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“Happy Mother’s Day!”
“Tom.” Here we go again.
“Here, a bouquet for the best mother in the world.” Ooh, big. And… mostly scavenged from the side of the road, I think? Most of those are definitely wildflowers in season.
“Tom, I am five weeks pregnant.” Yeah, that’s happening. I’m fuzzy on the details and not about to ask.
“And I already know you’re going to be the best mother in the world.” He’s always this smooth. I don’t know how he does it.
“And it’s March.” Point, Pretzel Lady. Maddie? I swear that still feels weird. That name doesn’t tell me anything about her.
“I felt like I should practice. So I can make the real deal extra special, this year and every year.”
“And you’ve said that every day this week. But it’s sweet. You’re sweet.” There it is, she’s smiling. Game, set, and match, Donut Lord. They’re so sappy, but in that adorable sort of way where it makes you feel like everything is okay because nobody can be that carefree if there was anything to worry about. Either they’re weird or every sitcom I’ve ever seen is wrong, and TV would never lie to me.
Maybe that’s just me. Is that just—”See, Sonic? You hear that? Maddie said I’m sweet!”—whoops, busted. It was a lot easier to get away with eavesdropping on their every move before they knew I existed and also started living with them in their house. Okay, strictly speaking, I don’t need to spy on them anymore, but what can I say? Old habits die hard.
Alright, play it cool. Saunter into view like you just got back from doing a dozen laps around town and have no idea what he’s talking about. “What? Of course you’re sweet, have you seen the police department’s donut budget? You are half man, half sugar. At 7 AM on a full moon you turn into a weredonut with an insatiable hunger for sprinkles. You are an S on the six letter scale of sweetness, one of those ones that goes F, D, C, B, A, S and I do not know why because none of that is how the alphabet works what were we talking about again?” Aaaand innocent smile. I am a master of subterfuge.
“And here I could swear I saw your ears poking up from behind the couch a minute ago.” I am a master and this man is bluffing.
“Tom, Tom, Tom. Tom. Tom. Wait, the couch thing worked a few weeks ago, am I getting taller? Yessss. Look out, world, here comes Sonic the Tallhog! I’m thinking some sports tape and a bandana for visual flair, what do you think? I saw it in a movie once. Or was it a comic book? Or a… cartoon? Maybe? That’s a thing people actually do, right?”
“I think… I was saying how my beautiful wife is gonna be a great mom. Right, sweetie?”
“Babe, you are completely shameless.”
“I know. Should I stop?”
“Never.” I’m making gagging motions this whole time, just so you know. It’s adorable until they keep doing it.
“You two are the actual worst. Why do I live here? What was I thinking?”
“It beats hiding away all by yourself from the next government wackjob who doesn’t value you as a person like we do?” Wow, okay, mood shift. He reaches out to rub the top of my head, and I let him. “And if I do say so myself… I don’t think we’re doing such a bad job of the mom and dad thing already?”
My heart rate spikes. What?
“I mean, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but I guess you’ve never had anyone to look after you at all before, and I figure this must all still be pretty strange, isn’t—”
“Okay, stop, stop, stop.” I pull away. The room feels so hot suddenly. My body’s screaming run. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, so just… don’t, okay? Don’t talk. Not about that. Or... anything. That sounds good. Don’t talk about anything.” Great, now he’s got that wounded puppy look. Nice going, Sonic.
“Sonic? What’s the matter?” Not you too, Pretzel Lady, I don’t need this, everything was fine a moment ago, why do I feel like I need to run so badly, I was happy, they were happy, why did they make it weird, nothing’s wrong, nothing’s wrong,
“Nothing—nothing’s wrong. I’m fine, I’m… I’m gonna go. Later.”
I run before they can care any more.
Maddie finds me laying on the ground in my old cave an hour later, flipping a ring across my fingers, back and forth. There’s nothing left there but dirt now, but I guess when push comes to shove, it’s still the only place in the world I really feel safe. She doesn’t say anything, she just sits down next to me and waits. Silence is nice sometimes. It’s a mood.
She speaks up after a few minutes. “Um. Sorry about that, back there. Tom didn’t realize he was pushing a button and he feels really bad about it, and I do too. He’s… been so excited about being a dad, and we’d talked a little bit between ourselves about bringing it up with you, but… I guess we were moving too fast, or—”
I flip the ring up in the air and catch it before standing up. “Please, do you know who you’re talking to? Fast is fine. I like fast. Just… I dunno, we’re family, right? Putting a label on it only complicates things.” Flip, catch. Flip, catch. “For what it’s worth, I really do think you’ll be a great mom. You’re super nice, and you think of everything, and you’re great with animals, and… yeah. You’ll be fine. It’s just not us.”
She lets out a deep breath. “Alright. That makes sense. I can work with that. And thanks for the vote of confidence. Tom’s sweet, but it’s nice to hear it from someone else for a change. We were planning to give it another year or two, but… surprise! Life’s been full of those lately.”
“Yeah. Everything’s fine and cozy, just the way you like it, and then boom! Some super cool hedgehog crashes into your life, or some lunatic tries to kill you, or… stuff. Stuff happens, and everything changes.” I can feel the ring pressing into my palm as I squeeze it.
“You wanna talk about… stuff?” Ah, crap.
“Nah. The past is the past, y’know? I’m a ‘live in the present’ kind of guy. Don’t look back, keep running forward, worry about what’s around you, ‘cause you can’t change the past, even if you want to. And all those movies and comic books about guys who can run so fast that they time travel are liars, because I am definitely fast enough if it was really possible, and it’s never worked! Not even once!”
