Work Text:
jaemin pov
everything happened so fast that jaemin felt like his head being hit by a huge rock. he felt great pain in his head then suddenly he woke up, his eyes opened and he found himself out of breath, body full of sweat as if he just runs for miles. jaemin sits on his bed, fixing his hair, checking his tshirt wet of sweat. he closed his eyes as he put his hand covering his face. he was crying as he remembered the dream he just got.
hwang injoon, that's the name of the boy who just appeared in his dream. his boyfriend. jaemin sees injoon smiling on the place far from him so he runs to get him but he doesn't get any closer. jaemin feels tired that he stops running, puts his hands on his knee then lifts his head to look ahead, wondering why he can't reach the other boy. injoon kept smiling then saying goodbye to jaemin. jaemin screaming to injoon's name and running again but when finally jaemin almost there, injoon is already gone. that's when jaemin feels like he is falling and suddenly wakes up.
jaemin wapes his face from tears then reaching the photo frame on the corner of his bed, it was the photo of him and injoon. it's been 2 months after injoon is gone. jaemin can't remember how is it happened but injoon is just suddenly disappeared and nowhere to be found.
few minutes after jaemin finally is able to control his feelings, jaemin gets himself down from the bed and walks to the bathroom. jaemin eyes looks lifeless, he still sad and he miss injoon so much.
- - -
"good morning!"
"good morning hyung!"
jaemin hears voices from his back so he turned his body and found jeno and jisung, his bestfriends. jeno is his classmate and jisung is his junior in the dancing club. jaemin puts on a smile then greets them back. they walk to school together.
"you know what, injoon is still disappeared. i don't even understand how it even happened.... i'm such a bad boyfriend aren't i?" said jaemin, all of sudden.
jisung and jeno looked worried as they looked at each other. jeno put his hand on jaemin right shoulder "d-don't worry. he'll back." while jisung didn't say anything and just try to look at anything else.
- - -
jaemin walks home by himself that day. usually he walks together with jeno and jisung but since they are part of the student council and there is something to do so jaemin goes back by himself. jaemin walks on the road where he usually takes and puts an earphone on his ear so he can enjoy listening to music. jaemin passes by a cake shop, one that usually has some sweets together with injoon. he peeks inside and his eyes locked on the table where he usually sits together with injoon. the table is being used but jaemin somehow can see himself laughing together with his boyfriend. jaemin decides to move and walks away when the owner of the cake shop starts to notice him standing outside for minutes.
jaemin slowly walked and found his favorite cafe. jaemin loves coffee so much so he decides to buy his favorite americano. he enters the cafe and takes his queue. jaemin didn't pay attention to anything else at the moment. he was just queueing then order his coffee but then someone passed by him, about to get out from the cafe right when jaemin started sipping his coffee. jaemin feels like he just got his eyes opened, he shut his eyes, trying to make sure that he sees the right thing. the one who just get out of the cafe, he just really looks like injoon—no it is him. jaemin runs following the one. luckily, "injoon" was slow so that jaemin could easily catch up.
"INJOON!" jaemin pulled the guy's hand and the one turned his body and saw jaemin with a flustered face.
jaemin still can't believe it with his eyes. it is injoon, his injoon. he just can't hold his feelings so he hugs the person in front of him. he can feel tears start flowing and wet his cheeks. injoon is finally back and he is embracing him now.
"you are back. you are finally back. where have you been?" jaemin asked when finally he released his body.
"..." the other guy looks confused
"injoon?"
"i'm sorry but i... i don't remember everything..."
jaemin gasped
"w-what do you mean? y-you don't remember me?" the other guys nodded his head. jaemin confused but he hugs him again.
jaemin assumed that injoon had amnesia. he said that he didn't remember anything including his school, his friend, even his boyfriend. jaemin brings injoon to the park near to the cafe where jaemin got his coffee earlier. jaemin wondering why minhyung, injoon's older brother, the only family that injoon have, didn't say anything to him but jaemin didn't really want to take it as a problem. "maybe he has some reason," jaemin thinks.
jaemin hugs injoon again after they are done having some talk. injoon is still as small as he can remember. he misses him so much that he hugs injoon tightly.
