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Yerim just wanted to have a good time.
Midterms are stressful enough, essays are a pain in the ass, and her existence is getting mundane. So of course, she follows along when her friends wanted a good time. Now, there she is, in a night club, dancing to music that is faster than her usual tempo of songs, drinking and laughing with tequila shots and long islands that are mixed a bit stronger, Yeojin and her other friends spending longer than usual in the dance floor. Her feet aching through her boots, but she's enjoying so it's fine.
"Jaehyuk is looking at you again," Jungeun yells through the loud music, the group of slightly intoxicated girls whipping their heads in the direction of the aforementioned man.
He catches Yerim's eyes which she responds to with a polite nod.
"Who's he? He's cute."
"Yerim's stalker."
Yerim sighs, "I already told him I swing for the other team."
"Still not giving up?"
"Nope, not even when I lied about having a girlfriend."
It's not like he's completely awful, if anything, he's a sweet man that occasionally gave her flowers and chocolates. Yerim agreed to go on a date once, it was after she failed to get into a relationship, and her over-thinking antics managed to convince her that maybe she's been misreading her sexuality the whole time and she’s not actually into girls. Jaehyuk was a cute guy who expressed interest, so she went to test the waters. And in her conclusion, she’s totally gay and just doesn't think of him like that. But his persistence to insert himself on her despite rejections is just very uncomfortable.
Yerim turns away, hoping he'll leave her alone tonight.
Spoiler alert: He doesn't.
Yerim feels him anticipating her when she turned to return to their reserved table, ready to block her path like a wall, a tall jet black-haired wall with a heavy scent of aftershave. Her head is already aching because of the loud music, and this situation is just adding to it.
So she walks the other way, getting even more frustrated and nauseous when she feels him following again.
Yerim tries to find a door to the outside or an escape she can partake. Jump out a window, start a riot for distraction, she is willing to do anything to escape another conversation. Please not today. She's here to let off steam. Not to get more stressed.
In the end, her escape came in a form of a pretty girl by the bar.
To be honest, Cheorry had been looking at her since she went into the club. The girl practically winced at every loud noise which made no sense as to why she went to a club where it's inevitable to have loud music and loud people.
Her side profile is one thing, but the second she turns to look around is when Yerim concludes that she's maybe bat shit crazy.
Might just be the alcohol, but a sudden idea pops in her head, every line of rationality blurring from her brain. Without much thought, Yerim confidently strides to the pretty girl and turns her stool.
Her brain close to malfunctioning because she looks even prettier close up. She's familiar, yet Yerim can't pinpoint where exactly she falls in the list of people she's interacted with.
"Hi!"
The girl's triangle lips hung open, hooded eyes clouded with confusion by her sudden appearance. For a moment, Yerim almost cowers from the intimidating stare but fights against it because drunk Yerim is apparently a confident Yerim.
"My name is Yerim, but we don't have time for formalities, do you mind helping me with something?"
The dark-haired girl gives a reluctant nod.
"Are you by any chance in a relationship?"
"No?"
"Great, I know this is really weird but please bear with me. I swear I'll get you anything you want after, just-"
With one swoop, Yerim presses her lips on her. It feels nice, and she tells herself it's because of the deprivation of affection she's been suffering due to her busy school schedule.
She feels a tad bad when the girl opposite her makes a noise of surprise and stiffens under her touch. Which is expected. Because she just forced a stranger to kiss her.
A stranger.
Shit, a total stranger.
She's basically harassing her. Oh no no-no-no.
The situation finally registers in Yerim's mind. And just when she's about to leave the triangle lips, a hand tentatively wrapping her hips makes every thought of stopping dissipate into the air, and the dark-haired is pulling her down to press a little firmer on her lips. Suddenly emboldened, another hand runs up her dress, the other is thumbing her jaw. It makes Yerim's knees buckles, opting to grab on the bar table to stabilise, the girl in between her arms.
She almost dies there and then.
The noise doesn't register in her ears anymore, the Edm dance music turning into tranquil chord progression, her dizziness calming.
And when only the human requirement of air was needed, they pull away with heavy heaps of breath. Yerim almost forgets why she did this in the first place because intense dark hooded eyes are staring into her, unreadable, or maybe Yerim is just rubbish in reading people, she always was.
She's having a gay episode. A really bad one.
Oh right, Jaehyuk is still staring.
Yerim searches the area around her, catching the eye of the very man who looks confused of the interaction he just witnessed.
She smiles to herself in success before turning back to the woman in front of her, noting down how she's currently a forehead shorter because of the high chair, and how her hand is extended forward for a friendly handshake.
"Hyeju."
"Um, I would love to, but I kinda told him I was dating a pretty girl."
"Oh okay." Hyeju nods in understanding, setting the extended hand on her hip. Smooth.
