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Tine was acting a little strange. It’s not like Sarawat was actively trying to figure out what was wrong with his boyfriend, but he couldn’t help noticing the little things. He always notices Tine, after all.
So when Sarawat had been seeing Tine moving around their small apartment as if always looking for something, when Tine had been on the phone, immediately dropping the call the moment his boyfriend would walk in the room, when Tine would be going on suspicious grocery trips at 10 PM (Sarawat didn’t even think there were any grocery stores open at that time of night), he knew something was up.
But every midnight, Tine would be in bed and Sarawat would crawl into his space and they would just breathe together, and maybe, everything was fine.
1.
It’s not everyday that Sarawat wakes up to a wave of smells wafting from their kitchen. Blinking his eyes open, the sun nearly blinding him (not as much as Tine’s smile--dammit, can he stop being whipped for one second?), the sleepy boy looked to his right to see the spot next to him empty. Cold, huh.
Tine usually woke up earlier than Sarawat, he knew that much. It was endearing, really, how Tine liked to spend the morning sweeping the floor and making both of them packed lunch if he had time. But today was a Saturday, and they usually slept in, and all he wanted to do right now was hold Tine, bury his face in his neck, maybe sing him a few hushed songs, tell him how beautiful he looks in the morning.
So he got up, padding his way to the kitchen as he rubbed his eyes, still wondering where Tine was.
Sarawat didn’t have to wait long to find out. There he was, humming Deep by Scrubb (of course) softly as he stood at the stove, making what Sarawat immediately knew was green curry.
A burst of love and every giddy feeling he could think of spread through his body, unable to hold back the smile that bloomed on his face. That’s his favorite boy making his favorite dish, that’s the best thing he could have ever woken up to.
“Morning, little buffalo,” Sarawat greeted sleepily, coming up right behind Tine, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s small waist. He sighed contentedly, Tine fits perfectly in his arms.
Huffing, Tine turned his head trying to look at Sarawat, “Ai’Wat, you weren’t supposed to be up for another 30 minutes.”
“You weren’t there when I woke up, I missed you.”
“We see each other everyday and you still miss me?”
“I don’t want to spend a single day where I don’t go to sleep with you and don’t get to wake up next to you.”
Tine chuckled, very much accustomed to Sarawat’s casual sappy lines. Not that he didn’t love every single thing he says.
Stirring the curry in the pot, Tine reached out to the side to get a small spoon, taking some of the sauce and holding it up to Sarawat’s mouth after he blew on it a little, “Taste.”
Sarawat smiled, accepting the spoon in his mouth and making a big show of how much he loved it, “Tastes so good, just like you.”
In hindsight, Sarawat should have expected Tine to elbow him at his side for that comment, catching Tine mutter pervert under his breath.
“I’m serious, Tine, it’s perfect, better than anything from any restaurant.”
“I literally just took the recipe from some Youtube video.”
“It’s not about that, it’s because you put--”
“My love in it, yes, I know,” Sarawat laughed at Tine finishing his sentence, knowing he says that line every time he eats the food Tine cooks for him, never getting tired of it.
Kissing Tine quickly on the cheek, the musician finally pulled away and sat at the dining table so that Tine could finish cooking the green curry, serving them both hefty portions in their ST labeled bowls.
Sarawat watched as Tine moved around the kitchen, listening as he started talking about his past week and his plans for the day. He just loved everything Tine said and did, loved all the quiet Saturday moments together where they did everything and nothing at the same time.
He just loved Tine with every fiber of his being.
2.
“Tine! Have you seen our little dolls? I can’t find them!”
It probably shouldn’t be a big deal. But to Sarawat, it kind of was. Those little Sarawat and Tine dolls symbolized them, knowing just how much Tine would love them when he got them for his birthday. Those dolls got them both through that dreadful experience of being away from each other for 2 whole weeks without any form of communication. And now he couldn’t find them anywhere.
Sarawat wasn’t even sure if Tine was home, quite honestly he knew he was still out for cheerleading practice, but he wasn’t really thinking straight when his dolls were fucking gone.
As if something had tugged on their imaginary red string, the frazzled boy heard the door open and closing, the familiar sound of Tine’s footsteps echoing down the halls, “Wat? Where are you?”
