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Jimmy didn’t know how or when this tradition had begun, but he was here for it.
Every year on the first day of July, Lord Grantham and Lady Grantham insisted on hosting a garden party for a bunch of toffs Jimmy didn’t care enough about to learn their names. But the thing that was so special about this yearly event at Downton Abbey, was that the male staff would be performing all their usual duties topless. That’s right, bare upper bodies for everyone to see. Jimmy didn’t know whether this all started because the Crawleys needed a laugh or they wanted something nice to look at. It was safe to say that they were getting both this year.
Jimmy was excited about not having to wear his livery on such a warm summer day and could instead enjoy the sun on his tan skin, while working. But he was also terrified of seeing Mr Carson without a shirt … there should be an age restriction, Jimmy thought. No man above the age of forty should go topless.
So that morning when Jimmy woke up, he jumped out of bed, put on his trousers and shoes and styled his hair into his usual wave, but left his upper body bare.
Happy with what he saw in the mirror, he strolled out of his room and down to the Servants’ Hall.
Last year, Jimmy had been stuck in bed, his nose running like crazy and his head throbbing with pain. Life as a servant could get so boring and repetitive, and it had been most disappointing to miss that one day of irregularity. But this year, Jimmy was more than ready.
He bit his lip softly, a little excited smile playing on his lips, as he rounded the corner to the Servants’ Hall. But nothing in the world could have prepared him for the sight that met his poor innocent eyes.
Mr Bates was standing near the entrance to the hall, leaning on his cane for support, whilst talking to his wife. But he was, of course, shirtless, his puffy chest and thick chest hair on full display. He shifted his body, as he glanced towards the footman, who was currently frozen to the spot.
‘James-’ Bates started, but hearing his name was enough to pull Jimmy back into reality.
‘Argh!’ He screamed and turned around, staring at the door at the far end of the corridor.
Oh god, who would even allowed Bates to go around without a shirt? He should come with a warning! How revolting! How-
‘What is going on here?’ Carson’s booming voice sounded right before he appeared in the corridor right in front of Jimmy in all his naked glory.
‘Nothin’!’ Jimmy panicked and turned around with such haste, that he almost bumped into Mr Bates’ bare chest.
He let out yet another frightened scream and covered his tearfilled eyes with his hands. Problem solved! Now he didn’t have to look at Mr Bates’ nipples or Mr Carson’s sagging man boobs.
‘Jimmy, what are you doing?’ He heard someone ask. It sounded like Alfred. Jimmy parted his fingers carefully, peeking out from behind them and immediately caught a glimpse of the ginger footman. ‘Oh, Alfred!’ He cried, and grabbed his hand, covering his own eyes completely with his other hand, before he would accidentally get another glimpse of Mr Bates’ hairy shoulders. ‘Lead me to the table.’
‘Why?’ He asked dumbly, as if he hadn’t noticed the wrinkly old men standing right next to them.
‘Just do it!’ Jimmy demanded. His tone must’ve been very serious, because Alfred did as he was told without any further inquiries.
The Butler said something behind him about the youth having no respect for their superiors these days. Jimmy didn’t give a single shit.
Once Alfred had guided him to his usual seat, he retrieved his hand. Jimmy’s eyes fluttered open and he pulled out his chair.
He sat down with a sigh. The worst part was over. He had seen Mr Bates and Mr Carson. Now only the hall boys and Mr Barrow were left. That couldn’t be so bad, surely.
Jimmy turned his head to his left and inspected Alfred. He was very lanky, but of course Jimmy already knew that. His shoulders were covered in freckles and his stomach had a light dusting of ginger hair. It wasn’t much. He was about as hairless as Jimmy himself.
Jimmy pursed his lips and nodded a bit to himself. Alfred wasn’t bad-looking per se, but he wasn’t Jimmy’s type. That is, if Jimmy were even into men. Which he wasn’t. Seeing Alfred without his shirt only confirmed that notion.
It was only when Jimmy glanced away from Alfred that he noticed the man sitting opposite him. Mr Barrow was hiding behind the newspaper in his hands, so that all Jimmy could see was his ebony hair and his eyes. But Mr Barrow must have only been pretending to read, because his eyes didn’t follow the text on the page at all
‘Mornin’, Mr Barrow.’ He greeted with a blinding smile, but Thomas didn’t look at him, when he greeted him back.
Jimmy felt the urge to rip the newspaper out of Thomas’ hands and make him look at him. And he wanted to see Thomas too. He never got to see him without his livery and he was curious. This chance only came once a year, and he wasn’t going to miss it.
Stay calm. He’ll be there all day. I’ll get to see him sooner or later.
Jimmy’s thoughts were then interrupted by Ivy suddenly creeping up behind him. ‘Oh, hey Jimmy, I didn’t see you there.’ She lied, as she looked him up and down, not even trying to be discreet about it.