"I'm sorry about that, what I did is uncalled for, I don't usually do this, I mean I don't really like going to clubs, so I’ve never really done stuff like this. But he's been bothering me for weeks now because he doesn't believe I'm gay, and yes we did go on a date, but it only lasted an hour before I came to the conclusion that boys really aren't my thing. I'm not even sure If you're not straight, so I'm really really sorry -God, I'm rambling."
"You are."
"I promise I'll buy you a drink, just until he stops following me around-"
"You can calm down." Hyeju smiles, pupils stuck on to hers as if in a haze, and Yerim takes a mental note that she probably doesn't enjoy conversing for too long, so she apologises quickly for her talkative behaviour, reluctantly releasing her hold around her neck, Hyejoo stays put.
"He's always been like that, I understand."
"You know him?"
"He's in my English Literature class."
"Oh shit! 9:00am? I'm in that class too."
"Yeah, I know."
It's not that Hyeju was a bad catch, not at all, if Yerim already eyeing her down the whole night wasn't obvious enough already. Yerim was never just one to observe her surroundings, especially in English Literature, a class she deeply regrets taking for extra credits because who in the right mind would wake up at 8 in the morning to read and analyse hidden meanings behind texts and passages.
"I'm sorry I don't remember."
"Well, you're out pretty cold most of the time."
Oh, so Hyeju had noticed her.
A minutes passes by slow, and Yerim is starting to be aware of their awkward position. Hyejoo taking notice of her discomfort.
"Is he still looking?"
"Unfortunately, I think he actually still is."
"Well then." Without any warning, she's dragging her down and lips are latched on to her again.
^^
"She's pretty." The blonde comments, peeking over to her phone. Of course, they know who Hyeju is, watching the girl making out with your nonbiological baby and having said nonbiological baby talk your ear off about her is not exactly someone to be easily forgotten.
"I know." Yerim grins down on her phone. It's been well over weeks since the night in the club, and Yerim is infatuated.
"You should ask her out."
"No!"
Jungeun scoffs, unbothered as she proceeds to watch the rom-com on their shared sofa.
"It's only an option."
"No."
Yerim finally found a silver lining in that damn early English Literature Class: Giving her a reason to see Hyeju every week.
And it’s no wonder she barely notices the girl, because upon entering class and scanning the area, she finds Hyeju sitting way back in a dark corner of the lecture room. Yerim may have purposely planted herself on the vacant seat beside her in hopes of getting to know her better. Not expecting to be met by an awkward and silent cutie, instead of the confident woman that pulled her by the waist and swept her up her feet.
("Sorry, about that night." The dark-haired girl says quietly, had Yerim's attention not already be hyperly-attached to her, she wouldn't have caught it.
"You're apologizing? Shouldn't it be me?" The brunette chuckles in disbelief.
"I was tipsy, so I kept it going."
"But I initiated, so I should be sorry, and I am sorry."
The girl accepts her words, a wordless nod before turning away to focus on the professor. Yerim notes the tint on her cheek and takes it as a victory.)
Jinsoul announces the food she sets on the coffee table, menu matching Yerim's cravings per usual, her two roommates always willing to partake to her likings.
Yerim met Jinsoul in Junior year, when the older was in desperate need of a roommate in her apartment. Jungeun eventually moved in a year later, claiming what once was their temporary storage room after a bad breakup with her previous partner.
"Do you have her number?"
"No."
"Her social media?"
"No."
"So when are you meeting her again?"
"I see her in class every Tuesday."
"Oh, she's in your English Literature class?"
"Yeah."
"Ask her out for coffee then."
"What if she doesn’t want to do that? Or what if she gets too shy to say yes? Not that I know if she actually wants to-"
"You think too much."
^^
Yerim failed to ask her out. The promise turning into just staring at her phone.
Yeojin successfully tracked down her private social media accounts, but Yerim is just way too much of a coward to actually message her. Overthinking the words to type until there were none at all.
Now she’s moping under a tree, staring at the people passing by, music and some random book being her only accompany.
English Literature class was a failure, so she decided to have a self-pity party after they bid their goodbyes, Hyejoo walked the opposite way, and neither shared a word the whole morning except a shy bye.
I should have spoken to her.
Dumbass Yerim.
I let the opportunity pass again. Or maybe there is really no opportunity, what we're doing is practically play-
A presence sits beside Yerim.
A guy.
A jet black-haired guy. Pungent scents of aftershave and masculine mint.
Shin Jaehyuk.
He offers a chocolate bar, a polite smile on his slim chiseled face.
Yerim internally sighs.
She feels god awful for dreading his existence, because honestly speaking, he's done nothing wrong except denying the reality that she's leans more towards women than men.
”Yerimie."
"Hi."
"You're alone."
"I am."
She declines the chocolate bar with bright smile eyes.
"So you do have a girlfriend huh?"
"Yes, I do."
No, she doesn't, but he seems to be finally getting the situation.
"How long have you been together?"
"She asked me last week." Yerim tries to avert her attention back to the book despite barely remembering it was there. If she doesn't talk, maybe he'll get the memo. But who's she kidding? She told him face-to-face that she wasn't straight, and yet he still dismissed that statement.
