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When he found out, he pathetically questioned Baekhyun 'why'. And it was Sehun's first regret.
Sehun tried to keep it casual but it was Baekhyun who started to cower from him. Their inbox started to fill with rain checks, the call logs started to lessen and the consoles got put away by their parents. Sehun let that happen and that was his second regret.
Until one day, Sehun had heard from a kind mutual friend, Jongdae, how Baekhyun dropped all their subjects after started getting harassed and bullied. Imagine Sehun’s rage and disbelief upon hearing those. No, he was livid.
Questions flooded his mind. His break was spent thinking and eventually cut the rest of his classes and went straight to the Byun’s to find answers.
Questions were meant to be answered, he believes. Not to multiply. Because what he thought were finally nearing answers had decided to take a flight miles from here.
“Oh dear, I’m really sorry to hear that Baekhyun didn’t inform you. He went to Germany to my sister, said he’ll stay there for his thesis research—hold on. Is there something wrong, Sehunnie?”
How can he tell the elders what’s up when he can’t even understand it himself.
“None, auntie.” he lied.
And want to know what Sehun’s third regret is? He let Baekhyun distance himself but this time, literally.
After a year, Sehun has finally seen Baekhyun.
It was the night of Mr. & Mrs. Park’s wedding anniversary. No one informed him that the Byuns’ youngest was already home days prior and things are really getting into Sehun’s nerves. How did his sweet bestfriend have become this stubborn and complicated?
And to say complicated was an understatement. This Baekhyun now is like another person.
Why , since day one was his question. Why did he distanced himself, dropped his program, left the country.
And change his physical appearance.
Coldness crawls up from his feet to his fingertips on how Baekhyun changed himself. It is like erasing his past life and it is downright terrifying. What if Sehun is already vanished from B life too?
The only thing that somehow eases his tightening chest is how his sweet voice never changes. As it should be.
Baekhyun was animatedly talking with one of his cousins when Sehun decided to put the foot down. Baekhyun felt a presence around him even before his cousin glanced behind him.
“Baekhyun. Can we talk?” It seems like a question but the way he sounds surely isn’t.
Guessing that it's time, Baekhyun plastered a timid smile, gaze casted downward and led the way towards his bedroom.
Though calm he may seem, Baekhyun is stiff as hell and knees are practically shaking. He knew there are so many things to say. Heck, a year ago there were some but now maybe it has evolved to hundred. And all of it is his fault. He is to blame for confessing, for not reaching out, for walking away and most importantly for succumbing to fear and insecurities.
Yeah, he's so stupid.
''Can't you at least start by hugging me now?''
Baekhyun was startled; he immediately turned around to see the wary face of Sehun. He got more handsome but the sadness in his eyes sent piercing pain in Baekhyun's chest.
But he'd finally done what he thought was the best, right? After getting a plastic surgery, he'd come home to finally pursue Sehun thinking he would be somehow worthy for someone as perfect as his bestfriend.
''Just—dammit! I said come here.'' And Sehun strides towards him, pulling him in a bone-crushing embrace. It feels so good to be engulfed in Sehun's warm body and it triggers hot tears.
''I'm really sorry..'' Sehun apologized, mumbling against Baekhyun’s neck.
Baekhyun struggled against the embrace to look at Sehun’s teary eyes. They're so close to falling just like how Baekhyun’s emotion barely keeps from exploding and breaking down at the spot.
''No! Why are you apologizing?! It was all my fault! I left—I leave you even before going abroad. I was here but all I did was to avoid you. I'm really sorry, Sehun...I,'' He's choking in between words, controlling his tears from taking over. ''I was so stupid. Still am...For leaving! For ignoring you, for confess—“
''Shut up!'' Sehun harshly cut him off. ''It's me who should really apologize.'' he said, calmer this time.
''Wha—''
''Listen, whatever happened...it was all my fault. I let you go for god's sake! And leaving...'' And burying his face on Baekhyun's neck again. ''You can't do that! Never again!''
''Yes, I'm sorry. I won't leave again. Especially now, maybe I can be worthy for someone like you.'' Baekhyun mumbled, ashamed.
''What are you saying?''
''I...'' Baekhyun started playing with the collar of Sehun’s dress shirt, avoiding gazes. ''I mean, maybe I am pretty enough to win you now, right?''
Sehun blinked. ''What?...Baek, you changed your face for me?''
“Uhh...”
“That’s ridiculous!” he exclaimed. Baekhyun’s face transformed into hurt and regret.
“Oh god, no wait look. I am sorry,” Sehun sighed and cradled his face between his hands, staring through his rich chocolate eyes. “But this is unnecessary, Baek. It was my fault for not acknowledging you and it’s something that until now I regret not doing, okay? All I wanted was for you to come back home.”
Baekhyun has completely removed his arms around Sehun and it was only Sehun holding him as if not letting him run away again.
With vulnerable eyes, Baekhyun confessed, “I was bullied for my looks because how could a guy like me get all your attention, they say. I was thankful no one else knew how I felt because what if they found out? I would never hear the end of it, Sehun. It was either I become the best or I would have to hope I never confessed to you.”
Pissed and sad, Sehun dragged them towards Baekhyun’s bed. Toeing off their dress shoes and laying them on the bed without breaking his hold.
“What are we doing?” Baekhyun asked.
“Sleeping.”
“Uh-huh. But we’re talking? And there’s a party downstairs?”