"somehow this feels nostalgic..." injoon said. his voice sounded kinda weird, he is probably crying for a bit but he smiles widely when jaemin releases the hugs.
jaemin gets up from the bench where he sits together with injoon then pulls the smaller guy's hand. "follow me!" he said.
jaemin brings them to the cake shop that he passed earlier. he feels so lucky that their usual spot is available so he quickly went there. jaemin ordered some cake that injoon and they usually had together.
"did you remember? we usually come to this cake shop after school. just like this." injoon smiles but he shook his head. "sorry.."
jaemin pats on the other guy "it's okay. you'll remember it later."
- - -
jaemin brings injoon to his house after finishing the chocolate opera cake from the cake shop. jaemin quickly brings injoon to his room. after two weeks after that day, jaemin is finally opening the door of his room with a happy face. he let injoon come in but then he remembers how his room is a mess. he apologizes and quickly makes it up. injoon laughing while helps him a bit.
finally jaemin's room looks much better, so much good even that he finally can let injoon sits on his bed.
"we are usually walking home together with jeno and jisung then you always come to my house for hours. sometimes you stayed up here too! look i still have your pajamas here." jaemin said while showing injoon's moomin pattern pajamas. jaemin is then walks to the small table next to him, grabs a photo frame then shows it to injoon.
"look, this is jeno and jisung, our best friends! jeno is no-fun but he is also fun at the same time. then this is jisung, he is younger than us but he always acts like he is the same age." jaemin pointing on his friends.
injoon looking at the photo which also has him and jaemin, smiles to the camera, looks so happy. injoon didn't say anything but he touched on jaemin's face on the photo and he he kind got some tears but he swipe his face quickly and put his smile again. jaemin just looking at the other guy, warmly smiling too.
"d-did you remember... we also got our first kiss here.. in my room..." jaemin said as he put the photo frame back then sat beside injoon. injoon looking at him turned down his face
"i- sorry jaemin i—..."
"no... please don't.. it's okay... " jaemin hugs him again. jaemin kissed on injoon's head while hugging him tighter. he still smelled the same.
jaemin releases his hug then stares on the other guy. "may i kiss you?" he said it softly. injoon nodded his head.
* * * * *
renjun's pov
renjun stares outside the plane's window with his blank eyes. he puts his chin on his left hand while his right hand grip an envelope. the scenery for a few hours is just plain blue with some white clouds. renjun kept staring at the view outside while remembering how he got the letter on his hand.
two weeks ago, huang renjun find his boyfriend, nana, died on his room, doing suicide. renjun still remembers how he found nana tied himself inside the room and when he screams for help, finally being able to bring him down, nana's body is already as cold as ice. renjun cried while hugging that cold body.
A few days ago, nana's mom said that she found a letter in nana's room. the letter has renjun's name written on the envelope so nana's mom quickly gives it to him.
renjun's hands are shaking. he puts the letter on the table in his room. he walks around for a while, until he finally decides to open it.
dear renjun,
when you received this letter, that means i have already gone. i am so sorry that i have to go like this. renjun, first, you have to know that i love you so much so i have to tell you about this.
one month ago, my family and i went to south korea for a holiday. you won't believe what i see there. i found my doppelganger. his name is na jaemin, i think. it's weird right? i never believed in something like that before but then suddenly it happened to me. you sure have heard about how doppelgangers shouldn't meet each other right? it's like a bad omen or something like that. it was apparently right too. remember that after i went back to china, i got a high fever that i should go to the hospital? well, i can finally feel better after a few days but.. i don't know how to say... i still feel not good. there is something inside me that makes me feel worse day by day. it's like telling me that there should be only one of us, me or that jaemin, and apparently i am not strong enough to stay.
renjun, i am so sorry. i just can't hold it. my whole body is in aches, i don't even know what happened. this is the only way that i can do.. and i have to do it.. i'm so sorry for not even talking about this to you.. i know you also love me so much that you won't let me go... that's why i decided to do this.
renjun, by the time you read this, you must be feeling surprised but please do me a favor. i know you have cousins who live in south korea. please tell your family that you want to go there. you have to find the other 'me' because there is it my soul gone to. this might sound weird but please do it. i want 'us' to met again. he'll probably be just the same with me so you don't have to feel weird. the moment when you met him, you'll feel me inside him so please please do it.
yours forever,
nana.