"Babe." An arm extends to her shoulder, making Yerim let out a welp of surprise, the book falling in the process.
The heavy smell of mint and men overpowered by comforting toasty vanilla.
And Yerim is staring. Again. In a daze.
Because Son Hyeju is physically here, physically beside her, physically smiling at her, physically handing her strawberry milk. Her hair let loose from the bun, cascading down like a smooth silky waterfall.
Holy shit, she's pretty.
Shin Jaehyuk looks visibly uncomfortable, probably from feeling like an extra wheel. The discomfort continues when Hyeju's soft façade falls and is replaced by an intimidating expression.
"What were you guys talking about?"
"Well, not mu-much." Goddamnit Yerim.
Hyeju raises her eyebrow at the man, "What are you doing here?"
"I was just s-saying hi. I have to go now anyway, see you guys around class." Yerim has never seen Jaehyuk so quick to leave, suddenly standing from his crossed legs to a 90 degree polite bow, excuses before disappearing in the department building.
But the brunette doesn't even spare him a second because Hyeju is here, the confidence from earlier dissipating in the air, awkwardly retracting her arm that Yerim starts to sulk from the missing contact.
"You're here."
"I saw you were uncomfortable, I just figured..."
Yerim chuckles, "And you just happened to have a spare drink?"
"Well, it's was Chaewon unnie’s drink." The taller motions to the left, a blonde girl waving at them. Yerim cheerfully waves back. (Chaewon is Hyeju's best friend. Best friend. Hyeju made sure to shyly emphasize when said girl picked her up from class with an Iced Americano. She was also the same person who left Hyeju alone that fateful night in the club to go to the toilet with their other friends.)
"You can have it, I'll just buy her another one."
"Thank you, Hyeju."
The girl nods before standing from the grass, Yerim following suit, deciding that it was time to go too anyway.
This is your chance, Yerim.
What if she rejects me though?
Crap. She's going to leave. Oh wait, she's not. Why is she not walking away? Or is she-
"Youwanttohangagaintomorrow?"
Hyeju’s abrupt turn almost knocks Yerim back to the ground, the jumble of words making her snap out of her head, confused as to why the girl opposite her is red in the face.
"What?"
"Oh um, tomorrow.” “Tomorrow?” “Yeah tomorrow, my afternoon classes are cancelled. Do you, maybe, want to hang out? At the campus coffee shop?"
"Yes!" Yerim replies a little too enthusiastically, and it makes her want to disappear on the floor.
It doesn’t matter though, because the latter seems to be more shocked that she actually said yes, "Really?"
"Yes."
Are Yerim's Friday classes canceled? No. But she's sure as hell not missing a chance with a pretty girl.
Yerim sends a shy grin to the girl. Hiding the blush rising behind her cup of hot choco. Rachel Yamagata's music and the barista calling out orders being the only noise to fill the silence.
This is ridiculous.
They've been seated there for half an hour and all Yerim could muster up is a lame game of 20 questions.
Yerim doesn't even understand why they're so awkward with each other, they've already spent one whole night sucking each other's faces.
Do they need alcohol and sleep deprivation to conversate?
Im Mature: @Jeri Talk to her
Im Mature: Coward
lippu: Spy on them for me @Im Mature
Soul: I'm proud of you Yerim
Cat: Wait Cat: yall were actually serious about Yerim getting laid?
Yerim looks up from her phone, making immediate eye contact with Yeojin sitting two tables behind them. The younger girl deemed it as a total coincidence, even though it is totally obvious that she is there to spy.
But she’ll not let that affect their little date.
"Hey Hyeju, I think it's your turn."
"Me? Oh right. Uh... do you like the cold?"
Yerim almost snorts at the question. How could the atmosphere be so contradicting compared to their bygone activity? Coffee just doesn't have the same effect as alcohol.
"I love winter." She giggles, playing along to the innocent question, her half-moon eyes visible. Yerim always loved the atmosphere around this time of year, yellow lights strobing around the white city, the crunching of snow under her shoes, chilly snow particles gently coating her shoulders and the crown of her head.
Their gaze automatically maneuver to the massive window beside them, suddenly thankful for having the thick layers of clothing and indoor heater.
"You?"
"I don't like the cold."
"Oh." Yerim almost drones her on why the cold is a perfect season —it's perfect for cuddling and talks over hot cocoa. It's a perfect moment to bond over beer and chicken. Or under the duvet. But that's for another time, because she notices the dusted red tip of her nose, how her hand is grabbing on the cup, desperate for its warmth. Her cute habit of biting her lower lip because she's nervous and Yerim loves how she doesn't even need to fully analyze her because her eyes already give out enough.
Wow. She's got it bad.
"Your turn."
"Can I kiss you again?"
The dark-haired girl almost spits her drink, ears turning a tint of red that matches that of a cherry.
