Chapter Text
September 29, 2022
Dear Hope,
You’re the unfortunate winner of whose person’s name I drew out of Mr. Preston’s hat full of random names, of the entire student body that was required to transfer here due to a “minor” (major) gas leak at the Salvatore School. I've got to hand it to whoever left a burner on in the chemistry lab and even more so to the chemistry teacher that hadn’t thoroughly checked before leaving for the day. Because of that, the explosion that ensued was the coolest thing I’ve witnessed since.. well, I guess that is the coolest thing I’ve ever witnessed. Yes I just casually laid out the details of your school’s demise as if it weren’t the end of the world for you and your supposed kingdom and devoted subjects. Anyways, welcome to our humble abode that is the cesspool coined Mystic Falls High.
Oh, I forgot my manners, I’m Landon. Is it okay that I call you Hope? Word around the campus is that most people refer to you as Mikaelson, as in thee Mighty Mikaelson because you’re a gridiron on the field and no one dares to cross you. As in Queen Salvatore herself, because you’re practically private school royalty. Anyways, I’m just going to call you Hope.
Well, now that introductions are out of the way, shall we get to the gritty details of this lame pen pal assignment that the English department is forcing all of us to participate in? The English department is quite cruel when they decide to torture us students, which is actually more often than none when I think about it. Well, Mr. Preston suggested that we talk about our likes and dislikes in this first letter as a way to start off the conversation. I’ve got to be honest though, you really haven’t earned the right to learn anything about me. So, I’m not going to tell you a thing about me, yet.
I think it’s only fair that you be the one to start our academic relationship off since I was forcibly required to initiate an introduction. So, your move Hope.
-Landon
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September 30, 2022
Dear Snarky,
I suppose that you think you were being quite clever with your “witty” dialogue. Hate to break it to you, but if you were going for the loner vibe that thinks they’re too cool to participate in an assignment, you messed up. See, in order to be a loner, you need to show that you don’t care much for high school clichés or reveal that you give into the basic gossip of one’s peers. You also seem to like stringing intelligent words together for someone acting too cool to be wasting time on a lame english assignment. You failed on both accounts. Sorry Snarky, nice try but better luck next time.
So, likes and dislikes? Go.
Sincerely,
Queen Salvatore aka Hope
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October 3, 2022
Dear Hope,
My name is Landon, not snarky. It’s pronounced LAN-DEN. If you need help with that, it’s a good thing you’re in an English class with a readily accessible English teacher at your disposal to help you with your syllables. I know one syllable is already quite hard to master so two must be brutal for you.
I do have to touché you on your keen observation of my keen observations and as reluctant as I am to provide any kind of personal and intimate information about myself, I will promise to lay down my sword (no sexual innuendo intended) if you promise to lay yours down. I’m going to have some faith in you and divulge something of myself, completely putting myself on paper where the possibility of public discovery and humiliation is at an all time high, all in the name of being able to pass this English class. Who’s idea was it to make participation 25% of our grade anyway? It’s pretty much medieval torture is what it is.
Anyways, are you ready for me to bear my soul? Ready for us to take that step towards intimacy? Get ready to have your mind blown…
I don’t like school.
See? Quite the intimate reveal huh?
-Landon
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October 4, 2022
Dear Snarky,
Yeah I’m gonna stick with Snarky, it suits you better.
Really? You don’t like school? That’s the best you can do? That’s really deep of you. But fine, I’ll bite. English is starting to be my least favorite class, there’s my confession.
So what has school done to traumatize you so much that you hate it?
Sincerely,
Hope
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October 5, 2022
Dear Hope,
You know, I’m starting to feel gypped here. First, you won’t address me by my given name, a name I am rather fond of by the way. Second, you mock me for my confession and provide an equally neurotic confession of your own that I did not ask for. And third, well.. there isn’t a third yet but I know there will be.
As for my traumatic experience with school, you name it then I’ve probably experienced it. Sure I can tell you it’s because of bullies and being singled out and excluded for reasons unexplained to me. I could also tell you it’s because the teachers here play favorites and the grading curve does nothing to help the less fortunate students. Or maybe I can tell you that in a school like this one, academics doesn’t matter if you can’t manage to shoot a touchdown or score a slam dunk.