“Tine! Oh great, you’re home,” Sarawat came out of their room, walking up to Tine to give him a distracted kiss hello before walking away in the direction of their couch, pulling out the cushions as if the dolls would be hiding there.
“Uhm, what are you doing?”
“Have you seen tiny us? I can’t find them anywhere I’m half convinced we’ve been robbed.”
At that, Tine let out a loud laugh, slightly startling Sarawat, eyebrows shooting up in confusion, “What? Did I say something funny? I’m not usually funny so…”
“No, no, Wat it’s fine, I brought them with me,” Tine replied, still giggling as he took the dolls out of his bag, setting them on the table nearby.
“Oh. You brought them with you,” Sarawat said dumbfoundedly. But, why would he?
“That’s not all. I kind of, got them a little something else.”
Sarawat didn’t quite understand what was going on, so he kind of just stood there watching Tine rummage through his bag before bringing out two smaller plushies.
Oh. Oh my god.
“I know we’ve been talking about wanting to get pets but obviously we’re both so busy with university and our respective clubs that we may not have time to take care of them properly, not to mention this place doesn’t allow pets, so I was thinking, why not get our dolls pets instead?”
Sarawat could tell Tine was getting a bit more nervous by the second, his voice getting more unsure as he went on. The musician couldn’t help stepping closer to his boyfriend, taking the two tiny plushies in his hands when Tine offered them to him. One of them was a small blonde chihuahua, the other a white and gray cat.
Just like they talked about.
It’s moments like this where Sarawat finds himself in awe of how much more he could fall in love with Tine when he didn’t know he could. It’s these small gestures that Tine does for them both that makes Sarawat’s heart swell with so much love, not knowing what he did to get such a wonderful person to love him back.
Looking up, holding the plushies tight, Sarawat looked Tine straight in the eyes, “Thank you, did you know that you’re everything to me?”
The blush that crept up Tine’s face was the prettiest thing that Sarawat is blessed to be able to see everyday.
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. Come here,” Sarawat put the plushies beside their own dolls before tugging Tine closer to him. He couldn’t help the way he leaned in to capture Tine’s lips in his, pouring out all he wanted to say and more into that kiss.
Thank you, everything you do and everything you are mean everything to me.
3.
Today was rough. Sarawat just wasn’t feeling good all day. One of his guitar strings broke, he barely passed one of his major exams, he was pushed down pretty badly during football practice, and he didn’t get to see Tine all day because he had to leave early to practice for an upcoming cheerleading competition, and they were both equally as busy throughout the whole day.
All in all, it was a pretty shitty day and Sarawat wanted nothing more than to just collapse in bed and sleep for a week.
He groggily entered his apartment, dropped his bags and guitar at his mini music area, grabbed himself a glass of water, and made his way into the bedroom.
And promptly spat out the water he was just drinking.
In his defense, how else was he supposed to act when he sees his boyfriend lying half naked on their bed, a pink ribbon haphazardly tied around his head as he poses goofily, eyes taunting him as if he were Rose asking Jack to draw him like one of his French girls? That’s not a sight he’s used to at all, not that he’s complaining. Tine was buffing up and Sarawat would be lying if he said he didn’t think about licking those abs at least twice a day.
“Well, that’s not the reaction I was expecting at all,” Tine said, shuffling around the bed to sit up properly.
“Uhm, did I miss something? Our anniversary won’t be for another couple of weeks…”
“No, no, that’s not it. It’s just, I was talking to Fong the other day and he casually let it slip that you were planning to tie yourself up in a pink ribbon for my birthday last year. Let’s just say that I was, inspired. ”
“Hey, Man came up with that idea!”
“And you agreed!”
Sarawat groaned in defeat, putting his head in his hands. He could tell the cheerleader was still laughing, standing up to come closer to him.
He wasn’t exaggerating whenever he gushed over how Tine was getting more buff. His arms were bulging, veins running down the length of it, large pecs easily catching Sarawat’s eyes. He was quickly losing his resolve because holy shit he’s hot and he has a ribbon around his head like he’s one big meaty present just for him.
Sarawat was about to grab at Tine’s beautiful chest, as he always does, before Tine caught his hand and pulled him in until there was no space in between them, whispering softly into his ear, “Remember how you scrubbed my back in the shower that one night? I was thinking I would return the favor.”