Choi Yerim, bad call.
"I mean- I'm sorry, I don't know wh-where that came fro-"
The latter grabs her hand, and then she's being dragged into the toilet.
Yerim thinks it's a yes.
She's sure Yeojin knows exactly what's happening and currently updating the progress to their group chat, but she'll not think about that now because her back is thrust on the bathroom stall, triangle lips occupying hers, hand tangled in her hair, palms on her neck, eliciting even more butterflies than the night in the bar.
Very bad. Yerim has it very bad.
("So friends with benefits?"
"They're barely even friends, they've made out more than they've talked." Yeojin mocks, making Yerim pout because she can't exactly argue with what's the truth, so she's left to sulk with her sad cold french fries.
"I really want to get to know her."
"How will you if always end up in each other's faces?")
^^^
Yerim scored Hyeju's number. And it took three days before one of them finally spoke.
Conversation through the phone is smoother than in real life. Hyeju is not exactly talkative, but Yerim eventually grew accustomed to it the more they hung out. She doesn't mind it much, just a tranquil silence around them is okay too.
"Look, I don't know what I'm doing." Yerim nervously giggles, even more nervous when she notices the distance between their lips, as if they haven't been attached the whole night already. They continued their unfinished game of 20 questions, Yerim using the same tactic to get a kiss. Hyeju being nice enough to play along.
"It's okay."
Yerim melts into the kiss Hyeju gently initiates, enjoying how her hand is firm on her lower back.
Yerim ended up inviting her home.
Why?
She doesn't know exactly why either because all she's been doing since is awkwardly blubbering through their make-out sessions and embarrassing herself. The fact that Hyeju is a great kisser makes everything worse because she's an amateur who's barely done anything like this before. And now her sober levels are back up, meaning that confident Yerim is no way up there anymore.
Her roommates would be so disappointed, she promised to get to know the girl she's developing feelings for, but now she just ended up bringing her home.
Why exactly did she invite her?
What did she expect this innocent talk over beer and chicken to turn into?
Her train of thoughts is cut by the light squeeze on her hips.
Hyeju withdraws, assessing her reaction.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah? Yeah, I think I am."
"We can stop if you want to."
Hell no.
Yerim surges forward this time, hand exploring her bare shoulders. Their mouth finding each other in the most chaotic way possible, noses bumping into each other as tension builds up.
What if her two roommates go home and walk in on their precious daughter?
No, they're staying over at Jiwoo's for movie night.
What are you doing to yourself, Yerim?
Just tell her that you're a lame loner who has never done anything to this extent.
You're kissing probably the hottest girl on campus, and you're having a mental breakdown.
Ama-
Oh.
Hyeju bites on her lower lip, prompting a gasp which the dark-haired girl immediately takes advantage of, shoving her tongue down, tenderly brushing on each other, and exploring uncharted areas.
The bliss she feels from the contact makes her tug on Hyeju's baby hair. The aggressive action giving the taller confidence, her palms running up and down on the brunette's curves until it slips entirely through the fabric of her crop top, making contact with her warm skin. It summons a low moan from Yerim.
Uh oh.
What have I done?
The kiss is broken, and Yerim refuses to open her eyes. Because Hyeju would be right in front of her, and she's too ashamed to see how the taller girl would react to her red face, especially after she hears her apologise for getting ahead of herself.
"Uh, Why aren't you opening your eyes?"
"I d-don't k-"
"You're cute."
The randomness makes Yerim's eyes shoot open. And she's slightly less ashamed, because Hyeju is in the same state as her, if not, ears even redder.
"Me?"
"Yes."
Yerim feels weak. If she was standing, her limbs would have turned jelly. Because Hyeju is staring fondly, too fondly, and she doesn't know how to react.
"I feel kind of hot."
"What?" The girl snorts, dumbfounded. Only getting the memo when Yerim starts unbuttoning her blouse, a shy smile on both their faces, the atmosphere dominating the air around them.
"I feel hot too."
^^
"Stop smiling." Hyunjin gestures to her, a judgmental stare.
"But Yerim is always usually smiling," Heejin comments in her defence.
"I know, but this is different."
"How so?"
"It's more tiring to look at."
Resting Hyunjin's case, Yerim giggles as she cheerfully skims through her Japanese book. She doesn't remember anything being that interesting in that language book.
"You're weird."
"Don't mind me." The brunette waves her away, her mood too elated to be affected by criticism.
"How could I not?"
"I can't help it."
"Are you dating already?"
"No," Yerim admits with a meek grin.
Jiwoo squeals, just excited that their baby finally has someone. Her girlfriend being the main victim to her ear-piercing shrills, Jungeun already looking exhausted with her arm lent for the ginger to squeeze.
They're invited to the dance crew's victory house party, the couple dragging her despite her rejection, Yerim just wanting to work on her essays and avoid loud music. As much as she loves the outdoors, nothing changes the fact that she's been in countless of their celebration. Expected from the crew that wins almost every competition and makes sure to have a celebration after.
