Chapter Text
Microphone feedback sounded through all of the speakers, loud and shrill. A voice followed it, calm but obviously seething with rage.
“Scout, please come to my Smoking Room,” A pause, “ Now. ” Spy cleared his throat and backed away from the microphone, rubbing out a kink in his pinstriped suit. He pulled a cigarette out of its metal container and snapped it shut impatiently. Lighting it smoothly, he placed it in between his lips and took a much needed breath of smoke. He glanced at a bottle of red wine on the table next to his chair and shook his head.
“Pas maintenant. [Not now.]” He fixed himself on his chair and spun, facing the door.
Soon enough, rapping echoed through the room. Spy looked up, calling,
“What?” The door creaked open, and Scout stuck his head through. He looked worried, eyes wide. He didn’t dare step through into his smoking room after that threat on the speakers.
“Just come in, would you? Not like I bite,” He smirked, flipping the butterfly knife through his fingers. “Well, maybe sometimes,” He said through a huff of smoke. Scout pushed the door and stepped in, leaving it open.
“Y-You needed me, Spy?” Scout adjusted his hat, and then his dogtags, clearing his throat awkwardly. Spy nodded.
“Oui. I believe you have something of mine.” He waved in the general direction of the wall, in which stood a big display case holding wine glasses, whiskey glasses, the like. “Two are missing.” He stood, pulling the cigarette from his mouth, tapping ash on the table. Scout smiled, tugging on his collar.
“And you think I had anything to do wit’ it? Nah, ask Medic...or something.” He turned, ready to bolt out the door. Spy’s gloved hand latched onto the back of Scout’s neck, and he let out a sort of choked cry.
“You’re too sloppy, Scout. Way too sloppy.” He pulled Scout back into the room. “Only a fool would come here and take glasses out of my case, and you’re the most foolish of them all. Confess.” Scout writhed in Spy’s grip.
“Alright! Alright, already, I took ‘em! Wanted to have a fancy date or somethin’ wit’ Miss Pauling. Thought I could pull it off,” He replied sheepishly. “Honest.” Scout’s shoulders sunk.
“And? Where are they now?” Spy let go of Scout and looked down on him. Scout rubbed the back of his neck, smiling. “Well ah, Miss Pauling declined,” He laughed to himself, “And I got upset. Maybe did some table flipping...or something.” Scout looked to his shoes and laughed a little more, still rubbing his neck. Spy’s eyes widened in surprise.
“So you broke them. You broke my expensive wine glasses,” He said solidly. Scout nodded.
“Sure did, haha.” He smiled at Spy, but Spy did not return the favor. “Get out of my face.” Spy said, pulling another cigarette out and lighting it. As Scout turned, Spy opened his mouth. “And Scout?” He said, smoke rising from his mouth. “Go fuck yourself.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Scout said, scuttling away from Spy’s smoking room.
Spy retreated to his chair, sitting and smoking. A tuft of pure, white fur poked out from behind the table. Spy looked down at the table.
“Août? Est-ce vous? [August? Is that you?]” He called. A meow rang from below the table, and a white, fluffy cat with bright orange eyes peeked out. Spy gasped in delight.
“Août! Mon joli minou, viens ici. [August! My pretty kitty, come here.]” He leaned down and scooped up the cat, cradling her in his arms. He smiled at her and stroked her fur in silence. Nobody had really known about his cat, he kept her a secret from the rest of the Mercs. She was an outlet for Spy, someone to talk to, even if she couldn’t talk back.
August rubbed her head into Spy’s palm, gathering fur on his glove. He smirked and puffed out smoke, being careful to aim it away from her snow white fur. She purred, suddenly crying out and jumping off of his lap. Spy kept his arms still, now holding nothing but air. He looked down at her as she shoved her body under his chair.
“Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas? [What’s wrong?]” Spy questioned, leaning down. He almost jumped in fear after hearing a stifled snort at his door. He reached for his knife and stood.
“Scout, I told you to leave,” He turned and faced Scout in the doorway, face red with laughter. He burst out laughing, doubling over.
“You have a CAT!” He wheezed, putting his hand up. “And you baby talk to it!!” Scout pursed his lips and badly mimicked the cooing Spy did to August. Spy gripped his knife in fury as he stomped over and pointed the knife right at Scout’s throat.
“I did no such thing, leave!” He said, angrily. He wasn’t even flustered, well, maybe a bit embarrassed, but he didn’t show it. He pushed Scout hard with one hand and before he was out of the door frame he slammed the door on Scout’s leg.
“Ow, what the hell, man? I was just jokin’, c’mon!” Scout tried to pull his leg from the door. “Lemme go, I’ll leave you alone, really.” He snorted a little with laughter, and Spy pushed on the door harder.
“I’ll let you go once your leg is severed and on my carpet.” Spy said through gritted teeth, pressing his body against the thick, oak door. Scout protested.