Fuck, his boyfriend is a menace. A nuisance who wanted to destroy Sarawat from the inside. He’s not going to survive this night, watching as Tine pulled away, giving him one last wink before walking towards their bathroom, hands already starting to undo the top button of his pants, pushing them down along with his boxers before disappearing into the bathroom.
Yup, that’s it, no more holding back. Sarawat got a gift and who is he not to accept it?
4.
“You’ve been getting notifications every half hour, are you not gonna check it?” Earn asked, the little ping of Sarawat’s phone going off again in the middle of their practice.
“It’s just Tine again.”
“That’s odd. Usually you would jump at anything to do with Tine. What’s happening?”
“He’s been posting pictures of me all day on his Instagram. I’m just… not used to it.”
“Oh my god! I’m gonna check!”
Earn excitedly put down her bass in exchange of picking up her phone, tugging Sarawat to sit down beside her, to which he begrudgingly did as she pulled up Tine’s profile on Instagram.
On a normal day, Sarawat would be through the moon knowing how much attention Tine was giving him today out of nowhere, but this was just… a lot to take in.
Tine’s profile was now filled with Sarawat, having posted a picture of him every half hour with a sappy caption. Or an absolutely ridiculous one. Sarawat’s starting to think this is payback for when he used to do just that for Tine.
The biggest flex is being a pretty sleeper. A picture of Sarawat at the most unflattering angle, mouth wide open as he dozed off at their dining table.
We have a catboy, everyone. A picture of Sarawat crouched down at a street, petting a stray kitten.
I’m starting to think he’s only with me for my cooking. A picture of Sarawat mid-chew, soup dribbling down the side of his mouth.
I could get lost in his big bambi eyes any day. A picture of Sarawat looking up at Tine, caught off guard but always attentive when it came to his boyfriend.
You said you fell in love with me because of my smile, but when will you realize I smile because of you? A picture of Sarawat looking fondly at Tine in the middle of Tine laughing.
With you, always. A picture of Sarawat’s hand in Tine’s, the half-picks on their couple bracelets touching delicately, knowing they are two halves of a whole.
“Sarawat, he’s so in love with you,” Sarawat spluttered at Earn’s words, still not used to hearing that very fact being said out loud.
“Uhm, I guess…”
“Oh my god, you’re blushing! You’re so shy, oh this is precious I have to show this to Tine,” Earn squealed, quickly taking a picture of a dumbfounded Sarawat and sending it to his boyfriend before he could protest.
“I’m not shy! I’m just surprised by all this, is all. He rarely posts on his Instagram.”
“Maybe he just wanted to do something special for you today.”
Sarawat began to think, looking back at the past few days. It’s not like the events that had transpired were anything out of the ordinary, though Tine has been acting quite strange if he observed a little too much, but whatever had happened so far was good. The green curry in the morning, the new pet plushies, the shower sex (oh yeah, that was great ), and now all these pictures on Instagram?
Was he missing something?
Whatever it was, he just smiled and picked up his phone, deciding to call Tine to thank him for all the loving posts. And maybe tell him he didn’t need to continue. Maybe he was a bit shy about it, maybe.
5.
“Ai’Wat! Come here! I’ve been learning something!” Tine called out excitedly. Sarawat had just finished holding a late practice for the music club, Tine having waited with him as he packed up after everyone had gone home.
“You have? On the guitar?” Sarawat asked, pleasantly surprised and very much proud of how much Tine has been working so hard, always determined to get better at whatever he does.
“Yes! Come here, sit down,” Tine gestured to the seat in front of his, to which Sarawat sat down and looked expectantly at the overly excited man. His bunny teeth were peaking through, cute.
“You gonna play me something?”
“Yes! Okay, so, originally I was going to finally learn a Desktop Error song for you but it just didn’t feel the same, you know?”
Sarawat chuckled, still endeared at how big of a fan of Scrubb Tine was. After all, their entire relationship together was sprinkled with Scrubb songs, that band seemed to be a part of them now.
“So! Instead I finally mastered Close! I’m going to play it for you now,” Tine was absolutely beaming, knowing full well how difficult the chord progression for this song was. But it meant a lot to them both, being the first song he sang for only Tine, right in front of him in that dimly lit one-room apartment on a messy mattress laid on the floor.
That moment was perfect to Sarawat, and he already knew this moment with Tine singing that same song for him would be perfect too.