("Sooyoung unnie invited us."
"Insider lesbian god?"
Jungeun makes a face at the nickname, "Should I be worried?"
"No, because I have my hot Jungeunie winnie right here." Jiwoo fondles with her cheeks, the blonde taking in the affection.)
The atmosphere of the bar is not so hectic yet, so it was easy to spot familiar faces.
A familiar face that is Son Hyeju.
They make instant eye contact, leaving Yerim no room to fix her composure. The amount of times Yerim has unexpectedly seen Hyeju lately is almost mind boggling to her, because how many times has she missed her before? How many college parties has she been to where she just past by the girl? Son Hyeju's being a constant presence is a sudden and very welcomed new aspect in her life.
"It's Hyeju." She's giddy, everyone with eyes can see it.
"That's her? The girl you keep talking about?" Jiwoo squeaks, loudly. Yerim panics, quickly glancing if said girl heard. "Who is that she's with?"
"Oh Chaewon, her best friend."
Jungeun eyes them suspiciously before reaching a conclusion in her brain and dragging the two girls to the kitchen counter where they find the third party of the roommate clan. With her, two girls that Yerim remembers as nice saint lady that is Yeojin's sister and a pretty Hong Kong lady with a fancy name.
"Yerim, your girl is here."
"I saw." Yerim blushes at the title, remembering how her roommates were not so glad of the fact that activities happened in their house. "I'll talk to her later."
("I asked around, and they told me she's really awkward when she's not drunk."
"Where did you get this information?"
"Sooyoung, they're sisters.")
The night went on the same as any other party, eventually, the dance team starts piling in, dancing and drinking games busying up the room, a random dance battle inevitably ensuring, Yerim feeling laughter take over her body when Jiwoo uses her rendition of twerking to win over the hip hop dancer Seoyeon.
She's been sneaking occasional glances at Hyeju who watched from the sides, sipping on her fifth cocktail, Chaewon left her to have fun on the dance floor. It's clear that loud crowds aren't her thing, Sooyoung mentioned something about finally successfully dragging her sister to one of the parties and about Hyeju being a complete introvert (She was also the reason Hyeju was in the club that day, so Yerim also has her to thank).
On those occasions, Hyeju’s eyes would light up, smiling fondly when Yerim shows off her dancing. As if a different beat of music is playing between them, in their own world, just enjoying each other's presence from afar even through the loud music.
"Yerimie!" An unexpected arm slugs on her shoulder, heavy enough to weigh her down. Then the alternative love songs are gone, back to pop-locking Lady Gaga songs, and she's back on the dance floor with the crew and random strangers.
"Jaehyuk."
"My baby Yerimie."
"You're here."
Yerim's eyes desperately catches Jungeun's behind the man, begging for an escape from her red-faced pungent alcohol-smelling classmate. The blonde catching the message and staggering over.
"Yes, I am! Did you miss me?"
"Look Jaehyuk, I have something important to do, I'll talk to you later."
"No!" The arm on her shoulder presses down harder, his mouth getting closer, the strong smell of cigarettes and booze overwhelming her nostrils. "I have something super important to tell you."
"Jae."
"I really like you, Choi Yerim."
"I know, but Hye-"
Palm pressed firmly on her waist, triumphant in snatching her away from the intoxicated man. She looks up, Hyeju standing protectively beside her, a threatening stance and harsh glare to their fellow classmate.
Oh, the love songs are back.
Ever so drunk, Jaehyuk doesn't get the message, trying to reach for the brunette again. Hyeju swats his hand away.
"Fuck off, man." She growls, tugging her closer. The attitude making her kind of hot.
"I just have to talk to her."
Just when Hyeju was about to retaliate, arms yank the two girls away.
"Only good vibes please." Sooyoung clicks her tongue, flicking her sister's head in the process, "You come one time, and you're fighting people."
Hyeju grumbles, still stuck on the brunette like glue. It makes her nervously giggle at the tenacious hold.
"Can you get her home, Ye?"
They walk side by side, a dumb yellow umbrella saving them from being covered in white, they've spent the walk laughing at random snowmen made by strangers, and failed an attempt of a snowball fight because Hyeju is terrifying.
("Oh it's snowing." Just the sight of the cold makes Hyeju cower in her puffer jacket. Her 'Don't touch her or you're dead' attitude dispersing into her smiley and goofy counterpart.
"Maybe we should call a cab-"
"Wait for me."
"No, wait Hyeju n-"
She runs off, the hood over her head being the only protection she has.
Yerim watches in the distance as the latter gradually blends into the white, she contemplated if she should follow the girl because of her intoxicated state. But decides to wait like instructed to instead.
5 minutes later, yellow fights through the white, and Hyeju is in front of her, face red, tired breath turning into white fog, a proud smile on her face, a bright yellow umbrella above them contradicting her usual brooding façade.
"You bought yellow?"