Man, she didn’t even say anything. This is so unfair. Stupid mom powers. Her kid is toast.
I guess… I guess it wouldn’t hurt to talk about it, for once.
“Here. Check this out.” I take the ring I’ve been hanging onto this whole time and flick it into the air in front of us. I know exactly where I want it to go. “I know you’ve never seen anywhere like this before, but for me… this was home.”
The whole cave lights up with the light of day, and Maddie’s jaw literally drops. “It’s... beautiful.”
It really is, just like I remember it. “Green Hill. South Island, not Montana. I dunno if it’s a parallel dimension thing or what, but that’s where all my earliest memories are. Palm trees everywhere, endless waterfalls, loop de loops—oh my gosh you have not lived until you’ve run through a loop de loop, they are nature’s roller coasters. I don’t know what’s wrong with this world that it doesn’t grow them, but it is a global tragedy.”
“And... somewhere in that paradise is where Longclaw found me. I know she couldn’t have been my mom mom, ‘cause I was a hedgehog and she was an owl and I’m pretty sure things don’t work that way, and I just called her Longclaw, but we had each other, and… that was always enough. She’d try to keep me hidden from the dangerous people she said were after me, and I wouldn’t listen and I’d run all over Green Hill over and over, ‘cause to a little kid it felt like it went on forever and there was always something new to see. And then when I was done running, I’d go home and tell her about all the stuff I’d seen while she got a meal ready, and she’d fret over me being out, but like, with a smile, so I never felt like I was doing a bad thing?”
“And at night she’d tuck me in and tell me stories about how much more was out there. About all the worlds that exist on the other side of the rings. Worlds where dreams and nightmares are real, or where all the land in all the world floats in the sky and pirates sail around in airships. One time she told me about one where all the people are tiny monkeys and they roll around in balls all the time, and said it reminded her of me, and I said she was making it up, but she swore it was real, so I guess that’s out there somewhere too.”
“And she told me about the chaotic space that exists between worlds, where everything’s a weird haze of shapes and colors and nothing stays the same for very long, except for the UFOs, and nobody knows why there’s UFOs in the space between space but apparently that’s where they all come from. But what excited me most were the stories about what else was in our world, and on our island. Places it felt like I could actually go, like the ancient lava flooded ruins on the other side of Green Hill, or the underground waterways she said her distant ancestors built underneath the whole island even though I never understood what birds were doing underground. And she said someday she’d take me to the sparkling city by the mountains built by the people of now, where at night, there’s supposed to be so many lights it’s like the stars themselves came down to earth. And it’s got loop de loops.”
Ugh, when did I get all misty eyed? This was all ancient history.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about anything for so long before.” Maddie’s been quiet this whole time. Just... listening, like my dusty old past was the most interesting thing she’d ever heard.
“I know, right? I haven’t referenced a movie or anything in minutes. I must be sick.”
“Homesick, maybe.” She slapped her hand over her mouth after that one, so I wasn’t the only one running without a filter.
“Yeah, maybe. It doesn’t matter, though. We never got to see any of those places together, ‘cause Longclaw was right about dangerous people being after me, and the last time I saw her, she was between me and a bunch of guys with spears, telling me to run and never look back. So I did. And she’s… probably long dead now, and without the person who made it feel like home… eh. What’s left to be homesick over, right? I’ve got you and Tom here now, so… this is home.”
“Oh, Sonic.” I did not see her go from zero to hug, and she definitely isn’t crying and I definitely don’t start either. It was just a nice… family moment.
We stay like that for a while, I dunno how long. Speed-powered time travel isn’t real, but maybe hug-powered time travel is? Someone else’ll have to figure that out.
The ring finally fizzles out and falls to the ground. They never did stay active forever. Maddie picks it up first. “If that isn’t what a mom is,” she says, handing it over, “I don’t know what is. And it sounds like she loved you very much.”
I take it from her and brush the dust off. The rings were from Longclaw, after all. I had to take good care of them. “Yeah. I think you’re right.” I give the ring a long look before putting it away. It’d been a long time since I’d seen that scenery, and I kind of wanted to pull another one out and open the portal again, just to keep looking. Who knows, maybe I’d see something? Or someone.
“You know…” She trails off without saying anything.
“Penny for your thoughts, Pretzel Lady? It’ll have to be your penny, I left my wallet in my other legs. And who uses pennies these days, anyway? Why do they still make those?”
“I was just thinking. You were pretty amazing against Dr. Robotnik, and he had weapons a lot bigger than spears. If you ever wanted to go somewhere, I don’t think anything could stop you.”
Huh.
...Huh.
“That is… a very interesting theory you have there, and I’ll be happy to revisit it at a future date, say, in about a year when you don’t have a kid in you and I can be comfortable knowing everything’s fine here before I think about going on a grand tour of everything ever.”
“I think that sounds good. Then for now, let’s go home instead?”
“Yeah, let’s.” Maddie climbs her way back up, and while she’s doing that, I give the ol’ cave one last look around. It’d been my hidey hole and safe place for so long, but for the first time since I got to this world, it suddenly seemed… small. How had I ever been happy here when there was a great big world just above? There was so much to see!
“You coming? Tom’s all broken up and mopey, and I don’t want to leave him like that any longer than I have to.”
“Right behind you. Hey, so I know I said I didn’t want labels on family, but am I this kid’s big brother or uncle or what? Wait, no, I know—godfather. Dibs on being the kid’s godfather! I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse!”
I’ll stop there, my Marlon Brando impression is terrible.
But my family’s pretty great.
Anyway, Sonic says think about giving your mom a call. Especially if it’s been a while. That’s your moral.