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You wondered how many Outer Rim planets and moons you would get to know before your inevitable death or probable capture. This was your fifth time landing in the middle of nowhere. Though the tragic end to the clone wars had worn your nature to pessimism, you carried a secret spark of hope that each relocation would deliver you to a familiar face. No such luck yet.
As a general you had witness destruction, deception and death at every corner. Most who stood for what they believed in succumbed to horrific fates. You had thought nothing could be worst than war - but now, selfishly, you would’ve given anything to be back in the thick of it if it meant you’d have your comrades at your side. The aftermath was worse. Now, there was nothing to believe in.
But we must persevere and, in time, I believe a new hope will emerge.
No. You would go there.
Instead, you moved forwards.
A nomadic lifestyle did not suit you, but lingering in any one place for long enough to get to know the locals was no option for a Jedi. The Empire wasted no time leaking their poison to every reach of the galaxy. Whenever they got too close you had to vacate, hence your current situation. Around you were acres of sand dunes (there usually were) and, in the hazy distance, a semblance of civilisation. That would be your first port of call.
You emerged from the cantina as dusk began to settle over the sad, sparse town that would be your new neighbourhood. Deep orange painted the sandscape, it’s warmth juxtaposing the hollowness in you. Your previous exploration as well as a few habitants had pointed you towards a vacant house for you to claim, but as you headed to check it out, you became aware that you were being followed.
Already?
It usually took more than a few hours for trouble to find you in a new place. And yet, the back of your neck prickled in a knowing tell. There was hardly anyone around, so it wasn’t hard to discern the figure sticking to shadows and nipping out of sight every time you so much as glanced over your shoulder was tailing you. You decided not to head to the house, and instead made for the dunes. The open landscape would leave nowhere to hide or beat around the bush. You’d rather get the confrontation over with.
Orange gave way to indigo as the sun dipped ever lower, and by the time you were out on the open sand the first stars were making themselves known overhead. You stopped walking, huffed dramatically, and turned around. Silhouetted against the lights blinking on in the town, your follower brazenly continued his pursuit. You raised your arms at your sides as if to say come on then. He did not pick up his pace.
You could feel your impatience brewing, until he got close enough that you could see his face. Close enough to see he was a clone - and a familiar one at that. This time when you raised your hand it was a warning to stop. Your other hand closed around the lightsaber you had hidden beneath your cloak. It would crush you to have to ignite it, especially against him, but you had not survived this long by being soft. He did not stop coming towards you.
“Rex. Don’t.” You hated how strangled your voice sounded.
He continue his approach, raising his own palms as if gesturing surrender. You wished you could let your guard down and rejoice at finally finding an old friend, but the clones... oh, you couldn’t bear to think about the last time you’d seen a clone. He wanted you to relax so that he would have an easier time executing you. Part of you considered what that would really mean. Would it be so bad to give up, to let your running and your loneliness end here?
Be secret... but be strong.
He was almost right in front of you. You took a step back.
“Rex, please.”
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
His voice... he sounded like himself. You took another step back, eyebrows knitting together. You were struggling to form a coherent thought.
We will each be challenged: our trust, our faith, our friendships.
You forced yourself to meet his gaze. His amber eyes conveyed a warmth you had missed so dearly, threatening for a moment to fill that hollowness, but you told yourself you’d be a fool to believe you could find happiness after all this time.
He said your name. It had been so long since you’d heard it said out loud. You’d almost forgotten it, along with who you were before you’d lost everything. You were on your knees - when had that happened? Your fingers curled into the sand. Where you giving up?
May the force be with you, always.
You squeezed your eyes shut. You waited for a blow that never came. You didn’t know how long you sat frozen, how long you held your breath and willed yourself out of existence at the hands of someone you had cherished. When nothing happened, you wondered if the Force had cradled you peacefully and unknowingly to the end.
But then he spoke again.
“Please look at me.”
His voice sounded close. You reluctantly obeyed, and sure enough he had knelt right in front of you. Wordless, he tapped the side of his head, and your eyes found a scar marring his skin there. It clicked into place.
“Fives...” was all you could think to say, and Rex nodded solemnly. You regarded each other for a moment, before silently and mutually deciding to pull each other into a hug. “Stars, Rex, is it really you?” Your voice was muffled against his shoulder, your clenched fists twisted into his clothes.
“It’s me. Sorry about the stalking, I had to be sure it was you. I- I couldn’t believe it-” You could barely follow what he was saying, but it didn’t matter - nothing mattered in that moment except the two of you, existing in the same space once again. You pulled back to look at him. You raised a hand to trace the lines of his face and he leaned into your touch, never once breaking eye contact.
