Chapter Text
Kara watches Lena across the table, her blue eyes trained at the particular dip of Lena's shoulders as it meets her neck. She sighs and decides she’d rather attend to the dirty dishes than stare at the woman for eternity. Lena is talking with Kelly, Alex’s girlfriend. She’s seemingly in an amicable conversation with the other woman, even joking here and there and Kara finds it refreshing. She’s never seen Lena this unburdened in a long time, and she sort of misses her best friend.
This had been the third time Lena had dinner with her and her friends at her flat -- the third time since they had both agreed to try patching things up between them. It had been such an ugly debacle filled with so much heartache and pain that she thought they’d never be able to go back to being friends again, but watching Lena under the warm yellow light of her chandelier tonight, she has more hope than usual.
Alex approaches her slowly, subtly throwing a glance at both Lena and Kelly before heading to the counter to pour herself some wine. “Stare a little more, why don’t you? You might burn holes into her back.”
Kara shakes her head as if trying to shake herself as well. “I’m not staring,” she mutters through gritted teeth but Alex only laughs at her, and somehow, it feels like they’re back to their teenage years again -- Alex almost always succeeding at riling her up despite being sisters through and through at the end of the day.
“Bite me. I totally caught you looking,” Alex grins as she pours herself a second helping of the beverage. Her once-playful expression turns somber and she turns to Kara. “How is it going with her? Are you two now in the clear?”
Kara gives her sister an assuring smile as she starts to load the dishes into the dishwasher. “We’re fine,” she tells her, closing the dishwasher and running it on. “If we aren’t on good terms, she wouldn’t have come here.”
Alex shrugs. “I don’t know,” the redhead says. She contemplatively drinks from her glass. “Seems like it’s just so off for our girl here to forgive you that easy, I mean she’s a Luthor for goodness’ sakes, do you think it has to take more than just an apology to--”
Kara lets out a shaky exhale. “D-don’t do that...please. Don’t say something like that,” she looks pleadingly at her sister, and there’s a quaver in her voice that betrays the sob that tries to escape from her throat. “I just got Lena back and I can’t have you saying things like that.”
Alex sucks in a breath, knowing that she had crossed a line. She nods. “I just want you to be very careful around her. She's a Luthor, after all. And Luthors do not take betrayal so lightly. Why would Lena be any different?” she finally says as she walks back to the couch.
"I did not betray her. I only tried to protect her from my secret and from whatever that knowledge might bring her," Kara says in a hushed tone, but Alex doesn't answer. Instead, the older Danvers is just looking at her with a cold stare. “And that’s very unfair of you to judge her personality based on just her last name.”
Gripping the counter tightly, Kara takes calming breaths. Alex can be tactless sometimes, and on many occasions can even speak out of line, but this time, Alex seems convinced that Lena isn’t trying to patch things up and save their friendship -- and it hurts her.
Kara watches Lena as she laughs along with something Kelly has said.
Could Alex be right? That Lena hasn’t forgiven her mistakes? She is a Luthor, first and foremost. Perhaps, she might not be the friend Kara has known all these years. Lena had been keeping a distance from her as well, but it could just be because Lena is not prone to trusting anyone just yet. They had been through so much and maybe that had changed Lena.
“You alright?” a voice says at her side and it makes Kara jump.
The spoon she’s holding falls onto the floor with a loud clattering noise. She hadn’t noticed Lena making the trip from the living room to the kitchen. She gives an enthusiastic nod to Lena, a bit too enthusiastic to be even real. How had she not noticed her?
“You spaced out,” Lena says. An easy smile is plastered across her face. “You can tell me anything, right? Do you wanna go and take a walk outside?” she offers.
Leaving the two other girls in her apartment Kara leads Lena to the roof of Hammersmith Tower. When their elevator stopped at the top floor, they find out the door to the roof is locked for the night, so they end up standing on the fire escape’s stairwell ledge. The city bustles below them, cars passing by and the traffic in the distance bustling as the city plunges into the night, but here, it’s quiet and there’s a breeze. Hammersmith Tower is not as bright as the downtown places, and here and there, stars peek through the sky.
