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And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
-Somewhere Only We Know by Keane
It was Gray’s obsession with fulfilling his promise to his father that had brought him to Alvarez. He’d wanted to find Zeref, and that goddamned book of E.N.D. It had been a stupid idea; he realized that now. But he’d been grieving, and he’d never expected Natsu to track him down.
He’d never expected a lot of things.
Natsu had tried to convince him to return home, but Gray had been too stubborn to listen, and he’d recognized that despite his protests, Natsu had wanted to fight Zeref as well. After all, there’d never been an enemy they couldn’t defeat once they put their shit aside and set their minds to it, and if they died trying- well, he doubted either of them would regret it.
They’d decided they would fight together to make that bastard pay for everything he’d done. For the lives he and his followers had taken with his magic, for the demons he’d created, who had caused so much suffering and destruction. And in doing so, they would protect their Fairy Tail family and prevent any additional bloodshed.
Their combined might hadn’t been enough to take down Zeref, and the one thing Gray might have been able to do to stop him was the one thing he’d promised Natsu he’d never do.
He should have done it anyway.
If he had, they would never have been captured.
He would never have learned who Natsu was.
Never would have said those hateful words he didn’t mean.
Never would have seen the light fade from Natsu’s eyes as he accepted the truth of it.
Gray had let his rage consume him at Zeref’s revelations, and he’d hurt the one person he’d always loved. He’d really fucked up this time.
They were all but helpless now. Their minds and bodies locked by Invel’s spell, their magic contained by sealing cuffs. No way to struggle, nothing to do but live inside their heads while they waited to see what would happen to them.
How were they going to make it out of this one when no one knew where they were?
It couldn’t end like this, not after everything they’d been through together. There had to be a way out, they just needed to figure out what that was, and soon. But first, Gray needed to make Natsu listen to him so that he could take his words back and beg for his forgiveness.
But the words wouldn’t come, no matter how much he tried.
Hours passed in uneasy silence until a lacrima lit up the inside of their cell, broadcasting its feed in vivid color and sound. The screen showed other prisoners, robbed of their dignity and forced to perform sexual acts. They seemed barely human. Used, abused, and reduced to nothing but toys.
It didn’t matter how much Gray tried to look away or willed his eyes closed; they remained riveted to that screen, even as the sounds and images made his stomach wrangle up in disgust.
The message was obvious: their punishment had yet to begin.
Soon that would be them.
Gray didn’t much care what happened to him, but the thought of anyone but him touching Natsu that way was enough to make his blood boil. They belonged to each other and no one else. That was how it had always been.
After what seemed like forever, the lacrima finally turned off, revealing Natsu’s strangled cries as he tried to break through the collar using brute force.
“Stop it!” Gray pleaded, “You’re only hurting yourself.”
Natsu stopped his efforts, but he still refused to look at him.
Guilt crushed Gray even more than the thought of what the future had in store for them. All these years had passed, and he hadn’t learned a goddamn thing. Just like when he’d gone after Deliora as a child, convinced that he was strong enough to defeat him, he had underestimated his enemy’s power. Ur had paid the price then, and now both he and Natsu would suffer a fate worse than death for his folly.
“This is all my fault,” Gray strained against the spell, stretching his arm enough so that his fingers grazed Natsu’s hand. “I won’t let them touch you.”
He stopped short of making a promise, but he could feel his eyes burn with rage at his impotence.
“Maybe, uhm... maybe if I agree to join him, Zeref will let you go.”
Natsu had finally spoken, but his words were not what Gray had wanted to hear. What was the idiot thinking? Like he’d ever let that happen.
Gray couldn't care less that Zeref had been waiting for Natsu for hundreds of years, or that it had been his brotherly love that had brought Natsu back to life. His heart might have been in the right place once, but it had become corrupted over the years as his mind deteriorated. A life by Zeref’s side would be a nightmare for Natsu, forced to become the demon that Igneel had tried so hard to protect him from. Gray would never allow that outcome, certainly not for his sake.
“No! Besides, we both know I’d never leave without you.”
“Then you’re an idiot.” Natsu declared, turning away to stare at the wall. “Because there’s nothing here worth saving.”
“Don’t you dare say that! You know I didn’t mean any of the shit I said.”
“No. You were right. I’m E.N.D, Gray. A Book of Zeref, no different from Deliora or Mard Geer. You even came here to kill me.“
Gray sighed, realizing there was no easy fix to what he’d done. It was going to take them a long time to get through this. Time they didn’t have.
“None of that matters now. You saw that lacrima. Who knows how long we’ll be able to stay us. I don’t want to waste any of it arguing about things we can’t do anything about.”
“I’m sorry.”
Gray could hear the tremble in Natsu’s voice and it broke his heart. Why was this happening now?
“You don’t have to apologize to me, Natsu. None of this is your fault, it’s his. All you’ve ever done is help others.”
He grabbed Natsu’s hand in his and pulled with all his might until he could wrap his arms around his boyfriend, the chain from their collars dangling between them. “I’m so sorry I got you into this,” Gray murmured into Natsu’s ear as he ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair.
