Chapter Text
The sky kept getting gloomier, the sun was probably about to set now, but there was no way of telling if it was actually true since it was well hidden behind the heavy dark clouds. It was raining cats and dogs, the gruesome echo of raindrops falling on the dilapidated temple roof wafted through the air in a rhythmical pitter-patter.
Xie Lian leaned against the rotten wall, glaring at the empty road and the ominous sky. It didn’t look like the rain would stop anytime soon and he still had a fifteen-minute walk home ahead. But he wasn’t in rush, and there wasn’t anything he could do about the rain so he just waited. It was a small street, completely empty. Chances that someone would be passing by and would lend him an umbrella were close to none, especially in this weather.
He lazily scrolled through the feed on the apps but soon the low battery sign forced him to put the phone down. He was pondering if he should use one of the discarded wooden planks from the temple as a shield and make a run for it or if he should just sprint to the closest store and buy something for the rain when suddenly he heard a strange tinkle coming from the road.
Cautiously, he peered out from his shelter, minding to keep his head under the roof.
There was a boy on the road. A young boy in his early twenties, maybe even still a teenager in a fancy red coat, that stood out even more because of his pale skin. His dark hair was pulled into a casual ponytail, in his hand, he was holding a huge umbrella, just as red as the coat. There were some silver chains attached to his boots, they were to blame for the sound that drew Xie Lian’s attention.
The boy gaped at Xie Lian with his bright amber eyes as if he’s seen a ghost. Xie Lian thought the boy looked more like a ghost than himself but he guessed it was okay. At first, he thought that he did something unspeakable that young people these days would approve, his bets were on the worn-out white sweatshirt with sunflowers on it he was wearing, it certainly has seen better days. But, the boy kept staring a little too long for it just to just because of a fashion misstep.
Hesitantly, Xie Lian spoke up.
“Uhm... Hi?”
“Gege,” the boy whispered, still looking at him with his eyes wide open.
“Do we know each other?” Xie Lian asked shyly.
The teenager shivered a little, his composure has gotten completely lost for a second. But then, he immediately after, he regained it, putting on a cocky, impish smile. “We’ve met briefly, a few years ago. You were a volunteer at the camp I got sent to as a kid. It’s okay if you don’t remember me, there were a lot of annoying brats there, you had your hands full.”
Xie Lian felt right away that it was a lie and that he should remember this boy. Yet he didn’t recognize the face at all. He strained his memory, trying to remember all the young boys he met as a volunteer but nothing came to his mind.
“Sorry, I don’t recognize you... Maybe if you would remind me your name...”
Teenager chuckled softly, and for no particular reason, the weather didn’t seem so gloomy to Xie Lian anymore.
“It doesn’t matter if you remember me, I remember you. And you were... really good to me when I was younger. It was hard for me back then and talking to you helped me a lot,” the boy said, a little more quietly. “It seems like you don’t have an umbrella, can I walk you home?”
“That’s nice of you,” Xie Lian smiled. “Just to the nearest convenience store is enough, I’ll get my own umbrella there.”
“I insist.”
His smile was a little bit aloof, mischievous even but the eyes were sincere. Usually, Xie Lian didn’t allow himself to grab too much of others' kindness but faced with those sincere eyes, he could only say, “Okay.”
The smile turned into a happy grin and Xie Lian felt strange warmth spread in his heart. The boy stretched out his hand, inviting him under the umbrella. He had long, elegant fingers with a piece of thread wrapped around the middle one. Fingernails were painted red and black.
Xie Lian quickly picked up his backpack from the ground and took his hand and allowed the boy to pull him in. Their fingers barely brushed against each other, letting go as soon as Xie Lian was hidden safely from the rain under the roof of the umbrella.
“Your hands are cold,” the boy commented.
“It’s okay. Probably it’s because I’ve been out for a while.”
The teenager looked a little worried. He pulled Xie Lian by the sleeve back to the temple, placed the umbrella on the ground, and took off his dark backpack, looking for something. Xie Lian noticed some brushes and pencil case sticking out from it, as well as a few notebooks. Pale hands fished out a dark thermos covered in doodles that looked like they were made by the boy himself. He opened it, poured what smelled like floral tea into a cup.
“Here you are, gege. It will warm you up,” he offered it to Xie Lian.
