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Sweetpea had spent most of the night drinking as his relationship with Josie McCoy had ended; he knew it was just a summer fling, but it still hurt in a small way.
For a while Josie had been a distraction for Sweetpea, well every girl he'd dated was. Although he'd never admit it out loud, he was in love with someone else: someone who, in his eyes, was too good for him. She was beautiful, funny, smart, and knew Sweetpea better than anyone. Fangs included. So instead of showing his feelings, he hid them; having strings of one-night stands to block her out of his head and heart. Not one ever worked.
Now he found himself drunk, and once again, on the steps of y/n’s home not knowing what he was gonna say when she opened the door.
"Looking for me?", her voice behind made him jump.
Turning to face her, he smiled seeing her lifting up a full bottle of vodka.
"Wanna be my drinking partner?" he shouts; mentally kicking himself for sounding dumb. Why did he always look like a goof around her? He cursed to himself.
You smile back: "Sure", before finding your keys and opening the door.
This wasn't unusual Sweets. often turned up drunk, looking for his favourite drinking partner. This never bothered you before. In fact, you loved being around Sweetpea, loved being the key word. However, it had been clear for years that he saw you as a friend; a good and close friend, but a friend all the same. There had been numerous times when Sweetpea would put an arm around your shoulders calling you his best friend.
You'd learnt to live with him calling you a best friend, to compartmentalise your feelings. For a while it worked. That was until his fling with Josie started. It hurt seeing them together, maybe because it was more than a one-night stand. Maybe he liked her more than he said.
Mid-way through the summer break you found yourself distancing yourself from Sweetpea and others in the group, taking on more shifts at the Wyrm.
"I thought you'd be home by now?" he asked, while getting glasses out of the cupboard. His pouring out two extra-large drinks didn't go unnoticed by you.
"I've been working the night shift this week. I took Hogeye for 100 in pool tonight". You laughed showing off your winnings, before putting them away.
Pea shook his head. "We really should team up in doubles", he joked, while taking a big swig from his glass.
"You know there would no one to give you a challenge if we did", you teased back.
That was the thing: no matter your feelings, you both fell into friends mode, in spite of what was going on in your head.
"I'm a bit surprised to see you. I thought you and the Northside lot were camping?" you asked, sensing something was up, as he had drunk more than half of his glass before you had even started.
He rolled his eyes with a snarl across his lips. "Nar... Josie and I were over, so there's no point being there. Who cares? She was just a bit of fun". To anyone else, this would have sounded convincing, jerky even. Others would have bought the Playboy line, but you could see the hurt in his eyes; most likely the same look from which you spent years hiding.
"She's a fool. You deserve someone real, not some fake Northside diva!" you say, trying to sound supportive, yet not too happy with the news.
He finished the rest of his drink, one last massive mouthful. Squinting his eyes as the alcohol burnt his chest on its way down, he said: "couldn't agree more, but who cares? I'm over her".
He wasn't lying. He was over Josie in a way; annoyed at how she blew him off for sure. The emotional connection was gone.
The topic of Josie was dropped pretty much then. For the next few hours, the pair of you listened to music, having your usual debate over which bands were better. You told him about things at the Wyrm: how you'd started taking on the late shifts, helping Hogeye kick out the drunks who wouldn't leave really could be your new calling in life.
"I would have loved to have seen you chucking out Danny. 'Bet he was fuming... " he said, chuckling, while imagining you push a six feet long Serpent out the bar. "What else 'been happening?" he asked.
"Well, two new girls did their Serpent dance. I'm surprised you missed it", you said, knowing Pea never missed a dance, "Showing support", he'd say in defence. Heck, for your dance he was front row and centre. His intense stare kept you focused, staring back at him while you moved and danced.
He laughed, asking if any were fit, earning an eye-roll from you. He was more drunk than normal, possibly giving him both courage and an excuse for his next comment: "never mind newbies. When are you getting back on that pole?" he asked, with a cheeky wink.
You raised your brows at him but couldn't hide the shade of pink your cheeks started turning. "Coz' I work the bar", you answer, not sure from where his comment came.
