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“C’mon, kid—spit it out! I need to get back to work.” Joe said, wiping his hands on his apron.
Cherry muffled a laugh behind his hand and looked, pointedly, around the near-empty restaurant.
Joe glared at him and then turned back to Reki.
“Kid?” He asked again. “C’mon. What’s up?”
“I…” Reki mumbled. His heart was pounding and his throat felt like it was closing up. He looked down at his hands, which were cradled together in his lap.
“I.” he inhaled, sharply. “ IwanttoaskLangaout .”
“What was that?” Joe said with a laugh.
Reki winced and tried again. “I want to ask Langa out. I… I really like him and… and I want to ask him out.”
“Then go for it! What’re you waiting for?”
“Oh shut up, you massive oaf.” Cherry snapped. “He’s obviously nervous.”
Reki’s face flushed and he immediately turned his gaze back to his hands. He felt hot. Did he have a fever, maybe?
He’d liked Langa from the first moment he saw him—how could he not? Langa was beautiful. The most beautiful person that Reki had ever seen.
And beyond that—beyond Langa’s silvery-blue hair that Reki longed to run his fingers through, beyond the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, beyond his soft pink lips that Reki’d spent far too long daydreaming about—he was kind. He was funny. He was humble despite being so, so talented.
“Why’re you nervous?” Joe asked. “Don’t be! Just be yourself! Be confident! What could go wrong?”
“… Everything? ” Reki whispered. “He could…He could ignore me. He could hate me. I could—I could lose everything.”
“He’s not going to hate you,” Cherry said. “I know it’s scary, but you have to be rational. Langa’s your best friend. He loves you already—you know that. The step between platonic love and romantic love seems large, but it’s really not. When I asked Joe out I was scared too, because I thought it’d change everything. But—”
“What? You didn’t ask me out!” Joe laughed. “I asked you out—remember?”
“No, I don’t, because I asked you out!” Cherry glared. “Regardless—” He relaxed his gaze and turned back to Reki. “Langa loves you. I know it’s hard to see, but it’s true. The worst thing that could happen would be if he turns you down, yes—but that wouldn’t change much. It might be awkward for a little while, but you guys are best friends. You’ve made it through so much together, so you’ll make it through the awkwardness.”
“Besides! He totally likes you back—so don’t even worry!”
“You—how could you know that?” Reki asked.
“C’mon kid, it’s obvious. The way he looks at you—it’s like he’s hangin’ on to your every word. Like he thinks you hung up all the stars in the sky!”
Reki shook his head. That couldn’t be true, right? Wouldn’t he have noticed?
He knew Langa was his friend. And he knew that there was a tiny, minuscule chance that Langa’d agree to be his boyfriend—he’d never even consider asking him out, otherwise. But—but Langa already liking him? That seemed ludicrous.
“It’s true!” Joe grinned. “Just accept it! So—how’re you gonna do it? Do you already have a plan? You should do something big and flashy—write him a song and sing it at school! Or—or win a race and then confess at the finish line!”
“Those are the most idiotic ideas I’ve ever heard.” Cherry sighed. “Don’t listen to him, Reki—he relies on his muscles to hide his severe lack of social grace. You don’t want an audience—especially not if you’re nervous. It could help to write down a few notes beforehand—of things you want to say. But other than that… Just be yourself, and be honest. Tell him you like him—tell him why you like him. And— and maybe buy him a small present? Some flowers, or some chocolate. It’s okay if it’s awkward, and it will definitely feel embarrassing. But he’d be an idiot if he said no.”
“You… Do you really think that?” Reki asked. “Should I be writing this down? Chocolate… and flowers? Okay! And—and no audience. Right! Because—because I don’t want to put him on the spot. Or—or make him feel awkward if he says no.”
“Right! See—you’re a natural already.” Cherry smiled, reaching a hand out to gently squeeze Reki’s shoulder.
“You’ve got this, kid! When he says yes, you guys can have a date here, if you want! On the house—it’ll be my treat.”
“Don’t jinx it!” Reki yelped. “But… But okay! I—I can do this!”
“That’s the spirit!” Joe cheered.
“Call us and let us know how it goes. And good luck, Reki.”
“Thanks, guys!” Reki grinned shakily. “Really—thank you!”
_____________
“What time did you say you needed to be home?” Langa asked. They were at a park—seated along the fence that lined the perimeter. Their skateboards and backpacks were propped up beside them.
Inside Reki’s backpack was a bouquet of a dozen mini sunflowers—carefully tied with a white ribbon, with their stems wrapped in a damp paper towel. He’d gone to Shadow’s flower shop before school (and nearly been late to first period because he couldn’t decide on a bouquet—were roses too cliché? Lilies were pretty, but according to Shadow they wilted very quickly. It was so hard to decide!)