What I can tell you, that is an absolute fact, is that the hierarchy at this school is the same as everywhere else. That’s why I don’t like school, because no matter which school you attend, you can’t actually be yourself and so you never really know who anyone really is.
How’s that for deep? (Again, sexual innuendo not intended)
-Landon
P.S. I’m guessing I’m the reason you’re hating English class already? By the way, what period do you have English anyway?
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October 6, 2022
Dear Landon,
There, happy? I do have to admit, it is a good name. At least it’s not an overtly asinine name like Ethan or Sebastian or Gideon. Not something that says “hey look at me, give me all your attention!”
For the record, you score a touchdown not shoot it and a slam dunk is just that, a slam dunk. You don’t shoot it or score it, you just do it.
So what I gather is that you’re always the bullied and not the bully? Well, I can’t argue with you there, it definitely does suck to be bullied and the isolation that comes along with it. So what do you do to cope with it?
You said every school is the same with their hierarchy so I’m guessing you’ve attended many different schools. Is it because you’re an army brat or just a regular brat?
Sincerely,
Hope
P.S. Yes you’re absolutely the reason why I’m hating English. You’re insufferable.
P.P.S. Second period.
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October 6, 2022
Dear Hope,
I asked Mr. Preston if I could write your letter a day earlier than normal since I won’t be in my English period tomorrow and I didn’t want you to not get a letter while the rest of your classmates did. See? I’m sweet, not insufferable.
For your information, Gideon is a cool name. I would name my dog Gideon if I had a dog. But I thoroughly agree with you on Ethan and Sebastian. Yuck.
Listen, I know you want to know more about me because of course you think I’m charming. However, this is supposed to be a give and take pen pal assignment. So far, all you’ve done is take in more information about me and have not offered any info about yourself in return. I know nothing about you except that you’re in love with me and that you’re great at sports.
It’s your turn to pony up some details about yourself. Which reminds me, I have been meaning to ask, why football? Like, what drew you to that particular sport?
-Landon
P.S. I am kidding about the being in love with me part but you've got to admit, you finding me insufferable is borderline crushing.
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October 7, 2022
Dear Landon,
Why aren’t you in English period today? Also no, Gideon sounds like a robot’s name.
HOW CAN YOU NOT FIND YOURSELF INSUFFERABLE AFTER ASSUMING I AM CRUSHING?! You really expect me to tell you more about myself after that? You’re lucky this is an assignment otherwise I would not have written back after the first letter.
Regarding football, I didn’t really choose it, I’ve just always been pretty good at it. When I was about seven years old, our physical education teacher noticed I did really well when we got to the football section of the year. They ended up convincing me and my parents to try out for little league and I’ve just been a quarterback ever since. It isn’t really something I’m passionate about but it’s a ticket to a good college and possibly a free ride.
Um, I’ve never really told anyone that. Let’s just keep that between us and by that I mean you need to burn this letter the moment you’re done reading it.
Sincerely,
Hope
P.S. You've really got to learn the mechanics on human interaction.
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October 10, 2022
Dear Hope,
I was skipping class like the charming loner that I am.
You’re definitely right, Gideon is a robot’s name. I would love to have an artificial intelligence robot named Gideon. Imagine me just saying out of nowhere, “Gideon, remind me to make sure Hope’s last letter self destructs” and then Gideon actually reminds me at the perfect time. That moment where I know I’m supposed to do something but have forgotten what that something is. That's the moment Gideon would remind me.
So you’re great at football though it’s not something you want to pursue, but you’re trying to get a free ride to college by using an ability of yours that you don’t even plan on advancing in college? Seems like that would defeat the purpose of college.
What is it that you are passionate about?
-Landon
P.S. I’m human, you’re human, we’re interacting. I’ve got it down.
P.P.S. Sorry you had to go a full weekend without hearing from me. Did you miss me? *wink*