He stood up, changing the music to a different song. "Well, you're wasted behind a bar. You're one of the best dancers I know" he said, seductively holding out his hand to you. Again, this was something Sweetpea wouldn't dare do prior, even when drunk. But right now he was using it to fuel his actions he'd denied himself for so long.
You took his hand, unsure what was going on his head. He clumsily tugged you, trying to dance. You almost fall over his giant feet, but he caught you in his arms. For the next hour or so the pair of you danced, laughed, and finished Sweet pea’s bottle of vodka, as well as almost one of your own. You were happy; it was just like old times, minus Fangs and Toni.
Sweetpea had spent the past hour building up the courage to make his move even though he didn't exactly know what that was yet. He poured the last of the alcohol into glasses, watching y/n shake her hips, arms over her head. He watched intently as she turned, showing him a full view of her ass. He bit his lips, watching her move as sway. He was holding on to what little restraint he had to not go over and grab it. He smiled as she turned to face him, her eyes were glassy and bright with a smile to match. The song changed, and to his delight it was a slower, sexier one.
He came over close, putting his hands on your hips, moving with your rhythm. Although he'd done this before, something this time felt different. Maybe it was the way he was staring in to your eyes, or the wolfish smirk, which looked like he was planning something. Or maybe the way it all made you feel. Your heart pound against your chest, your breathing had quickened. Just like putty in his hands.
Sweetpea thought it was now or never. He lifted his hand to your chin, tilting it up as he bent down to capture your lips with his. They were soft, as you always imagined they would be. For a second, you kissed him back, enjoying the thing you had craved for years. His hand, still on your hip, tightened, pulling you closer to him. His kiss deepened when you grabbed his shirt.
You both pulled away. Your mind was hazy with a mix of thoughts running through it at the same time. A few seconds on your head felt like eternity. All your wants here in your hands, yet some rational voice in your head reminded you of his recent break up.
Was this all it was, Sweetpea getting over Josie? Were you his rebound? If so, how will it affect your friendship afterwards? You'd rather not destroy the connection you had, for one night of everything you ever dreamed.
Sweetpea smiled, happy, until he studied your shell-shocked face. He was unable to read whether you liked it or not. A bit worried he moved in for a second kiss, the moment his lips touched he could feel you pushing him away. He took a step, looking confused. "We shouldn't do this", you said, in a low voice.
You saw him tense up, his jaw clenched, as well as his fists. It was only the look in his eyes that showed the sadness he was feeling. "Why?" he asked, through gritted teeth. His tone wasn't angry like he looked.
You swallow hard, partly for not believing what you were saying, wanting to just run back and kiss him again. "You've just split with Josie. I don't want to be your rebound girl. There are enough Southside sluts you can use for that", you say, trying to sound kind in hopes that he'd see your point. "I care about you enough to not let us wreck our friendship like this", you add.
The F-word was like a knife to his chest. You said it, proving his original thoughts, You'd never love him like he loves you. He nodded, not sure what to say, nor trusting his voice not to crack. Turning to finish his drink, he mumbled a weak apology before getting his jacket to leave.
You told him not to leave as he opened the door, but he just gave you a half-smile before walking out. When the door shut, you collapse on the couch, silent tears run down your face as you cradle a cushion. Your heart was screaming, "what have you done?"; your head still trying to think if it was the right thing to do. You went to bed thinking out of all the times you imagined kissing Sweetpea, you'd never imagined it ending with you crying alone.
Sweetpea wasn't feeling much better. He walked out the trailer park, your words running in his head. "Why did I have to kiss her?", he asked himself aloud before punching a beat-up street sign. The first punch felt good, so he hit it again and again until his stamina started to wear. His knuckles were grazed and cut. He opened and closed his fingers, the pain now noticeable. Sinking to the floor, his head in his knees, he finally broke down.
You didn't leave your trailer all of Sunday, not wanting to face the world after the kiss went wrong. However, on Monday, you had to work. Working meant the possibility of running in to Sweetpea. You wanted to see him, but didn't know what to say after pushing him away. The thought of it made you cringe, still regretting your actions.
Outside you can hear the buzz coming from within the bar. Maybe work was a good idea. If it's busy, you won't have time to think. You walked though the door, the first person you saw was him. It didn't help Sweetpea being one of the tallest in there, standing at six-feet three inches.