He grabbed the handle of his backpack and pulled it closer. His hands were shaking slightly, so he shook his hoodie sleeves down to cover them. How did anyone do this? He felt like he was going to throw up.
His forehead was sweaty—his throat dry and painful. How had Cherry (or Joe—or whoever—) done this? Be confident? He couldn’t be confident! Not when he felt so… So shaky! And scared!
“…Reki?” Langa asked, his voice soft. “Reki? Does your stomach hurt?”
“Ah! No! I’m fine!” Reki startled. “Um! Why? Does yours?”
“…No? You just… looked a little pale. It must’ve been the light.”
“Yep! Probably just the light!” Reki forced himself to laugh. “I’m all good! Never been better, in fact! I’m on top of the world!”
What was he doing? This was horrible! He was going to scare Langa away before he’d even had a chance to confess!
“Alright.” Langa hummed. It was silent for a moment. Reki wondered if Langa could hear how loudly his heart was beating.
He needed to ask. He needed to ask! This was it! He had the flowers, he had the hastily scribbled notes. They were alone. The background was beautiful and romantic—the sun was low on the horizon, the sky a painting of pinks and oranges and purples. He just needed to ask!
“Hey, Langa—” He choked out.
“Reki, I—” Langa said at the exact same time. He laughed quietly. “You can go first.”
“No! No—ah! It’s alright! You go!”
“Okay. Um… Reki, I… Well… Um…” He took a deep breath. “Okay. Well, you know how I just moved here? And—and I… Well, I don’t really know anyone. Except for my mom. And—well, after my dad died—I… I felt lost. Aimless, I guess. I don’t really know. My mom said I needed a change—something to give me direction and purpose. But—but everything just felt really pointless. I… I couldn’t sleep, I had trouble eating, I gave up snowboarding. I…” He paused and looked down at something written on his palm.
“Anyways. I—I was kind of just going through the motions. But—but then I… Well, I met someone. Someone great. Someone who… who made me want to get up in the morning. Who is so… So passionate and kind and talented. And—” he swallowed, his throat bobbing. “And I really, really like them.”
Reki’s heart dropped in his chest. He couldn’t speak—couldn’t think. What? Langa already liked someone?
He flinched, suddenly, and dropped his backpack strap from his hands. Had the air changed? His lungs were closing up, struggling for air. He opened his mouth. Closed it again. He didn’t know what to say.
He knew he needed to be supportive. It… It was great that Langa had a crush! It was! He needed to be happy! He—
He forced a smile onto his face. “Oh! Um. Ah! That’s great Langa! Really! Wow! Are you going to ask them out?” He jerked back and stumbled to his feet before Langa could answer. “Wow! Would you—would you look at the time! It’s so late! I—I told my mom I’d help her with dinner, so—so I have to go! Um! See you later!”
He turned away, picking up his skateboard and swinging his backpack over one shoulder. It felt like it weighed a thousand pounds—like the sunflowers had turned to stone.
“...Reki?” Langa asked from behind him. “Reki, what’s wrong?” He sounded scared.
Reki grit his teeth and dug his nails into his palm. He knew he was being rude. Knew he was being a horrible friend. But—but he couldn’t be here any longer. He needed to go home. Needed to drink some tea and cry his eyes out and fall asleep. And then tomorrow, he’d be able to put on a supportive face and ask Langa more about his crush.
“Goodnight!” He squeaked out. He started to run and he didn’t turn around—not even when Langa called out his name again.
_____________
His phone rang. It had rung three times in the past hour. Reki wondered who was calling him.
He didn’t pick it up. He rolled over in his bed and buried his face into his pillow
Eventually, it stopped.
A knock came from his door.
“Reki, dear?” His mom asked, poking her head in. He could hear his little sisters in the kitchen, laughing and whining about unfinished homework. “It’s time to get up, or you’ll be late for school!”
Reki groaned and turned his head. He reached a hand up to rub at his eyes and then slowly opened them. He hadn’t slept at all. His flowers sat, mocking him, from a vase on his desk.
(He’d tried to throw them out after he’d gotten home. He’d even gotten as far as putting them in the garbage. But then… Then he’d felt bad, and picked them back out, and placed them in one of his mother’s vases. They didn’t deserve to die for his incompetence.)
“Oh no, dear. Do you not feel well?” His mom asked. She hurried over and gently placed a hand on his forehead. “You’re not warm, but…”
“Mama!” Nanaka called from the kitchen. “Mama! Someone knocked your coffee over! Also—we have to go! I have to be there early today for my club!”