"It reminds me of you.")
"You only have two more questions left."
"I'm surprised you're counting." Yerim giggles, thoroughly enjoy the girl's presence, Hyeju's alcohol intake making her talkative.
The both of them instinctively stop by the canal, staring at the moon glow in the sky. The scenery in front of them looking even more colorful than usual, streaks of colors tainting their eyes.
"So answer me."
"My biggest secret?"
"Yeah."
She waits for Hyeju to respond, taking this time to stare at her face and savour the tranquil lilt of Yebit playing through their shared AirPods.
"Well, I guess my biggest secret is I cry at the most random times." The taller girl admits, "And it's weird because I'm not considered as someone emotional."
"But," She gazes away, hesitation clear on her distressed eyebrows.
"But what?"
"It's kind of embarrassing."
"Tell me, I won't laugh."
A succumbing sigh follows Yerim's triumph, "I cry when something is too beautiful."
Yerim almost laughs on impulse but fights against it because she vowed not to. Instead, she sets an encouraging palm on her shoulder to coax a further explanation.
"Moments when the beauty of the music just matches the moment, or when you play a game and stop a moment to admire the art. I cry when something reminds me how artistically beautiful life is."
Her confession is endearing and wholesome, and Yerim thinks to herself how much she likes her even more because of the detail.
Hyeju fully turns to face her, the yellow from the umbrella reflecting on her white puffer jacket.
"You better stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?" Yerim tilts her head.
"Like that, it makes me want to kiss you."
The love songs are back. And Yerim suddenly understands what she was trying to say. The right song at the right time. She feels like crying.
^^^
Their activities continue, everyone around them growing used to their dynamics. Hyeju would occasionally stay over in her apartment or Yerim would come over to her shared dorm room with Chaewon, who they felt bad for since she's walked into them multiple times. This is why they ultimately spent more time in her apartment as they have the benefit of her private bedroom.
"Shit, I'm late to class."
Hyeju's vocabulary of profanities is reiterated as she hops off the bed, accidentally waking the brunette in the process with her frantic state. By the time Yerim willingly opens her eyes, her bedside is vacant and the water in the shower is running.
The brunette groggily makes her way to the living room, greeting Jinsoul who walks out of the kitchen with a house robe and a mug of hot coffee.
"You're early, I thought classes aren't until three."
Yerim groans, sinking deep in the couch, her body molding on the big cushions.
A hectic Hyeju makes her way, hair up in a bun and round glasses on as she desperately straightens the crown of her hair.
"Morning, did I wake you?"
Yerim nods. But she's too focused beaming at her clothes on the girl, particularly the baby blue hoodie everyone knows she cherishes.
"Sorry, I'll make it up to you later." As if on autopilot, Hyeju bends down to leave a peck on her lips, the brunette accepting the gesture.
Jinsoul scoffs from the kitchen door.
"You want coffee?"
"No thank you, I'll just get some after class."
She bids the roommates goodbye and the front door is shut.
Yerim feels the area beside her occupy, and she doesn't need the raven to speak to hear her teasing.
Hyeju is practically there all the time, eventually, her roommates warmed up to the awkward quiet girl. And although Jungeun doesn't approve of their current dynamics, she does enjoy the company, exceptions for the sounds at night.
"She kissed you goodbye."
"She did."
"She made us dinner last night."
"Yeah."
"She left a toothbrush and clothes in your room."
"Yup."
"It's been three months, don't you think it's way past playing and you should make it official?"
Everyone has been asking that question.
Even Yerim is aware that they're way past fooling around and spent nights just being in each other's presence.
Last night, Yerim went home after an exhausting Japanese test to Hyeju laughing and chatting with her non-biological mothers, the three holing up together in front of the TV. Yerim's heart soaring at the sight. Especially when the girl offers to cook them dinner for basically living there.
("Hey, aren’t you here because you wanted to tell me something important?" An uncontrollable tired yawn comes right after, humming in content when the taller pulls her on the bed.
"It can wait, you sleep."
"Is it important?"
Hyeju hesitates, but she eventually shakes her head, opting to draw her body closer.
"Okay then, I'm sorry."
The latter gives an understanding kiss on her forehead and focuses on gaming on her switch, letting the brunette nuzzle into her nape.
It’s painfully domestic and simple.)
"I usually don't say much because that is Jungeun's job, but don't you think it's getting dangerous?"
"Huh?"
"Yerim, you're a hopeless romantic. You overthink everything. I'm just scared you're going to get hurt."
"I'll be fine unnie!" Her tone is enthusiastic, the raven clicking her tongue.
"If you say so."
(Yerim stares, face comfortably smushed on the pillow. In front of her is Hyeju, laying in the same type of comfort, staring at her with what Yerim describes as an equivalent to puppy eyes —When her wolf eyes get round and stars are reflecting on them, unreadable emotions underlying the dark brown pupils.