renjun finished reading the letter and he felt so confused. he cried a lot as he kept reading them. it feels so weird and non-sense. he is a fan of alien movies, these kinds of sci-fi thingy but to suddenly face something like this, it's too weird for him that he denied to accept it.
something even weirder happened a few days after that. he received another letter but this time went by post, a letter from korea.
hi huang renjun.
i found your name and address from the exhibition gallery that was held in shanghai few weeks ago. i asked one of the staff named yukhei— kinda forcing him so please don't be mad at him— after i see your portrait next to the paint which you got awards there.
my name is hwang injoon. our name sounds kinda similar right? yes and it's actually not just our name, but also our face and everything else. i put my photo together with my boyfriend, na jaemin together on this letter so you can check if you don't believe it. maybe the story kinda sounds cliche but a few weeks ago i went to an art exhibition in china because my painting got awards too, that's when i met you and your boyfriend, nana. yes i see you and i feel so surprised. later your boy friend met me and he thought that i am you— but since i can't speak chinese so he found out quickly (this letter is translated with my teacher's help anyway, he is so kind!). he said that she also met my boyfriend, jaemin, his doppelganger, and his looks kinda pale at the moment, without i realizing it, same thing happened to me. we found out the reason why it feels weird, like we got something to throw up from our body but it didn't stop even though we have tried anything. well not to mention that actually my body has been pretty weak since when i was a baby. i was born premature and my immune system isn't really good. yea, back to the topic, so later me and your boyfriend that neither of us actually belongs here. we become weaker after we meet our doppelganger, like it is a bad omen. i didn't really want to believe that at first but i keep thinking about that. that's when i finally asked the staff for your address. a few days later i am going back to korea and i feel worse, just like what nana told me about what he felt. that's when i decided that i needed to finish my life.
i know this sounds so weird and impossible for you but that's what's happened to me, to us, me and nana. we are the weak side that we have to go. once again that sounds weird but that's the reality. renjun, you have to do what i said, you have to go to korea and meet jaemin. please do it. also, i don't think i need to tell you anything about him because he is exactly like nana. please love and take care of him on my behalf because from the moment you read this, i start to live inside you like how it should be.
regards,
hwang injoon.
renjun puts the letter on the table then taking out the photo from the envelope as how it is mentioned. renjun is very surprised to see the photo of a guy who looks exactly like him together with one who looks like nana. renjun is making sure that it's not his photo because the guy on the phono wears a different uniform that he has never seen before. injoon might not know about this information but actually renjun can speak korean too so he can read the name tag on his clothes which is "huang injoon" and the other guy has "na jaemin".
renjun feels like he lost energy on his feet. he feels so confused and he feels like got pain on his head for a while. he stares to the photo again and checking the injoon guy there. he looks like him but he got his face kinda looks pale than him.
a few days later, things happened smoothly like fate. renjun got a scholarship to south korea and he has to move there. after bid a farewell party to his friends, renjun decided to do what injoon and nana told him, to find jaemin.
* * * * *
renjun was so confused that start thinking he lost. it's been a few days since he arrived to south korea but he still can't remember the path really well. he needs to check maps through his phone many times even to go to conbini which is really close to his apartment. he can actually just live together with his cousins, chenle, but he don't want to be a burden for his family. renjun sighs to remember that he should start going to school next week and he still hasn't remembered anything.
renjun kept walking as his foot took him until he decided to go to a cafe. actually he is not a fan of coffee, but nana is. renjun smiled when he entered the cafe, he could smell the strong coffee scent which reminded him of nana. he ordered some latte then quickly get out then suddenly someone stopped him. he accidentally met na jaemin.
na jaemin is just like how injoon said to him, he is exactly the same with nana even to the point that he loves americano. renjun didn't know if jaemin noticed it or not but he kept trying to hold his tears. he knew he shouldn't cry but somehow he missed nana so much. that day jaemin and he kissed, and he feels like they've done it many times. just like when he did it with nana. how nana usually led the kiss and made them closer by putting his hand on his neck, slowly moved his head to make the kiss deeper then he put his hand on jaemin's waist. everything feels the same.
jaemin pov
it's been a few days since injoon came back and jaemin is so happy about it. jaemin remembered the first time when he told jeno about how he met injoon again.
