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“No, no! I’m not doing this right now!” Dani’s hands shake from the overwhelming emotions coursing through her veins. Jamie keeps saying no. No this, no that. Dani can’t take it, yet she carries on, “Yes, ok. It’s over. This just isn’t going to work anymore. I’m sorry, I really am.” Jamie’s tears are now wiped, as she sits down on the couch, “But we’re in love. We are. You tell me all the time.” A lump forming in the back of Dani’s throat distracts her from the matter at hand. So many memories coming right back. Jamie sees her thinking, revisiting, “No, no. You are not allowed to disappear into your head right now. We need to figure this out. Stop it, stop thinking.” Dani’s mouth is dry as she tries to tell Jamie she’s leaving. She motions to the door. Then the storm hits.
“The state of Vermont is under immediate lockdown after a blizzard is found to be heading towards the northeast. All residents are ordered to stay where they are until further notice.”
It’s quiet for the first hour. Dani sits next to the window, chin resting on the sill as she watches the town she knows and loves go into total mayhem, about to be swallowed whole by snowfall. Jamie retreats to their bedroom, probably to get away from her blonde counterpart. Dani wishes she could do the same sometimes, leave herself, retreating forever. The wind is now whipping through the suburbs, street lights flickering and trees snapping every few seconds. But the house, their home, is warm. As Dani scans across the place, all she can see is them. Them cooking in the morning. Them propagating plants in the afternoon sunlight. Them rushing to the set the table, only to end up eating take out on the couch. A supercut plays in her head. She wishes it would stop. Why won’t it stop? Dani’s blinks are haunted by her. ‘Get out of my head’, she begs, but nobody listens.
When Jamie finally emerges, the first thing she does is pour a glass of wine, thick and red like blood. Dani’s still sitting by the window, watching the little town fall apart around them. Jamie’s fingers strum against the countertops, and she turns to Dani, “What’s your fondest memory of us?” Dani tears her eyes away from the outside, her mind zeroing in on a Bly morning. “The early hours of October 22nd. You showed me around Bly. We got tea and walked through that park and you wrapped your arm around my shoulder. It was really cold, freezing actually. I don’t think my name was even spoken that day, you kept calling me Poppins.” A smile tugs at her lips, and she lets them be lifted. The lump in Dani’s throat gets its way, tears flowing down her face in a steady stream, “What’s yours?”
Jamie finishes off her glass of wine with a sigh. Dani can see her tongue pushing against her teeth, trying to find the perfect words. “July 14th, here, downstairs. We were repotting those ghastly flowers, and you sat on the counter and worried about their feelings the whole time instead. Kept asking if they were going to be happy in their new dirt. And then you gave me this look and hugged me so close. You told me that you didn’t know what you would do if you lost me.” They looked at each other, really looked. Dani realized, in that moment, she had never felt so alone. Jamie was the one and only thing that kept her off the edge, that kept her sane. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I love you.” Jamie sits down next to her on the floor, watching the world as Dani watches her own world, her.