"I overthink too much, sometimes my anxiety when it comes to relationships gets the better of me." Yerim admits with an anxious gulp, "I was almost in a lot of relationships, but I tend to panic and end them before it even starts."
Yerim has wasted the whole day mulling over the issue. Jinsoul's words still wavering in her mind.
Of course, she wants the next step. Does Hyeju want it though?
The taller girl looks bothered lately, even more nervous and awkward around her. She has no idea how to start the topic, fear of pushing her out of her comfort zone and scaring her off.
Goddamnit, Yerim.
A hand tucking a loose stray behind her ear makes Yerim snap out of her thoughts, instantly distracted by the faint smile on the latter's face, her bare face, how she's buried inside layers of blanket, just Son Hyeju running through her brain.
She lets Yerim play her playlist, the moment felt so vulnerable, as if she wasn't supposed to be witnessing it, a private connection that sends tingles all over her skin.
Yerim concludes that she's falling in love.)
^^^
The warnings catch up faster than expected, Yerim's brain was left to run free, spending the whole of her classes thinking the situation over.
Does the girl feel the same or is she sold on just a platonic relationship? What if she's been reading everything wrong?
It doesn't help that the girl is sitting at a table across her, looking way comfortable with Chaewon, both girls' attention too distracted with their switch to notice them.
Yerim is oblivious of the concerned Hyunjin eyeing her, the senior reaching her with her long arms to flick her wrinkled forehead.
"What's up with you?"
Yerim rubs the back of her neck, humiliation filling up her bright smile for neglecting her friends.
"Nothing."
"It's never nothing when you let yourself think like that." She comments lowly, Heejin agreeing with her. The couple looks at what she was unconsciously staring at earlier.
"Oh, is it about Hyeju?" The older asks, popping a fry in her mouth.
"No.”
Yerim is nervous.
She's confessing tonight.
She's never been so sure in her life. Or not.
Because Hyeju walks in the bar with Chaewon, looking relaxed with the blonde clinging on her arm. And Yerim is back to being crammed with worried thoughts.
Jungeun gives an encouraging pat on her shoulder which gives no effect because she turns back on her high chair, burying her face in her hand because she decided to give up and let Hyeju find her later instead.
"What happened to asking her out?"
"Heejin unnie and Chaewon unnie are friends.” “And?”
“She told me they had a thing before."
"I'm sure it's nothing."
“I know that’s probably the case, but-“
Yerim came to a realisation lately. She realised that she basically knew nothing about the girl. And that's terrifying. She's willing to give her heart to her, blindly walk in, having no clue if she feels the same.
She can’t read her. She can’t ask her directly because she doesn’t know that will scare her off.
Hyeju always acted so closed off with her.
Does a few kisses mean anything to her or is Yerim just putting meaning into everything?
Yerim's neck cranes to the side to give her a clear path, eyes closed in pure bliss of feeling her lips on her shoulder.
This is not right. The thought is overwhelming.
Yerim gives up completely in her confession, especially when the latter's façade comes back up, opposing the laughter she had with the blonde before Yerim approached.
What if she doesn't feel the same?
She pushes her off, a bit panicked, a bit too aggressively.
And Hyeju is staring at her confused, flustered. Face redder than a riped apple.
"Did I hurt you?" As always, it was innocent, the words coming out of her mouth timid and calculated. For once, Yerim is starting to get annoyed by it.
Three months. This game has been going on for three months.
Yet Hyeju still talks to her cautiously, and when Yerim finally thinks the shield will subside, it comes back all steel and heavy-duty.
"Hyeju."
"Yeah?"
"I don't want to do this anymore" Yerim fully retreats from her.
Hyeju looks lost, eyes slanted and staring up at her from the bed. It pains Yerim, but being in the room with her is too overwhelming, her newfound revelation smothering her.
"Do what?"
"I can't take it anymore."
"What?"
"This."
"Yerim, I-" Then she shuts her mouth, letting Yerim slip on her shoes and leave.
^^^
"What I meant was talk to her," Yerim doesn't respond despite knowing her roommate is aware that she's damn awake, "not run away."
The bed beside her dips.
"You have to wake up and go to class."
English Literature. Yerim is not ready for that. Especially when she hasn't been in contact with the girl for a week. Especially when she feels bad for leaving the girl with no explanation. Especially for letting her thoughts control her decision again.
"You can't miss that class, that teacher takes attendance."
Yerim looks up, a clear frown on her face, "I'm such a loser, unnie. I ruined everything again."
Jungeun scoffs, stroking her head in pity, “I know, but don't fail your classes too."
"Fine."
Yerim enters the lecture room, hair a mess and a timid smile on her face as the professor shakes his head at her poor punctuality.
She makes it a point to not look at the back row, not ready to see Hyeju, and sits at her usual seat by the front row.
Yerim sleeps through her class, exhaustion taking over as the professor spends a whole 20 minutes explaining a quote from 'The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto'. Only waking up when she hears foots steps and a finger is knocking on her table.