Jimmy noticed how jealous Alfred seemed to get, when Ivy didn’t as much as glance in his direction. Jimmy smirked up at the kitchen maid and flexed his biceps. ‘Well, now that you do, do you like what you see?’ He grinned.
‘That’s quite enough of that,’ Mr Carson said, waving Ivy off. She scurried away to the kitchen, leaving Jimmy to eat his breakfast, although he found that he didn’t have much appetite left, after having to endure that surprise attack by his superiors.
Don’t look towards the end of the table. Don’t look towards the end of the table. Don’t look towards the end of the table…
‘James?’
Oh god.
‘Yes, Mr Carson?’
‘If you’re going to be like this all day, I suggest you go somewhere quiet and polish all the silver alone.’
Jimmy gaped, still refusing to look directly at the Butler. ‘But I polished it just yesterday!’ He protested.
‘It’s your choice.’ He said simply, letting Jimmy have a moment to pick his next move.
He slowly glanced from the table’s surface, past Mr Carson’s chest and up to his face. ‘I’ll behave.’ He said, trying not to avert eye contact, though he found that he almost had to squint to see past the older man’s bushy brows to even see his eyes.
Mr Carson nodded. ‘Good.’
Jimmy had barely touched his breakfast, when the first bell rang. Mr Carson rose from his chair and the rest of them did the same.
This was his chance! He glanced toward the man standing opposite him. Thomas’ eyes were fixed on the table’s surface and his jaw kept clenching and unclenching
But Jimmy was more distracted by the pale expanse of Thomas’ chest. He noticed how his nipples were the same colour as his lips and how his dark hair covered his chest, but it was nothing like Bates’. Bates’ hair made Jimmy’s skin crawl. What Anna saw in her husband, he did not know...No, Thomas’ was alluring in a way. His gaze wandered further south and settled on his belly.
Oh. My. God.
He swallowed thickly, his face was hot and he needed water. Why was no one else reacting this way? Thomas’ tummy looked so soft. He wondered what it would be like to touch him - purely out of curiosity, of course. Nothing improper.
Jimmy was pulled out of his trance, when Alfred accidentally bumped into him, as he tried to get around his chair. It was then Jimmy realised that Thomas was already gone, along with the rest of the table.
The next time Jimmy got to see the under butler was outside, when he was serving the punch. It was a warm day and the sun shone brightly. Drops of sweat were running down Jimmy’s temples, as he stood by the table, pouring the punch into glasses and handing them out.
It was obvious that the ladies, young as well as old, were stealing glances at him, but he couldn’t be bothered to care really. His eyes were practically glued to Thomas; how he moved in the sunlight. He was sweating too, and in that sweat his skin only became more beautiful.
But, for some reason, Thomas seemed to be moving slower, more carefully, than usual. It looked a bit odd, if Jimmy had to be perfectly honest. He looked uncomfortable and it seemed that he was trying to prevent his stomach from jiggling. Jimmy didn’t see the point in that. Thomas was beautiful just the way he was … anyone could see that, surely?
While Jimmy was watching Thomas walk around with a tray of food the guests could snack on, Alfred came over to the table Jimmy was standing by to refill his own tray.
Jimmy reluctantly tore his eyes from Thomas and looked at Alfred instead. His mouth fell open, when he saw him. ‘Christ, Alfred, look at you!’ He exclaimed, pointing his finger at the other man. His once pale skin was now as red as a lobster.
‘I know- ah!’ Alfred winced in pain, when Jimmy teasingly hit him on the arm to see if his hand would leave a mark. It did, but only for a few seconds. ‘Quit it, Jimmy!’
Jimmy snickered, but quickly had to put on a cool façade, when Lady Edith came over for a glass. He handed it to her and watched, as she went from smiling to frowning in concern.
‘Will you be alright, Alfred?’ She asked, obviously referring to his damaged skin.
But before Alfred even got a chance to open his mouth, Jimmy lifted his hand and patted him on the back. ‘It’s just a sunburn, Milady,’ he smiled politely. ‘He’ll be alright.’ While this was going on, Alfred was trying his best not to wail like an infant in front of Lady Edith.
She glanced between the two footmen and looked like she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. ‘Well, good luck with that then.’ She smiled awkwardly and walked back to the gathering.
Alfred glared at Jimmy. ‘What did you have to go and do that for?’
‘Thought it was funny.’ He shrugged and turned his attention back to the glasses in front of him, but he was being too sloppy with the spoon and accidentally knocked over a glass, its contents spilling everywhere. He threw his head back and groaned in frustration.
‘Hey Jimmy,’ Alfred said.
‘Yes, Alfred?’ Jimmy sighed, whilst trying to use his hands as a cloth to dry the table.