“You’re a real funny guy, y’know that? Haha! See? I’m laughin’! Please let me go, man, c’mon, not like I was gonna tell nobody!” Spy eased on the door, standing straight but keeping his hand pressed against the wood. Spy finagled his leg out and ran, his footsteps bounding through the hall.
Spy sighed once more and shut the door fully, locking it this time. “J'aurais aimé ne jamais avoir d'enfants. [I wish I never had kids.]”
~~~~~~
Scout ran down the hall, hand on his hat as he bounded towards Engineer's workshop. He burst through the door and nearly crashed into a pile of prototypes. He put his hands on Engineer’s table and forced himself upright.
“You’re NEVER gonna believe what I saw.” He looked up at Medic and Engineer, both staring at him quite disinterested. Medic put down a clipboard and looked at Scout.
“Well get on with it zen, ja?” Medic sighed, placing a pencil behind his ear. Engineer continued screwing in a screw, not looking up at Scout.
Scout’s laughter bubbled up before he could even speak. By the time he could, he was already out of breath. “Spy’s got a cat! He- hu...He has a cat! And he baby talks to it in French! Can you believe?” He looked up at them excitedly, deflating a little when they didn’t give him much of a reaction. Engineer’s head poked up a little, though.
“A cat, you say?” He paused in thought. “That’s a little of a surprise.” He smiled to himself as he adjusted his goggles. Engineer couldn't help but imagine Spy baby talking to a cat. Cute. Medic tightened his glove in curiosity.
“Who do you think would let me implant that cat’s uterus in zem? Maybe Soldier.” He nodded to Engineer. “I’ll help you with zis later.” He walked off, heels clicking on the tile floor. Engineer sighed and finally put down his work.
“I was gettin’ tired of it, anyway.” Engineer eyed Scout. “What’d he even want you for, anyhow?” He questioned him. Scout’s cheeks flushed a little.
“Well, it’s a funny story, you see-”
“Nah, don’t bother. I can just guess.” He chuckled. “I’m gon’ go warn Spy about Medic. You…” He looked at Scout, and Scout smiled toothily. “Don’t do anythin’ too stupid.” Scout gave him a lazy thumbs up and leaned down on the table.
Engineer pulled down his goggles so they were situated around his neck as he headed for Spy’s Smoking Room. When he reached it, he gently knocked on the door.
“Fuck off,” Spy murmred, which Engineer only heard muffled. Engineer smiled to himself.
“Spy? It’s Engineer. Gotta talk with you about somethin.” After a few moments, he heard a click and the door slid open a crack. Spy elegantly leaned against the frame, his lanky looked down at Engineer.
“Oui?” He said. He had a cigarette in his mouth, and he took it out, fixing it between his fingers as he eyed Engineer. Engineer, however, was sort of at a loss for words. He had never really looked at Spy this close. In fact, he had never really had a conversation with him alone. Against his will, a small flush found its way to Engineer’s cheeks.
Spy’s hands looked large but delicate, and his grey and blue eyes stared at Engineer curiously. His lips were slightly parted, and stubble surrounded his mouth. His red tinted mask hid most of his features, but Engineer could make out a beauty mark right below his left eye. Spy obviously cocked an eyebrow.
With a little less patience, he went again, “ Oui?” he tapped his finger against the cigarette. Engineer jumped, laughing.
“Sorry ‘bout that, anyway,” He paused and backed up a little. Spy backed into his room.
“Come in,” Spy said nonchalantly. He waved his arm to let Engineer pass through, and he did so.
“Thanks, uhm, so, as I was sayin’, I heard you’ve got a cat, and-” Spy cut him off. “Quoi? From whom did you hear this.” His nostrils flared as he exhaled smoke, looking at Engineer expectantly. Engineer held his breath as he waved smoke away from his face.
“Scout came and told Medic and I, but that’s not-” Spy cut him off, yet again. “That rat. I’ll bash his head in with his own bat.” He seethed, crushing the cigarette with his fists. Engineer cleared his throat.
“That’s not what I’m here for, Spy. Medic wants your cat for...her uterus? Maybe he was jokin’, but you never know with him, right? So I just wanted to give you that there information.” He smiled. “I’ll let you get your revenge on Scout in yer own time.” He turned to walk away, but Spy held onto his shoulder.
“Merci, Engineer. Août means a lot to me.” Spy let him go, but Engineer paused.
“No problem.” He paused heavily at Spy’s doorway. “Yknow, if you want to do somethin’ to Scout to put him in ‘is place, you come let me know. I’ll come up with some sorta’ contraption.” Engineer winked at Spy and quickly retreated to his Workshop, cheeks heavily blushed. He put his hands to his face.
“Why the hell did I wink?” He asked himself, closing the door to his empty workshop.
Meanwhile, Spy’s hand was in the air, still suspended where Engineer’s shoulder was positioned. His mouth was parted, and his lips curled into a smile.
“I’ll think about it,” He said, replying to the air.