Yerim groggily meets her classmate's eye.
"Jaehyuk."
The man hasn't spoken to him since the night in the club, leaving her in peace.
"Hey, Yerimie." It is visible he is nervous, gaze avoiding hers. "Long time no talk."
She nods lowly. —Not today. She's too tired to cope with him.
"I wanted to apologize for what I did." He hands over a bouquet, his shaky hands visible from how the sunflowers are trembling.
"It's okay Jaehyuk, I don't-"
"No, I mean, I understand. You don't like me, I'm sorry I was being such a pain. I'll stop now, can we at least be friends again?"
"Friends?"
"I'm serious. Just friends this time, like before I got all weird with you." How the man awkwardly scratching her neck is charming, and it makes Yerim chuckle, accepting the offered flowers.
"Fine, friends."
Relief falls on his face, "If I ever step out of bound, just tell me."
"Sure."
"Well then, friend, do you want to go for coffee? You look like you haven't slept."
"Please."
Yerim stands from her seat, stretching her tight muscles before looking through the supposed empty lecture room only to see a presence in the back.
Son Hyeju.
Crap. Why didn't she leave yet?
Yerim panics and tugs the confused man with her out of the room.
Yerim is confused.
This is not what she excepted to hear when she picked up her phone.
Not from Hyeju.
Not at 4 in the morning.
"My name is Son Hyeju. I have a weird obsession with watermelons. My dream is to develop my own game, but I stopped playing recently because I had a really bad gaming habit addiction. I was a loner in high school because I was too shy. I memorize girl group dances but never show them off because it's embarrassing. I have a sister who's a hip-hop dancer."
"Hyeju?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"Why are you telling me this?" Yerim chuckles into the phone.
"Because I want you to know me, and I want to get to know you too. I want to start over and know you know you. Not just know you. But actually know you. I’m rambling."
Yerim doesn't know if her heart is pounding because of the confession or because this is the most she has heard Hyeju spoke. It's honestly both.
"Um, me too?"
“Did you accept Jaehyuk’s confession?” The sentence comes out shyly.
“Jaehyuk? We just agreed to be friends.”
“Oh.”
“Why did you call, Hyeju?”
"I used to notice you every time you went to class, you were usually late, but even when the professor was getting mad, you just smiled. Then you would just fall asleep.”
"I was too shy, I am shy, because this pretty girl I've been staring at for a whole semester was suddenly kissing me. And I got confident in that, not talking because you seemed to like the physical stuff enough. I'm sorry I'm so shy. I'm sorry I need alcohol to talk to you."
Yerim is practically speechless, staring at the empty space of her room, emotions brewing up in many concoctions. Her brain can't decipher the situation. Hell, it's empty.
"I can't stop thinking of you, Choi Yerim. I think I might be in love with you."
That was it.
“I tried telling you, but you just made me so nervous.”
"I'm going there."
Without a second thought, without overthinking another thought, Yerim rolls off her bed.
"No- you don't ne-"
"I'll be there in 10."
"But I'm-"
"Wait for me, Son Hyeju."
Yerim rushes, randomly flinging anything on from the floor. Running out the door with no other words other than taking that dumb yellow umbrella, ignoring even when Jinsoul tried to ask her where she's going and Jungeun warning her about the snow. She doesn't bother taking the lift, running down the stairs which she regrets immediately because now she's gasping for air, the chilly wind making it harder to breathe.
When she pushes the gate, she doesn't expect to meet the very girl.
Hyeju in a long puffer jacket, her hair a mess and face blushing red from the cold, buried in a thick red scarf. Snowflakes falling behind her like a magical white background, white on the tips of her eyelashes, the crown of her hair, her shoulders.
Yerim is left speechless again. The love songs playing in the air again.
"What are you doing? You're gonna get sick." She immediately covers her with the umbrella, using her free hand to wipe away snow particles from her body.
"Hi." Her smile is sheepish and she has the same awkward stance, "You didn't have to go there, I was already here."
"Oh."
"I know it's 4 am, but I couldn't help myself."
Yerim is overwhelmed, mouth hanging ajar.
"Whydidyoutellmeallthatthroughthephone?"
"What?"
"I'm mad at you."
"You are?"
"I'm mad you said all those through the phone where I couldn't do this."
She pulls the girl by the collar, the frost on her face heating up when their lips touch.
They pull away, Hyeju's taste lingering a little, her eyes close, foreheads touching, the two savouring the moment. Enjoying how Hyeju's breathe fans over her face, cold hands on her waist.
"I think I'm on my last question, right?"
Hyeju smiles, tugging her closer for a hug. "What is it?"
"Can we make out?"
The girl laughs, chin resting on top of her shoulder. "Maybe we should talk about us first?"
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Maybe with a heater and some warm cocoa?"
"Great, let's go in, I'm cold."
("You're beautiful, Choi Yerim."
"Are you going to cry now?"
"Might as well.")
End.