Chapter Text
We begin our tale in a land of bizarre people and great magics, over a kingdom made of sweet delights, where a yellow dog chased a unicorn with the body of a rainbow.
“Yeah, you think you're pretty way up there, but I can get you!” Jake the dog called to Lady Rainicorn, stretching his size and legs so that he was at the same level as his flying companion.
“나 잡아봐봐~!” Lady Rainicorn teased back, flying away.
Back down beneath them, in a graveyard, were three very different-looking people surrounding a table full of chemistry equipment.
First, was a human boy, who wore a blue shirt, slightly darker blue shorts, a backpack that was two different shades of green, and a white hat that completely covered his head.
Next, was a pink woman with darker pink hair, wearing a lab coat, safety goggles, and a crown. She was mainly the one using all the equipment.
Finally, there was a pale-skinned girl with pointed ears and black hair tied into pigtails. She wore a cutesy pink t-shirt, a blue skirt, and large yellow galoshes, with a large navy-blue duffle bag on her back.
“Alright. Let me just add three more drops of explosive diarrhea,” The pink woman said, using an eyedropper to add to a beaker with a neon coloured liquid inside. When she did, a plume of smoke in the shape of a skull appeared, before dispersing and revealing a bubbling neon green liquid.
“Oooh...” all three awed.
“Hey Princess Bubblegum, when we bring the dead back to life, will it be filled with worms?” the boy asked, wriggling his fingers.
“Finn, Bubblegum already explained this. No, they won’t have worms.” The young girl reminded Finn.”
“That’s right, Zoe.” Princess Bubblegum concurred, “If my decorpsinator serum works, all the dead Candy People will look as young and healthy as you two do.”
Finn gave a Tarzan yell whilst beating his chest, making Zoe cover her mouth and giggle.
“Alright, pick up that platter tough guy,” Bubblegum asked, having poured her serum into a syringe.
Finn did as he was asked and picked up a silver platter from the ground and uncovered it.
“Old Mr Creampuff?” Finn asked, seeing the candy corpse.
Zoe raised an eyebrow, “Wasn’t he that guy that your uncle ma-”
“Yep!” Princess Bubblegum hastily cut Zoe off before sticking the syringe into the corpse and injecting the serum into it. This caused the corpse of old Mr Creampuff to begin to glow and shake. The three onlookers crossed their fingers in anticipation.
“Something's happening! Come on, come on...” Finn urged.
The corpse then stood up and moaned, the serum liquid still dripping from both its eyes and mouth.
“Algebraic!” Finn cheered before Zoe put a hand on his shoulder and looked a bit closer at Mr Creampuff.
“Whoop. Nope. That’s a Zombie.” Zoe looked up to Bubblegum. “Bubblegum, you made a zombie.”
“Oh, cram!” Bubblegum cursed, “The decorpsinator serum is incomplete!”
“SUGAR!” the candy zombie cried before spewing the serum in the table, propelling itself off into the air.
“Ah!” all three alive people exclaimed, shielding themselves from the liquid. The candy zombie then landed in the large vat of different serum, turning it all into the zombification serum and spilling it all around the graveyard.
“Wuh-oh, that ain’t good,” Zoe commented.
“Are you sure it’s not working?” Finn asked. “They look fine ...ish.”
Zoe dope-slapped him.
“Heyyyy!” Finn complained, rubbing his head.
“Oh, this is really bad.” Princess Bubblegum stressed. “They're going to be attracted to the Candy Kingdom!”
“Huh? Why?” Finn asked. Zoe slapped him again. “Ow!”
“Finn, they’re candy zombies. Why do you think they’re going to be attracted to the Candy Kingdom.”
Finn thought for a moment before a look of realization washed over him. “Ohhhh...”
“Gimme sum sugar babee...” a candy zombie grabbed Princess Bubblegum’s leg.
“Chew on this!” Finn yelled as he punted the candy zombie away.
“Good one, Finn.” The pink princess giggled. “Quickly, to the kingdom!”
“Kshh, this is air Zoe to ground control, ready for lift-off, over, kshh.” Zoe said, mimicking a radio effect as she took Finn and Bubblegum’s hands and floated in the air.