His mom frowned. “I have to go, Reki dear. Um—you don’t have to go to school if you don’t feel well. I can put some breakfast in the fridge if you want? And there’s some Tylenol in the medicine cabinet.”
She bent down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Call me if you feel worse, okay? I can come home from work early. I haven’t used up a sick-day in months!”
Reki nodded. His voice was dry and raspy when he spoke. “Okay, Mama. Thank you.”
“Of course. I love you.”
“Love you too, Mama.”
She smiled, straightening up. “Remember. Call me if it’s worse.”
A moment later, his door clicked shut.
Reki groaned again and buried his back into his pillow. He knew he needed to get up. He knew he should be at school. He didn’t want Langa to feel worried or think that Reki was mad at him.
Because he wasn’t! He wasn’t mad! He just…
He groaned again.
He’d cried last night. He’d helped with dinner, eaten, said goodnight to his mom and sisters, and then he’d broken down and sobbed. Huge, shattering sobs—that had wrecked his chest and made it difficult to breathe.
He felt stupid. So, so stupid. He knew that it was unlikely that Langa would say yes. So why was he so upset? It was great that Langa had a crush! It meant that he’d found someone that made him happy! Someone that made him feel more at home in Japan! Someone that… that made him want to get out of bed in the morning! That was amazing! Langa deserved to be happy—he deserved to be with whoever he wanted.
But—but Reki’d just wanted to try! He’d just wanted to ask—to get these overwhelming, suffocating emotions off his chest.
Reki’s hands felt numb as he reached over to pick up his phone. He had four missed calls—all from Langa. He ignored them. School was probably going to start soon anyway, so it wasn’t like Langa would be able to answer.
He opened up his texts with Langa and typed out “ Hey! You’re really pretty and I like you! Be my boyfriend? ” before immediately deleting it.
Stupid! His brain reminded him. You’re being selfish!
He pushed his pillow away and sat up. God. He—he just couldn’t do it, right now. He couldn’t be alone. He felt sick—awful and heavy and exhausted. But—but he knew it’d only be worse if he was alone with his thoughts.
He slowly pressed on his contacts and dialed Joe’s number.
Would Joe even answer? His restaurant didn’t open until lunch, and he probably had better things to do than—
“Hey, kid!” Joe cheered. “You’re on speakerphone. What’s up? Kaoru—” He yelped suddenly. “I mean Cherry! Cherry is here too! How’d it go? Did you confess? Or did you chicken out?”
“Hey, Joe,” Reki said. His voice sounded dull, even to his own ears. “Hey Cherry. Um. No… No, I didn’t. I—I guess I didn’t get the chance to.”
“...That’s alright,” Cherry said, his voice gentle. “You can always see if you get another chance today, right? There’s no pressure—just do it whenever it feels natural.”
“No…No, you—” Reki’s voice cracked. “You guys don’t understand. I…” He paused and squeezed his eyes shut. All the emotions from last night were surging up again, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to start crying—not in front of Joe and Cherry .
“He—He...” He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t— “He likes someone else!”
The phone was silent.
Then— “Oh. Oh no.” Cherry said. “Oh, Reki. I’m sorry.” He turned and whispered something to Joe, but it was too quiet for Reki to make out.
A few seconds later, Joe spoke.
“Um. Kid? Do you want to talk about it? Or—if you want, you could come on down to the restaurant. I haven’t opened up yet, but I could cook you up some breakfast. Something unhealthy—maybe some waffles? Or french toast?”
“No. That—that’s alright. I... I just need some time to myself. I’m—I’m totally overreacting!” Reki forced out a laugh, although tears were still beading up behind his closed eyes. “Really. It’s not a big deal. I’m… I’m happy for him. Happy—” his voice cracked again. “Happy that he’s found someone.”
“Hey—no. No, kid, don’t do that. You’re allowed to be sad, okay? You’re not overreacting at all. Getting rejected fucking blows.”
“Believe him, Reki.” Cherry broke in. “If anyone knows how getting rejected feels, it’s definitely Joe.”
“Hey!–” Joe protested, but Cherry ignored him.
“We’re always here if you want to talk, okay?”
Reki forced himself to nod and then realized they couldn’t see him. “I… I know. Thank you. I just—I just wish that I’d gotten a chance to confess. Which—I know that’s stupid. But—but I’ve liked him ever since he moved here and… I just wanted to tell him, I guess.”
The phone was silent again. For a moment, Reki thought that they’d hung up. Until—
“...Wait…” Cherry said. “You… You didn’t confess to him?”
