Chapter Text
“Would you like to know what we were doing in the woods?” DeVere asked waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Audrey while moving closer to her.
“Certainly not!” Audrey snapped, although she could hardly feign disgust and aloof disinterest in a matter that had been preoccupying her ever since she had heard about it. Thus, her curiosity soon got the better of her and she almost immediately added “What?"
“Come on, I’ll show you.” DeVere eagerly grabbed hold of Audrey's hand and began leading her away. Their fingers instinctually intertwined between their clasped hands. Adrenaline coursed through Audrey’s body despite their only minimal physical contact. Under any other circumstances, Audrey felt sure she would not have allowed herself to be led away by a man she hadn’t known very long and been far more wary of a man’s advances toward her in such a manner. She finally regained her senses but her mind was still preoccupied with what she was allowing to happen causing her to take on an overly posh accent and exclaim
“I insist I return to my guests!” in a higher than usual register of her voice, caused by her nerves. Even Audrey had to concede it didn’t sound the least bit convincing. Perhaps, deep down she hadn’t really wanted it to. She very half heartedly pulled away from Richard to rather quietly call out
“Help!”
This caused Richard to pull her closer to him than he had all evening, or perhaps ever. Their bodies were now in far closer proximity than propriety would dictate. Audrey’s mind raced, her heart beating faster, unable to settle on one thought, let alone one course of action. First, she reasoned there was nothing about being led off into the woods by a rather attractive man at dusk, in the middle of a party that aligned with the sort of etiquette she’d been taught growing up so how close they were had little bearing on the situation. Her increased heart rate said otherwise, as did the growing desire she had to remain exactly where she was; in DeVere’s strong arms. Then again, she considered it was up to the man to make the advances, not the lady. The part of her that wished to remain in DeVere’s embrace approved of that. The more rational part of her countered, not these sort of advances though! It was the unexpectedness of the physical contact and closeness, she thought. It must be. There are too many reasons why nothing can happen between us. I am only feeling this because I’ve been taken by surprise. Nothing more, but her heart rate did not slow.
In the same moment DeVere became acutely aware of the closeness of their bodies. It wasn’t that he had meant to bring her so near him but he couldn’t deny the thrill it held for him. Even in the low light he could see individual mascara coated eyelashes standing out from Audrey’s grey-blue eyes. Aware of their surroundings, he withdrew a little, taking half a step back to berate her
“Be quiet!”
“Somebody might see us!” Audrey turned around to check nobody had noticed her absence; they hadn’t, yet. Audrey tried to sound affronted but DeVere noticed the slight smile that played at the corner of her mouth. She noticed him notice, and tried to bite her lip to hide it.
"Ssshhh!” Richard hushed, pulling her away from the potentially prying eyes of the party-goers at the Lodge. “If you don’t want anyone to see us then you need to keep quiet!” Then added more gently,
“Please”.
Richard’s enthusiasm to show her whatever it was that he and Marjory had been doing led Audrey to suspect it probably wasn’t as improper or vulgar as she had originally suspected. Then again, Richard was a man and Audrey held a certain amount of mistrust for men, particularly the married ones. However that did not explain the heightened thrill she felt from being led away into the woods like this. Perhaps it was due to the fact she had spent most of the past week indoors with practically no interaction with anyone. Audrey’s improper excitement reminded her of the way she felt at school as a misbehaving teenage girl. She hated whatever it was about Richard that could create such reactions in her. It was so difficult to pinpoint. All Audrey knew for certain was that she had never felt so reckless around anyone else before in her life and part of her was thrilled by it. A long suppressed part of her even desired it.
Something had definitely shifted between the pair since Richard had visited Audrey the night of the Hunt Ball. Her irritation had dissipated the moment he’d presented her with the ‘surprise’ bouquet of flowers and she had absolutely gone to pieces once they started dancing together on her terrace. The setting was bereft of nearly everything she was used to for a dance, yet she had enjoyed it more than she had any others shared during her marriage to Marton and even for some years before it.