"what do you mean he's back??" jeno's looks surprised that he looks like got his eyes almost jumped out.
jisung tried to hold him, calm the elder guy down.
"yeah, i met him yesterday at the cafe that i usually go to! i don't know what happened. i assume he has amnesia or something. oh, also, he'll be back to school next week!" jaemin who looked so sad until yesterday suddenly looks as bright as before.
jisung and jeno looking at each other. jisung eyes told jeno to not say anything and nodded his head a bit. jeno took a deep sigh then he went silent.
"i’m always so jealous that you're in the same class with him, jeno." jaemin said as he pouted his cheeks.
renjun pov
renjun is so lucky that he is not in the same class as jaemin so he didn't know that he was introduced as a student from china, huang renjun. the whole class kinda looks surprised, especially jeno, one who sits next to him. it doesn't take much time, right when lunch time comes, jeno drags him to the back building of the school and interviews him.
"who are you?" he said
renjun smiled "didn't you hear my introduction earlier? my name is renjun."
"i know inj— renjun, but... you....."
"i am his doppelganger." renjun said before jeno finished his sentences. he tried to tell everything about nana and how he got letters from injoon.
"i'm sorry. i know you are worried for jaemin. i will tell him. soo—"
"NO." jeno cut his sentences this time.
"please don't. at least not now. i'll tell jisung to work out about this but please don't tell jaemin.."
"why is that?" renjun confused
"i have to tell you about how injoon 'gone'."
* * * * *
jaemin pov
jaemin felt so good after injoon back. he got a smile back on his face, everything went better and he feels like his life has become brighter than before. everything feels normal, except for one thing. he can sense that jeno and jisung, his best friends, were acting weird like they are hiding something behind him. jaemin really hates it when he's being left, for being the only one who didn't know about a single thing. the boys usually act weird when it's close to his birthday because they are probably planning for some surprise but it's october and his birthday has passed already.
renjun pov
everything went so smooth. renjun acts as injoon is just him being himself. injoon who likes to paint, who likes to choke hold his friend when he is angry, who always mad when his friend make fun of his height. jaemin is also just like nana. nana who loves to flirt, who loves to pinch jisung cheeks, who likes to tease jeno, who loves injoon so much like how nana loves renjun.
everything went so smoothly but somehow renjun feels guilty. he feels like a liar to jaemin. he is hiding things that actually the other guy should know.
"no injoon, can you please not now... i mean..." jeno said when he asked him to tell jaemin the truth. jeno's been used to call him injoon and especially that he does feels like injoon himself.
renjun called jeno and jisung to the back building of school, the same place where jeno took him to when they met for the first time, talking about his concern.
"i agree with him, hyung. we're afraid... jaemin hyung might not be able to accept it..." jisung doesn't always support jeno's idea but he knows he should for this.
"yea but... i feel guilty... i feels like being mean to him. in the end it's a fact that i am not injoon, i am renju—" renjun stopped talking when he heard the noise of someone stepping on something. when they turned around they saw jaemin looked mad.
"what did you mean you are not injoon?" he said. his ears look reddish, always happened when he was angry.
"j-jaemin... let me explain i—" renjun come closer to jaemin
"NO. WHO ARE YOU. YOU JUST SAY IT BY YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE NOT INJOON. WHERE IS INJOON AND WHAT ARE YOU???" jaemin raises his voice. he's then looking at jeno and jisung.
"and you guys. you knew about this? and laughing behind me since i have been making out with another guy?"
"NO JAEMIN please listen..." jeno takes a deep breath, jeno tries to not cry while jisung is already done.
"NO I WANT MY INJOON WHERE IS HE?" jaemin screams
"JAEMIN PLEASE! INJOON... INJOON HE... INJOON IS DIED!" jeno finally said it. he started crying, sat down on the ground and pulled his hair a bit.
"what..." jaemin looking at jeno and renjun. renjun closed his eyes and made a fist on his hand. jisung is just, crying.
