much more damn simple).

...Ichigo was so overwhelmed with those emotions that after he finished the fight he blurted everything out to the closest person available, which happened to be Urahara.

He wished that action had brought him more clarity than it did - unfortunately, he was still left to ponder after he had lost his powers.

But then, the young man decided to bury the knowledge of the feelings instead - so hung up on not being able to see spirits anymore that he never wanted to process the more unpleasant bits of his journey through the Soul Society and beyond.

...The substitute had literally all the time in the world now, though - and Aizen as his only companion.

I’m gonna have to figure this one out eventually, won't I?

There was no avoiding it. Not this time.

Why must you be so damn confusing...!?

"Nevermind." He dished out. At this point, he almost had the man looking at him like one would look at someone with questionable sanity.

Oh no, you don't get to give me that look, Mr. I-want-to-be-Soul-King-

Before he could clarify that he indeed didn't mean anything by his sudden outburst, Aizen managed to cut in.

" Whatever it is you wanted to express... I suppose we have far more important matters to attend to." He interjected, still staring at the substitute shinigami with that same as if searching gaze.

"Yeah… Right!"

Damn it.

Strange. It seemed almost as if Kurosaki was trying to hide something - some realization, or maybe an ounce of knowledge…

 ...Well, it wasn't like Aizen could force the substitute shinigami to tell him what was on his mind. That would be rather counterproductive to what they were trying to achieve. 

I presume that if he chooses to, he will tell me. 

What a notion it was - to wait for someone to disclose what was on their mind, instead of taking it for his own using various methods

…Well , one had to sacrifice some time if they wanted to ensure smooth cooperation. He knew that all too well from his time at the Gotei 13. 

Sousuke just hadn't much thought about coming back to his old ways, after having demonstrated his true intentions to his late peers two years ago - the grand reveal, the culmination of all his previous endeavors - in a way, it felt so very liberating to finally show them a glimpse of who he truly was. 

This … he supposed what he was doing now wasn't entirely the same. 

True, it was slightly like looking back at his past days, reminding himself of how to teach another - but Kurosaki already knew… at least some aspects of what sort of a person Aizen was. 

Indeed... 

...How much does he know, I wonder?

The question came to him suddenly - something at the back of his mind prompting him to mull this over-

His train of thought was very swiftly cut as the sound of a Kido incantation resounded across the place. It was the substitute shinigami, trying his luck with the thrust spell yet again. 

"Hadō #1 - Shō!"

This time, the reiatsu was much more focused around Kurosaki's hand. The spell shot out - and whizzed past the former captain, hitting the far away stone wall with a thud .

...When the stirred-up dust settled itself onto the ground, a long, deep crack revealed itself etched into the surface.

"Very good." The Kido was certainly better executed than before - it wasn't a hole that the thrust spell left. 

There was still room for improvement, of course, but the pace at which Ichigo seemed to pick up spellcasting was rather satisfactory , to say the least.

...At his praise, Kurosaki turned to stare at him, most probably looking awkwardly surprised, as he always seemed to be whenever Aizen said something supposedly outside of his usual arrogant persona.

But what greeted the ex-captain was a smile, sent in his direction. 

The man almost let his calm facade slip at the unexpected gesture. 

"Thanks."

What was the substitute shinigami doing? One moment, he acted as though Sousuke was but a remorseless villain not to be trusted - which, he supposed could be one way of describing him - and the next…

How very, very confusing. 

There was one thing he could do in this situation…

...he smiled back.

What are you playing at, Kurosaki Ichigo?

Expecting the substitute to finally flinch, or to show some sort of a negative reaction - to his further turmoil, nothing happened.

So he resigned himself to accept this strange, new development - Kurosaki's sudden friendliness towards him, if he could truly call it that.

...Screw it, but he was so exhausted . 

Ichigo didn't know how long they had been at this - it could have been hours… it could have been days . All he knew was that his eyelids may have as well been made out of concrete at this point. 

All of a sudden, in a moment of light-headedness, he stumbled and almost tripped over his own legs - thankfully, the substitute quickly managed to support himself, leaning on a nearby stone structure.

Come on… not now!

There was so much to do - they only managed to go over five spells as of yet… Even though his body might have had different plans, Ichigo had no intention of letting himself rest - there was no time to waste, for fucks sake! 

...Rukia, as she collapsed on the ground, a puddle of blood forming below her prone form…

He had to hurry. He had to save them-

... Orihime - oh god, Orihime, and Renji - he didn't even know what happened to Chad-

He could feel something in his chest constrict, his breathing coming in more and more ragged gasps- 

Keep your shit together-

Soon enough, the world was spinning everywhere around him, and it felt as if he couldn't get air into his lungs at all. 

The thoughts - the images - kept on piling up, adding fuel to the sudden, raising panic - he didn't know where this came from-

Stop- damn it!

Ichigo could feel something - some moisture, possibly, on his cheek.

Fuck. 

...You'll help them, you fucking idiot, it's going to be like none of this ever happened-!

"Kurosaki?"