However, Audrey’s feelings toward DeVere had begun to shift even earlier, when she dined at the manor the night the clocks went forward. With alcohol running through her veins, fewer people about and Richard being ever more charming and attentive to her, Audrey found herself feeling considerably less indisposed toward him. Perhaps she had even felt somewhat charmed, particularly when he had walked her home, his arm subtly around her waist. He had supported her weight should she trip in her high heels and long dress while they had talked idly about everything and nothing. He was (though she loathed to admit it) getting rather good at distracting her from whatever she was doing.
Richard led her on, offering his arm to balance her while Audrey stepped down over a protruding tree root. She took his arm gratefully and leaned on it slightly more than was necessary, revelling in the closeness it brought, even if it was just for a moment. She could definitely get used to this. Then she mentally should herself. No, it must be due to her lack of physical contact with anyone for a week, she reasoned. There couldn’t be anything more, there just couldn’t. Furthermore, Audrey had hardly been one to seek physical affection even during her marriage, especially during her marriage she noted grimly. It must have showed on her face as Richard squeezed her hand minutely tighter and looked into her eyes searching them, a look of slight concern evident in his features. Audrey smiled back in response, silently reassuring him before whispering
“Thank you.” as Richard pulled away once again.
As soon as they were out of eye and earshot of the congregation they stopped. Richard paused to examine his surroundings. It was encouraging to see him taking more of an interest in the grounds in and around the Manor, Audrey mused.
“Where are we going?” Audrey demanded of him trying to gain some semblance of authority and control over him and her own thoughts.
“This way.” Richard answered confidently, his expression reflecting it. He was smiling and looked slightly smug, Audrey decided she didn’t like it one bit.
“I must say, if whatever you and Marjory have been up to here has meant you’ve gained a better sense of direction and understanding of the grounds, I don’t suppose was an entirely terrible pursuit,” Audrey quipped filling the silence that had fallen between them, “even if it was trespassing and potentially improper” she added.
“My sense of direction has always been good and I don’t need you to tell me so.” Richard grumbled, ignoring her latter remark. Despite Marjoy assurances it wasn’t trespassing he couldn’t be sure and more importantly had vowed that tonight he wasn’t going to give Audrey the opportunity to get the better of him, if he could help it. Yet she had managed to get under his skin. What was more, he could tell by Audrey’s tell tale little smirk that she knew she had.
“Perhaps, but your knowledge of the estate has been lacking.” Audrey countered but this time, he was ready for her.
“I don’t see you knowing your way around this area particularly well-” Audrey opened her mouth to argue but DeVere pressed on before she had a chance to interrupt- “Marjory certainly does though.” He leaned closer as he replied, noting Audrey’s eyes narrowing and lips pursing fractionally as she glared at him. Richard’s reaction was to look more noticeably smug than previously.
The next time that Richard helped Audrey down a particularly steep section, she made sure to be less reliant on him. This, as it turned out, was difficult in heels but she managed. Albeit not as gracefully as she would have liked. Audrey’s concentration was on her feet in order to ensure she did not trip over, while inwardly cursing her footwear and didn’t realise that Richard had stopped walking until she nearly stumbled into the back of him. She was practically talking to his ear when she asked
“Well?” with a slight edge to her tone.
Richard recognised the familiar clearing up ahead and knew that they had arrived but saw no sign of the badgers for the moment. As they had so few moments truly alone together, he wanted to make the most of this. He squeezed Audrey’s hand again, leaned closer to her still and whispered
“You really do look absolutely stunning tonight Audrey. If I didn’t know otherwise, I really would have thought you had been on that holiday,” as if afraid someone else might hear them despite being in the middle of the Woods.
He hoped he had judged this right and she wouldn’t be cross at him for saying so. The smile that lit up her face confirmed his hopes.
