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Killjoy always had it very clear to herself what she liked and didn't like. She liked to have everything under control, to have some peace and quiet, to have her lab messy just the way it was -- but messy in a way she always knew where everything was. It didn't make sense to keep things perfectly organized, because it just gets lost with work, but she had a system.
Killjoy definitely didn't like the loud sounds and all the mess of a party. She liked silence, not the indistinguishable noise of conversations around her and music that didn’t let her hear anyone who tried to talk to her. She didn't like to talk about things people usually talk about at parties, or rather, she didn't know how. She could speak in front of an audience perfectly, but a one on one conversation about the weather was unpredictable. Killjoy liked her comfort zone.
She didn't know how she had let Brimstone drag her over to that event. She needed collaborators for her project, that was true, but the fundraiser could have happened very well without her.
“You know you're going to get a lot more funds if they like the person they're giving their money to, Killjoy. They need to talk to you,” he had said. "Besides, it will do you some good to leave your lab every now and then."
So there she was, in an annoyingly tight suit -- but still preferable to any too tight and restrictive dress -- standing in a corner of the party, counting the minutes until it was acceptable for her to leave. Around her, well-dressed people in better-fitting suits and dresses with just the right amount of cleavage discussed current events that Killjoy knew nothing about. Maybe she really needed to get out of the lab more.
She took the rest of her third -- maybe fourth -- glass of champagne, and brushed her bangs off her face. She didn’t really have the habit of putting her hair up, and it had only occurred to her that it would be a good idea to look more dressed up when she arrived, and well, by then it was too late. She looked around the room, looking for someone she knew or at least had already talked to.
She had already spent half the party following Brimstone, and it was starting to get annoying even for her. As much as it was more comfortable to be close to him than alone in a corner, there was a limit to how many conversations about "the old days'' and terrible dad jokes she could hear. She knew some of the other scientists who were involved with the fundraiser, but Aamir had probably left early with his wife and son, and Sabine seemed to be very involved in a conversation with a tall woman with piercing eyes that looked strangely purple in the low lights of the party, and Killjoy had no interest in interrupting them.
The list of people she knew well enough to be more comfortable with was very short.
Something stood out when Killjoy scanned the room. A jacket colored in a light blue green tone, not discreet at all, among all the dark suits and dresses in sober tones. Well, a person with a blue green jacket, of course. Wherever she went, the guests turned to look. Because that person, that woman, clearly hadn't been invited.
She had dark hair tied in thin braids, and the jacket was just part of the bold and flashy look she had chosen: a crop top in a pretty shade of dark blue, baggy pants, and sneakers in a bright red tone. Gott , she was wearing sneakers. What was she doing here?
Even with everyone looking at her, looking totally out of place, the girl looked like she had been born at a party. She didn't seem uncomfortable for an instant, heading for the dance floor that had so far been barely used by the wealthy and well-behaved guests. A song with a little more beat had started playing, and she did the most insane thing Killjoy could imagine at that moment. She started to dance.
Killjoy could see that everyone who had noticed the girl's presence was looking at her as if asking, 'How did she have the courage to come here like that?' Killjoy wondered the same thing, but with a twinge of admiration. She had spent the whole party trying to look comfortable in a suit, and that woman actually looked chill when all the rules dictated that she should look like a fish out of water. And she even seemed to be having fun, as if all she wanted in life was to dance, here and now.
Her energy was contagious, and Killjoy had never seen anyone dance so well. She had never had the urge to dance in front of a room full of people looking at her, but she found herself taking a few steps forward before she realized where she was going. She was strong for drinking, but maybe she had drank a little too much.
Killjoy's movement did not go unnoticed. In a crowd that looked at the girl like she was crazy, Killjoy had stepped closer, and the girl offered Killjoy a smile that could have made her knees go weak. And then -- mein Gott -- she winked at Killjoy, and she felt like she could do anything for one more look from that girl.
It was as if she could see herself walking to the dance floor, but wasn’t in control of her movements. She could hear her thoughts asking ‘what are you doing?’, but she still kept going. When the girl turned and saw Killjoy at the edge of the dance floor, she flashed a smile so sincere that Killjoy could have died right then and there.
The girl held out her hand, and against all her instincts, Killjoy took it.
