Chapter Text
Dr. Helen Sharpe needed to find a hiding place. Not the rooftop. That wasn't a hiding spot anymore. She wanted somewhere to think, to be alone and process what her mother had just said. In an email no less.
At least it wasn't a text.
Helen's mind was reeling. Her mum dropped a bombshell but hardly any details. "I'll call you tonight, luv," she'd written. Just like that. What was Helen supposed to make of this?
She was practically running through the halls of New Amsterdam, trying to find a secluded spot. Her feet led her to a staircase to the rooftop anyway. Helen climbed halfway up and stopped. She sank heavily to the steps, folded her arms over her knees and buried her head. All she could do was just...cry.
"Helen?" He spoke her name softly.
Of course he found her. He had an alarmingly accurate sense of locating Helen wherever she was in the hospital. To be fair, her Max Goodwin homing beacon was just as strong. And Helen was very aware of him, standing nearby. Something she'd been actively trying to avoid the past several months. Helen refused to be alone with Max for more than a few minutes since she'd started dating Cassian. The way they always gazed into each others eyes, like they could see into each others' souls. Aware of that thing between them that they refused to acknowledge out loud. That thing they dared not speak of or act on. That undefined something that hung over them for three years. They always seemed to fall back into this comfortable closeness, this more-than-friends way they had. Could she still have that with Max while dating someone else?
Helen sighed and looked up.
The concern on Max's face changed to fear in an instant when he saw the tears streaking down her face. She realized in that moment that she'd never let him see her cry, never let him see her weak. And right now she didn't even care.
Max sat down next to her. "What is it?" he asked cautiously. "I'm not gonna ask if you're ok because obviously you're not."
She chewed on that for a minute. "I have a brother," Helen finally blurted out. "I have an older brother, Max."
Max was silent for a moment as he processed. "I thought you were an only child?"
Helen snorted. "So did I."
He slipped his arm around her and rubbed her arm. Helen leaned into him, fresh tears welling in her eyes.
"I don't know what to think," she said. "I don't even know any details. My mother sent me an email of all things. 'Oh by the way, Helen.' I mean, what is that?"
Max gave a small shrug. "I don't know your mom, but-"
"She said she'd call me tonight with the full story," Helen interrupted. "Why bother sending me an email with that in the first place? Why not just call straight away?" She gestured wildly at nothing.
"I'm not supposed to guess here, am I?"
"No."
"Okay."
Helen sighed heavily. "Max, I'm sorry-"
"Don't be," he replied softly. He tugged her closer. "This is some shit you're dealing with. I'll be your punching bag if it means you don't take it out on the hospital at large."
She nodded against his shoulder. "I'm not sure I should even be here right now."
"If you need to take the rest of the day..."
Helen shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe I should stay and bog myself down with work."
Max shrugged. "Maybe copious amounts of alcohol?"
Helen looked at him and smiled.
"Or maybe a joint?" he joked.
"Do you have one?"
Max feigned shock and shook his head.
"Whatever you need, Helen," he stated, serious again. "I got you."
"I don't know what I need," Helen sighed again. He was rubbing circles on her back now. Helen closed her eyes and focused on the calming effect it had. Her mind was still spinning and all she could really conclude was that she needed to talk to her mother. She had so many questions, so many emotions.
They sat together in silence, Max rubbing Helen's back, Helen trying to tamp down everything roiling through her head. She finally looked at him and shrugged. "I have no idea what to feel right now."
Max smiled sympathetically. "I imagine you're feeling a lot of things. Anger, confusion, excitement, resentment, happiness, sadness. And it's all valid, Helen. You're allowed to feel all of that."
Helen gave him a slight nod as another tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. "Helpless is about all I feel right now. Hopeless. Carrying on like this."
"You're not hopeless," Max said, reaching over to wipe away the tear. "Maybe you should just go call her so you can start to sort through all this. Who says you have to wait until tonight?"
She thought about that for a moment. "You're absolutely right," Helen agreed. "I am a grown adult. I can go take care of this right now."
But she sat there.
Max raised his brows. "You're not moving."
Helen gave him a sheepish look. "No, I'm not."
Max sighed, stood up and held out his hands. She rolled her eyes and grasped them. He pulled her to her feet. He was standing one step below her, bringing her near his eye level. They stood there gazing at each other, neither of them leaving, hands clasped tightly together.
He was like an old pair of jeans. He was so...comfortable.
At the same time they let go of their hands and in synchronized motion pulled each other into a tight hug. Helen wrapped her arms around his neck while Max held her around her waist. They stood there for however long, gently swaying against each other. For the moment, all of Helen's family drama and stress melted away. She forgot all about her mother, the mystery brother. Her boyfriend. This, right here and now, was so easy.
Too easy.
Her fingers absently twirled through his hair at the nape of his neck. She pulled back just enough to rest her forehead against his. "Thank you," she whispered.
Max gave a slight shake of his head. "I literally did nothing."
Helen smiled. "You were here." She felt his hand clench at her waist, grabbing a fistful of her white coat. His mouth was so close, she was breathing him in. Helen could practically taste him.
Her hands slid to cup his face. She tilted her chin up and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Her thumbs swept across his bottom lip, down to the cleft in his chin. He pulled her even closer.
"I have to go, Max."
He nodded against her forehead. "I know." Max loosened his hold, his hands sliding to her hips before dropping to his sides.
Helen gently pushed his chest and slipped by him out of the stairwell and into the halls of the hospital.