He saw you walk inside. Turning back to the pool table, he hit his ball with more force than necessary. He looked up seeing you head to the hatch near to bar, dumping your bag. The sounds of Toni's protest made him look back. "I don't know what's wrong with you today, but if you keep hitting balls like that, you're gonna crack one", she moaned.
He didn't answer her, just took his next shot; it was softer than the last, but the sound of the hit was anything but calm. To add more annoyance to his mood, Cheryl had to open her mouth: "Why's he throwing a fit after my girl, Josie, dumped his ass?", in a sassy remark.
Annoyed, he growled: "I'm not throwing anything. It was a summer fling. Summer is over now. I couldn't care that it is over", he yells, unconvincingly. Right now he wasn't bothered what they all thought, as long as they didn't know the truth.
Fangs asked what happened but Sweetpea ignored the question, focusing on the game which he was in the middle of. When he didn't answer, Cheryl took delight in spilling the gossip to Fangs. He tried ignoring them but Cheryl's voice was hard to block out, especially when she said things like: "Josie was slumming it with him. A last bit of fun before New York", and "becoming a star, she had to drop the dead weight". With each comment his knuckles got tighter and tighter around his cue.
You walked over with a tray of drinks Toni had ordered. You asked Hogeye to take it, but he wouldn't. The closer you got, the more you heard Cheryl’s comments, basically saying that he wasn't good enough.
On the best of days you didn't like Cheryl; she's loud, obnoxious, and full of herself. You only tolerated her because of Toni's and Jughead's relationships with her, but right now you were struggling to keep your cool.
You could tell Sweetpea was struggling too, his face was like thunder, his knuckles as white as rocks. You wanted to go and tell him that it's okay, to ignore her, but the way he looked at you made you decide against it. You placed the tray down giving Pea a small smile, but he didn't return it. You wished it were because of Cheryl, but knew deep down it was a knock to your friendship.
"Well I have been telling her all summer that she's better off without him", you heard Cheryl say. That was it, you couldn't take any more of her slating him. You span around to face the venomous redhead. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" you snap.
She looked at you with her faux shook, "excuse moi?" she asked in her fake and bitchy way.
You stepped closer so she couldn't mistake you this time. "You heard me. How dare you come here making out he's not good enough." Your arm shot up, pointing at Sweetpea. "He's the nicest, funniest guy going. Your diva-slut mate wasn't slumming it, he's the realest guy that fake bitch will ever have. If you think she was, what does that say about you and MY girl?" This time you gesture towards Toni who was now walking back from the bathroom, unaware as to why her mate and girlfriend looked like they were about to come to blows.
Sweetpea watched you go off at Cheryl, a mix of happy and hurt, listening to you defend him. The argument in front of him faded as he was lost in his own trail of thoughts, only broken when he saw Cheryl slap y/n. That was after you had shoved her back, hard. He dropped his cue, but before it had even touched the floor, she punched Cheryl back.
Both girls attacked each other. Toni dragged Cheryl away, while Sweetpea took you out back to cool off, mainly because he was the only one strong enough to drag you out the bar and handle the kicks or hits that landed his way; something neither of you were a stranger to, what with the past bar fights and scraps.
You paced outside, a string of insults at Cheryl coming from your mouth. Sweetpea just watched you in silence, not knowing if he should walk back inside or not. He also wanted to know why you went off like that too. Yes, you'd had fights before, never having started one like that though. When you finally finished ranting, he asked "what was all that about?"
"What? She's vile, and after hearing her talk shit about you... like you're nothing, made my blood boil. Plus, it's about time someone gave her a nose job", you shout back, still angry from the small fight. "The bigger question is: why did you just stand there, and let her talk trash about you in your own place?", you ask, folding your arms.
He shrugged his shoulders in reply, "why bother? It's Blossom, she talks trash about everything; not something to get worked up over. Ignoring her hurts her more", he said, hoping you'd buy his excuse.
You didn't. You knew him better: the sly look to the side, the way he slid his hand down the back of his head. His signals. You took a step forward.
"Yeah that might be true, but there is something you're not saying", you point out.