In a second she was in the middle of the dance floor, with the girl smiling and dancing while she held both of Killjoy's hands. She felt all the looks on her, as the girl spun around and took Killjoy, moving clumsily, along with her. That had been such a bad idea, Killjoy thought -- now she couldn't even watch from a distance while the girl danced.
"Don't look at them," the girl said, noticing her discomfort. "Look at me."
Killjoy looked into her eyes, the most sincere eyes she had ever seen, and felt the tension in her shoulders lessen, her arms being moved more easily by the girl's movements. The girl smiled, and Killjoy smiled back. She started dancing too, hesitant at first -- she didn't really know how to dance -- but it was all worth it when the girl laughed and twirled Killjoy in her arms, pulling her closer.
The distance between them was so small now. The girl was a source of tension, and all the energy that emanated from her reached Killjoy, joining the two in a net of field lines that left the air between them electrified. She felt her breathing getting heavier, and she could blame it on her sedentary lifestyle and all the time spent in the lab, but it would be a lie.
But Killjoy had to admit that it was fun. Her smile had stopped -- mostly -- being a nervous smile, and she was making up dance moves while the girl moved her hips like she had been born for that. The girl smiled at her like they were sharing a joke that no one else understood.
The music they were dancing to ended, and it was like an illusion had been broken. Suddenly Killjoy realized that she was still at the party, surrounded by people who were looking at her, and she froze for a moment. Another song started to play, a slower one now, but it was too late.
Killjoy started to pull away unconsciously, realizing how close she was to the girl, realizing that they were still holding hands -- what she was thinking, that had been such an awful idea -- she didn't want to let go of the girl’s hand but she couldn't stay there another second -- the girl approached again and said, softly:
"You wanna get out of here?"
Killjoy would have been scared off, but looking into her eyes the girl seemed genuinely concerned -- well, not concerned, but wanting Killjoy to be comfortable. And the thing that Killjoy wanted most was to get out of everyone’s sights.
She nodded, and the girl smiled. She started to make her way through the guests, taking Killjoy -- Gott , she was still holding Killjoy's hand -- to the back door of the hall. Some part of Killjoy knew that she shouldn't be leaving that party early, that she should be staying longer, and what would Brimstone think? But it all seemed like small concerns when she felt the girl's hand in hers.
The back door led to a quiet but well-lit street, and the cool night air brought silence with it, away from unintelligible conversation and indistinct noise. The sound of the music spread, muffled, to the night behind them.
"You okay?" the girl asked.
Killjoy nodded, before realizing that she had barely opened her mouth since she met the girl -- did it count as ‘meeting someone’ when you don’t even know the person’s name? "Ah-- yes! I’m alright,” she said with a nervous laugh.
The girl smiled -- it seemed easy to make her smile, but still, it left Killjoy a little bewildered every time. “Sorry if I ruined the party. My friends dared me to go inside and see how long I’d last before they kicked me out,” she said, laughing. Killjoy found herself laughing along. It was such an absurd situation, so far from what she was used to -- but she wanted to see what was going to happen next.
"How long did you stay?"
“Oh, no clue. About 5 minutes?” she laughed. “Ah não, I think that means Breach won the bet. But I think I won, cause nobody kicked me out.”
"Sorry I made you leave too early," Killjoy said.
“Don't sweat it! It was way more fun dancing with you.” She looked right into Killjoy's eyes. The German's heart started to beat faster.
"Ah-- uh, what's your name?" Killjoy asked, awkwardly -- it seemed like something she should know, if she had danced with her and left the party with her and her heart was beating that fast just by looking her in the eyes.
"Isadora, but my friends call me Raze."
"Why Raze?"
"Why not Raze?" she laughed.
Killjoy couldn’t argue against that. "Fair enough," she laughed. "And what should I call you?"
She shrugged. "Izzie?"
"Izzie," Killjoy repeated. She was much taller than Izzie, and she only realized that now. Izzie's hand really did feel small when she was holding hers.
"And what's your name?" Izzie asked.
"Ah-- Killjoy," she said, coming back to the real world. Her heart was beating too fast for such a casual conversation. “Sorry, I’m not the type of person to do these things. Like, normally.”
"What kind of things?"
"Dance in front of everyone," Killjoy said. "Leaving a party that I shouldn't have left, with someone I don't know."
"I don't crash random parties every weekend either," Izzie laughed. “But it’s something that I did, and it was cool. Why shouldn't you have left the party?”
"Because it's a fundraising event that I had to attend," she said, a little sulkily.
