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"You're not *serious*!"
"Completely--look, it even made the papers."
*muffled hysterical laughter* "Oh, that's *priceless*. I wonder if they've seen it yet?"
"We'll get our chance to ask... here they come."
"Hey Sean, Vig. How's married life?"
*quizzical look* "Fine... we're fine. *sigh* I wish people would stop asking me that. What's the sudden interest?"
*Viggo winces* "Um...Sean... about that..."
"Funny, the papers sure seem to think so."
*paper rustles* "They *WHAT*! Viggo, why didn't you *tell* me, you ijdit? I've been wandering around all night with people asking me how being married is..."
*sigh* "I'm sorry, I just... forgot."
*Sean smiles, evilly* "Well... that would be a good reason for a divorce, wouldn't it, Viggo? You forgetting to mention our marriage being all over the papers? And you were *such* a good wife, too..."
"But... our fairytale Hollywood marriage, Sean! Are you going to throw away five years of bliss on rumors in the tabloids? Besides, Orli's married now, remember?"
*those around are currently laughing too hard to breathe*
"It's over, Viggo."
"But... what about the house? And our horses?"
"*Our* horses? They're *your* horses."
"All right, fine... what about the dog?"
"*Our* dog?"
"Gotcha."
*heavy sigh* "I guess we'll just have to go on being married, then."
"Sorry, boys, just a rumor... we're happily married."