“Sealing cuffs didn’t work on those Tartaros demons since they used curses. Do you feel anything like that at all? Anything that can help break your collar?”
Natsu shook his head, looking defeated for the first time since Gray had known him.
“Oh well, it was worth a shot,” Gray shrugged, acting like he wasn’t giving the matter any importance, for Natsu’s sake.
“Just promise me you won’t do what you said before. Whatever happens, I want to stay with you.”
“I don’t want... that to happen to you.”
“I don't want that to happen to you, either.”
They lay down on one of the cots in their cell, clinging to each other tightly. Gray refused to let go, fully aware that things could change at any moment. He reveled in Natsu’s warmth, letting his fingers travel Natsu’s skin, trying to soothe away the hurt his words had caused. Over and over, Gray reminded Natsu of how good he was, how much he loved him, and how he’d rather die than live without him. But Natsu remained eerily silent. It worried him.
Gray!
Gray heard a voice calling out to him, waking him up from the little sleep he’d managed, but it was too faint for him to recognize who it belonged to. Natsu was still snuggled up against him as he slept. Listening to his snores made Gray smile. He could almost pretend they were back home, their capture nothing more than a nightmare he’d finally woken from.
He opened his eyes to find that although nothing had changed in their cell, that voice still called out to him. It felt closer this time.
Gray!
Was that Ultear? How?
“Ultear?” He called out to her, even though he realized there was no way she could be there.
But against all of his expectations, Ultear appeared before him a moment later, looking as young as she had at Akane Beach months earlier.
“Good, you heard me. I had a hard time locking on to you.”
“How did you- I saw you, you were...”
“Old?” Ultear laughed, “I was. I cast a spell during the Dragon King Festival, thinking I could turn back time and fix everything, but it didn’t quite turn out that way. Even though it used up all my life force, I could only get one minute back.”
“You saved me.”
“Yes, and thanks to that I can do this now.”
“You mean you can get us out of here?”
Ultear moved closer until Gray thought she was going to touch the bars of their cell. Her expression became apologetic when her body went straight through them.
“I’m not really here, not in the way you think. I exist only as a concept within a time distortion. I can’t get you out, but I can offer you an escape.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You and Natsu, you’ve both died and were brought back to life through magical interference. Because of that, you’re technically living outside of time.”
“Ultear?” Natsu sat up, rubbing his eyes, “Why can’t I smell you?”
“Not now, Natsu,” Gray peered at Ultear, “You said you can offer us an escape, what did you mean?”
“I can take your souls with me. You would escape the horrible future that awaits you and exist as I do, and you’d be together.”
“So we’d die?” Natsu frowned.
“Not exactly,” Ultear shook her head. “Your souls would pass on, leaving your bodies behind. They’ll still suffer your fate, but you won't experience any of it. You must decide quickly, they’ll come for you in about one minute.”
“I don’t care if we die, we both have once already,” Gray said resolutely, his mind inevitably going back to the images of molestation on the lacrima, once again thinking that would soon be their daily fare. “At least this way, we can stay together. Or would you rather live out your remaining days as a slave for those sick perverts?”
“Of course not! I just wanted to underst- wait a minute... When the hell did you die?”
“Boys!” Ultear snapped, her tone reminding Gray of Ur whenever she tried to break up fights between him and Lyon.
He’d never see him again, or Erza, or any of their other friends. But odds were they wouldn’t have, anyway. From the sad look on Natsu’s face, Gray could tell he was having similar thoughts.
“What do you say, Flame Brain? You ready to spend eternity with me?”
“Yeah, it wasn’t like I could get rid of you, anyway,” Natsu joked weakly, a small smile breaking through his grief.
The sound of footsteps approaching their cell grew louder, and Gray snuck in one last kiss.
“Grab hold of my hands and don’t let go of each other,” Ultear offered each of them a hand and they grabbed on, clasping each other’s hands tightly. There was no pain, although they felt a slight tearing sensation when their souls separated from their bodies and entered the time dimension.
Neither of them looked back.
It saddened Gray that Ultear had needed to come to his rescue once again, but he was grateful. At least this time, no one had died to save him.
Ultear tried to explain the rules of the time dimension to them, but they didn’t really get them. It was hard to understand what was real, but they didn’t worry about it much. It was just somewhere only they knew. A place that existed just for them, where they could bicker, laugh, and love each other for as long as time existed.
They discovered they could visit just about any place they remembered, but their favorite spot was still the river by the old Fairy Tail building. It held so many memories for them, and they spent countless days sparring and coming up with endless competitions. The dumber the better.
They had earned that much.
Sometimes Gray worried that Ultear’s rescue had all been a dream, a place he escaped to to avoid what was happening to his and Natsu’s bodies. He thought if that were true; it was a kindness he shouldn't question.
Either way, it didn’t matter. They had their magic, and they had each other. That was all they could ever ask for.