“Kshh, this is ground control,” Finn replied in a similar manner, “Air Zoe, you are cleared for liftoff.”
Zoe then floated higher, pulling the other two with her out of the graveyard. The zombies tried to claw at them, but Finn kicked the only one that was getting close.
“Get a life!” He quipped.
-ZtDP-
“All citizens of the Candy Kingdom! Report to the palace, immediately!” Princess Bubblegum called through her speaker system as she rang the bell at the top of her castle.
Candy People start to flood out of their homes and into the streets towards the castle.
Finn and Zoe were already helping to corral the candy citizens through the palace doors.
"Alright, you heard the princess, everyone in! Alright, no pushing, come on!" Finn told the candy people.
“Come on guys, there’s room for everyone, don’t need to shove!” Zoe added, standing next to Finn.
Jake stops before his two best friends along with Lady Rainicorn. “Dudes, what's going on?”
“PB will explain everything, come on,” Finn answered.
“C’mon Tree Trunks, let’s get those hot buns of yours inside,” Zoe said to a small elderly elephant. She and Finn then slammed the doors now that everyone was safely inside.
“Did we get everyone?” Finn asked as Princess Bubblegum approached them.
“All present and accounted for.” Manfried, the piñata, informed.
“Cheers, Manfried,” Zoe gave him the thumbs-up.
“You’re welcome.”
“Citizens,” Bubblegum spoke to the large crowd, “we are assembled here in the candy foyer for a momentous announcement. Tonight we are all going to have... a slumber party!”
“What?!” “EH?!” both Zoe and Finn exclaimed as the crowd cheered.
“But princess what about the zom-mph!” Finn began before Princess Bubblegum’s hand slapped over his mouth.
“Go ahead and start partying!” The Princess diverted the citizen’s attention.
“Uh, BB, I really think we should be worrying about the zomb-mph!” Zoe tried pointing out before also being interrupted by Bubblegum’s hand.
“We’ll be right back everyone!” Princess Bubblegum called to the candy people as she quickly dashed to a nearby door whilst dragging Finn and Zoe behind her.
“Guys,” Bubblegum began speaking to the two twelve-year-olds, “the Candy People can't know about the zombies.”
“Wha?” Finn made a questioning sound.
“If they did, they would flip out.” Bubblegum explained.
“Wait, is this the thing where they explode if they’re scared?” Zoe asked, raising a brow and tilting her head to the side.
“Candy people explode when they’re scared?!” Finn exclaimed in shock at this revelation.
“Yes, I really do have to fix that. Something about popping candy follicles...” Bubblegum scratch her chin. “Anyway! Not telling the Candy People about the zombies is so important that you need to promise, Royal Promise, not to let anyone find out about the zombies, ever.”
“Okay, sure,” Finn replied casually.
“No, Finn. You have to Royal Promise.” PB emphasized.
“Yes,” Finn said as he kneeled, “I Royal Promise.”
Princess Bubblegum turned to Zoe, who had her arms folded.
“Is this going to anything like ‘the last time''” Zoe asked suspiciously.
“Nope. Nope. It most definitely won’t be like ‘the last time’.” Bubblegum answered confidently.
“Okay then,” Zoe shrugged before bowing, “I, also, Royal promise not to tell the candy people about the zombies.”
“Good. Now I must cloister myself in the lab and finish the equation to my decorpsinator serum. You keep the candy folk distracted and ignorant. Can you do that?” Princess Bubblegum asked.
“Sure thing BB,” Zoe nodded, Finn nodding also.
“Good. Don't tell anyone about the zombies. Never ever.” Bubblegum then turned and left.
“Oh, wait.” Finn thought of something as PB closed the door to her lab. “Can we at least tell Jake?”
“Tell me what dudes?” Jake asked, surprising the two kids.
“Ehhh... nothing Jake! Everything’s cool!” Zoe waved the question off, with an all too suspicious fanged grin.
“Alright, what's going on?” Jake chuckled.
“Uhhh...” Both tweens frantically looked for an answer that didn’t involve telling Jake about the candy zombies that were currently approaching the castle (albeit at a very, very, slow pace).