He was a really good boy, Xie Lian thought, taking the cup. “Thank you, that’s very kind. Let’s sit down?” he suggested.
They ended up seating in the corner of the small temple, on the same wooden planks that Xie Lian planned to use to cover himself from rain. The boy watched him carefully, with a content, slightly dreamy smile on his face. Xie Lian didn’t want to just take his kindness so he pulled out from his bag the one steamed bun he had left from lunch and broke it in half, making the boy visibly happy.
“Thank you, gege,” he said, taking a small bite.
“Sorry I don’t have more,” Xie Lian took a sip of the tea. It was good, warm, and tasted strongly of jasmine. “You never told me your name.”
“You can call me San Lang.”
“Then San Lang it is,” Xie Lian announced with an accepting smile. “Have some tea too, please.”
“If gege insists,” the boy gave him a devilishly handsome grin. He snatched away the cup, drank a little, promptly handing it back. “Just as I expected it tastes way better when it’s shared with gege.”
“Hm, if you say so,” Xie Lian replied, pushing the subtext deep down his consciousness, doing his best to dismiss it completely but it just wasn’t working. “I think it is just that your tea is good, San Lang.”
“Hm, if gege says so,” the youth mimicked him playfully. “Remember to bring your umbrella the next time the forecast says it’s going to rain. Take care of yourself, gege.”
“I’ll try to.”
San Langs eyes were intense, full of worry and some strange devotion that Xie Lian couldn’t quite put his finger on. The boy might have seemed light-spirited at first glance, mischievous and carefree but there was something tremendously deep and ominous about him. But more than anything, it made Xie Lian want to hug him tight to his chest and say that it’s all right and everything will be okay.
They watched the rain in comfortable silence for a moment. The bun and the tea disappeared slowly, without a rush. Raindrops were falling on the temple roof and the ground in a calming cadence.
“But I must say, this is quite pleasant,” Xie Lian confessed finishing the tea. “With my bad luck, I expected to run home completely drenched.”
“It must be my good luck rubbing off on you,” San Lang tittered. “Ready to go, gege?
“Yeah.”
The boy put the thermos back in his backpack and stood up, offering Xie Lian a helping hand. Once again they touched, although briefly. San Lang’s skin was rather cold but not in an unpleasant way. Xie Lian’s noticed that while it was quite delicate and smooth in general, the fingertips were a little callused, maybe it was related to the art supplies? Or maybe San Lang some instrument?
Xie Lian rarely wanted something from life, demanding less and more focusing on being happy with what he was getting but now he felt extremely curious about the boy. He wanted to know more.
They walked the rainy streets slowly, close to each other to avoid getting wet. The red umbrella was big but not big enough to allow them to walk far apart from each other.
“San Lang, are you an art student? I noticed a lot of supplies in your bag,” Xie Lian mentioned casually.
“I graduated two years ago, now it’s mostly just for fun. But maybe I’ll go back to get my masters, who knows.”
Quick math over San Lang’s age made Xie Lian trip.
“How old are you, San Lang?” he stuttered, his voice shaking a little.
“Twenty-four.”
Hah, twenty-four. And he said Xie Lian was a volunteer at the camp when they met and San Lang was still a kid back then.
Xie Lian did volunteer work at the camps for disadvantaged children in his late teens, a lifetime ago. For the last few years, he’s been convincing himself that he would go there again but he never had time, there was always work or some other obligations.
He felt so old.
The only thing he could do was to make a sad joke about it. “San Lang, how dare you look like a high schooler and then come out like that, you’re making me feel like an old man...”
Instead of laughter he expected, he got a solemn glare.
“I do not consider gege old. I never did and never will.”
“Shows some respect you had for me as a teacher,” Xie Lian couldn’t resist a little sarcasm.
“Hm,” the mischievous smile was back on his face. “Maybe it does. But you had my deepest admiration back then, gege. I had a horrible crush on you by the time the camp was over, and it grew into a truly disastrous one. Just as bad as confused insecure thirteen-year-old boy’s crush can get.”
Xie Lian laughed. “This does sound like a terrible mistake only a thirteen-year-old can make! I’m glad you’ve grown up and can joke about it!”
Sang Lang bites his lip nervously. It’s just a scarce second but Xie Lian notices. His tone changes immediately. “Did I hurt your feelings?” he asks in a panic. “I’m sorry.”