“...No?” Reki said. “I was about to! I—I had the flowers and the notes and there was no crowd, just like you said. But it’s like I told you. He—he said he liked someone else before I even had a chance to ask him.”
“So—so just to clarify… What did Langa say to you, exactly?”
“Um…” Reki swallowed. “I’m sorry, guys. But—but I don’t feel too good. I don’t think I really want to talk about it. I mean—I know it’s stupid to be this upset over it. Plenty of fish in the sea, and all that. But—but I’m still—”
“I’m sorry.” Cherry interrupted. “But please. Just humor me. What did Langa say?”
Reki took a deep, shaky breath. He looked back at the flowers on his desk. The heads of them had turned, slightly, so that they faced the sunlight streaming in through his open window.
“I… I don’t remember, exactly.” He said, his voice unsteady. “I guess… He—he said that he’d met someone who… Who was really… Really talented. And passionate, and who—who made him feel less aimless. Someone who made him look forward to getting up each day.”
It was silent for a few seconds, and then Joe’s muffled laughter sounded from the phone. Reki flinched and clenched his eyes shut again. It wasn’t funny!
“Shut up!” Cherry whispered. Then, to Reki— “Okay… I’m... I don’t want to be rude, but did you ask who he was talking about?”
“...No?”
“Oh god—” Joe’s whisper was muffled. He must have stepped away from the phone. “Does he—does he not know?”
“Do I not know what? Why, do you know who it is? Is it someone from S? Another skater?”
“Shut up, you inept gorilla! You aren’t helping at all!” Cherry said to Joe, his voice a harsh whisper. Joe whispered something back, but it was too quiet for Reki to hear.
“Reki?” Cherry asked, his voice softer. “I think you should talk to Langa. Just—just to clear things up. I know it’s going to feel really awkward, but I really think you should—and preferably as soon as possible. Joe and Carla agree with me, alright?”
“... I’ll probably see him tomorrow.” Reki ground out. “But—but do I really have to talk to him about… about last night?”
“Yes. I really think you should, okay?”
“Yeah, do it!” Joe said. “Maybe ask him who he meant!” He laughed again and then yelped as, presumably, Cherry shoved him away.
“Call us back after you guys talk, okay?”
“...Okay.” Reki agreed.
A few moments later, his phone beeped. He set it down on his nightstand and flopped back down onto his bed.
Talk to Langa, huh?
It sounded like an absolute nightmare, but.. Well. Cherry was smart. And if he said that it was the right thing to do, then Reki would do it.
_____________
Finding Langa was easy.
Reki woke up the next day two hours earlier than usual. He threw a hoodie over his head, stuffed his homework and books in his backpack, grabbed a piece of toast and his skateboard, kissed his mom on the cheek, and ran out the door.
It was still dark out, but it was fine. He—he needed to do this now. Needed to get it out of the way before school—before he was trapped alongside Langa’s desk for seven hours straight. Before he and Langa shared a four-hour shift at Dope Sketch.
He needed them to be friends again—and to do that, he needed to apologize. For—for running off and for acting rude and for being a bad friend.
He didn’t particularly want to (he was still so scared! Still didn’t want to acknowledge that he had tried and failed to even confess), but he could hear Cherry’s voice—calm and sensible—ringing in his ears. Talk with him.
So he skated up to the street corner where they usually met, sat down, and waited for Langa to arrive.
He didn’t have to wait long.
“Reki?” Langa called, his voice hesitant. Reki jerked up from where he’d been staring at the ground. “Reki… what are you doing here?”
“What—what are you doing here? It’s still so early!” Reki stuttered.
“I… I wanted to see you? I was—I was headed to your house.”
“Oh. Well, actually—same here. I was waiting for you.”
Langa looked beautiful in the morning. His hair, his eyes. His hands, where they gripped his bag. The small mole on his neck.
Reki forced himself to look away.
“Reki, I… I don’t know if you saw, because you didn’t answer.” Langa started. “But—but I called you yesterday. Almost a dozen times. I—”
“Yeah, I saw, I’m sorry I didn’t answer. I was… Feeling a bit sick, I guess. But I’m all better now. Really, I think it might’ve just been a twenty-four-hour bug or something. One of my sisters was sick a couple of weeks ago, so maybe I got it from her. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I—”
“Reki, I… I’m sorry, for what happened.” Langa interrupted.
“—And I’m sorry for...” Reki blinked. “... what happened. Wait—what? Why’re you sorry?”
“Umm?” Langa took a deep breath and then sat down beside Reki on the sidewalk. “For—for the other day, like I said. I’m… I’m sorry for just springing things on you. I should have paused and considered things first. Considered how you would feel, I mean. I— I was just in a really good mood, and I felt like it was a good time. But…” He flinched. “But I guess I just didn’t read the situation right. And I’m sorry. For—for making you mad. And for making you run away.