It was terribly intimate, Audrey thought, for him to be whispering when there was clearly nobody around. She leaned into him as he had done and mimicked his whispering,
“Thank you, Richard” she replied before stepping back and laughing at the ridiculousness of their predicament and what she had just done. Richard chuckled too at seeing Audrey’s display of joy, noting the delightful way her nose crinkled when she laughed. After their laughter subsided they stood in silence holding hands. Richard keenly watched the clearing for signs of badgers while Audrey watched on rather confused. She couldn’t work him out. One moment he was observing her closely and laughing with her, the next he seemed so distant and focused on some invisible phenomenon up ahead. Somewhat absentmindedly she began moving the thumb of her intertwined hand to stroke Richard’s. He looked up at her almost immediately and when his eyes found hers, searching for some sort of meaning, Audrey felt herself almost blush and said the first unrelated thing that came to mind.Cursing herself for letting go and allowing the gesture.
“Richard, why didn't you go somewhere on holiday? Well, I mean… you could have gone anywhere you chose to but you stayed here.” Richard smiled his eyes never leaving hers before answering,
“I couldn’t think of a pleasanter place to spend it than here.” Audrey scrutinised his expression attempting to uncover any hint of insincerity but she could find no trace of it.
“Really?”
“Really.”
She saw the sincerity in his expression, the care in his eyes and that damned twinkle. He really could be so easy to get along with when he said things like that… and so handsome too.
Until that moment Audrey did not realise the extent to which being alone with Richard was the reprieve she needed. It really did take up a lot of energy to keep up appearances (literally as well this time) and small talk at parties, particularly when one was lying. It really kept Audrey on her toes, particularly when conversation had turned to the lady that Brabinger had been entertaining in her ‘absence’. It was liberating to be speaking words other than the well-rehearsed holiday stories. This morning she had wondered if she remembered how to speak other words. The fact Audrey didn’t really have a contingency plan in place to keep him from revealing her holiday on the “Costa del Grantleigh” as he’d put it, now that she too was following him into the Woods and the way she felt when he looked into her eyes with such intent was pushed to the back of her mind. Away from the Manor, the Lodge and everyone else, perhaps things could be more neutral between them.
“You know, I think in a way, staying here was one of the best holidays I’ve had,” Audrey reflected.
“Really, but why?"
“I didn’t have to waste time making small talk, exchanging pleasantries and contact details of people I didn’t like and will probably never speak to or hear from again. After this week, I am truly tired of reciting the same rehearsed phrases.” she laughed and Richard joined in.
“Why on Earth would you bother with all that? You’re supposed to get away from it all!”
Audrey shrugged, “etiquette and tradition I suppose… One gets used to it.”
“Goodness knows I can see that. Did you ever actually get to relax on your holidays then?” Richard inquired.
“Yes… In a way...From time to time, but that’s not really what holidays are about around here. It’s not about relaxing so much as a change of scenery in which you behave as you would in any polite society,” she explained. “Yes, you’re away from your duties around the Manor but certainly not from expectations. All the right sort of people holiday in the same sorts of places. As you would have noticed, it doesn’t matter whether or not you go on holiday, so long as you’re seen to have taken one. It’s a social rite of passage, so to speak. You come back with a tan and some amusing stories to tell and invite people over to show off about it.” Audrey finished. Richard chuckled to himself.
“What’s so funny?” Audrey asked with genuine curiosity.
“Oh just this idea of appearances in some cases being more important than reality or actions. It’s something my mother places in high esteem too.” Richard explained.
“She’s quite right to. Reputation is very important around here.”
“You would say that. You’ve got a lot in common with her, Audrey.”
“Such as?”
“She also didn’t understand why I chose to stay here for my holidays.”
“I still don’t really understand why. You say you like it here and so I do but that never stopped me from going abroad.”
“No, tradition and maintaining the status quo made you go abroad. I don’t have to live by that as strictly as you, as much as you may prefer that I did.” He nodded toward her knowingly, “I’ve still got so much to learn about this place. I want you to know Audrey, that I didn’t buy Grantleigh only to go swanning off to Spain and France. The English countryside is beautiful and while I may not know as much about it or the Estate as you, I really do appreciate it. I think that you, of all people, must understand what I mean. It really is ever so beautiful here Audrey, I know you think so too.” He stared at her longingly and she held his gaze with a challenging look in her eye as if to dare him to look away first. Whether out of respect or embarrassment, he did.
