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I want to go back (but there isn't a back to go to)

Summary:

Peter Parker has to adjust after five years of being dead, May has a new boyfriend that Peter loves, and hates himself for doing so. Tony Stark is recovering, but it's a lot harder than anyone had imagined. These two lean on each other when times get tough, but when they're put against yet another Tough time, can they solve it before it's too late?

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Prologue of Pain

Peter sat at his desk staring out his new window. He longed for the old view, for the old apartment, for his old things. May was outside with her boyfriend. He was nice, really nice, but he was something different, more somethings that had changed. MJ and Ned they went to school with him, thankfully that stayed the same.

His computer screen contained news about the passing of Tony Stark. Only a minuscule amount of people even knew he was alive. Peter being amongst them. He released a heavy sigh going back to writing his essay. He was supposed to write about something that changed him. The snap was a pretty big something. College prep king of sucked.

Senior year had kind of sucked too. A lot of stuff had sucked, he was tired of the different things. He wanted something that had been normal.

“Peter,” May called, Peter could hear rustling around the kitchen. It was date night, just like it had been the night before. He walked out slowly, eyes drifting towards his aunt, who had aged five years. It had felt like 2 seconds for him.

“Yeah May,” Peter said distracted, it felt like he was walking in a haze twenty-four, seven. She looked sympathetic and hesitated slightly hand holding a 20 dollar bill hovering over the counter. May glanced at Derek – her husband – through her side glance. He shrugged and he set the twenty down.

“Order some take-out, I’ll make us a nice dinner tomorrow,” She said quickly looping her arm around Derek’s. He was a larger man, muscular strong, but he had kind eyes, and a soft smile. He was good to May, and to Peter always asking if Peter was okay. Asking if Peter needed help. A month ago they went to a baseball game together and Derek got Peter everything he asked for.

Derek was great, and Peter hated that. He wanted to hate Derek, he wanted to make May kick him out, but he loved Derek, and Peter hated himself even more for that. He glared at the twenty on the counter its worthlessness and went back into his room, slamming the door behind him.

If a tree fell down and no one was there to hear it, did it still make a sound?

0o0o0o0o0o
Tony Stark didn’t get hurt. Tony Stark wasn’t weak, but laying here in this bed, barely able to sit himself up, he felt week. The words of his father haunted his memory.

Stark men are made of Iron

Tony Stark wasn’t made of Iron, but he tried to. Oh lord did he try to. He tried to drown out all the pain and all the sorrow. All the trauma and the loss and the guilt. But in the end he lost and he accepted himself. When he saw his dad in the elevator and his dads eyes that weren’t cold, but happy he felt something. His dad had wanted the best for him. His dad didn’t want to make the same mistakes his father did, and the father before him.

He tried to make Anthony strong. Stronger than he was because Stark men weren’t made of iron. They were made of pain and abuse, but Tony broke that cycle. He broke it when he met a 14-year-old from Queens, New York. A 14-year-old who had been through more loss’s than even tony had at that age. That 14-year-old had used his power for good, even after all the loss.

That 14-year-old had become Tony’s son within 2 years, and then had left for 5 years, and Tony had Morgan. Morgan, who was a new ray of sun, but he never forgot that 14 year old from Queens.