"Oh, you’ll see, they’ll give you even more money after they saw how well you dance," Izzie said, with a teasing smile.
Killjoy felt her cheeks turn red. Scheisse , she had danced not only in front of a lot of people, but in front of a lot of potential donors. She had her image as a renowned, respected scientist, and she could have ruined so many things.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to-- it was just supposed to be a joke, sorry," Izzie said, and gently brushed Killjoy's bangs off her eyes. "Sorry I blew it."
Killjoy was still red, but now for a very different reason. "It's alright," she said. Izzie had put her hand on her cheek, and her touch was warm against the cool night wind. A slightly stronger gust passed through them, and Izzie shivered.
"Are you cold?" Killjoy asked, already starting to take off her jacket to offer it to her.
"No, it's okay," Izzie said. “I should close my jacket, but my outfit looks so much nicer with the jacket open. I can get a little cold for my style,” she laughed.
It was true that much of the style of her outfit was in the contrast of the jacket and the top. Killjoy hesitated, and then she moved closer, hugging Izzie. She hugged her back, pressing against Killjoy's body, getting so close that Killjoy couldn't think of anything other than her body, warm against hers.
"Thanks," Izzie said, resting her face against Killjoy's chest. "You’re warm."
Izzie could probably hear Killjoy's heart beating wildly. She had done so many things that night that she never would have done in a million years, but there was still one thing she hadn't done, and she desperately wanted to do it. But did she have the courage?
Oh, what was the worst that could happen?
She kissed Izzie softly. Her courage ran out fast, and she pulled away, not sure if she should have done that -- oh no, what if she had ruined everything? -- and Izzie pulled her closer, kissing her harder. Her lips were soft, and Killjoy rested his hands on her waist, feeling the warmth of her bare skin. Izzie's hands tangled in Killjoy's hair.
When they finally broke apart, Izzie smiled like she was keeping a secret. The girl had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss Killjoy, which was the cutest thing she had ever seen. Killjoy looked deep into her eyes, taking in that moment.
"Oh, I love this song!" Izzie said, all of a sudden. Killjoy hadn't even realized that the music was still playing around them. She was usually more perceptive than that, but there wasn’t always a girl like Izzie around. "Wanna dance?" Izzie asked, holding out her hand.
"Of course," Killjoy said, taking her hand again. This time, Izzie pulled her close from the start, and there was no distance between them. The music was slower, and Izzie moved her body to the rhythm of distant, muffled beats. Killjoy followed her movement, keeping them as close as possible. She could stay there forever, in the warmth of Izzie's arms, swaying slightly.
"What’re you thinking about?" Izzie asked, with a look that Killjoy didn't know how to read, but that she definitely liked.
To speak of ‘forever’ so soon was too risky, too dangerous. Killjoy felt her cheeks heat up when she said, lying just a little, "This isn’t how I thought my night was going to end."
"But it's not over yet," Izzie said, a little too quickly. In the moonlight, it was hard to tell if she was blushing, but Killjoy thought she was. "I mean, if you don't want it to be."
"I don't," she said, also a little too quickly. Izzie stood on her tiptoes again and kissed her slowly.
Killjoy's cell phone rang in her pocket, startling her. She apologized and Izzie loosened her arms around her, letting her take out the phone. The name on the screen was Brimstone’s.
"There's a place close by where you can see the whole city, and with a moon like that, the view’s so pretty," Izzie said. "You could tell them the party can go on without you."
The phone stopped ringing, and after a few seconds some messages arrived:
Brim: Killjou.are you okay? Answer Yoru phone.
Brim: your.
Brim: Do you.know how to turn off autocorrect?
She smiled, and started typing back.
Killjoy: Hi, I'm fine!
Killjoy: But I'm not going back to the party
She had several arguments prepared to defend that decision, but that was for later. She put her phone on silent and smiled at Izzie.
"Where’s this place with the view?"
Izzie smiled back. If Killjoy's heart was ever going to stop beating so hard when she looked at her smile, it wasn't going to be anytime soon.
“It's close, a few streets away. But don't expect too much. It’s not as pretty as you.”
Killjoy smiled, blushing, and let Izzie lead the way, holding her hand. Her phone vibrated in her hand, and before putting it in her pocket, she caught a glimpse of the message.
Brim: Told you it’d be good.for you to get out of the lab.