And the impish grin is back on the boy’s face just as if nothing has happened.
“It’s perfectly all right, gege. What are you up to now? Still volunteering at camps and stealing teenagers' hearts?”
“I am not going around stealing hearts, San Lang, I am not attractive enough to manage that,” he chuckled. “But I do volunteer sometimes if I have the time in the summer. Although less and less...”
“Will you go this summer?”
“I don’t think so,” Xie Lian said pensively. “I have a quite pleasant job right now and I’d like to believe I will still have by the summer. Hopefully.”
“Where do you work?”
“I have a small startup workshop. I find things people want to throw out and make them useful again.”
“That’s so sweet. And it suits you perfectly. Can I come by sometime? I’m quite skillful.”
“You sound like a man of many talents, San Lang.”
“I get by,” the young man shrugged.
“And one who has a lot of time at hand to hang out at an old man’s workshop,” Xie Lian added with a soft chortle.
“Gege, you’re not even thirty, I think,” San Lang rolled his eyes dramatically. “And I do have time. I’m only doing a small music project with acquaintances right now, nothing more. I would love to come over.”
“Acquaintances? Not friends?” Xie Lian gave him a worried look.
“One owes me a ton of money, the other tons of favors. I’m not going to call them friends until they pay me back,” the boy answered, perfectly innocent.
“Sounds reasonable. Make sure to treat them well in the meantime.”
“If gege insists, I may. But no promises.”
Xie Lian laughed again but suddenly he got cut off by a flash of lightning followed immediately by a loud thunder close by. He unconsciously reached out to grab San Lang sleeve.
“We should hurry. Do you live far from here, San Lang?” he asked, letting go and quickening his step.
“Not too far. But not exactly near.”
The perfectly vague answer, Xie Lian didn’t neglect to notice. “I think the weather is only going to get worse now, maybe you would like to stay at my place until it quiets down? I will cook us some dinner.”
Feng Xin and Mu Qing’s angry faces, yelling at him for letting suspicious strangers into his home, came to his mind but they paled in comparison to San Lang’s content expression.
“I would love to. It won’t be too much trouble for you?”
“Of course not. Consider it a thank you for lending me your umbrella and walking me home. You probably saved me from a certain cold, San Lang.”
“It’s nothing. I would be happy to walk you home in the rain anytime.”
Xie Lian gave him a gentle nudge on the side.
“Now you sound cheesy.”
“Sorry, it must be my old, youthful crush resurfacing,” the boy answered to the accusation with a toothy grin.
The wind kept getting stronger and another lighting stoke dangerously close to them but fortunately they managed to reach Xie Lian’s little house before the storm started for good.
Downstairs, there was a small cramped workshop, full of bits and pieces of everything, there was an old chair by the window that has certainly seen better days, a picture frame with flaking off paint, a broken lamp on the workbench, and countless other items.
They didn’t linger, even though Xie Lian was conscious of San Lang’s curious glances around the room, and took the stairs leading to Xie Lian’s little studio apartment. There wasn’t much there, just a kitchenette, an armchair, a bed covered with a blanket that served also as a couch, a small table, and a bookshelf and a closet, most of which he recovered to the state of usability by himself.
Still, it was far from being considered a nice décor. He suddenly felt embarrassed bringing San Lang here, the boy who clearly was rather well-off, judging by his clothes and style. Still, the boy beamed looking around the room.
“It’s so warm and homey. I like it,” he announced seriously, making Xie Lian feel a little bit lighter.
“Thank you, San Lang.”
The shoes and coats got taken off, the umbrella got put down in the bathroom to dry without endangering the wooden floor in the apartment. As turned out, San Lang was wearing an equally red sweater under the red coat, which Xie Lian found endearing. Even San Lang’s socks were black with small peppers printed on them. The boy liked red that was sure.
“Gege, what are we making? I’ll help.”
“What would you like to eat, San Lang?” Xie Lian asked, moving to the fridge, relieved to find that there were quite a lot of vegetables there.
“I’ll eat whatever gege will give me. I’m not picky, so don’t worry,” he said, the amber eyes still scanning the room. Suddenly, they spotted a mint dress thrown carelessly on the armchair’s wing and froze. Out of the blue, San Lang’s voice became colder, with a hint of sad disappointment. “Oh. Gege has a girlfriend.”