“My mom… Well, she helped me make some cookies for you. I was supposed to give them to you… back then, but I thought they’d make a good apology too. They’re Chocolate chip. If you want them?”
He reached into his bag and brought out a Tupperware stuffed with cookies, which he awkwardly handed to Reki.
Um… I hope they’re alright. We didn’t have enough vanilla extract and I also… left them in the oven, for a bit too long. But I tried one—and they’re pretty good.”
“I mean! Um—thank you! They—they look great! But—but I... I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Why are you apologizing?”
“For…” Langa swallowed. “For not thinking things through. For springing things on you, like that. I promise it won’t change anything. We can just forget it even happened if that would make you happiest.”
“... What? ” Reki squeaked out.
“Are… are you making fun of me?” Langa’s lip trembled and he turned away. “Please—please don’t make fun of me.”
“I’m not making fun of you! I promise! I—I’m just very lost.”
Reki looked down at the cookies in his arms and tried to collect his thoughts. Talk with him, Cherry’s voice echoed.
“Can I… Can I say why I’m sorry?”
“Umm... Yes?” Langa frowned again.
“Okay. Um… I’m sorry for freaking out on you. And… and for being unsupportive, and for running away like that. That… Well, that was really pretty shitty of me, to be honest. So I’m sorry.” He paused, clenching his hands slightly. He could do this. He could do this for Langa. “I’d like a redo now, though, if you’ll let me. So—so… So I’m really happy for you! And… And I want to help out! I—I could be your wingman!”
“....My wingman?” Langa asked. “What?”
“Yeah! Wingman! Like—like I’ll hype you up! Make you look good, you know! Not—not that I think you need help to look good!”
Langa narrowed his eyes. “...What?” He asked again.
Reki frowned. “Wingman? Is—is that not a word in Canadian?”
“No, I know what a wingman is. But… But help me out with what?”
“Your… Your crush? Joe and Cherry said they knew them, so I’m guessing it’s someone at S. Why? Is it someone I know? Do they skate? Have you raced them? Oh—” he gasped, his stomach plummeting. “Oh god. Is it Adam? Please tell me it’s not Adam. Please—”
“Reki—what? Adam? What are you talking about? My crush—the person I was talking about—was you. I like you , Reki.”
Reki’s heart stopped beating. His entire head felt numb—like he’d dunked it into ice water. He blinked.
Swallowed.
Blinked again.
“W-what?” He squeaked. Were—were his ears clogged? Was he actually sick, and somehow hallucinating? Was he still dreaming? “What did you say?”
Langa’s forehead scrunched up. “I like you, Reki.” He repeated, his voice soft but certain. “Did… Did you not know that?”
“Oh my god…” Reki whispered. “Oh my god.” He looked up at Langa. “I’m such an idiot. Oh my god. No wonder Joe was laughing!”
His face split into a grin. “I like you too, Langa! God. I like you so much! I—”
“—Wait…” Langa interrupted. “You do? You… You’re not mad?”
“No! No! I—I was… God! I was going to ask you out! I—I had flowers in my backpack and I had this whole speech planned out and I was gonna sweep you off your feet! Or—at least—I was going to try!” He laughed. He couldn’t help it! “But then you started talking about how you’d met someone that you really liked—and… and I totally panicked!”
“Oh. You…You thought I was talking about someone else.” Langa realized. And then he smiled. “Wow. Wow .”
Reki laughed again. He couldn’t believe it—this. This was really happening!
“Langa—” He tried, once he’d calmed down. “Langa, I really, really like you. Will you go out with me? You… You’re beautiful and kind and amazing. And—and I had flowers, but now they’re in my room, and they’re probably a little wilted. But I’ll buy you more flowers—whatever flowers you want! A new bouquet every single day! So—” He took a deep, sharp breath. “So, please… Be my boyfriend?”
Langa smiled wider. “Yes . Yes . Of course. Be mine?”
“Yes!” Reki grinned. “ Yes !” He reached down, pried the lid off the tupperware, and held it out to Langa. “Would you like a cookie?”
Langa grinned and nodded, grabbing one off the top. Reki did the same and then raised his cookie into the air.
" Yes!” He cheered again. And then— “Wow. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this! You… you’re my boyfriend! A toast to—to no more miscommunications!”
Langa smiled and held his cookie up. “To no more miscommunications.”
Reki laughed again and tapped Langa’s cookie with his own.
Something told him that that probably wouldn’t happen.