“Uhh, nothing at all, buddy!” Finn lied, stalling for Zoe to create a distraction.
Jake patted Finn’s arm. “Hey, dudes. I think yous two and Bubblegum are up to something.”
“Whoa, you guys are up to something. Is it some sort of prank? Can I get in on it?” Jake asked excitedly.
“Who wants to play truth or dare?” Zoe quickly called from further into the party, distracting Jake’s immediate attention.
“Phew,” Finn breathed a sigh of relief as he and Jake, along with some candy people, gathered around Roxy for truth or dare.
“Ok, Chocoberry,” Zoe announced, “you may ask someone to tell a deep, dark truth, or, a super, saucy dare.”
“Mr Cupcake, truth or dare?” Chocoberry asked a beefy cupcake.
“Dare.” Mr Cupcake answered swiftly.
“I dare you... to take off your wrapper.”
Everyone oohed and pointed at Mr Cupcake in reaction to Chocoberry’s dare.
While Mr Cupcake completed the dare, Jake nudged Zoe and Finn.
“Hey seriously, dudes. I'm your bro. Bros are supposed to tell bros everything all the time. What are you guys and Bubblegum up to? Is everything alright?”
“Well, Jake, do I currently have a slice of cake in my hand?” Zoe pointed to her empty, outstretched palm.
“No?” Jake answered, confused.
“Then no, Jake everything is not okay, for I do not have cake,” Zoe stated matter-a-factly.
“Heheh, good one.” Jake chuckled, forgetting what he was asking.
“Whoa,” Finn said simply.
“Huh?” Zoe said, turning to Finn. “Finn what are you... oh. Oh yeah, whoa.”
Mr Cupcake had taken off his wrapper to reveal a chocolate bod.
“Jake, truth or dare?” Mr Cupcake pointed at Jake.
“Truth.” Jake shrugged.
“Do you prefer chocolate, or fudge?”
“Hmm,” Jake thought, “I can't eat chocolate or fudge 'cause I'm a dog and they'd probably kill me, but hmmmmm probably... neither. Finn! Truth or dare?” Jake whipped around to point at the human boy.
“Dare!” Finn proclaimed, standing up and pointing back.
“I dare you...” Jake scratched his chin, “to tell me the truth about what's going on in your mind. What were you, Zoe and Bubblegum talking about when you were alone together?”
‘Oh no! My distracting wasn’t enough!’ Zoe thought frantically.
“mm, ahh, the truth is, ahhh...” Finn stammered as he began to imagine Princess Bubblegum’s face over Jake’s.
“You promised you wouldn't freakin' tell anyone! Oh, you're so cute, Finn.” Finn’s imaginary Princess Bubblegum said.
“Ahhh... the truth is... that I'd rather play Dodge Socks!” Finn said hastily, throwing a sock a Jake.
“I'm not playing dodge socks 'til you stop dodging my questions,” Jake said, sniffing the sock that was on his nose. “Hey... Old Mr Cream Puff? Isn't he dead?”
Both Finn and Zoe frantically tried to take the sock back. “Hey, give me my sock back! Dodge Socks was a bad idea!”
“Whoa. Look, dudes, just tell me what's up, 'cause you two are crazier than a pair of cannonballs tonight.” Jake said angrily.
Finn wasn’t paying attention and was instead looking out the window behind Jake, which had a great view... of the oncoming candy zombie hoard.
‘Oh, my goodness! Princess hasn't finished the equation and the zombies are here!’ Finn thought.
‘Finn, we need a distraction.’ Zoe thought also.
‘Right!’ Finn agreed. Before realizing something. ‘Wait, how are you doing that?’
‘I’ll tell you later. Now distract Jake whilst I barricade the windows!” Zoe stressed.
“I, uh, she just want this slumber party to be super fun, and if I did have something to tell you, then I would in a second, and it would make my life easier, unless there was something stopping me, like a promise, but there isn't, so I won't, so it's cool.” Finn ranted to Jake, constantly switching which side of the dog he was on.