Xie Lian’s eyes jolted to the place where Hua Cheng’s glare focused. A long exasperated sigh escaped his lips when he saw the dress.
“I don’t have a girlfriend but a chaotic, messy friend who stays over whenever they have a falling out with their brother. But they are a very nice person, kind and warm-hearted. It’s just that their head is always in the clouds and they forget to put things back where they should be.”
The tension that was keeping San Lang stiff seemed to have eased with this declaration and the boy went back to being his usual aloof self.
“You’re smiling when you talk about them, gege, they must be a good friend.”
“They are,” Xie Lian said, picking the dress Shi Qingxuan carelessly left out in the open and hang it in the closet. “But San Lang, I have to warn you. When I last cooked for them, they cried. I will do my best to make something better tonight but I’m not much of a cook and you have been warned.”
“And I told you I’m not a picky eater,” the boy repeated with a lopsided grin playing at his lips. “Your friend is so weak, gege.”
“They are n... okay, maybe they do have a little more refined tastes than what I can make in my humble kitchen,” Xie Lian admitted. “You said you would like to help? Could you chop the onion?”
“Of course, gege.”
It turned out San Lang was pretty skilled with knives too, the vegetables for the stew got chopped in no time. And he still managed to talk, while cutting them, engaging Xie Lian in casual conversation.
More or less forty minutes later, the ominous smell from the pot wafted through the air, asserting Xie Lian in his worry that this time also he wouldn’t be able to make something tasty and most he could count on was that that food would still be edible.
“I’m so sorry, San Lang. You don’t have to eat it, really. We can order pizza. But maybe when it stops raining, I would feel bad for the delivery man if he would have to drive in this weather...”
San Lang looked at the boiling stew with an inscrutable expression. Then he spoke up, his voice a little more quiet, uncertain and vulnerable than usual.
“I want to eat it.”
“San Lang, you shouldn’t, it may be dangerous. And it will taste horrible.”
“I honestly doubt it. You know, when I was a boy, everything I ate was disgusting,” he said, determination vibrating in his voice. “It probably wasn’t because it actually tasted bad but... I thank maybe just because my family hated me and I hated them in back. So now I don’t really care about the taste of food really, more about the emotions behind it. And I really want to eat what gege made for me.”
“San Lang. It will be disgusting.”
“It won’t,” he said without even a shadow of a doubt in his tone.
“Do you promise not to force yourself if you don’t like it after one spoon?” Xie Lian demanded seriously.
San Lang finally looked up at him and Xie Lian got suddenly completely struck by those eyes. Focused but playful and at the same time sincere and so easy to get lost in. He had no idea who San Lang was but he knew at this moment, that he wanted him to stay.
To come by again, come by often.
He felt greedy again, it was strange to crave for something, he didn’t allow himself to feel this way for years now.
But he knew it would be short-lived. The stew would certainly scare anyone away, even San Lang.
“But of course I will like it, I like gege,” the boy claimed, his lips curved in a confident, lopsided smirk.
“San Lang, be serious,” Xie Lian nudged him on the side softly, desperately fighting inside the hope that San Lang was right.
“I am deadly serious. Will it make you happy if I promise?”
“Certainly it will ease my nerves,” Xie Lian sighed. “As long as you will actually keep the promise.”
“Okay, okay,” San Lang chuckled. “I would never break a promise I made to you.”
“Because you had a crush on me when you were thirteen?”
“Of course that too. But mostly because I genuinely like you as a person. Very much.”
Even though the tone San Lang used was casual, Xie Lian’s heart skipped a bit and it made him feel a little warmer inside.
They sat down at the table and Xie Lian watched in bewilderment as San Lang ate the whole bowl of the stew and even asked for seconds, cocky smile glued to his face.
A wild thought crossed Xie Lian’s mind, a brave and dangerous one. He could get used to seeing this smile. He could get used to San Lang in his small apartment, he could get used to the way they talked.
He knew that with his bad luck good things rarely seemed to last but maybe that boy’s good luck would indeed rub off on him. He really wished it would be possible.
The rain pattered ominously against the panes. The mood should be inauspicious but it was the opposite ever since San Lang arrived. And somehow, he managed to make Xie Lian feel more hopeful about the future than he did in months, maybe even years.