He doesn't look at you, keeping his eyes to the ground he mumbles, "nothing". He goes to turn away back inside, when you grab his arm. He stopped, his body tense, still not turning back to look at you. So instead, you walked in front of him.
When he finally looked at you, the hurt was visible in his eyes; the same look he gave you when he left that night, the same eyes he had when you entered the bar, and when you first brought the drinks over.
"I've known you for as long as I can remember. I know something's wrong, and you'd normally tell me what's on your mind. Now please stop looking at me like I killed your dog", you plead.
"She's right", he says, whispering. Your brows crossed; you couldn't believe your ears. Was he really saying that he believed those things? "what do you mean?", you asked confused.
"Cheryl, that bitch. She's right about me: I'm not good enough! Tell me something that wasn't a lie! I am trailer trash, a worthless gang member; no real money or goals", he shouted back, releasing his pent-up anger he'd held in all night.
You pushed him hard. "Look. Josie thinks she's the next Beyoncé. You don't need a girl like that. You're more than ten times good enough for girls like Josie and Cheryl, for that matter. You deserve someone who see how incredible you are Pea, someone who will love you the way you are", you say, hoping he'd listen and believe you. You meant every word and wanted to show him.
He snorted and rolled his eyes at you. "I couldn't care about Josie; I never had any real feeling for her. She was something to take my mind off someone else. I wasn't good enough for too, so there's no point trying to make me feel better", he stated with a raised voice. By the time he said the first something his tone lowered and wavered.
You wanted to tell him you weren't lying. What you said was how you felt, how you wish you hadn't denied his kiss, and most importantly who the girl was. But none of that came out. The most your brain mustered was: "she's an idiot".
Sweetpea passed you. "Yes you are", he whispered to himself, not realising you'd heard it. You turned around so fast it could have given you whiplash.
"What did you say?", you asked.
Sweetpea froze. He didn't know what to say. He didn't think it could hurt anymore than being rejected, so he decided to tell you, and suffer now rather than let it drag on as it had.
"You! You rejected me. The one person I loved more than anyone. I could deal with being friends for so long, but no matter what, you would be on my mind. I knew you were too good for me, so I tried sleeping with other girls. I started a fling with Josie but none of them made me feel the way you do. I thought, well nothing else worked, so maybe just coming to tell you... but I couldn't see how, so I just kissed you. I was right, I you didn’t want me too.”
He didn't mean to say as much as he did, but once he started, it all just came out. He looked at you, when you didn't speak, seeing a smirk on your face, almost like you were holding in a laugh. "Oh, now you're gonna laugh at me. Reject then laugh"
You put a hand on his chest, shaking your head. "I'd never laugh at you and I'd never reject you because you're not good enough. I did it to protect my own feelings. I couldn't be a rebound. I love you too much for it to be a one-time thing", you say with a smile.
It took a second or two for your words to sink in. His eyes widened "did you just say...?" but never finished.
"I love you, yes" you say for him. "I always have, Pea, but never thought you liked me. Let's face it, I'm no Josie, nor the type you normally go for", you say, hearing how weird it came out.
He brought his face in close to yours, cupping your cheek in his hand. "No, you're better", he said before kissing you. When it ended, Sweetpea smiled. You looked up at him, seeing the joy. "If I do it again, you're not gonna say no this time", he joked.
You shook your head, leaning in for a second kiss, proving to him you would never reject or push him away again. This one was more passionate than the first. He held you close, one hand on your back, the other in your hair. You wrap yours around his neck, tugging on the hair your fingers reach.
When he felt the small pull, he deepened the kiss, his lips moved in sync faster and harder, but with a tenderness too. When he pulled away, you felt a little breathless. "Wanna get out of here?" you say, biting your lip to remember the feel of his.
"Thought you were working?" he asked; giving you a devilish smirk, knowing perfectly well neither of you were going back inside.
"Nar, we can feed Hogeye some line like I needed to calm down after that Blossom bitch. Hooking up with a sexy Serpent was just an added bonus", you giggle. You walked off towards his bike. He slipped his arm around your waist. He couldn't believe his dreams had come true. His only regret? That he'd not said anything sooner.