Sarawat nodded reassuringly as Tine started to strum the guitar, that soothing light voice starting to sing.
So close that I can't say a word
It's so close that I can't see anyone else
When we're so close that I want to hold my breath
It's so close that there's only you and me today
Maybe it's because we met by accident
Maybe it's because we're together by accident
Because you have never known how it will be
and I have never understood if it were to be like that
If we never talked a word, today no one will understand
That day you have never, and I also have never, known how it will be
then why would we stop?
Sarawat and Tine may have met by accident, the first time when Tine stepped on his foot and he was absolutely gone for that smile, the second time when Tine was running to him only to call him an asshole, when he finally came back to him, and all the times they finally met in the middle.
It may have been an accident, but it was always meant to be.
+1.
Tine had barely talked to Sarawat all day, and Sarawat was kind of losing his mind.
Did he do anything wrong? Was Tine upset at him? That morning, Sarawat had just walked into the kitchen when Tine was already halfway out the door, not even stopping to say goodbye.
Sarawat knew it was his birthday today, what with Man and Boss flooding their group chat with obnoxious birthday greetings, his other friends and acquaintances (including Mil, of all people) greeting him too, and of course the remaining number of girls and guys giving him gifts wherever he went on campus, all of them who still didn’t get the memo that he was in love with someone that wasn’t them.
All of these people greeted him with a happy birthday, but no word from Tine.
It’s not like he was expecting anything from Tine, he would never ask anything of him. Just Tine being with him was enough. But even that wasn’t happening right now, Sarawat thought he was allowed to give himself some slack to worry a bit.
He was worrying a lot.
The whole day, Sarawat’s mind was preoccupied. He tried to tell himself it was because they were both busy. It was a Friday and that meant Tine’s most hectic day of classes, paired with his longest length of cheerleading practice which he led as cheer captain. He’s just busy, it’s okay, he can’t expect Tine to drop everything for Sarawat.
But, somehow it still stung a little. It made him think back to Tine’s birthday last year and that disastrous day, nearly burning down the club rooms in the midst of the both of them arguing over the pettiest thing. He didn’t want a repeat of that. Actually, at least then they were together and they were talking. Now, Tine was nowhere to be found.
Sighing sadly, it was late by the time Sarawat got home, still not having the chance to even talk to Tine all day.
The place was quiet, no sign of Tine. Great, that’s just great.
Sarawat was almost about to cry in frustration when he spotted a small post-it note stuck to their bedroom door.
Meet me at the pool.
Oh. Oh. That’s how this is going. Sarawat let out a laugh, half out of relief and half out of excitement, already knowing that was their special spot.
By the time Sarawat made it to the pool, he spotted the fairy lights surrounding the whole area, filling the space with an ethereal glow. He walked further in and spotted the plushies sitting on the table, all four of them.
He couldn’t stop smiling. He had only ever smiled this much in his lifetime whenever he’s with Tine, because everything he does makes him the happiest man alive.
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, happy birthday,” Sarawat turned around to see Tine walking to him while singing a happy birthday song, a whole cake in his hands decorated with delicate edible flowers in the colors of the rainbow, with a cute “21” candle sat atop it, “happy birthday, my Wat.”
Tine finished the song softly as he was now standing in front of his boyfriend, that same smile Sarawat fell in love with plastered on his face.
“Make a wish,” Tine urged Sarawat excitedly, holding out the cake a bit closer.
I wish I would be enough to make Tine happy for the rest of our lives. The birthday boy blew the candles gently before looking up to meet the eyes of the love of his life.
He’s so, so, perfect to him.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to spend time with you all day. I was quite busy with school and cheer and preparing this for you that I got so caught up in it that I forgot to even just talk to you and kiss you and greet you happy birthday this morning. I hope I can make up for it,” Tine said, tone solemn and apologetic. That was the last thing Sarawat wanted Tine to feel, like he did anything wrong.
“No, no, Tine, it’s okay, all of this is more than enough for me,” Sarawat gently took the cake from Tine’s hands and placed it on a nearby chair, turning back to cup Tine’s face so carefully, knowing he’s holding his whole world in his hands, “this is the best gift I could ever have, you are the best gift I could ever have.”
A single tear escaped Tine’s eyes, to which he chuckled as Sarawat quickly wiped at it, knowing that sometimes he tends to get a little emotional when it came to his boyfriend, “I still have one more gift, though.”