The voice momentarily took him out of his fear-induced haze.

"Wha- what?"

There was a pause - maybe a brief moment of consideration...

"You do not look well."

"Yeah… well-"

"Has it occurred to you that you should, maybe - sit down?"

Ichigo felt a hand on his shoulder as if the traitor captain was trying to emphasize his point. 

...He was about to protest-

Then the world spun once again, this time almost throwing him off-balance.

" Okay … yes, I suppose... that is a good idea."

The substitute unceremoniously slid down the wall, to sit at the base of the stone structure. 

Ichigo had no idea he had been this tired. It was like suddenly getting punched in the gut by his own fatigue.

...He could hear shifting - and being distracted trying to keep himself from falling apart, at first, he didn't notice that Aizen also positioned himself on the ground, a few feet away from him. 

It was obvious that the man was looking at him intently. He could almost feel the gaze burn a hole into his skull. 

"Try to even your breathing."

Oh, wow-

...The idea that he was getting advice on calming himself from a person who was once a cause of the majority of his nightmares was somewhere between horrifyingly annoying and funny.

But Ichigo did listen to the ex-captain, trying to take in the air in as regular intervals as he could. 

"I presume that you weren't planning to tell me how you were faring all this time?" His tone wasn't even that accusatory but the question sure as hell was. 

Ichigo fought the urge to sigh.

"You said we needed to do this quickly." It was true. He needed to… he couldn't stay here for long. This place was already giving him the jitters and-

"Indeed. But surely, you understand the importance of rest?"

Another pause. Well, of course, he did. It was just that… 

Breathe. 

...it was… a lot. The awareness that his friends… might not come back if he couldn't do this was slowly setting in, he supposed. 

"Yeah. I do. It's just that-"

Am I seriously going to fucking do this right now?

There was something icy at the pit of his stomach. Cold, heavy - like some impossible weight, rooted deep within him. 

It felt… like it was slowly crushing everything else that there was.

Get your shit together. Now is not the time-

He exhaled, easing the tension a little bit. No , he just fucking couldn't afford to mope right now-

"You know what, I will-

Ichigo was about to say something about getting rest - but the words died on his tongue, as Aizen chose to suddenly interrupt him.

"It is just that, what? What is it, Kurosaki, that you want to say? You keep on cutting yourself off mid-statement."

I-

Well, he wasn't wrong. 

The fact that the man was just now confronting him with that, though…

The look on the substitute's face must've been enough for the traitor captain to rethink his approach to the subject, as the focused, chilly glare the man was sending him was shifted into a more neutral expression. 

"Is it that hard to…"

It seemed almost as if the man was out of words with the way he paused. Which would be normal for anyone else but him. 

It was Ichigo's turn to interrupt him, now. 

"To say it? Yeah… it is."

And… I can't trust you, can I? 

Aizen looked at him, and it appeared almost as if he was trying to look through him. 

...Then his expression shifted - something akin to understanding lighting up. 

"It is wise of you, indeed. To trust me is like to sign one's own death warrant, after all. I see your previous circumstances have taught you something.

"I have expected from you no less. And yet… the way you are about to disclose something only to stop mid-way can be quite frustrating."

Well.

It was quite a recent development. Usually, he appeared less like a mess and more like an actual functioning human being who could stop himself when he didn't want to say something. 

After the death of all his loved ones though! - oh, he was less functioning, and much more like a fucking wreck trying to keep everything together, even though it was all starting to come apart, faster and faster-

At least, Ichigo could appreciate how upfront Aizen was with voicing his displeasure, that talk about trust aside. 

...Yes, he couldn't trust the man, that was a given, something that he established with himself literally seconds after he regained his memories. 

He doesn't even want me to trust him, anyway. 

Which was so strange. Because what was the traitor captain trying to achieve such an approach?

Is he trying to achieve something, or is he just being honest? 

Maybe it was the former, the latter, or maybe it was both-

Maybe I should stop giving myself a headache trying to understand this. 

That was a viable option. Tempting, too. 

And yet… there was some part of him, deep down - some curious fraction that wanted to know just who Aizen was-

...It was a strange, insistent feeling. The lone existence of it made him wonder if he wasn't already losing his mind. 

But - if I don't get him - if we really go back in time-

Aizen was going with him , wasn't he? And to who-knows-when, too. 

"Do your eyes not hurt from staring at the same spot in the sky for so long?"

The question took him off guard, and he almost jumped, having forgotten that the former captain was still sitting on the ground near him, having been too lost in his thoughts. 

Ichigo was very easily distracted now - he was really fucking tired at this point, to be honest. 

I do need rest. Probably a shitload of it at this point.

"No." He wasn't sure where he was going with this. He didn't care much either, anymore. 

How can I sleep peacefully, if the only man with me here is the one person I should trust the least?

Maybe he should just screw it, and be honest. There was probably no need for the amount of carefulness he was applying to his actions and his words. 

...Just like there was no one important to Ichigo that Aizen could hurt if he decided to trust the man against all reason.

They were all dead.