This successfully drew Jake’s attention away from Zoe who had taken a hammer, nails and wooden planks out of her duffel bag and began putting up the planks to stop the windows from being opened. But as she was doing that, a thought occurred to her. She quickly made her way back to Finn, arms still full of wood, as the boy finished putting Jake in a closet with Lady Rainicorn.
“Hey, Finn. Did like, all the windows open inwards, or only some of them? Cuz I just put up like a bunch of wood, and don’t want to be wrong on this.” Zoe asked.
“I think, all of them?” Finn shrugged.
“Umm, does anyone else hear that?” A candy person asked as a banging sound began emanating from the door behind him.
“What? Hear what? I, I don't hear anything.” Finn tried to play it off. This only caused the rest of the candy people to notice the noise and murmur amongst themselves.
“I hear something I don't understand... and it makes me scared!” The candy person began shaking.
“What? No, Chet. Everybody, wait. What noise? You mean this noise?” Zoe rhetorically asked as she pulled a boombox out of her bag and hit the ‘play’ button. The candy people quickly forgot about the banging noise (not that they could hear it over the music anyway) and began dancing along with Finn and Zoe.
“Yeah! Dance it! Bust it up! Uh! Uh! Uh!” Finn called to the dancers before noticing a candy zombie attempting to come through the door it had been banging on. “Zo! Zombie at twelve o'clock!” Finn whisper-yelled to Zoe. Zoe nodded, and using her flight powers, did an extended front-flip over the crowd of candy people to slam the door closed on the zombie and begin to board it up.
“What is this game you are playing at now, Zoe?” Chocoberry asked.
“Uhh, it's... Blockado! The game of barricades!” Zoe quickly answered. “Come on, let's block all the entrances and windows!”
The Candy People cheered and began blockading the doors and windows before the zombies could burst indoors.
“Okay, Finn,” Zoe said to her best friend who had moved to help her blockade the front door, “this isn’t going to hold the zombies forever, so we need a more permanent solution.”
“Yeah, and we need to find it before everyone finds out.” Finn agreed.
“Find out about what Finn?” Manfried asked, still hanging from the ceiling.
“Manfried, the talking piñata! Your convenient appearance gives me a great idea.” Finn said, a lightbulb going off in his head. “Everyone, grab a stick! New game! We're gonna smash some piñatas!” Finn then called to the candy crowd as Zoe handed him a wooden bat from her bag.
“What?” Manfried asked, worried for their safety.
“Except for you, Manfried.” Finn clarified.
"Oh, thank goodness."
“Now everyone put on these blindfolds!” Zoe instructed as she began handing people blindfolds from her bag.
“Hey, Zoe, why do you have so many blindfolds?” Finn asked. Zoe just shrugged and continued to hand out blindfolds.
"Alright, everybody, get together. We're hanging the piñatas," Finn lied as the candy zombies began to break through the barricades, "They're all around you. Smash the piñatas!"
The Candy people began to swing their sticks into the zombies, smashing their frailly held together bodies apart, spilling their gross candy zombie ‘blood’.
Which the candy people started eating. Zoe resisted the urge to hurl.
“Yeah!” Finn cheered, high-fiving Zoe. “Our improbable plan worked!”
Just as the zombies had finished dying for a second time, the closet Finn had put Jake and Lady in opened.
"Seven minutes up yet?" Jake asked, grabbing a doughnut from... somewhere, before actually noticing what had happened. "Whoa! What the nuts happened here?!"
“Zombies,” Zoe said simply.
“Really?!” Jake exclaimed, spurting the jelly filling out of his doughnut.
“Yeah,” Finn concurred, “but we did kill all the zombies that Zoe, Princess Bubblegum and I raised from the dead.”
After saying that, everything around Zoe and Finn was granted a blue tint and stopped moving.
“Wha? Huh?” Finn asked dumbly looking around. Zoe just smacked the back of his head. “Hey!” Finn exclaimed, rubbing his head again, “What’d I do this time?”
Bubblegum then chose this moment to exit the door leading to one of her labs. “What? Huh-oh, Finn! Did you break your Royal Promise?”
"Yeah, but, I mean, all the zombies are dead. The Candy People won't freak out. What's the big deal?" Finn questioned, "Hey! Why didn't you think Zoe broke her promise?"