“The stars are beautiful,” Lena says. “I bet it’s even prettier up top.”
Kara smiles, watching the side of Lena’s face as the two of them lean over the railing. “It is. I didn’t know they locked the doors this early. It used to have a lock that didn’t work. Maybe the maintenance guy finally got around to fixing it.”
Lena laughs a little, and Kara takes note of how that laughter seemed to be so burdened. She stares at the way Lena flips her dark hair behind her shoulders as she looks down the street below, her eyes now veiled with grief that even Kara knows she couldn’t fathom. It confuses her, not even an hour ago, Lena looked so -- unhindered, but now, she looks like she bears the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Lately, she has so much to say to Lena -- and yet, there’s so little to say.
Lately, she just doesn’t know how to act around her. She wishes she’d see more of the old Lena she has known, but then again, she remembers that maybe the Lena now had seen so many things and that Lena had changed too -- and that Lena that had been her best friend had been gone too long already.
Her eyes carry them to the stars once again.
Kara scrunches her brow. It’s faint, like a phantom dream -- a distant memory. Lena looks at her with confused eyes, as though she’s wondering what Kara is thinking. A faint breeze rushes past them, tickling at the tips of her hair. A garbage truck passes in the alley below them, a slow beeping sound coming from it as its orange warning lights flash.
Then, it goes quiet. The sounds of the city are muffled once more. The alley has grown dark.
“It’s quiet,” Kara says, her eyes trained to the night sky. Stars twinkle like dusty specks of silver on a black canvas.
“Well, thank you for stating it, Captain Obvious,” Lena smirks. Her dark, well-sculpted brows scrunch in confusion when Kara shakes her head violently.
"No," Kara disagrees. "That's...that's not what I meant. I don't know, it's just quiet," she looks up to the sky.
"Quiet? Can you elaborate?"
"The stars are quiet," Kara says as she worries her lower lip. She sighs, clearly frustrated at herself for being unable to translate her thoughts comprehensively. "I just think the sky is hushed. Like they're waiting for something to happen. Something dreadful."
"A potential danger to Earth?" Lena asks.
“I think so, but I can’t be so sure,” Kara says softly to her once-best friend as she looks up to the night sky above her. It leaves a weird aftertaste in her tongue, talking about threats to Earth in the open like this. Back then, when she hadn’t found out that Kara is Supergirl, they all just talk about her projects and mundane stuff like a new burger serving from Big Bellys or potstickers.
"Must be a tough job for Supergirl to keep National City safe," Lena says ruefully, her eyes trained to the building on the other side of the street. A young man with his earphones on is drumming silently by his open window, lost in a world of his own.
Kara sighs. "It's not that. I'm just...I just can't figure out what's wrong, but I know something wrong."
"Must be just a feeling," Lena says. "Superheroes can be wrong, too."
Kara smiles, albeit her smile is forced. "You're right. Maybe it’s just a feeling," she says, agreeing to the dark-haired woman, and Lena smiles a little. “Maybe I’m just worrying too much about things. Maybe I’m just overthinking things. It’s just that I haven’t ever felt this feeling before. So, it’s highly...disorienting.”
“It’s weird too, with no overwhelming threat looming over the city,” Lena replies. “Maybe it’s just you being unused to the city being at peace.”
She looks up to the sky again. The stars blink at her like they know something else. She keeps quiet though, as quiet as the stars can get. She hears Lena shuffle closer to her, and she feels Lena’s warm hand in hers. They’re still walking on eggshells around each other, and the physical touch, though not unwelcome, sends a jolt through Kara’s system.
“It’s just a feeling,” Lena tells her again, and she nods.
She wonders if it’s this easy to keep things to one person. Perhaps, it is true then, that the first lie is always going to be the most difficult -- the others just come easier. She feels Lena squeezing her hand tight as an ugly thought surfaces in her mind.
I’ve felt this feeling before. In Krypton, before my planet died.
Lena pours herself her second glass of brandy for the night. Her dinner at Kara’s had gone well, and it had seemed that Kara had started to trust her again. She stares into the glass, peering into the amber liquid. She remembers the other Danvers from dinner and she frowns.