But when Alfred didn’t say anything else, Jimmy lost his patience and looked up at him. ‘Don’t make me slap you again,’ he hissed. ‘What is it?’
Alfred nodded towards the gathering, and in the middle of everything stood Thomas, about ten meters away from them, literally just doing his job. Jimmy raised an eyebrow and was once again about to ask Alfred what it was he wanted to say, but he was faster this time.
‘Mr Barrow‘s let himself go a bit, hasn’t he?’ He said, eyes still on the topless man in the crowd.
‘What?’ Jimmy squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at the older man, as if he hadn’t already been admiring- uh, curiously observing him all day.
‘He’s just noticeably fatter than last year, is all I’m sayin’.’ Alfred stated, simply.
Jimmy watched, as Thomas walked between the upper class men and women. Yes, his chest looked a bit soft and his belly was curving over his belt gently. But he wasn’t fat. A bit plump from Mrs Patmore’s cakes perhaps.
‘Well, I wasn’t there last year, and I don’t think he’s that big, if I’m bein’ honest.’ Jimmy defended his friend, wanting nothing more than for Alfred to leave him alone now.
As if on cue, Carson’s sweaty breasts came into view, giving Jimmy nightmares for life. But he also gave the second footman a look that told him to get a move on. Alfred picked up the tray and hurried away with a last; ‘see you later, Jimmy.’
Jimmy went back to looking at Thomas, when the Butler turned to go attend his beloved employer, Lord Grantham.
But Thomas was looking back at him this time. Their eyes met and they both glanced away. After a moment, Jimmy dared to look at him again, finding that Thomas was now staring off elsewhere. But something was different. His tummy wasn’t curving over his belt anymore…
Oh god, he’s sucking it in. Is he really that insecure?
Jimmy clenched his jaw tight. He needed to show Thomas that there was no reason for him to feel insecure of his body.
He brushed his hair, which was dripping with sweat, out of his face, as he thought of the best way to show Thomas that he was perfect just the way he was.
It was almost ten in the evening, when Jimmy found Thomas exactly where he had expected him to be. The other servants had already gone up after the long day, but the under butler was in the courtyard, taking in the last bit of sun, as he smoked his last cigarette before bed.
Thomas was turned away from the door that Jimmy slowly pushed open. He stood still for only a few moments, admiring, truly admiring Thomas’ broad shoulders and back. He looked strong, yet soft. There was a bit of pudge spilling over either side of his trousers. Jimmy walked closer. Thomas still hadn’t noticed him.
Then, in an attempt to show Thomas that he shouldn’t be ashamed or insecure about his looks, Jimmy wrapped his arms around the taller man’s middle. Though, his hands only got to stay there for a second, before Thomas abruptly pushed his hands away and spun around, his cigarette falling to the ground.
Thomas’ eyes were wide with perplexity, as he looked down at Jimmy. ‘Why’d you do that?’ He asked, folding his arms over his chest and stomach in an attempt to hide behind them.
‘I want to show you that there is nothin’ for you to be ashamed of.’
‘What do you mean?’ He narrowed his eyes.
‘Just tha’ you seemed to carry yourself a little different today.’ Jimmy said, taking a step closer to him. He reached out his hand and put it on Thomas’ right upper arm. ‘Please.’
Thomas was hesitant, but in the end he let his arms fall to his sides, exposing his body to Jimmy.
‘Listen,’ Jimmy spoke softly, ‘you look great… an’ this…’ he tentatively moved his hand from Thomas’ arm to his belly, and started rubbing small circles into it. His cheeks heated up into a blush and it seemed that Thomas’ did too. ‘This suits you.’
He’s so cute and the hair on his stomach feels amazing between my fingers. Wonder what it’d be like to have him pressed against me…
Jimmy glanced up to Thomas’ face and saw that he wasn’t looking at him anymore. He put his left hand on Thomas’ burning cheek and made him turn his head to look at him. His thumb brushed over his high cheekbone. It was sharp, yet his cheek was so soft. They seem to have filled out a bit more lately, Jimmy noticed, now that he had the chance to have a closer look.
‘Thomas?’ He said, urging for the older man to say something.
‘I’m fat, Jimmy.” He murmured, looking beyond embarrassed.
‘You’re not as big as you think you are. You’re just a little podgy.’ Jimmy reassured him. His hands went to the curves of his hips, causing Thomas to clench his jaw tight. ‘An’ I’d still love you even if you were fat. I’d love you at any size, Thomas.’
Their eyes went wide in an instant, both realising what Jimmy had just said.
‘Love?’ Thomas asked. He sounded hopeful, yet so very hesitant. Jimmy couldn’t blame him - not after the way he had treated him for a whole year after the kissing incident.
