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What We Could Have Been

Summary:

Crowley and Aziraphale begin to separately wonder about the effects of breaking free from Heaven and Hell and averting the apocalypse.

***THIS IS UNFINISHED AND WILL PROBABLY REMAIN SO, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DELETE IT***

Chapter 1: Out

Chapter Text

They were out. Out of it all. They’d scared Heaven and Hell badly enough that they wouldn’t be messing with the pair again.

Crowley rubbed his arms. It was late summer, but that wasn’t stopping the sharp, cold breezes from cutting right through his jacket.

“Here, we can finally have that ice cream,” Aziraphale said. The angel hurried up to the ice cream cart, stopping the man from rolling it away.

Crowley still felt cold, but the sunlight hitting their usual bench was warm. He wasn’t so sure about eating ice cream already a step away from shivering, but Aziraphale had pushed it at him so happily that he hadn’t been able to turn it down.

The ducks didn’t look cold, and they had the excuse of being in the water.

Crowley bit his ice cream. His teeth froze.

Maybe if he had feathers, too, he wouldn’t be cold.

Aziraphale leaned his head back over the top of the bench. A tall knot of grass had grown up behind the wood. It tickled the back of his head.

Crowley dropped the remnants of the ice cream cone in the bin by the bench. Aziraphale sat up.

“Why did you get rid of it? Do you want a different flavor?”

“Mm?”

Aziraphale was already halfway to standing. “I’ll get you a different flavor.”

“No, no, I’m just a little cold, angel.” Crowley pulled Aziraphale back down to the bench.

The angel crossed his arms. “I’m sure we can find you some tea somewhere.”

“No, really,” Crowley said. He stretched his arms out, but at the last moment pulled his arm away from where it would have settled around Aziraphale’s shoulders. “I think I’ll just sit here and photosynthesize.”

Aziraphale glanced over at Crowley in concern. “Photosynthesizing is for plants, dear.”

“Ah, but we can be whatever we want to be now, right? No more temptations and no more miracles, not if we don’t want them.”

“No more old bookshops…” Aziraphale murmured.

“What about bookshops?”

“Last time we sat here and you said ‘no more.’ You said ‘no more old bookshops.’”

“Oh, well, thank somebody that I was wrong. Though I don’t think Adam got your place quite right, did he?”

“No, but I like it.” He did. The world was changing, and he could change a shelf of books right along with it.

“See.” The sun had warmed Crowley. He nearly felt he could sit there next to Aziraphale all day.

A duck splashed into the pond, flapping its wings before settling in amongst the water plants and other ducks. It had had a very long flight, and it hoped it had arrived before all the bread was gone.

Crowley let his gaze flit over the other people around the park. An elderly couple were sitting on a bench across the water. One was reading to the other.

A kid wobbled along the wall of the pond, carefully placing one foot in front of the other. A parent followed behind, worried over the state of dryness of their child.

Then Crowley found his gaze unable to move. He tried to bring his attention back to his ice cream, but some part of his brain wanted him to take notice of the woman his gaze was stuck on.

She was directly across the pond from him, and looked just like any other Londoner, standing in the shade of a tree. Her dark hair was held back by a running headband, and her deep brown skin was shining from sweat even under the shadow. She’d obviously just finished a workout of some sort.

She was staring him directly in the eye.

Or maybe he’d made that up. She glanced away immediately, then she shook her head and walked away from the pond, and vanished from Crowley’s line of sight entirely.

“Did you see that?” he asked Aziraphale, not turning his eyes from where the woman had been.

“What?”

“Uh…” Crowley glanced away from the spot. “No. Nothing, nevermind.”

“Let’s go back to the bookshop.” Aziraphale stood before Crowley could pull him back to sitting. “I want to check again to see what that boy did.”

“How many times have you checked already?”

“I’m not sure. Once more won’t hurt.”

“You know, nothing’s going to change from the last time.” Crowley stood. The pair began to walk.

“Have you got your car with you?”

“What, in my pocket?”

Aziraphale frowned at him.

“Yeah, it’s parked around the corner.” The breeze caught him again. Crowley shivered. “Let’s go.”