She had overheard the older Danvers warning and berating Kara earlier while she’s conversing with Kelly, and she doesn’t want to make a fuss about it, but she had to be pragmatic if she wants to achieve what she wants. Alex seems to cotton on her hidden intentions.
She's a Luthor, after all. And Luthors do not take betrayal so lightly. Why would Lena be any different?
She swallows down the bitter drink. She winces as the alcohol burns in her throat the way those words burn in her mind. Alex Danvers could prove to be a nuisance -- one that she’ll have to take care of sometime soon enough if she wants her plans to work.
A bitter laugh escapes her throat. “If they’re looking for a Luthor, then they will have a Luthor,” she hisses, and she downs the alcohol. It leaves a burn on her throat, but it’s not enough to match the burn in her heart.
She chances to look up at the sky. The moon hangs low, narrow, and gibbous, a sliver of silver against the midnight blue of the night sky. Kara had been so worried about something happening, but it seems peaceful.
Nevertheless, whatever agitated the Kryptonian had given her the opening to get closer to Kara. It won’t be long now until she’d finally exact revenge and make Kara feel the full extent of pain she had caused. It won’t be long now.
She pours herself her third glass.
The curtain flutters against an odd breeze. She’s not sure, maybe she has the auditory acuity, or perhaps it’s a sixth sense or something else, but she knows Kara’s on her balcony. She doesn’t turn, though. She waits for Kara to step inside her room.
“Lena?” Kara calls, her voice nervous and small -- unsure whether she had stepped over any boundaries that had oddly grown between them since the rift of Kara’s secret tore them apart. “Are you here?”
Lena clears her throat. “In here,” she replies, and she could hear Kara exhale a long, loud sigh. “Is there anything you ever needed?”
She could feel Kara step closer to where she’s standing. “Nothing, Lena. I...I just couldn’t sleep and I thought I’d check in on you. Seems like I’m not the only one being kept up in this city, though.”
Lena fights hard not to roll her eyes. How very sweet of her.
“I couldn’t sleep yet,” Lena tells her, making sure her voice is even and it doesn’t hold any hint of distaste. “You still couldn’t shake the feeling of foreboding since dinner?”
Kara sighs again as she stands next to Lena by the counter. “To be honest? My anxiety is just growing and growing. I just feel like some trouble is brewing somewhere. I’ve flown through National City a couple of times tonight, but nothing feels off. Maybe a robbery or two down the alleyways, but nothing major.”
“Do you think you should go around the world just to check?” Lena quips. She hadn’t meant it as a joke, but it came unbidden. She fights the urge to roll her eyes at herself, and she reminds herself it’s just the old habits kicking in.
Kara seems to seriously consider it anyway. “Maybe I should.”
“You can’t be serious, Kara. I was just kidding.”
“I know,” Kara says. “I just feel like I’m missing something. Anyway, I think I should head out. You better get some sleep as well. It’s late in the night.”
Lena smiles at Kara. “Maybe later. I’m assuming you won’t use the front door?” she had added the subtle shade in her sentence, but Kara is too preoccupied at the slight change of her tone to even comment about it.
She watches as Kara takes to the skies.
“Any time now,” she whispers through her drink. She’s too pleased with herself. If it was another life, she would’ve gotten a scene-stealer award for acting. All the Hollywood girls could suck at how good she’s being at pretending.
It’s been three days and the stars are still hushed.
That morning, Kara watches the sky as the sun rises. Even the big yellow star is even hushed. She squints, trying to see through the harsh beam of light. It’s as though there’s a crackling tension in the air -- like a thread pulled so tight.
Kara worries what happens should the thread unravel.
She turns her eyes back to the city. Jumping off the roof, she starts flying towards the heart of the city. The traffic below her starts slow, but as she goes closer to where the city center is, it starts building up. The rush hour is upon them.
She finally reaches the familiar building that looks just like the thousands that dot within National City’s downtown area. There’s not a lot of employees lounging around yet, and those who are on duty are still those from the night shift. However, Kara already knows Alex is already in the building even in the early hours.