‘Yeah, I suppose that’s what I said.’ Jimmy refused to take it back, now that it was out in the open. It felt right.
Thomas didn’t move. His eyes welled up as he held back his tears. Jimmy slid his arms around him again and hugged him tight.
He melted into the softness of Thomas’ body and let out a contented sigh. ‘You’re very comfortable, ya know…’ he mumbled into his shoulder. He smelled good. Like, cigarettes, rainbows and Mrs Patmore’s cooking. Jimmy took it all in.
Thomas let out a relieved chuckle and wrapped his strong arms around Jimmy, holding him close to him. Jimmy had never felt so close to anyone his entire life and it was mind boggling just how amazing a simple hug could feel.
But this is not just a simple hug. This is my best friend. A man. That I love. Oh, this is so nice, Thomas, never let go of me, please!
‘I’ve wanted to hold you like this for so long,’ Thomas hummed, his nose buried in Jimmy’s blond hair. There was a pause. ‘Do you really not mind the extra weight?’
‘I like it, Thomas. ‘s very huggable.’
Another pause.
‘Jimmy,’
‘Mhm?’
‘Look at me, please.’
Jimmy lifted his head from Thomas’ shoulder and was met by a pair of soft lips brushing his. Thomas’ lips. It was sweet but over all too soon. Thomas pulled away, gazing down at Jimmy, his mouth slightly open; warm and inviting. This time, Jimmy leaned in and made their lips meet once again. Thomas’ tongue soon pushed past Jimmy’s teeth and started exploring the warmth within.
Thomas took a few steps to his right, pulling Jimmy along with him and pushed him against the wall. He held the back of Jimmy’s skull, as to not accidentally make his head collide with the hard brick wall.
Jimmy was pinned down by Thomas' weight, his tummy squashed between them and his wet tongue performing wonders in Jimmy’s mouth.
The two men let out a series of moans, not caring about being quiet or stealthy. Everyone else had gone up to bed already anyway. It was only him and Thomas. Him and Thomas against the world. No one would ever come between him and his beloved-
‘Jimmy, do you know where I can find the- what the hell!?’
Jimmy’s eyes snapped open and Thomas flew three meters backwards to make distance. No criminal activities going on here, nope, not at all.
Jimmy pushed himself off the wall and turned his attention towards the person in the doorway.
And there stood Alfred, the man with the worst timing in the world. He had so far managed to interrupt every kiss the pair had shared. All two of them.
Alfred was wearing his pajamas, which weren't quite his size. The trouser legs barely reached his ankles and the sleeves only made it a little more than halfway down his unusually long orangutan arms.
‘Do I know where to find what?’ Jimmy asked, desperately pretending nothing was astray. But Alfred wasn’t so easily distracted.
‘Were you two…’
‘No.’ Thomas quickly chimed in, his hands folded over his front once again.
‘But I saw you…’
‘Why did you bloody ask then?’ Jimmy groaned. Thomas came over to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. It helped calming him down a bit.
‘I was only teaching Jimmy how to kiss, you see. Jimmy’s not a very good kisser, but he wanted to impress Ivy.’
‘Oi!’ Jimmy shot the other man a glare.
Alfred shook his head. ‘I don’t believe you.’
Thomas gulped, his grasp on Jimmy’s shoulder tightened. ‘Are you goin’ to tell anyone?’
Alfred rubbed his burnt neck in contemplation. Jimmy reached over his chest and put his hand on Thomas’ hand, which was still on his shoulder and he swore that in that moment, one second lasted an eternity, as they waited for Alfred to speak. He couldn’t believe that his entire future depended on Alfred. Alfred of all people.
Just when Jimmy thought he was going to explode from sheer anticipation, Alfred spoke up. ‘I’m not going to tell.’
‘Why?’ Thomas asked, visibly confused. Jimmy smacked him on his head. ‘Shut up, the man has spoken!’ He hissed, afraid that Alfred might change his mind, if he thought too much about it.
But Alfred merely shrugged. ‘If you two go about doing your thing and it means that I can get Ivy to meself, then I’ll pretend this never happened.’
‘She’s not interested in you, Al- ouch!’ This time, Thomas stepped on Jimmy’s foot to shut his mouth.
‘Thank you, Alfred.’ Thomas said, glancing from the lanky man and down at Jimmy, who was considerably shorter. ‘Yeah, thanks.’ He said, more out of obligation than anything else.
Alfred gave a curt nod and turned around, eager to get back inside and wash his eyes with soap, most likely.
Jimmy turned to face Thomas, when he was absolutely sure Alfred wouldn’t suddenly come back asking for that thing, he couldn’t find.
He wrapped his arms around the taller man’s neck and smirked. ‘Now, where were we?’
Thomas flashed a brilliant smile.
‘I think I remember.’