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He marveled at the bundle in his arms.
Small, soft to the touch, warm. Not once did he ever taken his eyes off of it, unable to, as his finger ever so cautiously reached down and pulled the silk aside, the corners of his lips tugging into a smile as his heart swelled at the peaceful sleeping face of the baby. His baby. His son.
There was a slight temptation in his mind that wanted him to call for his Queen, to beckon her to his side to simply admire their tiny little baby, but he quickly swallowed down such thought. She was no doubt exhausted after she had spent an entire day in labor before their son had decided to be born, had endured all the pain that came as a price to bring life into this world while he remained helpless as he could not do anything about it no matter how much he wanted to ease her pain—he would have taken it all for her if he could. She deserved to rest peacefully.
To be honest, he was already putting that rest of hers at risk by doing this.
She had warned him, voice heavy with sleep as she barely able to keep her eyes open, not to wake their son before she had let slumber to completely overtake her.
He should be in bed with her, sleeping or at least watching her sleep, but his eagerness in holding his son was far too strong for him to resist.
“You’re like your dear mother,” he whispered, ever so quietly, as his hand patted the newborn baby gently. “Sleeping so peacefully…” at least when she was sleeping peacefully instead of rolling everywhere, left and right, even off the three-layered beddings, bringing the covers down with her until he was left to curl into himself in his search for warmth.
His Queen, the very woman that he had originally despised and treated wrongfully all because she had been from the Andong Kim clan—the clan that had him tied up with strings and controlled him like a puppet—without him ever attempting to even know her further, had unexpectedly becoming the one that he had now cherished the most, the light in the darkness that was his life, his everything.
Despite everything that was their past, every misunderstanding and every ill-intention, every curse and hatred that they spat toward one another, he was utterly glad that the both of them were able to grow past all of it and becoming better. He would have hated himself for eternity should he had remained blinded by his past feelings, oblivious to how his Queen was different than her clan.
They would not have their son should they have remained hostile to each other.
This child who was loved by those who surrounded him even before he was born, the royal heir of Joseon, the proof of the love that he shared with his Queen.
“Thank you,” he murmured, leaning down to press a gentle kiss over the tuft of black hair on his son’s head. “For being born healthily. To allow me this happiness that I had never known I needed before.”
Perhaps he had been a tad too loud in whispering those words, because as soon as he had finished his baby had wriggled in his hold, brows furrowing before the first traces of cry had bubbled up and broke into a whine of discomfort.
“Hush, my baby.” He soothed, maintaining the gentle patting despite the panic that started to grow within him as he took a quick glance over his shoulder just as his wife shifted in the beddings, though seemingly remained asleep. “We don’t want to wake your dear mother.”
He had read—and was informed as well—of how humming could help in calming down newborn babies, how the low and quiet sound of the parents could assure their child that they were safe and there was nothing they should worry about, thus why he had beginning to hum a tune that came to his mind.
“You spill into my heart like snow,” without even knowing and without adding any pressure, falling gently and slowly, seeping in until his heart was full with the love of a father to his child. “When I close my eyes, I’m afraid you’ll get erased.” Perhaps it was why he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off his son, couldn’t allow himself to think that this was all just a dream, too good to be his reality, and that he could wake up one day to find his dearest little family gone.
Letting out a hiccup, his baby’s eyes had fluttered open as his whine slowly died down, staring right up at him as he gave him a gentle smile, relieved that he was able to soothe him without waking his wife and having to face her wrath of being disturbed. “Yung-Jun,” he began, watching as his son let out a yawn. “I promise to give you everything that you deserve, to build a better Joseon for you to rule over one day, to protect you and your dear mother from any harm that may come your way.”
“Cute.”
His heart had skipped a beat due to the sudden comment coming from behind him, which had him turning around to see his wife lying on her side, seemingly had been watching him interact with their son, grinning at the expression he no doubted had on his face. “My Queen,” he had scolded, quietly, though it seemed to only amused her further. “Please don’t surprise me like that.”
“Sorry, Cheoljong-ie, I couldn’t help it.” She apologized in a held-back chuckle, sharing the same concern as not to startle their baby. She moved to sit up on the beddings, wincing as she did so, yet remaining a headstrong despite his protest for her to go lying back down. “Aish, they really weren’t kidding when they said labor is not easy. It feels like my body was being torn apart.”
Her description was already horrifying enough for him to not try and compare the pain she had gone through with anything that he had, not even being blown up by his own planted bomb, and he could only offer a smile at her, utterly in awed by her strength. “You never crease to amaze me, my Queen. But,” his brows had started to furrow then. “Why are you awake? I thought you were in deep slumber.”
“Oh, uh, I think this is what they called mother’s instinct.” She admitted, though it seemed that she herself had not been completely convinced, hand reaching up to scratch the nape of her neck. “I was asleep, but I heard a whine and I was instantly awake just like that. Anyway, come here,” both of her arms had reached out at his direction. “Give me my baby, I wanna hold him too.”
He was more than happy to pass Yung-Jun into his mother’s arms, seeing how his wife cradled their son in her embrace with such care and love, the way she gently rocked and cooed the newborn as she held him close to her chest, it made his own heart full of warmth and adoration.
Once upon a time, he had only thought of a way to accept his fate of being married to a Kim, but now—looking at this little family they made, he wouldn’t trade that fate for the world.