“You are a sight for sore eyes.” You told him, and you both allowed yourself a chuckle.
“Could say the same, general.”
Your heart seized at the word.
“Oh, please, Rex, there are no ranks here.”
“I suppose not.” He agreed.
You sat in silence for another minute, marvelling in each other’s company. Then you started speaking, all the words you’d been keeping to yourself all this time spilling out at once.
“It’s been so long, Rex. So long I’ve been... drifting on my own, not knowing. Oh that’s the worse part, Rex, it’s the worst, not knowing what happened to... anyone. I remember getting Obi-Wan’s beacon, oh-” that was too painful of a memory to delve into. You hated hearing Obi-Wan’s voice replay in your mind. You pressed a hand to your chest as if you could feel a physical heartbreak. Rex, who had been nodding along in understanding as you spoke, placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder.
“Well, I can tell you what I know.” He offered. You nodded.
Under enveloping darkness and sea of stars, Rex told you everything he knew. He described the events on Mandalore, receiving Palpatine’s order, Ahsoka saving him, Maul’s havoc. He described everything to you in as much detail as his heartache would allow, pausing when it got too much, but ultimately completing his story for your sake. When he was finished, the two of you had inched so close that your knees where touching and your foreheads were pressed together. Both of you were crying - deep, aching sobs - as you mourned in a way you had never been able to: together. Eventually, you found your voice.
“Thank you, Rex.”
You returned your hands to his face, cupping both his cheeks, and then you were kissing him. It seemed, to both of you, the most natural thing in the galaxy to do. It was wet, with both of you so teary, and you were each so emotional that it was hard and numbing and almost feral, but it was right.
But we must persevere and, in time, I believe a new hope will emerge.
The kiss ended so that you could both catch your breath, and then you kissed again, this time gentler. As if in the first kiss you had shared your loss and pain, but this one was... hopeful.
“I’m so glad I found you.” Rex muttered against your lips, and you threw your arms round his neck, surprising him with your enthusiasm. His hands found your waist and you pulled back just enough to look at him.
“I’m not letting you out of my sight.” You told him. He smiled.
“You wouldn’t be able to get me out of it if you tried.”
“I’ve always loved you.” The words slipped out before you could stop them. Perhaps it was a strong thing to say after a first kiss, but you felt like you’d just spent a lifetime thinking everyone you’d ever cared about was dead, so holding back had evaded your list of priorities. It was true, the captain had held a special place in your heart since your very first mission with General Skywalker and the 501st. Those feelings had blossomed every time you’d crossed paths afterwards, and indeed, eventually, in moments when you’d been apart. Your dedication to the Jedi Code had you carefully suppressing such feelings, but Coruscant and the Code were a distant memory now. Endearingly, his eyes widened in surprise at your confession. Night had encompassed the desert so it was hard to tell, but you thought you saw a blush on him.
“I- I love you too. I do, I have... too.” He fumbled over his words, and wished you could stay in that moment forever. After a while, a hesitant frown crumpled his features, his nose scrunching at his thoughts.
“What is it?” You pressed.
He sighed heavily. “It would be safer to stay apart.”
“Stop it.”
“I know, I don’t want to, but I don’t know what I’d do if the Empire got their slimy hands on you-”
“Rex, I just said I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
“We’ll have a code or... or something so if we ever need to reach each other again-”
“Rex!” You grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him slightly until he met your gaze. “What are the odds of us running into each other like this? The Force brought me here, to you, and I’m not letting go of the chance of a semi-happy life. With you.” You stumbled on the last part, doubting for a moment that he would even want a life with you. And what did that really mean? Living together? Playing happy families? Oh stars, having a family - was that an option? You were getting ahead of yourself. Rex was staring at you blankly.
“With me?” He repeated. You nodded, too caught up in your thoughts to string a sentence together. He said your name again, and you melted at the sound. “You know I’m going to age so much quicker than you.” He said quietly, almost ashamed. “I already have.” He added.
That much was true. The grooves in his skin were etched deeper than the last time you saw him, and the freckles that bloomed across his nose were far more prominent, but none of that took away from the butterflies you felt looking at him. You shook your head.
“Rex, let’s just live in the moment, okay?”
You pulled him in for another soft, slow kiss, and the way he kissed you back gave you an affirmative answer.
Life moving forwards would still hold it’s challenges. You wouldn’t be safe as long as the Empire held its footing. You would still hold a heavy sadness at the unknowns that Rex hadn’t been able to fill in. The Force would still throb and swirl with encroaching darkness, and sing its melancholy swan song with the immense losses. But, from now on, you would not be alone.