“You didn’t tell me you’d be dropping by,” Alex grumbles as she walks into the bullpen office designated for senior agents. “You could’ve at least bought me coffee.”
Kara snorts. “Please, your office literally smells like coffee. You have a tower of coffee maker in here, what’s the point of having it here if you only want to buy from outside?” she motions to the coffee maker in the corner.
Alex laughs, but her face turns pensive as she carefully watches Kara’s features, as if she’s trying to gauge why Kara’s in the DEO headquarters. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy times being visited by my sister dearest, but why are you here? Is everything okay?”
“I need you to look at something,” Kara finally says.
“What is it?”
Kara leans out, looking at the window and to the sky above them. There’s nothing there save for a few clouds dotting the otherwise blue skyline. “I don’t know. I just have a bad feeling, like something big is happening out there. I just don’t know. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be looking for.”
Alex’s face goes stony. “Do you think it’s an alien?”
Sighing, Kara pulls her hair behind her ears. “I’m not so sure about it, but I want to know. Maybe if the DEO can make a sweep at our extra-orbital areas and maybe at the space around the planet, maybe we’d find out.”
“So you’re just here because you have a hunch something might happen?” Alex says.
“Basically? Yes. I have no idea what it is, and I’ve never been good with gut feelings, but this is just so strong to ignore and people...people are just saying this is just a feeling and it might not be even happeni--,” Kara explains, her hands flying off everywhere until Alex grips her arms and tells her to calm down.
“Listen,” Alex says forcefully as she could. “Listen to me, I’m not saying what you’re saying is not true, okay? I’m not invalidating your worries, but for me to properly forward and initiate investigating procedures, I need more than just your “hunch” to get it going,” Alex says. “We’re just shooting shots in the dark here if this is the case. Do you understand?”
Kara blinks. Alex is right .
If there’s nothing that could prove that her hunch and her intuitions are true, that danger is truly around the corner, so the DEO has no substantial reason to conduct an investigation. Until then, she has to find a way to validate her hunch .
“You’re...you’re right,” she breathes out finally, and Alex lets her shoulders go. She leans on Alex’s table. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push this towards your end, you see. I was just worried and I don’t know, I’m just worried.”
A small smile creeps up to Alex’s face. “It’s kind of weird, isn’t it? It’s been months and there’s no major threat looming above us. It’s kind of disorienting, really. You’re not the only one feeling that, Kara. Everyone in DEO feels it. Talk to Henshaw and he’d go on and on saying it’s like we are in a lull. We ought to feel thankful about it, but it puts everyone on edge.”
Kara looks up at her sister. “I’m sorry.”
Alex, for her part, just leans next to Kara. “It’s alright. Don’t worry too much about it, okay? I’m sure things will be fine. I’ll ask for Henshaw and try to keep as many eyes as I can spare for your request. Does that sound okay to you?”
Kara could only nod.
Maybe everything is just a fluke and she’s just overthinking. Maybe Earth is safe .
She looks up when she hears heels loudly clicking on the floor. Her assistant is taking great strides towards her office, her hair wildly bouncing on her head. Putting her phone down, she quirks a brow at her assistant.
“Jess, you seem flustered,” she says by way of greeting.
“You canceled your one-thirty meeting?” Jess asks. “Mr. Yikuma called me just now demanding why you would cancel a meeting for negotiations, one that would open up opportunities for L-Corp in East Asia, and you cancel it half an hour before it happens?”
“I have already personally explained to him that something important came up,” Lena says to Jess as she picks up her phone which just beeped, indicating that there’s a text message. “If that’s all you needed to tell me you can go now.”
Jess nods and obediently turns on her heel.
“And Jess,” Lena calls her just as she’s about to step out of the Luthor heiress’s office.
“Yes, Miss Luthor?”
Lena leans back on her chair. “When Kara Danvers arrives at reception, show her directly to my private study. She said she'd swing by and bring me lunch.”
“Lena, are you here?” Lena hears her before she sees Kara. The lights are low and the blinds are drawn. She watches as Kara carefully steps across the bare room, with only a few pieces of furniture scattered about. The blonde's heels clicked against the marble floor.