“You do?” Sarawat already thought everything Tine has done, just preparing this whole place with the cake (a step up from the subpar cupcake he got Tine last year) and the lights and himself, was perfect.
“To be honest, for the past few days I’ve been giving you little gifts. I remember you told me last year that you wanted to sing me a song everyday leading up to my birthday but couldn’t, and seeing as I do not have the skill you have to sing multiple songs back to back, I just, kind of did what I could.”
Oh, right, the green curry, the plushies, the shower sex (still great), the Instagram posts, the song, god the song, he did all that for him?
“Tine, you’re absolutely perfect,” Sarawat breathed out, eyes wide in awe and in love.
The boy laughed, shaking his head, “You never stop with the compliments, huh?”
“Never.”
“Well, I’m not done yet.”
It took a moment for Sarawat to realize what was happening. Tine had reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, a velvet one, one that looked suspiciously close to a ring box.
He opened it and oh, yeah. That was a ring, a simple silver band. That was a ring. Wait.
“The look on your face!” Tine guffawed, bending over in laughter, almost dropping the box entirely.
Sarawat couldn’t say a word, kind of just standing there in shock as he allowed Tine to laugh and subsequently calm down, pulling himself together while Sarawat was left wondering what the fuck was going on?
“Okay, okay, I’m good. To clear things up first, I’m not proposing to you, I do think we’re still a bit too young and I know you want to be the one to propose--don’t look at me like that I know you do!” Tine was smiling as he declared all this, eyes shining bright with a thousand stars swimming in them. He was so happy to be with Sarawat, to get to do all this for him. He said time and time again that being in a relationship is about give and take, and he felt that it’s about time he gets to do most of the giving.
“This ring is to symbolize a commitment,” Tine continued, “my commitment to you as a boyfriend, a lover, and a best friend. We may not have had the smoothest of relationships, but what healthy relationship doesn't go through their own fair share of ups and downs? As you grow older one more year, it just made me realize that I want to be there for you for the next year, and the year after that, and all the years of your life. I want to be with you through thick and thin, no matter what, I commit myself to you, Sarawat.”
“Tine,” Sarawat started, his own tears starting to fall. He ran his fingers through Tine’s hair, moving his hand down his face and relishing in how Tine instinctively pressed his cheek closer to Sarawat’s skin, as if their souls were drawn to each other at every point of contact.
It still didn’t feel quite real, knowing how much Tine felt for him. All those years of chasing the boy with the bright smile, wanting nothing more than to find him once more, to how that boy ended up finding him instead, all of it feels like a fairytale. Too good to be true, too good to have happened to an ordinary boy who loved music and made music for the boy he loved.
But it did happen, and Tine is his, and he is Tine’s.
“Sarawat, I love you,” Tine whispered, as if it were a secret just between the two of them.
“I love you too, Tine, so much it overwhelms me sometimes,” Sarawat answered, his mind in a haze of Tine, Tine, Tine as he felt the ring being slipped onto his ring finger, fitting perfectly.
“That ring symbolizes a part of me, Wat, don’t lose it,” Tine warned him jokingly, both boys still absolutely enraptured by the silver against Sarawat’s tan skin.
“I know it’s not your birthday but you best bet I’m getting you a ring tomorrow,” Tine laughed at Sarawat’s determination to always be equal, to always give him back everything he could.
“That better not be for a proposal.”
Tine took Sarawat’s hand in his, fingers tracing over the band, feeling warm all over.
Everything was silent around them. Crickets chirping, the soft sounds of the pool water rippling with the wind blowing slightly, the quietness of their breathing, how they brought their foreheads together and held each other close, eyes fluttering shut, breathing each other in.
“Are you going to kiss me till I drop now?”
“Tine, we were having a moment.”
They both laughed, pulling away to look at each other once more. It felt good knowing those smiles were for each other, knowing they promised to grow old together, grow old waking up each day and going to sleep each night to those sweet smiles, just for them. This was Sarawat’s best birthday ever, and he knew it would only get better.
When their lips met, they both sighed, happy, content. They moved together, a learned push and pull they mastered with all those years spent learning the ins and outs of one another.
Each time they kissed, they both knew they conveyed something unspoken for each other. Emotions somehow too strong yet too fragile and too much to be put into words.
I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow. I love you more than love.