Work Text:
"Do you understand what I'm saying, Joey?"
Joey giggled in place, shaking his head no. Chandler, hands on his hips, neck craning towards his roommate with bloodshot eyes, caused Joey to drop his lackadaisical attitude. He nodded with enthusiasm. Chandler sighed, taking a seat on the counter. "What am I going to do?"
"About what?"
"Her! What am I going to do about her?! She's so--" he gestured above his head, as if to say higher level, "--and I'm so--" he gestured to his ankle.
"Chandler-- no. You're not there! You're at least--" Joey gestured to his waist. "Here! You don't gotta be scared. She's so cool and funny!" Chandler nervously twiddled his fingers. "And fun. Really good at foosball, too. Loves pizza and stuff, absolute bonus" he chuckled, "Nice, but not too nice. Straightforward, but not hurt your feelings straightforward. Plus, she's smart! You love smart. There's absolutely no reason to worry about it. If you tell her, she'll shrug it off. That's if... she didn't like you back! Aha?" Fists clenched, Joey did a little dance moving from side to side, then thrusted a hand to his friend. Chandler gave him an incredulous look before groaning, giving in to the fist bump.
"Maybe you're right. Maybe I am over reacting. I mean, it's not like I'll never ever find a girl like her ever again and if I mess this up I ruin my greatest shot at romance and I grow old surrounded by moldy vinyl records and recline chairs." He patted the dust off of his blue sweater, dress pants held together by a sleek, brown belt. "I'll ask her out. Hopefully. I have to at least try. I could never sleep if I didn't even think about it."
"That's the spi--" A series of knocks broke through the door.
"Joey? Joey, you there?"
Chandler felt his heart rate quicken a thousand paces. The sound of your voice sent his senses into overdrive.
"Ohhh, I forgot to tell you she was coming over. She wanted to talk about girl stuff." Joey explained. This didn't help ease his roommate one bit.
"WHAT?! " Chandler yelled, whispering. The door turned. Thinking fast, Chandler jumped off the counter and beelined for the bathroom. You let yourself into the place, looking like you'd been in the middle of sleep before getting here.
"He-hey," Joey greeted with arms wide open, "[Y/N]!"
You hugged him tightly, burying your face in his chest. "I can't, Joey. I really, really like him and I really, really think he hates me or something."
Joey gasped. Chandler, intrigued, eavesdropped through the door slightly ajar. "Why would you say that? Nobody could hate you! Well, maybe Monica, but still." He led you to the couch, then went to grab you a glass of water.
"He's so much more sarcastic around me than you guys. Did I do something wrong? Augh, Joe-ey, he's the last person I want to hate me," you vented, fixing your hair. Chandler's heart sank to his stomach. Turns out you already had your sights on someone else. Of course you did. "He's so everything. Witty, cute, dorky, funny-- Joey, he's here--" You measured to a height far above you, "--and I'm here," you measured to your ankle.
"You know, you keep talkin' to me about this guy. I don't think you've even told me who he was." He handed you the glass.
You furrowed your eyebrows and downed the drink, confused. "I thought it was obvious. I see him, like, all the time."
Joey sidled up next to you on the couch, nursing his own water. "Wait, don't tell me..." he thought about it hard. A little too hard. "Ross."
"What? I'd rather drink a raw egg with a straw." The offhand remark got a smirk out of the man in the bathroom. "Chandler! Chandler Bing. Only the cutest man I've ever known in my life."
You sighed dreamily, causing the one in question to nearly choke. "Chandler? All this time, you've been talkin' 'bout Chandler?!" Joey exclaimed, spitting out remnants of water. "I thought we were talkin' about some James Bond kinda guy the way you talked about him!"
"What? I like Chandler! That's the problem! I really, really like Chandler and I don't think he likes me at all!"
Chandler leaned closer to the door. Was I really that mean? I have got to stop using sarcasm to calm my nerves. I've got too many of them! Eager to hear your explanation, he'd forgotten the bathroom was four walks from the living room. He stumbled forward, splaying to the ground. Joey shot up to block your view of him. "You know what'll get your mind off Chandler? Some foosball. You love foosball!"
"What's happening with the bathroom?" You questioned, trying to look past him.
"Chandler's, uh, been killing to fix the toilet. I've dropped 2 of his toothbrushes in there and uhh... it's not doing so hot!"
He eyed Joey's back, shocked. You could tell there was something the actor wasn't telling you. "I have to use the bathroom."
"Use Monica's."
"No, I can just pee in the shower."
Chandler picked himself up from the ground. "I insist. Monica's bathroom is way bigger than ours anyway."
A portion of hair flicked upwards behind Joey. Curious, you nudged him out of the way only to be greeted by the object of you fangirl-isms: Chandler Bing. With his cute, dorky face and cute dorky outfit. Joey turned his head to look at both of you. Both of you turned your heads to look at Joey. "What's that Monica? You dropped Rachel's toothbrush in the toilet too? For the third time? I'm coming to help!"
He rushed out of the room faster than you realized what this meant.
You decided to cut through the silence. "There's absolutely no way you couldn't have heard a single word I said back there."
"Yeah. Well, uhm..." He scratched the back of his neck, looking at anywhere in the room except you.
"I'll... be leaving now--"
"I don't hate you. I... I really, really don't." He managed to puke the words right out. He seemed to be going through a rollercoaster of emotions, smiling, looking surprised, then looking confused.
You pursed your lips inwards. "Good. That's good."
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way."
You smirked, quip already formulated in your head. "Which one? That you hated me or that I'd chop an arm off just to find out how good of a kisser you are?"
You delivered it with such a straight face and a flat tone, Chandler's mouth hung open. Again, he looked around the room. Only this time, he locked eyes with you for a split second, then looked away as fast. His face flushed a deep red. You've embarrassed the poor guy. "Sorry. I don't know what I was--"
"Do you want to find out?"
It was your turn to flush. That was... smooth. Charming, even. It only meant one thing. "Chandler... you like me? Like, like-like me?"
"Is the WENUS published once a week?"
You bit your lip, looking him straight in the eyes. Despite his slowed breathing and demeanour much too relaxed for a man from the bathroom, you broke into a fit of laughter. "Weenis."
He blinked. "I think I'm in love with you."
"So... are we... dating? Or are you... am I..."
"Yeah. Um, I think... yeah, I think-- d-do you want to be... uh--"
"Boyfriend and girlfriend?"
"I like that, yeah. Has a great ring to it. Definitely sounds better than 'my more than a friend."
"Alright, more than a friend. Wanna grab some brunch? Haven't ate."
Chandler grabbed his wallet from the living room table. "You get haunted by the ghost of lunches past?"
"Last lunch broke up with me cause I got obsessed with breakfast. Speaking of, café stops brunch in 20 minutes."
"Oh no. We better hurry up if we want to catch hotdogs at 1pm." The sarcasm laid thick. There's that man you crushed on.
You opened the apartment door, only to hear three grunts from outside. All trying to seem inconspicuous, Monica, Rachel, and Joey muttered to themselves. Chandler followed you out the door, having a more appalled reaction.
"Oh hi, Chandler and [Y/N]." Rachel cooed. "We were just talking about regular adult things. Like laundry. Isn't that right, Mon?" She clasped her hands together.
You snaked an arm around Chandler's shoulders. Monica gave Rachel a side eye. "Like we always do, silly. Actually, we're going to do them right now. You guys enjoy brunch."
Joey elbowed her side. You thanked them and went on your way with your new boyfriend.