“Cuz Zoe knows that it’s really, really bad, Finn. You can't break Royal Promises. Never, ever, never. No matter what, forever.” The ground then began to shake. “The Gumball Guardians are coming to enforce royal promise law.”
A giant hand burst through the roof and grabbed all three of them.
“Finn the Human. You have broken a Royal Promise for which the penalty is trial by fire." The Guardian announced, breathing fire. “In which we throw you into fire.”
“Wait, what about me?” Zoe asked, a little confused about why she wasn’t being punished.
“You did not violate your royal promise.”
Zoe thought about that for a moment before smacking her forehead. “Uh, duh me! I promised not to tell the candy people, not Jake! Aw man this could have been so much easier.”
“Yeah, well this thing is still stupid,” Finn said.
Princess Bubblegum then stoped the Guardians from tossing Finn into the fire, "Wait! He's my friend! Isn't there another option?!"
“Yes. Because you care for the promise-breaker, we will give him a less, hot, trial. You must now answer…Math questions!"
“Mathmatical!” Finn cheered.
“You suck at math dude.” Zoe reminded.
“Oh right...”
"Now, solve this!" The Guardian put up a hologram projection of an extremely hard and complicated math that problem the only one of them that could probably solve it was Princess Bubblegum.
“Uhhhhhhh...”
"Oh, wait, wait, I thought of a better one." The guardian said, pulling down the hologram and putting up another one.
“Yes! Two plus two! Solve it or die.”
“Uhh. Four, right?” Finn more asked than answered.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The Gumball Guardians laughed. “...Oh. Correct.”
Guardians’ heads then exploded, and time began to rewind, and night becomes day. The second Guardian's head comes back, and he talks backwards before going back to sitting and blowing bubbles around the Candy Kingdom.
“What's happening, Princess?” Finn asks.
"You've defeated the broken royal promise! The Gumball Guardians are resetting!" PB yelled back.
Finn, Zoe, and Princess Bubblegum were then teleported back into the Candy Kingdom, inside PB’s Lab.
"Slamacow! That was tops! Who's not good at math? I was all 'Four'!" Finn celebrated his victory.
Princess Bubblegum then got a quizzical look on her face. "Four, four... Four, four, four... That's it! The answer was so simple, I was too smart to see it!"
"You're welcome!" Finn said
“You don’t even know what she’s talking about, do you, Finn?” Zoe asked with a smile at her friend.
“Nope!”
“'4' is the last figure I need to perfect my decorpsinator serum!” The Princess explained, writing the number four on her chalkboard.
Back in the foyer, Bubblegum poured a decorpsinator serum (this time complete) on one of the destroyed zombies completely restoring it to life.
“Golly!” the now alive candy person said.
The three continued to pour the complete serum all over the rest of the zombies that were scattered around.
"This is messed up, but sweet," Jake said, watching the candy people come back to life.
"진짜로." Lady agreed.
Finn, Zoe and Bubblegum continued to revive more of the corpses.
“Uncle Chewy!”
“Grandma!”
“Formerly dead relative!”
“Starchie!” Jake cheered.
“Mornin’.” Starchie greeted.
Jake then walked over to where Zoe and Finn were. “Man, you broke a Royal Promise? You're nuts. All you had to do is say that it was a royal secret. I know what's up.”
“Hey, why doesn’t anyone think Zoe broke the promise?” Finn asked.
“Because I'm more responsible than you Finn,” Zoe answered.
“Hehe, yeah...”
Princess Bubblegum then approached the two.
“I hope you grasp the full consequences of breaking promises, Finn.”
“Heck yeah! If I break a Royal Promise, I get to fight zombies, throw slumber parties, awake Gumball Guardians and... and...”
“Finn, not the lesson here.” Zoe interrupted.
“Oh,”
“Oh, you are adorable. But keep your promises, okay?” Bubblegum asked.
“I will, Princess.”
Finn then looked down when he felt Starchie chewing on his leg. “Starchie, you're not a zombie,” Finn told him, picking the candy person up.
“I can’t help it, flesh is delicious!”
“You’re delicious!”
“Don’t squeeze me I’ll fart!”
PFFFFFT!