“When did you even party?”
Baekhyun slightly gets up from being tucked under Sehun’s chin. “Seriously?” he failed miserably.
After some moments Sehun spoke.
“You really can’t just run away, okay? What difference it would have been if we talked. That’s why now, I’ll be the one courting you.” and tightened his embrace around Baekhyun, expecting a surprised reaction.
“Se—Sehun, let go!” Baekhyun grumbled against Sehun's chest. “Fuckin—I can’t breathe. What the hell! Oh Sehun, what do you mean by that?”
“Please sleep. Your voice is too loud. It’s irritating.”
It’s a big fat lie.
“Just sleep. We’ll talk more soon. For now,”
Let me enjoy having you here because I’ve missed you. It’s been a year.
“Just be your usual gorgeous self and sleep.”
Baekhyun flushed, biting his lower lip to get a grip from his racing heart.
“I’m not.” he mumbled pathetically.
—
When Baekhyun woke up from a deep sleep, the sun was already high. And shit, his mom is probably pissed. Who wouldn’t if their son decided to ditch their anniversary party to sleep all damn night.
And the reason why he slept throughout the party is nowhere to be found. It was too real to be a dream. He’ll reflect later after filling his stomach.
After some stretching, Baekhyun went downstairs to everyone in a rush. What’s up with everybody?
Until he saw luggages on their main living room on his way to the kitchen. Did his aunt arrive?
“Sweetheart, you’re awake. Come, eat your breakfast then we have something to talk about.” his mom said cheerfully.
Baekhyun has the most lovable parents. They have always supported and guided him to what’s best and what makes Baekhyun happy. Even the talk about the plastic surgery was discussed with pure understanding and support.
But the talk his mom had mentioned earlier makes him want to question their love for him for the first time. Because a certain Oh Sehun barged in unannounced (only to Baekhyun) and now his parents are practically throwing him out.
“I am sorry but what the hell?”
“Sweetie, why? You’re 23. Learn to be independent. That's what Sehun has been doing.” his mom reasoned out.
“And you agreed with this because?” Baekhyun faced Sehun who’s munching a hotdog placed on a fork, looking like a baby—wait, focus Baekhyun!
Sehun only shrugged, reaching for a nugget.
“And besides, we heard that you two are finally,” eyebrows wiggling “...dating, huh? My baby boy finally gonna be the baby of Sehunnie!” Mrs. Byun squealed.
Baekhyun choked on his orange juice. “Mom!”
His mom is already kissing Sehun's cheeks while his dad is caressing his back with paternal affection.
“Mom! Dad!”
“Hush now, sweetie. Aigoo, Sehunnie you’re so handsome. You’ll take care of our baby, right?”
“Of course, mom.”
“‘Mom’? Wait, first of all I never want to move out. Second, we are not dat—“
“We aren’t?” Sehun blinked innocently.
It caught Baekhyun off guard. “Oh right, sorry mom. It was a misunderstanding. We are not yet dating cause I’m gonna properly court him first.” Sehun flashed his sweetest smile to Baekhyun’s mom. “...Maybe the moving out can be postpo—“
“That’s nonsense, Sehunnie! Go on, take him already. Don’t court him. Be live in partners.” Mrs. Byun faced Baekhyun, “Work that ass, sweetie. I saw you purchased some good rack there.” acting like checking out his behind.
“Oh my god! Mom! I did not have these done—Christ, why am I saying this. Please, will you listen first.”
“Sorry, darling but some of your stuff is already on their way to his apartment.”
—
“Look, Baekhyun I’m really sorry. It happened so fast after your mom saw me come out of your room. I was explaining but it looks like she just wanted to hear one thing then she jumped all the way into a conclusion. We really don’t have to live in. I was just making fun of you earlier at breakfast.”
They’re now on one of the Byun’s patio finally have Baekhyun’s parents out of their hair.
“But it was true your stuff got sent in the apartment but it’s not like I can’t—“
“We really don’t have to.” Baekhyun said with a serious tone.
“Agreed. We were out of line—“
Baekhyun stood up abruptly and suddenly situated himself on the taller's lap. With rapidly blinking eyes, shocked by his own boldness, Baekhyun said, “We really don’t have to do the courting. We could just go out and...yes, please let’s live together.” Voice fading out at the last few words, watching the flowerbed the whole time.
Sehun froze but eventually tucked his head under his chin, a fond smile on his face. “You sure?” Warm feelings washed over his chest by the thought of having Baekhyun as a lover.
Baekhyun felt the other’s hands rest on his waist, drawing circles using his thumb. Baekhyun only nodded, feeling smaller than before because of the attention he’s getting from Oh Sehun.
Looking down at Baekhyun through their position he swore he could still see his old face and he felt so special because of it. Baekhyun was and still is gorgeous since then, apparently.
Sehun halted his ministration. “Just please promise me you'll stop thinking about being less worthy because that’s utter bullshit. I will show you how loving and cherishing would be like you won’t be able feel unworthy again, baby.” Baekhyun gasped because of the word baby he can barely breathe.
“I’m serious, Baek. You’re gorgeous. Ever since. You just changed your face but I can still see you from then. And it’s like having more of you only for me, right? Now will you let me kiss you?”
They both knew they still had things to discuss but they could always settle when they live together. Especially now he will not let Baekhyun run away anyway. He can only dare.