"injoon died in a car accident a few months ago.. and you.. got amnesia right after that. one who lost his memories isn't injoon but it's you.." jeno knows he didn't have another choice but to tell the truth.
renjun tried to come closer to jaemin but he looked shocked and rejected him, telling him not to get closer as he was getting so confused. he started crying that suddenly the flashback of how injoon's body got by a car slowly came back to him. the moment when he dreams he feels like his head is hit by a huge rock is the moment when jaemin hear that injoon is died on the hospital then jaemin's fall and loses consciousness. he faints and his head accidentally hits the floor too hard. that's how he ended up losing his memory.
jaemin stands stiff like a mannequin. he remember everything that he feels like can't move his body and just cries a lot. he covers his face using his hands and keeps crying.
"jaemin... i'm so sorry... but i have to tell you something too..." renjun dragged jaemin 's hand. jaemin didn't even get a chance to ask what it is but renjun just asked jeno to get their bag while he just kept pulling his hand, take them somewhere. jaemin was really angry but now he feels complicated so he just follows where renjun brings him to.
they arrived at renjun's appartement. this is actually the first time jaemin visits renjun's apartment and that's somehow made him realize that the one in front of him is really not injoon. jaemin didn't feel afraid but instead he's curious.
"what are you doing?" jaemin asked when renjun told him to sit on his bed then start searching something in his wardrobe. renjun didn't say anything, probably too busy that he didn't hear jaemin asked him. he's then pulling out a box. the box contains the letters he got from nana and injoon, also some photos of him together with nana as the proof, he told everything.
jaemin's hands are shaking when he sees nana's photo. he feels so weird to see someone exactly looks like him. the letter that injoon and nana sent to renjun, was read by renjun, he translated it to korean so jaemin can understand. renjun can't help but crying again when he reading the letter from nana. jaemin feels weird, the anger is suddenly gone and he just come closer to renjun, hugs him.
"is this our fate, their fate?" jaemin finally says something as he is still hugging renjun. the smaller guy slowly nodded his face, hiding his face on jaemin's chest. jaemin looking at renjun crying on his embrace, realizes about how it never feels weird to him, he is like exactly the same person with injoon since the beginning. renjun actually always felt the same too. they both didn't say anything for a few moments, trying to calm each other while still hugging.
renjun moves his body a bit, releases the hugs, his eyes are swollen.
"it's getting kinda hot, haha.." he awkwardly laughs then wipes his tears then sees jaemin's chest.
"oh my god, i'm sorry i wet your clothes... i—" renjun grabs some tissues then tried put it to jaemin's, tried to clean it but jaemin hold renjun's hand, closing the gap of their body again then pressed his lips on renjun's, make the smaller boy slowly close his eyes. jaemin moved his head to make the kiss deeper, like how they always do. renjun put his hand on jaemin's back, make them even closer.
they stop kissing after a few moments, trying to catch their breath, presses their foreheads and closes their eyes while laughing a bit.
"the fact that they decided to go.. means i have to accept you..." jaemin said with a soft voice.
"and i already accept you. from the first time we met." renjun opened his eyes and put his hands on jaemin's cheeks.
"actually i probably already have too... because a few days with you.. doesn't feel even weird..." jaemin boop renjun's nose.
"i'll.... try to call you ren— renjun?" jaemin unsure how to spell it, suddenly remembered that the guy in front of him is chinese. renjun shook his head "you can still call me injoon. he is part of me."
"then you can call me nana too." jaemin smiles.
"na.. na..." renjun's eyes are wet again after saying that name, it's been a while since the last time that name came out from his mouth.
"yes." jaemin pulled renjun's neck then kissed him again. fate might be being so weird and sounds impossible but they know they have to accept each other right now.
renjun suddenly pulled his face, stopping their kiss again.
"oh right. you have to apologize to jeno and jisung."
"you're right."
"where's your phone?" renjun realized that he didn't bring his phone in his pocket.
"... on my bag." jaemin answer after few moment tried to remember
"... and jeno has our bags. great." they are laughing. "this is stupid.."
"what about when we come to his home?" jaemin suggested.
"with a swollen face like this? no. i will send him an email from my laptop." renjun said while he got up and got his laptop but jaemin pulled his hand.
"i will tell him later but for now i feel like missing you so much." jaemin kissing renjun again. renjun can't fight him so he just kisses the other guy back.
dear nana and injoon,
how are you? are you guys meeting each other in heaven? i hope you are.
the fate is being unfair to all of us but i hope you guys didn't feel any pain anymore. i hope that you guys are in happiness just like how we used to be when we are together. just like we are now.
love,
jaemin & renjun