In all her years at Grantleigh, while Audrey was aware of the beauty that surrounded her, she wondered if perhaps she had taken advantage of it somewhat. Before Marton’s death she had never considered the possibility that one day she mightn’t be Lady of the Manor, nor that one day she might have to leave it all behind. Certainly, she’d seen the decline of the aristocracy and noble families in Manor houses but she’d never honestly believed it could possibly happen to her, especially once she’d married Marton. Yet being with Richard now; seeing and hearing how he admired Grantleigh, it made Audrey appreciate it anew. She was grateful that she was still able to appreciate it, if not in the way she once had from the Manor, nor in the way she would prefer. It was undoubtedly better than the alternative, which was too unbearable to consider. Now, hers was a new appreciation of the Estate that had come about because of Richard’s care for it which she could never have imagined a few months ago. Part of her wanted to be appalled that anything positive could come out of Richard being here but if he hadn’t, perhaps she would have continued to take advantage of it and remain somewhat ignorant, never truly appreciating it all.
“Did you really not enjoy your holidays back then?” Richard asked, cutting through her thoughts. She thought for a moment,
“It’s difficult to say. I see now I took it all for granted but back then it was different, I was-” she paused, lost in thoughts and memories before continuing- “For the first few days I did enjoy myself but the novelty wore thin rather quickly and the company never really changed or was particularly stimulating. In the end I would always end up bored and wishing I was back home.”
“Company?” Richard inquired.
“My late husband mainly.”
“Oh of course, I see.” Richard tried his best to sound as if he understood. He recalled the last time Audrey had spoken of her husband and how she had revealed the less than successful nature of their marriage to him. Richard wished he could say or do something that would demonstrate his understanding and support in the matter but the fact was that he was at a loss as to how to do so. Instead he opted for looking knowingly at Audrey but the effect was that he looked rather stunned. Audrey smiled, trying to suppress a laugh. At least he had amused her, Audrey's smile was always worth seeing.
“I don’t know that you do, but that’s probably for the best,” she smiled, patting their joined hands.
“Well perhaps if you had better company you’d enjoy yourself more.”
“I’m certain of it but I doubt anyone would want to go on holiday with me now that...” Audrey trailed off, she wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. There were many possibilities, each one that occurred to her seemed worse than the last.
Richard waited to see if she would finish her sentence but after a long pause he felt he ought to say something. He hated to see her so downcast; so lacking in the usual energy and determination she brought to everything she did.
“Well, you never know...” a thought occurred to him, he would take her on holiday. They could go somewhere together, somewhere Audrey wanted. Somewhere that she used to go only this time, this time she would enjoy it more because he was there with her. He would make her laugh and they wouldn’t care what other people thought and… “if you wanted perhaps-” It was ridiculous. Audrey would never agree to go on holiday with him, not in all the years her family had been at Grantleigh. The words had already begun to leave his mouth before he could stop them- “ we could…”
Thankfully, a rustling in the nearby undergrowth distracted them both and the words died on his lips. He closed his mouth. Richard looked in the direction of the noise and saw badgers coming into the clearing
“Look!” Richard pointed eagerly. Glad of a distraction remembering in that moment that this had been the whole reason he had brought Audrey here.
Audrey regarded him hopefully for a moment before following his gaze. There, in the clearing were a set of badgers. Her expression softened as she watched the badger cubs nuzzling affectionately at their mother. She glanced at Richard but he was too enthralled watching the badgers to notice. She wondered if it was a ruse. He had seemed on the point of saying something… But she knew it was best that he didn’t. That neither of them did. But it was so much harder to accept that he wasn’t the villainous foreign businessman with no care for the estate and a mind only for profit when he did things like that.