The Luthor heiress’s office is divided into two -- the first room is bigger, with sparse couches where she can entertain guests and business partners. The second portion, her private study, is partitioned from the other room, an alcove where she can entertain her guests in a more secluded setting .
“I'm here,” Lena calls back to her from the alcove of her private study. “Did Jess show you up?”
Kara steps into the alcove, gingerly setting down the three paper bags on the low table at the end of the couch. “Yeah, she did. She had to leave quickly because someone’s calling her about something. I didn’t quite catch on it.”
"This is sweet of you,” Lena raises a brow, a playful smile tugging on the corners of her mouth as she takes in the familiar scent of food emanating from one of the paper bags. “Is this all for me? This seems a bit too much food for one person alone.”
Kara blushes. “Yeah, see that’s the thing. I kind of...want to have lunch with you.”
“Oh,” Lena states, stumped. Of course, Kara would naturally want to do that. So, she smiles and gives Kara a reassuring smile. “Okay. Sure, but I have to clear up my table first because I can’t afford to have potsticker sauce all over this contract I just signed today,” she says with a quip.
Kara bursts out laughing. "We can eat here on the low table."
They’re halfway through their food when Kara decides it’s time to ask Lena for help. So, she puts her chopsticks and folds her hands over her lap. “Lena, there's something I'd like to...ask,” she says hesitantly. “There’s something I want to ask of you. I hope it’s not too much.”
“What is it?”
She inhales as she looks at Lena. She slowly lets it out of her nose. “I need to use one of L-Corp’s sub-orbital surveillance satellites,” she says.
“What for, Kara?” Lena asks too quickly. Before Kara could even answer, a look of understanding passed across her facial features. “It’s what you said a few days ago, isn’t it? The whole thing about stars being quiet.”
Kara shrugs. “It is. I don’t know, I feel like I’ve not been looking enough. Or that I’ve been looking in the wrong direction that’s why I’m not seeing anything. I still have the foreboding feeling, Lena. And it’s not going away.”
“Have you asked DEO to look into this?”
“I have,” Kara answers. “But they’re not going to launch a full-scale investigation let alone a monitoring and surveillance team to look into it because they need substantial evidence to launch such operations.”
Lena’s brow knit in pensive thought. “Even Alex refused?”
“Well, Alex did not outright refuse, but she promised to talk to her director and hope they listen,” Kara tells her as she subtly adjusts her. “She just said she’d look into it. Translated to: I’m not sure if I can help you there, but I'll try and I’d rather you don’t bank on it.”
“Well, but that's terrible. Understandable, yes. It's a wild goose chase, but even then,” Lena says simply. “I’ll let you use some of the surveillance satellites for whatever you’re looking for. Although you have to understand these surveillance satellites are only comparable to DEO, if not better. If you want to look at the stars, there’s NASA.”
“You’re sure about that? You’d let me use your satellites so that I can patrol around?”
“Come on, Kara. You brought me lunch,” she jokes. “Besides, we’re trying to rebuild this friendship and I’m here to support you.”
Kara doesn’t answer. Behind her lead-tinted eyeglasses, Kara could feel the hot tears forming, and she unabashedly let them flow. Lena leans forward, perturbed at the sight of her friend crying, but she doesn’t think twice when she pulls Kara into a hug.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Kara sobs, finally allowing herself to break down into Lena’s arms. “I’m so sorry for keeping everything from you. I only wanted to protect you. I’m sorry I betrayed your trust, I’m sorry I hurt you...”
Lena looks at Kara. Deep down, she could feel it. She could feel her walls slowly crumbling down, being chipped away piece by piece. She swallows the bitter bile of resentment as she reminds herself that she couldn’t forgive betrayal. But here, even in her own body, her eyes betray her too as she could feel the hot tears pooling at the sides of her eyes.
“It’s alright,” she says, a guttural sob tearing through her throat as she gathers Kara in her arms. She loathes to admit it, but she feels lighter when she’s in the proximity of the Kryptonian. She feels something warm bubble against her chest -- shame, anguish, regret.
Gritting her teeth, she tries to tamp it down and she mentally reminds herself to get a grip of herself.
“Kara," she sighs, trying to search through deep blue eyes. "I’m sorry I hurt you, too."
She still needs another person to talk to. So Kara grabs a pizza box at Wally’s, a pack of beer, and starts heading down Fifth Street and Murray. She walks into an apartment complex with red doors and finds the one written with 8C in bold letters. She turns to knock loudly.
When the door opens, Winn is grinning at her.
“Kara! What’s up?” he asks.
“I need your help,” she says as she walks into Winn’s apartment, breaking the pretense that she’s here for pizza and some beer. “I’m pretty sure word’s out at the DEO that I’ve asked Alex to do a sweep at the atmosphere, so I’m gonna cut right to the chase.”
“Wait,” Winn says as he eagerly tears through the pizza and stuffs his mouth with a humongous bite. “Is this the one you asked Alex for? About the stars and stuff being quiet?” he asks, bits and pieces of food flying from his mouth.
“Yes,” Kara says, completely ignoring the fact that Winn just projected a pepperoni bit too close for her comfort. “And I know that without substantial evidence of it being a potential threat, DEO won’t really look at it, so I need you to do something for me.”
Winn swallows the last bit of his pizza slice. He washes it down with a swig of the beer Kara had brought. “Eh, what do you need me for?”
Kara takes a deep breath. “You hacked us into NCPD before,” she says tentatively and the mention of it makes Winn sit still. “Now I need you to hack into something bigger. I need you to hack into NASA.”
“NASA?” Winn echoes. “That’s...that’s a lot.”
“I know. I’ve asked for Lena’s help with surveillance cameras and all that, and I know we might be committing a felony after this, but Winn, I need your help,” she implores him. “I need eyes in the sky where I can see things before they’re coming.”
Kara peers through the screen. There isn’t much there, just static and occasional blips of light. Winn navigates through the black-and-white imagery on the computer, his trained eyes and trained hands moving seamlessly through the controls.
“What exactly are you looking at?” Winn asks and he stuffs himself with Cheetos, brows scrunched as he stares at the screen, looking for something that would alert them to danger. “I mean, this is what NASA looks at all day, I’m not gonna survive a week of boredom. Who wants to look at scratchy monochrome photos?”
“I’m not entirely sure,” Kara pensively says, choosing to ignore Winn’s offhand comment. “Maybe I should go and fly over the planet, just to be sure, right?” she says, just as Winn’s computer crashes again and displays a blank, blue screen for a few seconds before turning off.
“Oh come on!” Winn says in annoyance, slamming his hand on the desk. “Not again.”
“Oh gosh, what’s happened?” Kara mutters worriedly, for Winn is looking pissed as he tries to turn his laptop on again.
“My laptop’s an i5 but it needs more than that sort of processor to handle big information coming from NASA,” Winn states. “I’ve been milking my processors dry just to get that information and now my laptop is fried.”
“So we need a new computer processor?”
Winn shakes his head. “No, not just any other computer processor ,” he tells her. “We need a superprocessor. And there’s only one place other than NASA where we can find a superprocessor with that processing power, and it’s somewhere I don’t really want to go into."
They both know what Winn is talking about, and Kara’s not about to risk going to the DEO and find out they’re taking matters into their own hands.
“We can’t go to DEO and hack NASA through their computers,” Kara says at Winn. "We'll...we'll get found out."
"I'll get found out," Winn sullenly corrects her. “So we need someplace else. And good luck finding that place. Far as I know, only DEO and NASA have computers like this. Maybe the Interpol and FBI but I don’t ever want to go there for the same reason I don’t want to go to the DEO.”
Kara turns to the window, thinking of her options. It’s either they hack into NASA’s facility itself, or into DEO. Chancing to look up to the sky, she busies herself by watching the city skyline. She’s partly jealous that Winn gets the view -- her apartment is literally facing a brick wall.
She never knew Winn had a view of the imposing, tall structure of the L-Corp building and that’s when the idea struck her. She turns to Winn, grinning at him as if she had won the lottery.
“I know a place.”